I still couldnât get over the fact I was sitting in the lobby of the Peachtree Westin hotel waiting for Miko Lee to come down and join me for dinner. I was nervous as hell waiting for her to come down. Here I was, just a normal guy, waiting on a gorgeous woman to join me. It was amazing enough with her being amazingly gorgeous but she was a world famous porn actress on top of it all.
So how does an average Joe get the chance to have dinner with a porn star? Be a loyal listener to the Regular Guys morning show on WKLS 96 rock. Once or twice a month, they would have a porn star visit there morning show to give some fluff interview about why they were in town promoting some video or convention. The interviews werenât anything of intellect. These were porn stars, not rocket scientist. I love porn and think the women in them are some of the most gorgeous on the planet but letâs fact it, we watch them for the fucking and not the acting. So usually when the interviews would be conducted, I would switch the station.
I heard Miko Lee would be appearing on the show but at a time when I would be at work and could not listen. I called work, saying I was going to be late because I wasnât feeling well and wanting to try to squeeze in a doctorâs visit. There was no way I was going to miss her even if it were just an interview.
I was expecting nothing but ditziness from her. She was a porn star but at least I could hear what she sounded like. You sometimes wonder what a person sounds like and you wonder if the voice matches the face. In my mind, her voice was like a song and when she spoke it was very clear and elegant.
Turns out Miko was in town to promote a book she had written about her life in the porn industry. The book, she said, wasnât ghost written either. This got a laugh out of both of the Regular Guys. She sounded very intelligent and capable of writing a book. She didnât come off as a ditz. Some of the crude questions as by the DJ seemed to put her off. She started getting really short with her answers as the questions got raunchier and raunchier. She utterly refused to take her top off and threatened to storm out if the guys didnât tone it down.
I think that really took Larry and Erich by surprise because both of them shut up the comedy act. They both became really polite to Miko through the rest of the interview. I really think that was the only way to get her to agree to the contest they wanted to have. They wanted to treat one of their listeners to dinner with a porn star. She agreed without a momentâs hesitation.
At this time, I am screaming at the radio for details on how to win the contest. Larry sends the show to a commercial. I want to pull my hair out. I have to sit through four minutes of car, beer, and sports commercials, the whole time wondering about how I would spend dinner with Miko Lee.
Coming back from commercial, it turns out all I have to do is be the 96th caller to the station to win. Of course I canât find my phone as he announces that, so I go scrambling around the house looking for the cordless. I never use the phone so it shouldnât be off the base but the one time I need it, itâs gone. Talk about Murphyâs Law.
With Led Zeppelinâs âCustard Pieâ blaring in the background, I go running room to room looking for my phone. It doesnât dawn on me to hit the page button on the receiver base until I have turned the living room upside down. Turns out the phone was on the kitchen table buried under a pile of bills. (The phone bill was the one covering that, how ironic.)
My heart was pounding as I punched the buttons on the face of the phone. I donât know why I was getting excited. I knew I had almost no chance in hell to win. There were probably 10,000 other men with the phone in one hand and their dicks in the other trying to get in on two lines. I thought I would try a few times and give up. I could always just put in a copy of one of her movies and jerk off later in the day, probably before work.
The first time I dialed, I got a busy signal. I was tempted to just say fuck it and hang up the phone but I decided to try just one more time. The second time I dialed, the phone on the other end started to ring. I actually started doing a little jig in my kitchen. Then I stopped. I didnât need to get excited because I would probably have someone call saying that I was caller sixty-nine or something. The phone rang and rang for what seemed like an eternity. âBrain Damageâ by Pink Floyd was playing on the radio right now. I was thinking I would have a better chance of seeing the dark side of the moon than I would winning this contest.
As I was finishing my thought, someone picked up the phone. I was ready to accept that fact that I wasnât caller ninety-six when the voice on the other end said, âYou are caller 96. Who do we have here?â I was the right caller. I couldnât believe it. I wanted to pinch myself.
âHello is anyone there?â the voice asked. I had better say something before Miko slipped through my fingers.