I am literally living my dream life! After auditioning for years on end, I've finally landed my first movie. That too opposite my childhood crush. When the director called me to congratulate me, I almost passed out. I couldn't believe it. Not only did my lifelong dream of becoming an actress come true, but I would also get to romance my childhood crush in my very first movie!
As a thirteen-year-old, I could've sworn I was in love with him when I first saw him, but of course, I kept pretending like I didn't care about him in front of my equally fanatic friends. I wanted to seem like I was different unlike all the other girls in my class who simped over the new lover-boy in B-town.
Over time, even as everyone else slowly began to forget about him, I still simped hard. I even binged on his older movies. He really had come a long way from playing supporting roles to his first lead. I've always thought we would relate a lot. I loved him in every shape and form and I loved every part of him. The more interviews I watched of him, the closer I felt to him. Girls my age started simping over him once again when his new movie came out and he had the sexiest body ever, but I never got over him.
Eight years later, I'm 21, and my feelings for him remain the same. Therefore, this. Is. HUGE. For. Me!
I still remember the day when I first met him. I was quite nervous! Our producer threw a party for everyone to break the ice and bond. I'd heard he was quite friendly and grounded, but I was still anxious as to whether he would like me or not.
He was looking handsome as ever in a casual white shirt and jeans. He was always effortless like that. Even at 36, he looked 25. As soon as he saw me, he invited me to the group he was standing with and made me feel welcome and included. I never once felt like a newbie around him.
Then when the shooting started, it didn't take too long for us to become very close. We would call each other late at night. Mostly I called him to ask tons of questions regarding acting, reading the script, taking direction, and being on the film set. I secretly wish we had more romantic scenes together because when I look into his eyes, my knees feel like Jello-O and I get these butterflies in my stomach. However, given our 15-year age gap, the script only called for one very quick kiss, and that too all the way at the end during the film's climax.
During shooting, I flubbed my lines constantly because I was too busy admiring him. I wanted to believe that we were in love for real, even if it was just in fiction.
I don't know if it's just my bias, but there were instances where I felt like there was more between us - like he also felt attracted to me. For instance, we went to Spain to shoot the second act of the movie, and I remember that we had a scene at the beach. In between takes, we were both chilling on beach chairs. I was wearing a white bikini. It was quite revealing, as bikinis are; mine had cheeky bottoms, and the bikini top was just a bandeau with a large ring in the middle holding the cups together. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I still think I saw him watching me from the corner of my eyes. Whenever I turned to him, he simply smiled and looked toward the sea.
He took the most amount of takes during that scene even though all he had to do was watch me come out of the water and walk over to him and say one dialogue to me. Every time I came out and walked toward him, he simply gawked and missed his cue. We must have done a dozen takes or so just for that one little scene, even though he could nail longer and more difficult scenes in just one.
Later, when we packed up, he came up to me and asked, "Have you been working out lately? You're looking quite fit, huh?"
"Um, I mean not much. Just toning and stuff, but look at yourself. You've worked quite hard for that beach body. Girls are going to go crazy about you again."
He simply chuckled and said, "It doesn't feel so bad, I'll admit. Hey, do you want to have dinner together again?"
"Sure! Do you even have to ask?"
Throughout dinner, I noticed that his eyes kept bouncing from my eyes, to my neck, to my deep neckline that flaunted my cleavage. I didn't have the world's largest breasts by any stretch, but they were big enough to spill out of deep-cut dresses. I felt heat crawling up my neck - and also building up down there - but I looked away from his curious eyes to catch my breath and calm down. I enjoyed his gaze on me more than I could explain in words.
There were other times I caught him staring. Sometimes, I wasn't even wearing anything particularly revealing. Nevertheless, he'd bore into me with those intense eyes, as if he were going to reach into my soul and devour me whole. He would just stare at my neck, my jaw, my ears, my eyes. I wonder what went on in his mind when he watched me like that. Like he had been transported to another universe altogether.
Whether or not there really was a mutual spark, I still loved it whenever he complimented me on my acting skills and encouraged me. He is just the best mentor and friend, and I'm so grateful to have him as my co-star. He makes me feel intelligent, confident, capable, and just valued. He turned out to be even better in person than I'd imagined him to be.
The day my hunch about him being attracted to me solidified was when we had to shoot this playful romantic song where he had to pick me up and spin me around and then we would slow-dance together. I was wearing a very revealing plain black saree. The blouse was barely there. It was almost a bra. The saree was completely transparent and it was draped dangerously low over my crotch, revealing my entire midriff and stomach.
When he walked in on set and saw me take off my coat, his jaw almost dropped, but he composed himself before anyone else noticed. He himself was wearing a black open shirt with a pair of trendy ripped jeans.
While dancing together, I felt him harden against my crotch. I kept going anyway, because filming was expensive and time-consuming, so I didn't want to waste shots, but also because I enjoyed it quite a bit. I was feeling a little wet down there. I wanted to push forward and grind myself against his erect crotch, but could not muster the courage to do so.
As soon as shooting was over, I went into my vanity van and touched myself in the saree, thinking of him: his bare skin against mine, touching, kissing, feeling, pushing, pulling... but then I heard a knock on the door. I thought it was one of my crew members, so I told them to come back later, but it was HIM. I instantly got up and welcomed him inside.
"Sorry to disturb you, but um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the..." he trailed off.
I immediately understood what he was referring to and said, "Oh, don't even worry about it. It's quite natural and we're friends, right? No need to apologize to friends."
He seemed relieved and said, "Thank God. I was worried that I crossed a line with you."
"Maybe crossing the line isn't always such a bad idea," I said mischievously. He looked surprised. "Um, I have to change. I'll see you later then?"
"Of course, please go ahead," he said politely.
He exited the van, and I continued my business.
Seeing our sizzling chemistry, the director decided to include the previously-cut steamy romantic number, during which I'd be wearing a hot red saree. For that scene, I wore a red lacy thong since no one was going to see my underwear. The red saree wasn't as revealing as the black one. It was a georgette paired with a backless blouse. Thinking I might feel uncomfortable shooting such scenes with him, he came to talk to me beforehand, letting me know that it was just acting, he would be strictly professional, and that I didn't have to do anything I was uncomfortable with. I was hoping that wasn't true because I wanted him to be unprofessional with me - very, very unprofessional.
"Don't worry about it," I said. "I want this song to be the sexiest song Bollywood has ever seen so don't hold back. Let's just go all the way," I said and he gulped hard at that. "I mean, let's give it our best."
"Are you sure the age difference doesn't bother you?" he asked.
If only he could see things from my perspective, he would realize how idiotic he sounded, because he was my very first crush and ever since I started having feelings for him, I've never quite felt that way about anyone else. I couldn't care less about our age gap. I felt closer to him than any soul I've ever known.
"Not at all," I said hotly, and he gulped once again. "I mean, women mature faster anyway, don't they?" I questioned innocently.
He nodded and let out a doubtful smile.
The song was so hot that the entire crew just gawked at us the entire time. The director even forgot to call the cut several times. The material of my saree was gathered together so that my entire midriff as well as the top of my crotch were clearly visible. He dragged his lips all over me, from my neck to my shoulders, then down my cleavage to my stomach. We were out in the rain. He spun me around and kissed me, starting just above my bum and running his lips all the way up my bare back. Then he bent down to kiss my navel before standing up to press his lips against mine passionately once again.
My God, was he a gifted kisser. It could arouse any woman in an instant.
For the next shot, he had to lift my saree to my thighs and kiss up my right leg as I sat near a fountain out in the thunderstorm. I didn't know about this shot beforehand, but by that point, it was too late. I knew for sure that he was going to see my red thong once he lifted the saree, but to be honest, I didn't care. I wanted him to see me, see how much I wanted him.
Finally, the shot was ready. I felt his hand shaking as he began to lift my saree inch by inch. When he lifted it up to my thighs, his eyes bulged out. At that moment I knew exactly what he saw. My thong barely covered my vagina and anus. My lips were protruding out of the lacy material. Besides, I was dripping wet from the scenes we'd shot earlier. He continued anyway, trying to keep it as professional as possible. His soft lips traced my right leg all the way up to my thighs, and his head covered my thong, concealing it from the director and crew members.
The next scene was supposed to be a steamy lovemaking scene in the bedroom. We were supposed to get changed into underwear, but I suggested I go topless to make it seem more realistic. Besides, I felt very comfortable with him.
The director gawked at me in shock before composing himself and saying, "If you two are comfortable then we can do that. Sure."
I looked at my sexy co-star with pleading eyes and he said, "Alright," quietly.
And so, we began the next shot. He undressed me in the bedroom. His shaky hands reached for the thin, red, wet material on my shoulder and pushed it off. Slowly and steadily we made out, and then he unhooked my skimpy blouse and untied the strings. His lips were latched to mine the entire time, and this time, he really tasted me.
He lifted me into his arms and laid me down on the bed. He climbed on top of me and kissed down my neck, all the way to my breasts. Then he turned me around so I was lying on my stomach and kissed my back while pulling off my blouse from underneath me. I was completely topless with him buried in my neck. Then he turned me around again; my naked breasts pressed against his bare chest. My erect nipples poked at him, and I could feel his erection against my crotch. He continued to kiss me all over; his fingers dug into my wet hair and mine dug into his. He traced his lips down my body, between my cleavage, all the way to where my saree began - right above my crotch. His hands cupped my boobs to cover them up. He then slowly pulled off the pleats one by one, and took off the saree. Then he returned to kiss me, our bare chests once again pressed against each other.
Our bodies writhed against each other for a few minutes before the director finally called, "Cut!"
In the next shot, both of us were supposed to be in underwear. We both walked onto the set in our robes. As soon as we took them off, we got under the sheets before anyone could catch a glimpse. I was just in my red thong, and he was in his boxer briefs.
We continued the lovemaking scene, and this time his erection felt more prominent against my crotch; there were barely two pieces of fabric between us. I was basically naked, with just a thong barely covering my pussy. I enjoyed his touch and the feel of him so much. I wanted him closer to me. I wanted to make love to him for real. I wanted him inside me. I wondered how he controlled himself because I was soaking wet and he probably felt it.
Once the scene was over, we both quickly put on our robes and headed into our own vans. Needless to say, I masturbated again - multiple times.
Later that evening, we attended a movie screening together. It was to launch some star kid. It was a boring-ass movie with the same old potboiler movie tropes, but being there with him was great. In the middle of our conversation, I put my hand on his thigh and he paused for a moment but then continued. Later on, he put his hand on my bare thigh and pressed it while talking casually. I saw it in his eyes: he desired me as much as I desired him.
When the screening was over, he took me to his apartment to "hang out," but we both knew it was going to be more than just a friendly night. My blue mini dress was so tight that it squeezed my big breasts and flaunted my curves, and it was so short that if I bent even a little, everyone would see my lacy black thong. Throughout the ride, we kept our hands on each other's thighs and squeezed lightly while trying to keep it cool.
In his apartment, he offered me a drink and I took it with gratitude. We chatted for a little, talking about the shitty movie we just watched. He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear and continued to talk as if it were natural for him to touch me like that.
Once we had enough of discussing that horrible movie, he asked, "Do you like pool?" looking toward the green pool table in his living room.
