After Linda and her…, well you know, she pretty much slept for about an hour, and we just made it on the turnpike south. I really don't get the traffic here. One day you can go in and out of the city, within ten minutes, the next day it take two hours. But, that's what makes New York, New York.
"Hey." I taped Linda on the shoulder, to wake he up.
"You want me to stop for food, you haven't ate anything today."
"Sure!" she said in a sleepy voice. "So were are we staying in Philly?"
"I'm staying at the grooms place, you're staying with at my Grandmothers."
"Why can't we stay together?"
"Well, I just didn't want my family to see that we, you know…"
"Fuck."
"Well, to put it bluntly, yes!"
"Fucking is wrong? I thought if two people loved each other, it was ok to fuck."
I looked at her and shook my head.
"You act like your ashamed that we live together, and fuck."
"I'm not ashamed, it's just that I don't want to be blatant with my life style. And could you not use that word?"
"What? Fuck? What's wrong with the word fuck? I fuck, you fuck every body likes to fuck, fuck. If our parents didn't fuck, then we wouldn't be here to fuck, I wouldn't like you fucking me."
She leaned behind her seat to look for her purse.
"All fuck. I left my fucking purse at home. Fuck! It matched my fucking outfit for tomorrow. Fuck! Were are you going to stop for some fucking food?"
I ignored her.
"Why are you fucking ignoring me? Am I making you fucking mad? It's fucking cold outside. I wonder what the fucking temperature is?"
"LINDA!"
"WHAT?"
"Stop the cursing!"
"Don't get all fucking holier than thou, on me! You're acting like you don't use the word."
"Not in everyday conversation! The only time I use that word is when,… we…"
"Fuck!"
I laughed. "Yeah! When we make love."
"Now you know, we don't make love!"
"Yes we do! It's just, we do it differently."
"We fuck!"
"Not all the time, that.."
"Fucking?"
"Yeah, that is mainly, bang, bang, bang, bang. What we do is more, bang, caress, kiss, kiss, kiss, bang, bang."
"I see, the difference." She said in a sarcastic tone of voice. "So what we did before we left, was?"
"Love."
"Sticking you dick in and out of my ass, and coming in my mouth is love?"
"Well, I mean, I didn't force you."
"You had me pinned to the floor, and you held my face in your crotch, and then made me swallow your semen."
"Am I domineering? I'm that bad?"
My heart dropped. I knew I was wrong in doing those things. My conscience was stabbing me all over. The conscience I thought was dead. My face showed how I felt. Linda looked over at me and smiled.
"I'm just fucking with you Jay. I know our love making is different from others. Our love is not ordinary. This is no ordinary love."
"Ok Sade!"
"Besides, if we did things normal, I would problem leave you."
"What about love? I thought the way I showed my love to you was different."
"It is, and one of the big part of love and relationship, is sex. My sex drive is different from anyone you know. So I need to be fucked, or made loved to, differently. So the way you express your love to me, a girl with a different sex drive is not the way you would express your love to a girl that is a good God fearing woman. She would expect, to be kissed and caressed all the time, and held. I expect that, but I want to be fucked while you kiss me and caress me."
"I disagree."
"If you married Monica, would you do the things we do?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because! She,… I wouldn't expect her too."
"So why do you do them to me? A woman,…THE, woman you love."
"I guess, because…"
"Do you expect me to suck your dick? Do you expect me, to let you cum in my mouth? Do you expect me to allow you to fuck me like you do?"
"Well…"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to make you see, that, were different. I am what I am, sexually. And you fulfill MY sexual needs, by fulfilling YOUR sexual fantasies, so we both give each other what we need and want. Fifty, fifty. And believe it or not, that's love."
"I… never looked at it that way."
"You have what it takes to make a woman in the porn industry sexually satisfied. For a guy to do that and not fuck for a living,… is a damn good accomplishment!"
Wow! I thought to myself. I, just never knew. My eyes have seen so many new things. My mind, has been opened to so many new ideas and ways. I still felt, uneasy though. I mean, hell! I was a virgin until I met her. It takes time I guess to get over the things in life, you thought was just, wrong.
I have know so many guys and girls, who have been married and yet they just don't know what the other wants sexually. Most of them, don't know How. I didn't think I would know how. But, I think from the way I saw other couples made me try harder. It made think deeper on different ways to satisfy a woman. I just never knew, that my thinking was so, deeply perverted.
"Are we perverts?" I asked.
She thought for about a minute, and said, "Yeah,… sort of… well, I don't think…Yes!"
"So, are we?"
"Like I explained before, we… just express our sexuality different. Others may see it as perverted, but if we keep it between us, no one will know."
"So if we don't discuss it with others, than we're not, because in our eyes and mind, it's love."
"Something like that."
We stopped at some rest stop half way between, NY and Philly. We ate some Roy Rogers and pretty much ate and ran.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure!"
"What the hell were you thinking of back there?"
"I was hungry, so I ordered a hamburger and chicken. What's wrong with that?"
"Not there! I'm talking about, that thing you did on the stick shift."
She shrugged her shoulders.
"What possessed you, to do something like that?"
"It disturbed you that much?"
"Pretty much."
"I'm stressed."
"Bout what?"
"I…,I'll tell you later."
"No! Tell me now! I want to know what stressed you out so much to make you stick a steel and leather stick up you!"
"Promise you won't get made at me.?"
"Linda, what?"
"I was offered a steady job."
"Really! A normal job? What's bad about that?"
"It's not really normal."
"Oh God! What is it?"
"In addition to my show, Playboy asked me to co-host night calls with Chrystal."
"Wow! Cool. You know, you and Chystal are the only women in the world I truly love?"
"Why didn't you ask Chrystal out?"
"I don't know. I mean, she is just as funny and nice and kind as you. But, I wanted to met you."
"Would you fuck her?"
I looked over at her and frowned.
"No. Unless,… No!"