Chapter 1: Gytha Cripples Onions
Author's Note: These are the stories of a young Gytha Ogg (Nanny Ogg) and her best friend Esme Weatherwax (Granny Weatherwax) alluded to in literature but never before put to words. The reader should approach them with a grain of octarine and a pinch of mirth. We shall jump into the wrinkles of time and travel some 50 years and enter a conversation mid...
"Esme, do you think whats his name will be around the Long Man tis evening?" Gytha asked with a bemused toned. They were both standing outside the Hall waiting for their menfolk to return home. "The one that looks just like Methwen when he was younger."
Her best friend Esme choked on her bread then coughed out "Gytha Ogg, do you have the decency to think of anything else? He's ten years your senior and aren't you already with whats his name? The other one." Gytha thought of this for a moment and simply raised her eyebrows, "Ah, yes... but that was nearly a fort-nite past, today is anew and fresh," Esme put her hands on her hips, "I saw him leave your house last night Miss Ogg! Don't you go telling me stories."
"Oh right, I was thinking of the other other one, don't go making me look like the bad one here Esme, remember you were to be the evil godmother but lost that race, did you not?" Gytha smirked teasingly knowing full well how competitive and touchy Esme could get at times.
"Well there's nothing wrong saying that I missed a chance to change diapers and nappies!" retorted Esme, trying hard to keep calm despite herself.
They stood silent watching each others movements, ready for any sign of weakness, until they heard the sound of hooves approaching from the distance announcing the arrival of their awaited. Redcully was handsome on his large stead and rode with the regality of one who is formally regal, and his friend Jason rode along his side.
While they were some distance away Esme heard her friend, "Phhhhhewie, do you see those two coming our way... you're a lucky lady ya know? I bet he's a great," Esme didn't let her finish, "Don't you take one more breath forward or I'll box your ears off, it ain't like that." Gytha kept her eyes on the men and responded, "Oh it ain't then? How is it?" Esme turned red in the face, "It ain't none of yours to know and you'd be wise to remember it."
Redcully rode up first, "My jewel, my lady, Miss Light in my Barn," Esme overcoming her anger shifted to another emotion and slipped out of her mind and into the horse borrowing it's motor functions as it reared up and dumped Redcully onto the ground. "I am no ones nothing Mustrum Redcully, but you may guide me to the woods for a walk, if it pleases you."
Redcully was trying to recover the use of his lungs as he laid flat on his back, when he looked up a beautiful slender woman with a pointed hat had just said he could walk her through the woods, "Yes Esme, I forget myself in your most...in your...my..." He tripped over his words not wanting to meet the horse another way. Esme waited impatiently for Redcully to stand up and he eventually did.
"Take my arm and don't be trying anything funny." She held it out for him to hold and they followed the path out to the woods of Lancre.
Jason and Gytha watched this scene in fascination, "My my, she is a stubborn one isn't she?" Gytha said to Jason but mostly to herself, "She'd know she were in love if it didn't hurt her ego." Jason waited patiently for the soliloquy to end.