It all started on an unseasonably warm winter day in the town of Cleveland, Ohio. The sun was standing high in the sky and beaming down it's bright rays. It was only 10:30 in the morning and yet, it had already reached a rather warm 65 degrees. Outside the birds were chirping loudly, but inside the Mizanin household a different series of events and noises were occurring.
At the kitchen table was seated the father of "The A-Lister" The Miz. The table was scattered with various breakfast items – there was a large plate of bacon, some sausage, some eggs, some hash browns, some orange juice, and a large mug of coffee. Still cooking away, the Miz's mother finally opened her mouth and began speaking -
"So dear, I'm delighted to make you all of this food. But, can you tell me exactly why you need such a massive breakfast? The pancakes will be up soon."
He let out a loud and thunderous belch. He began to speak - "Today is the day. Today I finally (he burps again) – start working towards my New Year's resolution. I'm going to finally start working out. I need all of this food to have the energy so that I can push it to the limit. After all, Mike was generous enough to buy me all of that exercise equipment for Christmas, I might as well put it to good use. Besides, it's such a nice day outside that I'm thinking about opening the garage, blaring some tunes, and getting my sweat on."
"Dear – that's fantastic! I'm glad that you are finally getting serious about working out. You know that I have always loved you and your body, but there's no denying the fact that we are both getting older. And besides – I want you around for as long as I possibly can have you. You are my greatest love, you do know that right? - She responded.
"Of course I do dear! After all we've been through, and the fact that we are still somehow an item. Still somehow together after all of these years. I mean, sure we had our rough period when we were separated. But, after a few years we found ourselves back in each others lives. It was once we decided to make our relationship open that we really found each other again. And besides baby – look at this bounty of food on this table. You didn't have to make me breakfast. You could have completely told me to fuck off and to make my own breakfast." - MizDad states.
"I would never do that my dear!" - She replies as a smile begins to crest on her face. "By the way, the pancakes are done. Come and get them while they are still hot."
The MizDad exclaims - "That's not the only thing, that I will get while it's still hot." He then lets out another booming laugh. He gets out of his kitchen chair and stands up as he walks over to his wife. He tenderly kisses her on the lips. As he feels up his plate with pancakes, he stares at his wife with a fervent lust. Plate now full of pancakes, he begins to walk back to the table , but not before slapping his wife on her ass.
As he sits down, he begins to dump a ton of syrup on his pancakes. His wife turns off the stove and removes the apron that she was wearing. She then walks over to the table to join her husband. As he continues to eat ravenously Lots of loud lip smacking sounds can be heard in the kitchen. The MizDad was never one to take his time with eating – in many ways, he ate like he would never get another opportunity to eat. His wife merely sat at the table sipping on her cup of coffee.
After several more minutes – The MizDad had completely finished his stack of pancakes. In fact, he had completely finished all of the food that was on the table. The pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage were now all gone. He looked at his wife across the table and saw that she was only left with her solitary cup of coffee.
"Fuck" - he blurted out.
"What's wrong dear? Was the food not satisfactory? Or perhaps there wasn't enough? Do you want me to make you anything else?"
"Oh no dear, I am completely full and couldn't possibly consume another bite of food. I just feel bad, I didn't mean to eat everything on the table – I didn't want to deprive you of getting a meal."
She now laughed before speaking - "Relax, dear – I'm not particularly hungry this morning anyway. This cup of coffee is really all I need to get myself going today. It's very warm and filling. Besides – you are the one who has a big day. I am merely going to lounge around the house and watch some television- but you are really going to work out today aren't you?"
"Oh fuck yea I am. I'm going to work out like I've never worked out before. And after finishing that breakfast, I'm already feeling pumped for the day. I can feel the energy flowing through my body. I can feel my pulse beating and I'm ready to rock this workout like I've never rocked a workout before. In fact – I should go change right now and get to it while I'm still motivated. Do you mind if I get to it? I don't mean to leave you with this mess of dishes." - MizDad stated.
"It's fine. Now go on and get ready." - The Miz's mother said. The MizDad stood up and then proceeded up the steps. Five minutes later, he walked back down and saw his wife finishing up the dishes. He was now dressed in a Tapout t-shirt and a pair of Zubaz. His wife noticed what he was wearing and said - "Damn, honey you look the part. Do you still want your morning beer?"
"I probably shouldn't – but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. I can't sculpt this body instantly. So what the hell. Might as well."
The MizDad opened up the fridge and grabbed a cold Miller Lite tallboy. He once again kissed his wife before heading outside. As the day's sunlight beamed on his skin for the first time, he immediately felt another jolt of energy. He cracked open the beer as he opened up the garage door. As the door was lifted – the sun began to reflect off the metal exercise machines. The Miz had really spent far too much on his dad this Christmas, but that's just the kind of person the A-Lister was. He may appear to be a douchebag on television, but he truly has a heart of gold for those he cares about. Of course, the garage had also been very much stylized by the Miz's father too. He had to put his own unique touch on there – which is why there was also a mini-fridge in the garage with beer and a television with access to all of the channels, including the adult ones. In another corner – the MizDad had made sure to put in a jukebox with all of his favorite tunes.
He was having difficulty deciding exactly how to get started. He wasn't sure which exercise machine he wanted to start on – there was a weight bench, a bicycle, and a leg press. He slowly sipped on his Miller Lite procrastinating as he listened to the sounds of nature outside. He decided that he would flip on the television first. He thought that if he could find an entertaining program that would allow him to pass the time and be distracted enough not to notice that he was working out. He flipped the channels for a few minutes before landing on The Playboy Channel. Currently on was the show "Hot Babes Doing Stuff Naked". He was disappointed as he realized that this was the horseback riding episode and he had already seen this one. Plus, he was already starting to feel his member hardening and he knew that if he watched for much longer he would end up just masturbating and never working out. He began channel surfing some more until he came across "Total Divas" airing on the E! Network.
