My Girlfriend Is a Vampire

Disclaimer

: I do not own the legal rights to Lara Raith. Lara Raith is a character that was created by Jim Butcher for his stories about a fictional private investigator/wizard named Harry Dresden. I am merely borrowing Lara for a short time to bring a little fan-fiction entertainment to your lives.

*****

I left Susan Asher's apartment building and walked about half a block, to where I had parked my car. I was feeling rather pleased with myself. I had made a believer out of Susan Asher, and a bold, extroverted woman like Susan would spread the word and make more believers.

My legend was growing, and Chicago was a large city with over two million people in residence. Such a densely populated city was rife with potential for recruiting mortals to worship me.

I was in such high spirits that I failed to notice the disturbance in the parking lot just a few yards away. At least I failed to notice it, until

after

the ear-splitting cries for help pierced the air, and drew my attention.

"Help,"

a woman's voice called out, "

Help please!!"

The woman had a set of lungs on her. I would have needed to be deaf to not hear her screams. I ventured into the direction of the sound of her voice to investigate what could cause such a clamor.

Even when I got closer, the woman with the powerful lungs was still obscured from my sight, however the cause of her panic was obvious.

Two very menacing females seemed intent on dragging the panicky woman out from underneath a parked vehicle. And the malicious expressions on these women's faces wasn't the most disturbing thing about them.

Both of the women were barefoot, and they were lacking in human feet. Their feet strongly resembled eagle's talons. A moment's observation revealed that they also had something very similar to eagle's talons where their hands should be.

They also had sharp, spikey-looking feathers growing out of their scalp instead of hair, and impressively huge wings growing out of their backs.

One of the women crouched low and held her hands/talons at the ready, eager to snatch her cornered victim if it attempted to bolt. The other birdlike antagonist smashed out all the vehicle's headlights, scratched deep gouges in the car's paintjob and tore off one of the rearview mirrors. She seemed to be intent on making as much noise as possible while she attacked the car.

I immediately recognized this as predator behavior. The one bird-lady made as much of a disturbing, strident clamor as possible, trying to induce panic in her prey. The other bird-lady was set to pounce on the prey the instant it panicked enough that it abandoned it's hiding place and tried to run.

Neither of the predatory females had noticed me yet, and there was a section of my brain that was urgently reminding me that I could leave at any time and the malicious women would never even know that I was there. I could go back to living my normal life without these creepy women molesting me in any way.

However, there was

another

section of my brain what was pointing out just as urgently that that woman underneath the car desperately needed my help.

During the centuries that I had passed myself off as human, I had worked very hard at steering clear of wars, revolutions, witch trials, pogroms, riots and avoiding conflict in general. I had gotten so experienced at it, that it was reflexive. I could do it very well, without expending any real effort.

Which is why I surprised myself greatly when I took three steps forward, and bellowed,

"Did somebody here call for my help?"

Both of the bird women turned to face me and gave me a malevolent look. The one closest to me pulled her lips back, revealing greyish gums and unnaturally sharp teeth. While they were doing this, the woman underneath the car pleaded for my assistance once again.

"Have a care foolish mortal," the one with the sharp teeth advised, "We are not currently concerned with you. It would be in your best interest if things remained that way."

I was outnumbered two to one, and I was unarmed. The practical thing to do would have been to take up the bird-woman on her offer, however my mouth seemed to be forming words without checking with my brain first.

"I'm no mortal," I replied, "I've been around for centuries. I was there at the Battle of Milvian Bridge. And I'm the guardian of this city. And you can't come into Chicago and start hunting my people like hunting rabbits in the brush. I am dauntless in the protection of my people."

I had no idea where those words came from. I had never considered myself the guardian of Chicago before. I had never before considered it my responsibility to protect the people of this city, and yet, after the words fell from my lips, I actually thought they sounded impressive and praiseworthy.

"This girl is

not

one of your people," said the bird-woman that had been vandalizing the car, "We tried to abduct her in Memphis, however

someone

warned her that we were coming, and she fled from us. If not for that warning, we would have captured her days ago, and she would never have set foot in your territory."

When the bird-woman said the word "

someone",

she said it with such vehemence that it sounded like a toxic profanity. I guessed that whoever warned their quarry that the bird-women were coming, they had probably died a very painful death by now.

The two predatory women glared at me as I faced them down. The woman hiding underneath the car may not have been a resident of Chicago, however, her feet had touched Chicago soil and she had called out for my help. I made up my mind that that was enough for me to claim her as one of my own. I was about to explain my decision to the two predatory bird-women when I felt an explosion of white-hot pain in my chest.

"Aaaaauughhhhhhh,"

I exclaimed in sudden, blinding agony.

I had never known excruciating pain like this before. It was a new and unwelcome sort of suffering. And when I opened my eyes and looked down, I saw the tip of a blood-soaked sword sticking out of my chest.

They stuck a sword in me!

I had lived through the fall of the Roman Empire, the ignorant violence of the Dark Ages, the Crusades, the Inquisition and dozens of European wars and in all those centuries,

not once

had anyone ever stabbed me with a sword.

I didn't care for it.

I had been stabbed from behind, thus I couldn't see the face of my attacker, however I assumed it was an ally of the predatory women in front of me. Seriously,

who else

would have had a motive for stabbing me?

"Excellent work, Pallas," said the bird-woman with the sharp teeth.

"She won't be bothering you anymore," said the voice of the woman who stabbed me, and then I felt the sword being yanked out of my ribcage.

Much to my shock, the sword hurt even worse coming out, than it did going in. I felt an explosion of agony run through my body and I very nearly lost consciousness.

I made an inarticulate sound and collapsed to my knees. The sudden and excruciating pain had overloaded my nervous system. For a few seconds it seemed that I couldn't move. I tried to say something defiant and resentful but ended up coughing up a disturbingly large amount of blood instead.

"Can the two of you capture one little girl?" the woman who had stabbed me inquired, "Or do you need my assistance for that as well?"

"Shut up, Pallas," said the one who was destroying the car, and then she sank her claws deep into the hood of the car and attempted to rip it from the car's frame. She was denting the hood and warping the shape of the metal but seemed to have trouble tearing it away from the car. The woman underneath the car heard metal being torn and crumpled and she screamed once again.

And while the bird-women traded sullen verbal barbs with each other, the pain of being stabbed rapidly faded. My body healed from the stab wound far more rapidly than I would have thought possible, and the pain ebbed until it had completely disappeared.

I realized that this was a benefit of being worshipped by humans once again. Their belief in me made me stronger and allowed me to heal from a massive stab wound in a matter of seconds. I felt like a goddess, once again. I felt invincible and unstoppable.

I got down on my hands and knees and swung my right leg around behind me. I put a lot of force behind that swing, but I swung blind. I was so intent on attacking before they realized I had recovered from being stabbed, that I didn't take the time to look behind me and aim my attack.

However, luck was with me that day, and I heard a loud

"crunch"

sound as my foot connected with something solid. Then there was an inarticulate scream of pain that made me smile.

I turned around and saw another bird-woman on the ground behind me. She had dropped her sword and her right leg was twisted at an odd angle, as if she had dislocated her knee.

As if

I

had dislocated her knee.

The thought that I had dislocated her knee made me smile. Getting stabbed through the chest was the most excruciatingly painful thing that had ever happened to me. This bitch deserved any sort of pain I could dish out to her.

Her face was twisted into a mask of pain and anger as she inched forward and tried to grab her sword from where it lay on the ground. I quickly decided that it would be a bad idea for her to ever get her hands on the sword again, so I kicked her in the face.

Blood spurted from her nose and she made an enraged hissing noise at me. I tried to kick her again, however she scrabbled backwards, out of range.

"Impertinent meddler," the bird-woman snapped at me, "You will pay for your trespasses into my affairs!"

When she backpaddled away from me, I made an attempt to grab her sword, however the other two bird-women snuck up behind me and grabbed me with their talonlike hands and pulled me back.

"What's the matter, Pallas," asked the bird-woman clutching my left arm, "Can't you kill one little girl without help?"

"You're an useless wastrel, Fonias," Pallas said sharply, "After I disembowel this interloper, I fully intend to-"

The one called Pallas painfully forced her kneecap back into place, staggered over on unsteady legs and attempted to grab her sword up off the ground, however, when she was close enough, I spun around in a violent attempt to throw off both of the women who were holding onto me. They held on tenaciously, however I was stronger than they were, I threw them both off balance and spun hard enough to smash the one called Fonias into Pallas. They both went down in a tumble of arms and legs, and the last bird-woman tore the sleeve off my shirt as I shook her loose.

For a few seconds, the third bird-woman and I were the only ones standing. We both eyed the sword on the ground, and knew that whoever managed to grab it would have a strategic advantage.

We both moved with impressive speed. I darted forward like a Black Mamba and my hand struck out with blurring speed, however the bird-woman moved about a half-second faster. She grabbed the sword in her talonlike hand, lifted her prize off the ground and quickly took two graceful steps backwards.

"Hah,"

the bird-woman exclaimed mockingly, as she held up her prize. Now that she had grabbed the only weapon on the battlefield, she seemed intent to mock me with her victory.

I didn't have a lot of experience with combat, but it seemed to me that when you had the advantage, you shouldn't waste time gloating about it. You should continue attacking your opponent.

I took advantage of my opponent's mistake and drove my foot into her solar plexus with a powerful roundhouse kick. It took her utterly by surprise and she went sailing through the air.

I hadn't expected that.

I was much stronger now that I had worshippers. My foot smashed into my opponent with the force of a cannonball. It knocked her off her feet and sent her careening through the air until she smashed into a parked car.

There was a loud crash as the back of her skull smashed the windshield. The impact must have taken a lot out of her, and she was too stunned to move at first. I decided to take advantage of her inactivity and rushed forward.

I pulled the sword out of her unresisting talon and she just groaned. She didn't even open her eyes. I considered shoving the sword into her unmoving form when I felt a sharp, sudden pain in my wrist.

The one named Pallas had sunk her talons painfully deep into my wrist and had an ironlike grip. I couldn't stab her as she was holding my sword-arm and breaking her hold would take a great deal of effort. So, I decided to punch her in the face instead.

Pallas had better combat skills than her compatriot, and when I tried to punch her in the face, she used her other talonlike hand to block me.

She had quick reflexes and she was strong. I considered headbutting her. It was an unorthodox move, and she probably wouldn't be expecting it. Also, I had already broken her nose, so if I bashed it again, it would hurt like hell.

Then, the bitch surprised me by unfurling those massive wings of hers and flapping them. We were airborne almost instantly and I looked down in horror as the parking lot became smaller and smaller.

"We're in

my

element now, meddler," Pallas proclaimed arrogantly, "What good is a sword going to do you up here?"

Within seconds Pallas had taken us to an altitude of two-hundred feet or more. If I killed her now, we'd both die. I couldn't survive a fall from this height and Pallas knew it. She had me in a bind, and I saw no way of escaping.

"So, those are your people down below us?" Pallas asked mockingly, "And if I drop you, what will your people do to save you? Will they catch you before you hit the ground?"

I just glared at her. I didn't have a ready retort for that one.

I looked into Pallas's cold, merciless eyes and I knew then that she was going to drop me. I was almost certain that I couldn't survive a fall from this height and my mind raced, looking for something bitter and defiant to say before I died. I wanted my last words to be impassioned, poetic and memorable. I wanted to hurl words of stinging-sharp recrimination that would twist in her guts like a knife and haunt her until the day she died.

"Hag,"

I screamed furiously at her, and immediately felt deeply disappointed in myself. Were those really going to be my last words? Was that really the best I could come up with? Those were

horrible

last words! I wanted a do-over.

And then the inevitable happened. The bitch dropped me.

Gravity took hold and I felt the disturbing and disorienting sensation of freefall. The ground was coming up to meet me at a distressing rate of speed and it looked

really

solid. My heart pounded urgently in my chest and I felt a spike of adrenaline hit my bloodstream, shocking every nerve ending into hyperawareness.

I screamed inarticulately, knowing that the sudden and violent impact with the ground was going to hurt far worse than getting stabbed with a sword. I screamed a long and ragged scream, making my throat mightily sore in the process.

Then, there was a strange and unexpected pain between my shoulder blades accompanied by a ripping sound.

The pain between my shoulder blades intensified, and then the ground suddenly wasn't getting closer anymore.

"Holy fucking fuck," I swore softly and realized I was hovering. I clenched my teeth, tightened my abdominal muscles and then saw that I was gaining altitude.

I could feel nerve endings in extremities that I never had before. There were bones and muscles growing out of my back that I could put into motion, just like I did with my arms and legs.

Wings.

I had

wings

growing out of my back! And they worked!!

I was flying!!

Obviously, this wasn't normal. I had never had wings before, and I wasn't certain as to why I had them now, however, they had saved my life. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I was going to use them, and hopefully they could

continue

to keep me alive.

I swooped down and glided down near the surface of the earth. I realized I had no idea how to land gracefully and was almost certain that I was going to have to crash. Rather than avoid the inevitable, I decided to make my crash-landing work for me by crashing into one of the bird-women that were still in the parking lot.

I wasn't the only one surprised by the fact that I had sprouted wings and learned to fly. The bird-women were surprised by this development as well. One of them saw me approaching as I sped towards her, however, she was too shocked to react.

I hurled towards her like a bowling ball shooting towards a group of bowling pins. Her mouth dropped open in shock as I rapidly advanced upon her, and when my body smashed into hers, she went down just like a group of unsuspecting weeds hit by a weed-wacker.

My face broke into a wide grin as I savored the blunt force impact that I used to knock down my opponent. I had hit her like a battering ram and bowled her over. For the moment she was too stunned to get back up, and I was one my feet and ready for combat.

I almost got hit by a high-speed attack myself. Pallas came hurtling out of the sky in a trajectory very much like the one I had just used to knock down her compatriot. She was coming in feet first, like a baseball player sliding into home plate, her feet talons extended outwards, and at high speeds those talons would likely tear me to ribbons.

Rather than attempt to dodge her attack, I waited until the last possible second and met Pallas's hurtling charge with a forward lunge with my sword. I wasn't very experienced with swords; however, I was very strong, coordinated and timed my attack just right. And when I swung my weapon at my birdlike opponent, I sliced into the flesh of her leg, cleaving it off somewhere just above the knee.

Pallas let out a blood-curdling scream that hit my eardrums like the howl of a dozen banshees. There was an explosion of blood as her leg was separated from the rest of her body and she hit the ground, writhing in pain.

I think I might have sliced through her femoral artery when I cut off Pallas's leg. We were both drenched in her blood and her leg continued to spurt thick, red liquid. She thrashed around in agony and her screams resounded and bounced off the walls of nearby buildings for a few seconds, however the life ebbed out of her quickly and within seconds she was dead.

"I told you,"

I said defiantly to Pallas's corpse,

"you can't come to my city and hunt my people!"

The bird woman that I had hit with a flying battering-ram attack attempted to sit up and claw me with her talonlike hands. I swung my sword with both hands and cut her hand off at the wrist. Once again there was screaming, but this time I cut it short by swinging my sword again and slicing deep into her throat.

I was covered with blood at this point, but my heart was pounding like mad and I was filled with adrenaline. I sprinted across the parking lot and found the last of the bird-women.

As I ran towards her, I observed that she wasn't running. She was just standing there, seemingly unconcerned as I rushed towards her with a blood-stained sword in my hand. I had a few seconds to judge her behavior as odd, however I wasn't really concerned. If she just stood there and didn't move, it would make it much easier for me to stab her.

Then, the bitch shot me.

She had been hiding a speargun behind her back the entire time I had been running towards her. When I got close enough she shot me in the leg. A long, thin metal projectile lodged in my thigh and I tumbled to the ground as my right leg suddenly became paralyzed with pain and stopped working.