On Her Nees

***This is strictly parody and not affiliated with Progressive Insurance.

Although, if they enjoy this and want to give me a good discount, I'm open to it.

...

"Dammit, not again," said Mike.

Mike was sitting at his desk in the corner of the living room reading an email on his laptop. It was from his insurance company explaining their reasons for raising their insurance rates. It was the third time that year his car insurance company had done that to him and he was going to take a big financial hit because of it.

Three years ago, when he switched over to Wickman Insurance, he was happy to be with a company with a good reputation and reasonable rates. His previous insurance company screwed him over a minor fender bender that wasn't his fault so he was more than happy to move on from them.

Less than a year later, Wickman raised the rates, claiming state taxes as the reason. Mike believed them and let it go. The following year, the rates were raised again which got him mad, but his Wickman insurance agent said there was nothing he could do about it. He thought about switching to another insurance company, but his current rates were still lower than the competitors, although not by much.

The about a year ago, he got into another minor accident which also wasn't his fault. The other vehicle damaged the right-side passenger door; it could still be opened, but the damage was very noticeable. The problem was that the owner of the other car didn't have any insurance so Mike had no choice but to use the uninsured motorist clause in his insurance policy to pay for it. The owner of the other vehicle paid him back for the deductible which made it easier for him, but by choosing that insurance clause it raised his rates some more. After that, they made more excused to raise his rates two more times for various reasons.

"I need to get a new insurance company," Mike said to himself.

"With those rates, I don't blame you," said a female voice from behind him.

Mike jumped out of his chair and gave a small scream. He got himself in a fighting stance, getting himself ready for the intruder in his house.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked.

"Hi, I'm Flo," said the woman before him. "The official spokesperson for Progressive Insurance."

Mike took a good look at her and wondered if he was seeing things. It took him a moment to realize that he was definitely looking at the same woman from all those progressive commercials that he had been seeing for so many years. The same big smile, heavy makeup, retro hairstyle, white clothes with matching apron that had the progressive logo printed on the front.

"Oh my God, you're real," said Mike as he began to settle down. "What are you doing here?"

"To let you know about all the benefits that Progressive can offer you," she replied.

"How did you know I was thinking about changing companies?"

"I'm Flo, I always know," she said.

"That doesn't make sense," he said.

"Neither does sticking with an insurance that you can't rely on," she replied cheerfully. "If you don't believe me, you can ask four-fifths of the band N'Sync."

Suddenly, music started blaring outside of Mike's home. They both walked out and saw four out of the five members of N'Sync performing on a makeshift stage on his front lawn with several other other progressive employees in matching white clothes as their back up dancers. The band was performing one of their infamous songs 'It's Gonna Be Me' but rewritten in a way to describe the benefits of switching to Progressive.

"You may notice Justin Timberlake isn't here," said a voice next to him.

Again, Mike jumped back in fright. This time it was the skinny, short-haired blonde guy who sometimes show up in the commercials. The name tag on his apron said Jamie.

"What the hell?" Mike yelled.

"It's ok, I got an autograph photo for you," said Jamie.

"I didn't ask for it," said Mike.

"You got it anyway," said Jamie as he handed him the photo.

Mike took the photo and saw it was not only signed by Justin Timberlake, but it also had a note from him to let him know he should switch to Progressive.

"Thank you," said Mike nervously.

The whole situation was freaking him out. He was only considering the idea of changing insurance companies; he did not expect to suddenly find himself in a real-life version of a famous comedic commercial series.

"So, what do you say? Did N'Sync convince you to switch to Progressive?" asked Flo.

"I honestly wasn't paying much attention," said Mike. "Nor do I care about N'Sync as much as you do, or anyone else in America anymore."

The band immediately stopped performing and looked sternly at Mike.

"Not cool bro," said one of the band members.

The band walked away and a stage crew began dismantling the stage.

"Aww, they didn't even get to play 'Bye Bye Bye' yet," said Jamie.

Another Progressive actor suddenly appeared out of nowhere, again startling Mike. It was another woman he had seen in the commercials, a young dark-haired woman with the name Lucy on her apron.

"Well, if N'Sync couldn't convince you to switch to Progressive, then maybe Santa will," said Lucy.

"Santa?" asked Mike.

"Ho, ho, ho," said a voice from above.

Mike looked up and saw a mand dressed as Santa Claus on his roof with five small elves and a large red sleigh behind them.

"What the hell is going on here?" said Mike.

"I know it's only June," said Santa. "But I've come here to give you the gift reliable car insurance."

Each of the elves began singing a new version of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas', but rewritten to describe twelve benefits of switching to Progressive.

"All these benefits should cover all of your insurance needs," said Flo.

"I'm more concerned about Santa's fat ass falling through my roof," said Mike.

"Not cool, bro," said Santa. "Let's get out of here."

Santa and the elves got on the Christmas sleigh and flew off into the sky.

"Oh my God. I thought he was just an actor, not the real Santa," said Mike.

"Of course, we got the real Santa," said Flo. "That's how committed we are to providing you with the best insurance."

"But if neither N'Sync or Santa can convince you, maybe our Elvis impersonator will," said Lucy.

Out of nowhere an Elvis impersonator appeared. He had the standard Elvis hairstyle and sunglasses but wearing the Progressive uniform just like the other actors. He was carrying a guitar and was about to play a song before Mike interrupted him.

"No, no, no! We're not doing an Elvis thing here!" yelled Mike. "I'm done with this. You can't convince me to change insurance companies because of some over-the-top gimmicks. And I don't think I'm going with your company."

"Is there anything we can do to change your mind about Progressive?" asked Flo.

"Other than sucking my dick, nothing will make me go to Progressive," said Mike. "Now please get the hell off my property before I call the police."

Mike ran back into his house and locked the door behind him. He peaked the through the curtains of the side window and watched as the Progressive actors were beginning to leave. The whole situation was too much for him to handle. He was only thirty-three and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack from all the craziness he had just experienced.

When he began to relax, he started thinking back to what N'Sync and Santa's elves were telling him about the Progressive. They did make some good points about the type of insurance he was looking for, and he did know some people who had Progressive and were happy about it. The whole situation with Flo still freaked him out, but he still thought Progressive may not be a bad company to switch to.

"Ok, I'll do it," said a voice behind him.

Mike screamed and again got himself in a fighting stance as he turned around to see Flo standing in the middle of his living room again.

"What the hell, Flo?" he yelled. "You have to stop doing that to me. How do you keep getting into my house? And what do you mean 'I'll do it'? Do what, exactly?"

"You said besides sucking your dick, you won't switch to Progressive," she replied as she took off infamous apron and threw it away. "So that's what I'm here to do. If you switch to our company, I will suck your dick."

Flo began to undo the buttons in the front of her uniform. Mike didn't know what was happening or if anything she was saying was for real or just another gimmick she was trying.

"Listen, Flo, I don't know what's really going on here—"

"No gimmick this time," said Flo. "Progressive has been considering replacing me for some time now. I need to prove to them that my commercials are still working by getting them more clients."

"So, you're going to suck my dick to save your job?"

"And to make sure you get quality insurance," said Flo. "It's not just a job, I'm very committed to helping people with that also."

She had her uniform off by then and was now wearing a sexy black bra and panties. Mike got a good look of how sexy her body was. He always thought Flo was an attractive woman from the commercials and always figured she had a good rack under her clothes and was glad to see that he was correct.

"So, you have no problem getting down on your knees and giving me a blowjob just to sign a new client?" asked Mike.

"It's actually very common in the commercial spokesperson trade," she answered. "You do not want to know what sick shit the Geico Gecko does to help his company."

"The Gecko? Really?"

"Seriously, don't ask," Flo warned. "So, do we have a deal or what?"

Mike had to think about it for a moment. It was a great opportunity, but the whole situation was far too unusual for him. Plus, he was already on the verge of making the decision to switch to Progressive before she showed up with her offer, so he wasn't sure if it was right for him to take advantage of her like that.

"Listen, Flo, I need to tell you—"

"I always swallow," said Flow. "Does that help?"

Mike didn't question the situation anymore and began to undo his belt and Flo got down on her knees in front of him. She helped him take off his pants faster and pulled them down along with his boxers. Mike's erection popped up in her face, nearly hitting her nose. She looked up at Mike and gave him that famous smile of hers and winked before taking his dick into her mouth.

Her lips were firmly sealed around the shaft as she bobbed her head back and forth. She began slowly, letting Mike enjoy the feeling of her mouth and tongue working its magic along the shaft. A few times in between, she slipped it out of her mouth to lick head with her tongue as she looked up at him, before putting it back into her mouth again.

Mike put his hand on the back of her head, holding some of her hair. He tried to guide her head, but soon realized that she didn't need his help as she was experienced enough to know exactly what she was doing.

She took his dick out of her mouth and started sucking on his testicles. They bounced around in her mouth while she rapidly stroked his dick with her hand. Mike was impressed with the skills she was performing. He also couldn't believe how much of a slut this sweet-hearted woman from those fun commercials actually was.

When she was done with his balls, she went back to sucking on his dick and with greater speed, letting the head bang against the back of her throat a few times. There were moments when she held it all in her mouth, gagging on it, then pulling it out of her mouth to get some air, and repeating the process again.

Mike was nearing the moment of climax and Flo sensed it. She began to slow down, getting herself ready for what was about to happen. Mike wanted the blowjob to last as long as it could and did his best to hold back. He only got a few extra minutes before his dick began to swell up hard and his cum exploded into her mouth.

When his dick got soft, Flo took his dick out of her mouth and stood up. To Mike's surprise she was dressed back into her Progressive uniform.

"How did you get dressed so fast?" asked Mike as he pulled his pants back up.

Flo made a gulping noise, indicating she had just swallowed the cum in her mouth.

"Progressive magic," she replied. "It's how we do a lot of our commercials."

Mike had just gotten an incredible blowjob from a beautiful woman so he wasn't going to question anything about what she had just said to him. She escorted him outside the house where the other Progressive actors were waiting on his lawn.

"Good news everyone, he's joining Progressive," she said to them.

The actors cheered, threw confetti everywhere and each one shook his hand. Flo suddenly had a clipboard with some papers for him to sign and he signed each one she wanted. Mike wasn't sure if just signing a few papers made him a Progressive customer, but he decided not to question it.

"Ok, everyone, time to go to the next potential customer," said Flo. "We still have three more stops today."

A white Winnebago with the Progressive sign painted on the sign showed up and they each got in. Flo and most of the actors got in, except for Jamie and Lucy stayed behind.

"She sucked your dick, didn't she?" asked Jamie with a big smile.

"What? How did you know?" asked Mike.

"It's what she does," Jamie replied.

"Everyone knows, that Flow can blow," said Lucy.

"So, is she going to do that with the next potential customer?"

"If she can't convince them any other way, the most likely she will," said Lucy.

"But the next customer is a woman, so probably not," said Jamie.

"Oh, that won't stop her," said Lucy with a big smile. "Trust me, it won't."

Jamie and Lucy got into the Winnebago with the rest of the Progressive crew and the large vehicle drove off.

Mike had no idea why all that had just happened to him. It seemed like a lot to go through just to sell one person some car insurance. He was glad he got a great blowjob out of the whole situation, so it did seem worth it to him at least. He went back into his house and called Wickman insurance to cancel his account with him.

THE END!