It was Tuesday, February 15
th
. Valentine's Day had passed just the day before, and there were no love spells to bring chaos to the holiday, like we had back in 1998. Buffy and I spent most of the day in bed, moaning and gasping as we each did yummy things to the other with our lips, teeth, tongues and fingers. I was filled with so much post-orgasmic bliss, I almost didn't want to get out of bed the next day.
The thing is, when you're a college student you really should go to class. College tuition is very expensive, so if you skip a lecture, or miss a class, it's like throwing money away.
Also, Tara had been telling me about a great professor who taught a course in comparative religion. From what Tara told me, Professor Ward gave lectures that were riveting and thought-provoking. I decided to register for her class and see if she really lived up to the hype.
So, it was Tuesday morning around 9:00, and I was just outside the Admissions and Records Office, when I saw her.
Professor Walsh.
From what I'd been told, Professor Walsh had been arrested for murdering some scientists at Cal Tech. She was supposed to be in prison right now. What was she doing on the UC Sunnydale campus? I quietly snuck closer, and tried to spy on her.
"You shouldn't even be here," Professor Arenholz snapped accusingly at Professor Walsh, "You no longer work here. All your classes have been reassigned, and your parking privileges revoked. Since your arrest, you're no longer welcome here, and if Dean Guerrero sees you here, he's going to call the police."
Professor Arenholz was somewhere between thirty and forty years old, and was going prematurely grey, but she was as scrappy and energetic as a teenager. She was also about three inches taller than Professor Walsh, so she was trying to use her superior height to intimidate the Professor Walsh. It didn't seem to be working.
Professor Arenholz spoke sharply and admonishingly, and gestured wildly with her hands, but Professor Walsh wasn't backing down. It didn't take long for a crowd to form, and soon dozens of students had gathered to watch the spectacle.
"I didn't come back to teach, and I didn't come back to take anybody's parking space," Professor Walsh retorted, "I'm just here to pick up a package. It was sent to the University, and addressed to me, so I have a legal right to it. Now, if you get out of my face, I'll grab it, and go. You'll never see me again."
"Oh, you'll go
now,"
Professor Arenholz said imperiously, poking Maggie Walsh roughly with her index finger.
Professor Walsh bared her teeth angrily at the taller woman and suddenly Professor Arenholz was on her knees. Walsh had grabbed Professor Arenholz's finger and twisted it painfully, until Arenholz was whimpering and gasping in pain.
"Listen to me, you arrogant harridan," Professor Walsh spat, "I don't take orders from you, and if you
ever
lay a finger on me again, I'll break every finger you've got, on both hands!
Understand?"
That was when the campus police showed up. Three uniformed campus security guards pushed their way through the crowd of students, and the tallest one grabbed Professor Walsh by the wrist, and said,
"That's enough!
You're assaulting one of our teachers, and that stops now!"
Professor Walsh released her grip on the other woman's finger, and turned to face to the security guards. I let out a sigh of relief, as I thought this meant the situation was now going to deescalate.
"We have orders to escort you off of school property," the tallest of the security guards said, "And if Professor Arenholz wants to file assault charges against, you, we'll notify the Sunnydale Police, and assist them by making sure you don't flee the scene, or resist arrest."
"
Of course,
I want to file assault charges," Professor Arenholz snapped, holding her wounded finger, and still kneeling on the ground, "
She broke my finger!"
"Don't be such a crybaby," Professor Walsh retorted, "it's only a sprain."
"Ma'am, that's enough," snapped another security guard, and tried to grab Professor Walsh by the arm, but suddenly she was a blur of motion.
She hit the man that was holding her wrist in the solar plexus, causing him to double over and cry out in pain. Next, she spun around and kicked another security guard in the balls. The third security guard pulled a container of pepper-spray from his duty-belt and aimed it at Professor Walsh's face, but before he could spray her with it, Professor Walsh smashed her foot into his face with an impressive side kick that hit him so hard, he dropped his pepper spray and collapsed to the ground.
The guard that had been kicked in balls pulled his handgun out of his holster and yelled,
"Freeze,"
as he took aim at professor Walsh. Meanwhile, the tall one got on his two-way radio and called for backup.
Instead of complying with his orders, Professor Walsh proceeded to do a triple-forward flip, closed the distance between herself and the security guard and maneuvered behind him, so that she could get him in a choke hold.
"You really think you can arrest me?" Professor Walsh inquired as the security guard's face turned a dark red color, and he struggled to breath.
"Let him go,"
bellowed the tall security guard, and he drew his own handgun, and pointed it at Professor Walsh's head.
What happened next seems impossible, but I was there. I saw it with my own eyes.
Professor Walsh released her grip on the man's throat, but she grabbed him by the waist and somehow managed to throw him a distance of approximately ten feet, so that he crashed into his fellow security guard with enough force to knock them both over, in an explosive tangle of arms and legs.
It would seem impossible that a woman Maggie Walsh's age would even be able to
pick up
a man full grown man (especially a burly one that's wearing about twenty-five pounds of police gear), but she picked him up and
threw him,
and she did it with such speed and agility
, it was almost too quick for the eye to follow. The tall security guard didn't even have any time to react!