WrestleMania! The Grandest Stage of Them All! The Show of Shows! The Superbowl of Sports Entertainment! The Showcase of the Immortals and this year, in the year of our lord 2016 live from Orlando, Florida, WrestleMania was a different kind of showcase altogether. For Mania 33 was the first of its kind under the newly-drafted Raw and SmackDown Live rosters.
Which was significant for a multitude of reasons, none more pronounced though than the rosters themselves. An influx of brand-new names meant that a good portion of the men and women on either show were experiencing their first WrestleMania. Just the thought could've been humbling, let alone being in a heavily featured match scheduled for the main card. Understandably, many of the newer guys and gals were a bit jittery, none more so than The Wicked Witch of WWE herself, Alexa Bliss.
Lexi was nervous and nobody would dare blame her, but those nerves, they were the last things somebody with as much riding on their match as Little Miss Bliss wanted to be feeling. Not with these kinds of stakes...not with her ass up for grabs.
This was life or death! Bliss couldn't afford another ass fucking, not after that little fiasco at Elimation Chamber. All her hard work trying to be someone better, something better than just the cute little blonde piece of bubble butt fuck meat that had been passed around in NXT couldn't go to waste. The name "Alexa Bliss'' was meant to be up in lights dammit, and the fact that she'd already won a world championship was proof of that! So tonight, her match on the biggest stage was absolutely a must-win.
Lexi needed to get back on track, she deserved it, and a 1-0 record at the show of shows was just the way to do it! Of course, winning her debut match against Carmella, who was also making her Mania premiere, meant that she'd have the perfect prize waiting for her victory celebration, too! That damn Carmella, Alexa wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for that uppity bitch parading her loyal whores around! Too bad they'd be completely useless in their coming encounter.
Ah yes, in mere moments, there'd be no Bellas, no AJ Lee, no Sasha Banks and no what's-her-face, the uhh...the short Latina, whoever she was. Didn't matter! The second her music hit, CFO$ "Spiteful", Mella's fabulous entourage wouldn't be able to save her from the ass kickin' Alexa had been saving. Not with the plan she'd laid out so expertly.
Before long, Alexa's place in Gorilla Position was a little more justified; she was supremely focused, and was ready to go upwards of twenty minutes before call time. Maybe a bit too soon but, eventually, Little Miss Bliss heard a familiarly annoying New York accent from down an adjacent hallway. As the accent grew closer, it became a little more than just familiar, and Lexi could tell that it didn't belong to just anyone. It belonged to her WrestleMania opponent.
"Lexi! Lexi!" Carmella screeched as her stunning figure and beautiful face came into view, The Princess of Staten Island such a spectacular sight for sore eyes that even her biggest of adversaries had to concede just how money she really was. Her voice though? Like nails on a chalkboard for those in opposition of Fabulous Mella.
"What do you want? I'm trying to stay focused over here..." Alexa groaned, trying to redirect her anger with a few short, measured breaths.
"Aw c'mon, Lex, aren't you happy to see me?" Mella asked before quickly answering her own rhetorical question. "Oh, my mistake! Of course you're not. Seeing me means that your time as a top is comin' to an end. Sorry, Lex but, don't you worry, I'll take great care of your little butthole when you're mine." And just like that, Alexa's short temper got the better of her.
"Ooh is that so? You're gonna be so upset when you're the one who...uh...when I do the same thing to you that...that you said- look, you're no fucking match for me, okay? You're not breaking me, I'll be breaking you," Alexa attempted to argue, but stumbled over her words. The sudden sound of Carmella's theme hitting over the loudspeaker definitely didn't help her confidence.
With a devilish grin, Mella exclaimed, "Uh, hold that thought, Lex, it's showtime!" And with a little wave of her fingers, Carmella was gone.
The crowd on the other side showed their appreciation for New York's greatest export, yet another reason for Alexa to frown. The reaction was understandable, Mella had been quite the underrated talent since joining the WWE, as evidenced by her status as the final pick in WWE's brand extension draft. She'd scratched and clawed but for Alexa, that reaction from the Orlando crowd was absolutely stomach churning.
Mella hadn't done what she'd done! She wasn't a champion like Bliss, she didn't know what it was like to have her name on the marquee. She wasn't a headliner and, before long, it was time for Little Miss Bliss to find out if the city home to Lexi's favorite amusement park would be as gracious to her as they were to her opponent. As the final tunes of "Fabulous" ran their course, Alexa stepped towards the curtain.
Just a few brief moments of silence before the iconic opening sting of Alexa's theme. Everybody knew it, just as they should and yet, the crowd wasn't quite as appreciative of her excellence. After all the heinous deeds Alexa had enacted at the top of the card, hitting her music was a recipe for crow heat, a chorus of boos accompanied her walk through the curtain and into the arena.
Admittedly, the reaction was louder than Mella's, which a very powerful man had told her was more important than positive or negative. But honestly, Alexa wasn't bothered with it or, at least she was trying not to be. She needed to stay focused on winning her first match at WrestleMania, something she'd look back on and remember forever.
Bliss was all business during her walkout and, once the bell had rung, she carried that seriousness with her. No shenanigans, no funny business...right up until the match started to get out of hand.
Look, Alexa's in ring skill was promising, and her cheerleading background made her quite the athlete. But when it came down to the science of moves and holds, there remained a lot for her to learn and it showed. Move for move, tit-for-tat, Mella was proving herself to be the better wrestler, despite Alexa's status as a former world champion.
That's when Bliss dipped her hand into the metaphorical bag of tricks she always kept at her side. Eye pokes, dirty pins, the fucky double-jointed arm deal, the whole nine yards. There were so many heel shenanigans at play that prime Triple H would've had a tear in his eye were he in attendance. But even still, they only gave her the upper hand momentarily, and Carmella always fought her way back into the driver's seat. One big super kick later, and it was obvious: Money Mella had just slammed her foot on the gas pedal, leaving Alexa to take yet another page out of The Game's heel play book.
"Mickie!" She called out into the corner cam as she attempted to recover. The call was what Mickie had been waiting for, her instructions being to watch on a monitor out back and anticipate the signal; as soon as she heard it, she should've been running down to her Mistress's aid. It's what they discussed, and yet, Lexi's call was answered in silence.
Lexi's insurance policy was nowhere to be found, not only Mickie but her other two bitches, Natalya and Liv Morgan, were M.I.A. also. Useless! Nevertheless, that lack of help spelled the end of WWE's Wicked Witch in her quest to claim WrestleMania success. With nobody coming to save the tiny blonde, Mella locked in her Code of Silence submission and, while Alexa did her best to fight out of the hold, she ultimately had no choice but to tap out, much to the enjoyment of the Orlando audience.
The crowd went wild as the bell rang and Mella's theme began to play again. A mere ten minutes, if that, and that "mid-card nothing" had bested the former women's champion; IWC marks were truly at a loss for words. As was Little Miss Bliss, as she grabbed at her neck, hoping to caress away the damage that Carmella's brutal submission had dealt. She couldn't, and to make matters worse, the pain helped pave the way for a realization to set in. She'd lost. Lost bad with her ass on the line and now, it was time to pay up.
Carmella gloated as much as she could but, eventually, the referee helped move her along; lots of matches on the Mania card and whatnot. Bliss was given a bit more time to not only sulk, but lick her wounds as well. Soon enough though, she too was directed towards the back. Poor nameless, royalty-free ref, if only he knew what sending Lexi backstage truly entailed. Though it wasn't his fault and he was only doing his job, the nameless, royalty-free referee was sending Alexa Bliss to her doom.
The long walk to the back gave Alexa a well-needed opportunity to soak in the match result, as well as the controversy surrounding it. That match was hers to win! Maybe not cleanly, but rules were nothing if not designed to be bent, much less broken, and a little outside interference would've been the perfect kryptonite to nullify Carmella and her lethal offense. Alexa could've won and probably should've won, if only her worthless bitches knew how to follow orders properly!
Mickie had been given a strict order, but Alexa had prepared for the likelihood that the dumb, cock-obsessed legend got distracted and therefore, ordered Liv and Nattie to pay close attention just in-case. Mickie was her go-to, her on-screen ally and so, she was option number one. But a plan was in place to ensure that no matter what, the best ending takes place. So why? Why, after all that effort, did all three of them pull a no show?!
Alexa was furious and understandably so. Pretty soon, barring a sudden burst of confidence that propelled her to talking her way out of this situation, she'd be bent over, pulling her sweet, buttery biscuit cheeks apart for Mella. Just the thought was nauseating, let alone taking into account how soon that thought could realistically come to light. Much sooner than even she thought as, before Alexa knew it, she was standing just outside of the women's locker room.
Typically, the locker room doors were so thick and sturdy that despite all the hubbub on the other side, not a sound could be heard. This time was different though...much different. For this time, the same voice that had taunted her just before her match seeped through the top, bottom, and sides of the door, past the hinges and the threshold, right into Alexa's ear drums. That voice, that arrogant, Staten Island twang was mid monologue and for a second, Alexa thought about turning tail and exiting the area. But in light of the consequences of doing so, she decided against it, instead sucking it up and opening the door, humiliation be damned.
Surprisingly, the locker room was relatively empty; it helped that a large chunk of the upper-tier talent were involved in a Raw Women's title match and conveniently, those who weren't were crowding around screens elsewhere just like the fans at home. It was only then, after Alexa took stock of who was present who wasn't, that she realized the severity of the situation at hand.
The women's locker room, usually loud and boisterous, consisted only of Alexa, Carmella and The Bella Twins. Which explained why Mella's annoying rant could be heard from behind the door, but...that still didn't explain where her bitches had gone. Lucky for her, Money Mella was happy to inform her.
