(fictional story about fictional characters in the public domain)
That damn little girl and her piano lessons," thought Natalie. She knew it wasn't rational to blame her, but Natalie had to blame someone. She couldn't blame her boss, Adrian Monk (the brilliant former detective and now consultant for the SFPD) because his phobias and neurosis' were beyond his control. So here she was on the worst day of her life; chained to a bathtub with Mr. Monk in his newly purchased house, blaming that little girl. It had all started innocently enough with Monk's neighbor practicing her piano lessons; but the more she practiced the same tune...the more irritated Monk became. Closing the windows didn't help and Monk resolved to do anything to escape the incessant noise. They had tagged along with SFPD Capt. Stottlemeyer and Lt. Disher on a seemingly routine accidental-death case. An elderly man had taken a fatal fall down his stairs and his surviving niece mentioned that she would be selling his house.
Monk had seized on this opportunity to escape his piano prodigy neighbor and, against the advice of everyone he knew, had bought the dead man's house. The clincher was when the seller mentioned the house was so well built that the walls were virtually soundproof. The transaction had concluded with remarkable speed and Monk moved into his new abode.
While shopping for a new shower-head, Monk had, seemingly by accident, bumped into a handyman nicknamed "Honest Jake." Jake had given Monk his business card and planted a seed in Monk's brain about possible problems with his new home.
Soon after, Monk had noticed that his dining room ceiling light was not centered and called "Honest Jake" for assistance. At the time, Monk did not know that his home's former resident had been involved in an armored car robbery forty years ago and , while under the influence of medication, had inadvertently confessed to his private nurse that the money was hidden somewhere in the house. The nurse's boyfriend just happened to be Jake; and she had pushed the man down the stairs when she realized he was at risk of telling others.
Once Jake had access to Monk's new home, he found every imaginary excuse and supposed code-violation to tear out walls and ceilings looking for the stashed loot. Monk had found a piece of torn wallpaper which he thought implicated the health-aide and had brought Stottlemeyer and Disher back into the case. Jake couldn't risk any slips-of-the-tongue so he had murdered his girlfriend with an awl (resembling an ice-pick). Monk had found the awl in Jake's toolbox and immediately solved the case. Unfortunately Jake realized Monk's discovery and; Jake and Ramone (Jake's accomplice) had chained Monk and Natalie to the bathtub.
When Ramone finally broke through a wall in the dining room and found the stashed fortune, Natalie suddenly was very fearful for her life; and she didn't like the way Ramone kept leering at her. Natalie couldn't help think what a shame it would be to die just when she was ready to push her relationship with Adrian to another level. She had grown more fond of him over the years, and had been attracted to his brilliance and compassion. She had actually hinted a couple times that his new house was awfully large for just one person. Those thoughts were quickly sent to the back of her brain when she saw Ramone whisper in Jake's ear, and they turned in unison to stare at her.
As they approached the cowering Natalie, Jake announced, "Ramone has suggested that a celebration is in order; and you are going to be the centerpiece of our party."
Jake grabbed Natalie's arm, unchained her, and dragged her down the hallway to the wide doorway between the living room and dining room. There were no walls there anymore, just bare framework; exposed beams. Jake turned to the still-chained Monk and said, " we don't want to go too far away. We want you to be able to see the celebration, even if you can't participate." Jake ordered Ramone, "throw me that roll of tape," and after catching the tool in his left hand, muttered, "is there anything more handy in this world than duct tape."
Jake jerked Natalie's arms above her head, tore off a piece of tape with his teeth, and wrapped it around her wrists. Then, as Ramone held her in the center of the doorway, Jake wrapped duct tape between her wrists and over the beam above her head.
Tears streamed down her face as Natalie screamed and kicked at them. Jake laughed as he grabbed her left ankle, wrapped it in duct tape, stretched her leg to the side and wrapped the tape around the bottom of the doorway frame. Ramone did the same with her right ankle; and now Natalie's legs were stretched about as wide as they could get. Natalie kept screaming at them until Jake ceremoniously tore one last section of tape and placed it over her mouth. Ramone and Jake stood back to look at their prize and Jake told Ramone, "go in the kitchen and get the shears I saw on the table." When Ramone returned, Monk recognized the scissors as the ones he had been clipping coupons with. Monk yelled at the duo and tried everything he could to help Natalie, but he couldn't budge the tub by himself.
Jake took the scissors, stood in front of Natalie and started cutting her sweater sleeves from the wrist down to her shoulders; first her left sleeve, then her right. He left a strip of material at each shoulder and then started at her waist and snipped all the way up and through her collar. Then he clipped the strips at her shoulders, ripped her sweater off her body and tossed it aside. Natalie remembered she had felt a little depressed at the overcast, dreary San Francisco morning and had worn her sexiest lingerie that day as a secret way to cheer herself up. Her bra was of the sheerest, skimpiest, black material and you could clearly see her nipples through it. The panties were matching and her slit would be proudly on display momentarily.
