It was Tuesday, February 15
th
. Valentine's Day had passed just the day before, and there were no love spells to bring chaos to the holiday, like we had back in 1998. Buffy and I spent most of the day in bed, moaning and gasping as we each did yummy things to the other with our lips, teeth, tongues and fingers. I was filled with so much post-orgasmic bliss, I almost didn't want to get out of bed the next day.
The thing is, when you're a college student you really should go to class. College tuition is very expensive, so if you skip a lecture, or miss a class, it's like throwing money away.
Also, Tara had been telling me about a great professor who taught a course in comparative religion. From what Tara told me, Professor Ward gave lectures that were riveting and thought-provoking. I decided to register for her class and see if she really lived up to the hype.
So, it was Tuesday morning around 9:00, and I was just outside the Admissions and Records Office, when I saw her.
Professor Walsh.
From what I'd been told, Professor Walsh had been arrested for murdering some scientists at Cal Tech. She was supposed to be in prison right now. What was she doing on the UC Sunnydale campus? I quietly snuck closer, and tried to spy on her.
"You shouldn't even be here," Professor Arenholz snapped accusingly at Professor Walsh, "You no longer work here. All your classes have been reassigned, and your parking privileges revoked. Since your arrest, you're no longer welcome here, and if Dean Guerrero sees you here, he's going to call the police."
Professor Arenholz was somewhere between thirty and forty years old, and was going prematurely grey, but she was as scrappy and energetic as a teenager. She was also about three inches taller than Professor Walsh, so she was trying to use her superior height to intimidate the Professor Walsh. It didn't seem to be working.
Professor Arenholz spoke sharply and admonishingly, and gestured wildly with her hands, but Professor Walsh wasn't backing down. It didn't take long for a crowd to form, and soon dozens of students had gathered to watch the spectacle.
"I didn't come back to teach, and I didn't come back to take anybody's parking space," Professor Walsh retorted, "I'm just here to pick up a package. It was sent to the University, and addressed to me, so I have a legal right to it. Now, if you get out of my face, I'll grab it, and go. You'll never see me again."
"Oh, you'll go
now,"
Professor Arenholz said imperiously, poking Maggie Walsh roughly with her index finger.
Professor Walsh bared her teeth angrily at the taller woman and suddenly Professor Arenholz was on her knees. Walsh had grabbed Professor Arenholz's finger and twisted it painfully, until Arenholz was whimpering and gasping in pain.
"Listen to me, you arrogant harridan," Professor Walsh spat, "I don't take orders from you, and if you
ever
lay a finger on me again, I'll break every finger you've got, on both hands!
Understand?"
That was when the campus police showed up. Three uniformed campus security guards pushed their way through the crowd of students, and the tallest one grabbed Professor Walsh by the wrist, and said,
"That's enough!
You're assaulting one of our teachers, and that stops now!"
Professor Walsh released her grip on the other woman's finger, and turned to face to the security guards. I let out a sigh of relief, as I thought this meant the situation was now going to deescalate.
"We have orders to escort you off of school property," the tallest of the security guards said, "And if Professor Arenholz wants to file assault charges against, you, we'll notify the Sunnydale Police, and assist them by making sure you don't flee the scene, or resist arrest."
"
Of course,
I want to file assault charges," Professor Arenholz snapped, holding her wounded finger, and still kneeling on the ground, "
She broke my finger!"
"Don't be such a crybaby," Professor Walsh retorted, "it's only a sprain."
"Ma'am, that's enough," snapped another security guard, and tried to grab Professor Walsh by the arm, but suddenly she was a blur of motion.
She hit the man that was holding her wrist in the solar plexus, causing him to double over and cry out in pain. Next, she spun around and kicked another security guard in the balls. The third security guard pulled a container of pepper-spray from his duty-belt and aimed it at Professor Walsh's face, but before he could spray her with it, Professor Walsh smashed her foot into his face with an impressive side kick that hit him so hard, he dropped his pepper spray and collapsed to the ground.
The guard that had been kicked in balls pulled his handgun out of his holster and yelled,
"Freeze,"
as he took aim at professor Walsh. Meanwhile, the tall one got on his two-way radio and called for backup.
Instead of complying with his orders, Professor Walsh proceeded to do a triple-forward flip, closed the distance between herself and the security guard and maneuvered behind him, so that she could get him in a choke hold.
"You really think you can arrest me?" Professor Walsh inquired as the security guard's face turned a dark red color, and he struggled to breath.
"Let him go,"
bellowed the tall security guard, and he drew his own handgun, and pointed it at Professor Walsh's head.
What happened next seems impossible, but I was there. I saw it with my own eyes.
Professor Walsh released her grip on the man's throat, but she grabbed him by the waist and somehow managed to throw him a distance of approximately ten feet, so that he crashed into his fellow security guard with enough force to knock them both over, in an explosive tangle of arms and legs.
It would seem impossible that a woman Maggie Walsh's age would even be able to
pick up
a man full grown man (especially a burly one that's wearing about twenty-five pounds of police gear), but she picked him up and
threw him,
and she did it with such speed and agility
, it was almost too quick for the eye to follow. The tall security guard didn't even have any time to react!
After that, Professor Walsh kicked one of the security guards in the face, and then she pushed her way through a thick group of students and disappeared into the crowd. According to her books, Maggie Walsh is fifty years old, and spent her entire life as an academic, but the woman I just saw beat the crap out of three fully-grown men with the speed, strength and skill of a highly-trained athlete, in peak training condition!
What the hell was going on?
* * * * * * * * * *
The backup that the tall campus security guard had called for got there too late to stop Professor Walsh from fleeing the scene. However, they did insist that about thirty students, Professor Arenholz and I stick around to give eye-witness testimony.
At first, I was taken into a room, and told to give my testimony to a campus security guard, but about an hour later, four FBI agents showed up, and started questioning the witnesses all over again.
The whole thing took
hours,
I ended up wasting the entire morning answering questions about what I saw.
The only good thing about the entire affair was that the FBI agent who questioned me was surprisingly attractive. She was a slender redhead, dressed very dapper in corporate-wear that flattered her figure, while still making her look serious and authoritative. I'm assuming she was concealing a handgun somewhere in her clothes, but her blazer was tailored so well that I couldn't tell where her gun was located.
"Ms. Rosenberg," the FBI agent said at the onset of our meeting, "I'm Special Agent Dana Scully with the FBI, and I'm here to ask you some questions about what happened on campus today."
So, I told her everything about what I saw outside the Admissions and Records Office. Agent Scully seemed to be pretty dubious about my eye-witness testimony.
"And you're certain that this was Professor Walsh that you saw, today?" Agent Scully asked, skepticism practically dripped from her every word.
"I'm sure it was her," I responded readily, "I used to be one of her students. I was in her Introduction to Psych class. I know her face, I know her voice. I'd recognize her anywhere."
Agent Scully seemed to be utterly unimpressed with my answer and said, "So, your position is that a woman in her early-fifties brutally assaulted three campus security guards, and a teacher, and despite the fact that all four of these people were younger and larger than she was, she dispatched them all quickly, efficiently, and with her bare hands?"
I made an exasperated sound, and then replied, "Look, I know how ridiculous it sounds, but, I also know what I saw! I wouldn't have thought that Professor Walsh could've beat up even
one
of those people, not even Professor Arenholz, but somehow, she pulled it off!
I was standing right there when it happened!"
Again, Agent Scully gave me her "not impressed" look, and then replied, "Ms. Rosenberg, approximately thirty minutes ago, the FBI contacted the warden at the Chino Correctional Institution for Women. According to the warden at the CCIW, Margaret Walsh is still incarcerated there. She hasn't escaped. Her whereabouts have been accounted for all day today, all day yesterday, and all last week."
And then, after a fairly dramatic pause, she said, "So, I'm curious, if Margaret Walsh was locked up in a cell at the Chino Correctional Institution for Women this morning, how could she also be here on your campus this morning, assaulting four people?"
Agent Scully spent at least another hour, trying to break me, and get me to recant my testimony, but I know what I saw, and I stuck with it.
I toyed with the idea that the Maggie Walsh I saw on campus might be a skinwalker. Buffy and I had run into a skinwalker about two months earlier. They were strong and fast, and could shapeshift to look like anyone. They could even imitate voices perfectly. I resolved to bring up this idea with Buffy and Giles, as soon as I could get away from the inquisitive FBI agent.
Of course, I couldn't tell Agent Scully about my skinwalker theory. Can you imagine an FBI agent believing in something supernatural like that? Hah! That'll never happen! FBI agents are too conservative and inflexible in their thinking. They'd never be willing to entertain the idea that paranormal creatures like skinwalkers and vampires might exist.