It was a pleasant morning at my condo in Boston. On Friday nights I would have live music at my bar, usually a local artist looking to make it big. On this particular Friday night, I had extra money lying around and decided to splurge and get someone famous to play. I heard that the metal band Halestorm was in town and figured they would attract a whole mess of customers and bring in quite a bit of money. I was always a huge fan. Lzzy was so hot in her shoot for Revolver Magazine for their "Hottest Chicks in Metal" issue.
I found out where they were staying and drove over there through South Boston traffic. It was a nice hotel. I don't remember the name of it, but who cares? I went inside and they were sitting at a booth in the restaurant inside the hotel. I decided to approach them.
I then introduced myself, "Hey guys, I'm Sid Xavier. I'm a huge fan."
Lzzy Hale stood up, "Nice to meet you, Sid. I'm Lzzy Hale. Would you like an autograph, a picture, or both?"
I thought to myself, "Damn! Lzzy Hale's hotter in person!"
I responded, "Both would be nice, and I would like to ask you all something."
Lzzy retorted, "Okay, shoot."
I answered, "I own a bar nearby and I was wondering if you would want to play a set tonight."
Lzzy asked, "How much will you pay us?"
I answered, "How does $3,500 apiece sound with complimentary refreshments?"
Lzzy talked it over with the rest of the band. After their discussion, they responded in unison, "We'll do it!"
I said, "Excellent, your set starts at 10 so be at my bar by 9."
They agreed to the terms and I left to get ready.
Before I knew it, it was 9:55. Five minutes until showtime and everyone starts filing in. Five minutes later, the music started. Lzzy looked smokin' hot on stage. She was 25, but she looked no older than 18.
About an hour and a half later, the set was over. The band was loading up the trucks and headed back to the hotel. Lzzy invited me on stage to do a duet of Shinedown's "Shed Some Light." All the while I felt heat rising from my crotch.
I wrote the check to give to the band for their tremendous performance. It was a packed house. She was about to leave when she tripped. I went to get her up on her feet when she stared blankly at my bulge. She was amazed.
She then said, "Oh my god, that thing is huge. Can I touch it?"