There was never any doubt in my mind what my true feelings were. I never would've admitted it to anybody, since I've always been shy, but whenever I looked at the cover of that first CD a friend bought me, my heart did a skip and (as long as no one else was around) I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. I was sure I had the biggest celebrity crush in the history of the world.
Part of why I never would've admitted it was because I figured my crush on Taylor Swift was schoolgirl-silly. I mean, there I was, a supposedly mature college student, and I could drool over a huge, desktop picture of her and her curly blonde hair for hours. I fantasized about meeting her, but it wasn't until she popped into my head while I was masturbating that I realized my feelings were stronger than just a casual crush. At that moment of realization, I had no idea that things would get much, much more interesting in just a few months.
One of my roommates, Sarah, revealed herself to be the best friend of a huge Taylor Swift fan two days before she was supposed to go to a concert with that friend—and Sarah was too sick to do more than lay in bed and cough. I had met her friend a few times, and she seemed nice. But I was really surprised when Sarah offered me the ticket she could no longer use.
"Come on Katie," she said between sniffles. "I know you're a closet T-Swizz fan." I blushed, and it took a little more cajoling, but I finally accepted the ticket. When I looked at it, my mouth fell open in surprise.
"Sarah I can't take this! This isn't just a ticket—it's a backstage pass! You should just sell this to someone who really wants it." Sarah smiled.
"C'mon, you should go. Jenny would really like to go with someone, and even though you guys haven't hung out much, you'll enjoy it much more than I ever would have." I thanked her and went to my room, trying to wrap my head around the thought of meeting Taylor in person. When the memory of my last masturbation fantasy about her crossed my mind, I blushed bright red and wondered if I could ever really face her.
The concert venue was packed, and people were constantly trying to crowd closer to the stage. Jenny, of course, had paid to be right in front of the stage. In the very front row was not where I wanted to be. How was my heart supposed to handle the excitement of seeing Taylor sing and dance a few feet away from me? I only felt out of place until she showed up on stage, however. When she appeared, everyone freaked out, and the fact that I did too didn't stand out. I jumped and yelled with the rest of the audience, and was having the best time.
She walked out to where the audience was and knelt down, high-fiving girls who were practically fainting from excitement. Then she came over to our side, and knelt right in front of me...she looked directly into my eyes and for the few seconds she was singing to me and me only, everything around me disappeared. She continued on with the show, but I couldn't concentrate on anything except how much I couldn't wait to get backstage and meet her in a more intimate setting.
There was a small group of people that had backstage passes, and Taylor was taking her time to talk to each of them in turn. We were the last two to talk to her, but a couple seconds in Jenny's phone rang. She had arranged to have someone cover her shift at her part-time job, but there was some mix-up and she was going to be in trouble if she didn't show up after all. She apologized and ran off. I waved to her and then turned back around, realizing I was the only one left. I opened my mouth to say something but at that moment an argument started between some of the managers.
"Why don't you come up to my dressing room?" Taylor said, gesturing me to follow her up a small staircase. My heart was pounding with nervousness as I walked ahead of her into the dressing room and she shut the door. And locked it. "Don't worry, no one will bother us. I get a little time to wind down at the end of the show. They have to tear down set pieces and stuff and I like just hanging out in here." She was sitting on the edge of a vanity that had a big mirror. I was sitting on the end of a couch close to her, and my head was almost level with her knees...her legs were almost totally bare, since the shorts she was wearing looked like they didn't reach any lower on her thighs than her underwear.
Suddenly realizing I was staring at her legs, I looked up and found her looking at me. Her head was tilted a little to the side and she had let down her hair, which fell gently around her shoulders. Her lips were ruby red with lipstick and parted a little in a gentle smile. Her blue eyes locked onto mine and refused to let go. She asked me some questions and I must have answered because she laughed magically at one of my answers, but all my brain could concentrate on was how close we were to each other.
