Southern Louisiana, May 2013
She told me she was an actress. If she hadn't, I probably would have said she should be, as a pickup line. I would have used any line I could have on this beauty, though.
It was ironic that I couldn't take my eyes off her when I saw her at the bar, yet she was the one who had the stones to approach me for a drink -- instead of slapping me for ogling. Then again, I imagine she had a lot of practice dealing with ogling men, whether she really was an actress or not.
Her blue coat, white sweater and pink skirt only hinted at what had to be...a substantial amount of goodies. But the obviously large tits, sharp curves and long, silky legs on her were just the start. Long brunette hair, eye popping lips, and perhaps the most gorgeous big blue eyes I'd ever seen were the finish.
Was this Alison Brie? I knew her blue eyes and big tits pretty well, but Community wasn't filming in Louisiana -- right? Of course not, since it hadn't even been renewed yet. Who the hell else was it? I was forgetful about things outside of pop culture, but there's no way I'd forget seeing a woman like this on screen.
When I actually listened to her and stopped looking her over, she said her name was Alexandria Daddario. I certainly would have remembered a mouthful of a name like that. Mouthful...wrong choice of words here.
She ultimately cleared up that she was from the "Percy Jackson" young adult movies, did guest stints on "White Collar" and "Parenthood" and was in "Hall Pass" and the last Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot.
Perfect -- the one time I meet an incredibly gorgeous celebrity, and she's in stuff I've never seen. Don't that beat all?
I could have searched for her on my phone, to make sure she was telling the truth. However, that would have required taking my eyes off her. A few more glances at her eyes and I knew that wasn't happening.
At the least, Alexandra added more enticing details to her story. She said she was here in Louisiana to film guest spots on HBO's next TV series "True Detective" with Matthew McConaughy and Woody Harrelson.
If I didn't know that was really filming nearby, I might have nitpicked, given how HBO hadn't been that big outside of fantasy lately -- and McConaughy's movie career had seemed too legitimate again for him to do TV.
But I chose to believe Alexandra. And I chose to believe her when she said she was filming a big scene tomorrow -- one she was very nervous to do. In fact, she said she needed help rehearsing it, and wondered if I wasn't too busy.
Stranger danger and countless porno/fanfic setups should have told me this was too good to be true. Plus she could actually be an actress who just wanted to read scenes, and nothing else. Even so, asking a stranger instead of a professional actor to 'read scenes' with her should have raised some red flags.
However, I was ruled by other 'raised' parts of me at the moment. I mean...she asked nice enough, she sounded sweet and smiled a lot, she wasn't playing the part of a spoiled, bratty actress, and...well, you try saying no to that face and that sweater!
Instead of trying, I followed her out of the bar, trying to ignore the sway of her hips -- if only for a few seconds at a time. Alexandra took me to what looked like a rental car in the parking lot, which could have poked a few holes in her claim to fame. Still, she jumped ahead and said she wasn't that big yet -- although this scene she wanted to show me might change that.
Now legitimately curious, I got in the car and let Alexandra drive me away. She said her hotel was about a half hour away, which made me think I'd crumble under the anticipation -- or just have nothing to say and make her rethink the whole thing.
Yet Alexandra kept things light during the ride, in spite of how nervous she claimed to be about this. But she backed up her earlier claims with brief stories about meeting McConaughy and Harrelson -- the latter of which was doing this big scene with her. I asked if I had to impersonate him, and my halfway decent efforts to try got her to laugh.
If she was pretending to be an actress, at least she was being a nice and sweet one. But once we were both relaxed and her eyes were on the road, I finally took my phone out to check. I said I was checking the time, but I accessed Google to check other things instead.
That's when I knew she wasn't lying. That's when I saw her IMDB resume. That's when I saw a photoshoot she did for Cosmo. That's when I really couldn't look at her for the rest of the ride -- not while I had to put my hands on my pants, anyway. That's when I felt more nervous than horny.
I was kind of composed enough by the time we arrived at the hotel, though. I let Alexandra lead me inside, to the elevator and to her room. There, she told me to sit down on the couch -- which for some reason, had a table and a lamp placed right behind it.
I sat in the middle of the couch as instructed, with the lamp right behind me. Alexandra took off her coat and then went over to her bedroom, which briefly got my hopes up. It was better than still being confused and kind of nervous, at least -- as long as I stayed under control.
Being here with a celebrity -- albeit an obscure one -- and one who happened to be insanely beautiful, might make that a problem.
However, this wasn't a porno or a smut fic. Otherwise, Alexandra would have emerged completely naked, or at least topless. Instead, she came back in holding a red jewelry box and a script. So that part of her story was true after all -- I hadn't seen "True Detective" on her IMDB page, so I still had some doubts there.
"Do I need to look at that?" I pointed to the script in her hand. "Does Woody have lines in this?"
"A few, but we don't need them for this," Alexandra told me. "I'll be doing the talking, you just have to react. I need to be comfortable with people reacting to this. That's why we're here."
"Okay...you're the actress," I conceded. Alexandra looked over the script a while longer, then put it down. The red box was still in her hands, though.
"All right. I think I'm ready," Alexandra said. "Once I start, I'm gonna need to go all the way. So no matter what, just roll with it. I promise I'll clear everything up when I'm done."
"Oh..." I got more curious and puzzled. "So that means I don't get to know what the scene's about yet?"
"You'll figure it out as we go along," Alexandra promised. "Like I said, please try to go with it. I'm sure you will by the end, but...bare with me first."
"I can try," I promised, deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Whenever you're ready."
Alexandra put the jewelry box down on the table in front of the couch, then wandered over to the kitchen. I wasn't sure if she was starting the scene yet, but I watched quietly, just in case. Soon enough, she came back with two glasses of ice in one hand, and a whiskey bottle in another.
