As I followed Linda out of the pool, I just began to think how Bizarre this relationship is getting. From the start, my goal was to gently bend and steer her the right way, to try to get her out of the flesh business. But it seems that she has morally corrupted me. Destroyed my ethics. Seared my conscience. Blinded me to distinguish what is right and wrong. Yet… I was enjoying the utter destruction of the man, that I once was. I mean, I was at a point were I was making excuses for myself. "I didn't drink. Didn't smoke. I don't do drugs. Don't gamble. My only vice, was sex." Even that, I wouldn't consider a vice, because it was with a woman I loved. The way I was going, I would be in films with her. I didn't know what to do, or who to talk to. I never thought I would be "over sexed."
"What time is the flight?" I asked
"Five. We're staying at the MGM Grand. Me and you."
She walked into the bathroom, and ran the water for a bath.
"Are you going to join me?"
"How could I say no."
I walked in behind her, and when the tub was filled, we both got in. She sat in front of me, I rubbed her breast softly and kissed her neck. I then kissed her shoulders. Her skin, was just so soft. I could hold her like this forever. I took a deep breath in, and leaned back to rest my head against the wall. She turned her body around and laid her head on my chest. I ran my hands through her hair, and then rubbed her back. This… she is what I want. She is who I love. If this is love though, true love, … why am I constantly questioning it. Why do I feel so, adulterated. Love is suppose to be pure, and unadulterated. It makes you feel good inside, you don't question it. So if I feel everything that love is not,…is this love? If I have to ask that, then it's not. The conclusion, was not what I wanted to think of. So, what do I do? Do I just go on pretending, that I am in love? I mean, I truly loved Linda, but,…I…I…can not say, that I was, In Love with her. Her personality, her beauty, her mind, her sexuality, were things that I loved. But her life, her lifestyle just overshadowed all of the great things about her. Really, what normal man would want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who was in her work. What normal man, would want to raise a family with a women like her. But when I looked at her face, her beautiful flawless face, I thought, what man would Not want to be with a woman this beautiful. Despite how I felt. Despite that I didn't think I was In Love with her…I had to give it time. I had to give her a chance to change. I just prayed that I would not change for the worse, before she changed for the better.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
She leaned up and softly grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes.
"Your almost in tears. What's wrong?"
I shook my head. She looked at me in a ver concerned look. She then leaned down and kissed me on the neck.
"Stop worrying. Things will be ok for us…I promise."
She moved her hand between my legs and rubbed on my penis. I was already hard from her laying on me. She then put me in her. She slowly moved up and down. She closed he eyes, then leaned down and kissed my face.
"I swear…things will work out." She said in low voice.
I moved my hands down and rubbed her ass. We both began kissing each other. My heart raced, my breathing got heavy. My body relaxed. She moved faster on me. I grabbed her ass hard, making her slow down. I pulled her tight to me. I brook from kissing to whisper to her I was going to cum.
"Stand up." She said.
When I did, she took my cock, wiped the bubbles off of it, then stuck it in her mouth. I grabbed her hair with both hands and pulled. I then pushed her face into my crotch. I felt I was about to cum. Some shot in her mouth, but most of it was on her face. I could not help but think how unbelievable it was, feeling wise to cum on her. I would never have Thought about doing thing like that with another woman. But…it just felt so good.
She stood up in front of me, with bubbles from the bath covering her body. She then hugged me tight. I pulled her even tighter to me, with my hands on her rear.
"I love you." I said
"I know. I know sometimes you feel that you don't. Are you, In Love with me, Jason?"
I looked at her, with a confused look.
"I know you love me. But are you, In Love with me? If you are In Love with me, you'll accept me for what I am, and what I do. You'll be patient with me, if you are In Love with me."
She paused, "Jay, are you In Love with me?"
I didn't say anything. She then walked out of the tub and dried herself off. I followed. It really bugged me, that she could sense, what I was thinking and feeling sometime. She knew what I was feeling and thinking. She knew the struggle I had in accepting her career. She knew I doubted my feelings.
I walked into the bedroom, and she was packing some things. She didn't acknowledge I was there. Which meant, she was some what upset. I took my overnight bag, and then headed down stairs. I sat on the couch and waited for Crystal and Linda. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Crystal picked up that something was wrong, with us.
"What happened Jay?"
"Nothing."
"What did you say to Linda?"
"Nothing."
"Sometimes,…that is a bad answer."
I didn't say anything to back to her.
"Jay, you know she really loves you. She really, is in love with you. If something goes wrong with what you and her have, she would become a person that you can't imagine. She would do things, that I problem would not do, and I'll do just about anything. So, whatever it is Jason, work it out. If you love her, work it out. If it's nothing on your part, just be patient with her, and she'll turn around."
"Thanks."
Tomorrow comes today
We landed in Las Vegas around six thirty. Even though Linda did speak to me, she was still cold. We got to the hotel and checked into our room. This was the first time I'd been in Vegas, and I was in awe. It was amazing. I thought New York was something, but this place was in a whole different category. Our room was on the thirtieth floor overlooking "The Strip." I stood by the window and looked at all the Neon lights, it was almost Hypnotic. I turned around and looked at Linda getting unpacked. She was totally ignoring me. I couldn't take it any more, I had to find out what was wrong with her.
"Linda, what is wrong with you?"
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me.
"Nothing."
"Linda, you have been cold as ice towards me since we left LA. That's not you. What is wrong?"
"You don't know me, how can you say how I'm acting is no me?"
I couldn't believe what I heard. I plopped down in the chair by the window and looked at her. What she said really hurt me. Like a knife was pushed into my chest.
"Linda."
"What!"
"Sit down. Sit down please."
She did so reluctantly on the side of the bed.
"What is wrong with you? Your acting like some teenager who is pissed off at her boy friend for not calling her. What is wrong? What did I say to make you so upset?"
"Nothing! You said Nothing!"
"So, why are you acting like your pissed at me?