March 2, 2014
"What the hell?" That was probably not the best way to greet Rachel McAdams.
But when she suddenly appeared at my front door, near my house, on my day off before the biggest day of my career -- a day she couldn't be a part of -- I gave myself some leeway.
"Hello right back," Rachel said before making her way in. "You didn't answer your phone, so I thought I'd call on you here."
"I had it turned off. For my day off," I informed her. "And how do you even know my number?"
"Amanda squealed on you," Rachel told me, earning my strict attention. "I could have called your bosses, but I needed to talk to you before I see them."
"See them? For what?" I asked as if I didn't suspect. Comprehending was another matter.
"I changed my mind," she went on. "I want to be part of your reunion. So I made time to get off my movie and come by tomorrow. I know this is last second, and you've probably made all kinds of plans to go on without me. That's why I want you to make them put me in."
"Me?" I asked inadequately. "I....don't have that kind of power. Just talk directly to my bosses. Why would they refuse you?"
"They're not the ones who got everyone else on board, are they?" Rachel pointed out. "You did, if my snitch was on the level."
"You mean Amanda," I rolled my eyes.
"The point is, you got her and the others to do this. Even Lindsay," Rachel reminded me. "And that was after you hit a wall with me. So no way am I gonna be the odd one out now. I'm gonna get on there, and you're gonna help me."
I tried to get my head around it before I spoke. I didn't wait long enough, as I only had, "But it's my day off." Once I remembered my better excuses, I laid them out.
"All I did was get them to come. I'm not doing the interviews, the shoots or the costumes. What happens tomorrow.....I've got no actual part in it. I'm just a spectator. I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands now," I told her. "You don't need me to convince you to come, apparently. Just tell them you wanna do it and they'll get you in."
"They've got everything set up for Lindsay, Amanda, Lacey, Tina and Lizzy. I'm not giving them much time to fit me in. What if they can't think of anything good for me? What if there's too much they gotta change?" Rachel wondered.
"I want to do this, but I don't want to pay for a rush job. One that's kind of my fault, I know," she assured. "I need someone to look out for my interests. And my agents and managers have days off too. So....I figure the guy who made this possible, despite my best efforts, can look out for me. Help me make my case to sneak in there, and make sure I'm taken care of if it works."
"I don't think you need to be taken care of that much," I admitted. "You're the biggest star of the whole group. Biggest movie star, anyway," I qualified, disqualifying Lindsay, Tina and Lizzy -- while slightly dissing Amanda and probably Lacey. "They're not gonna turn your star power down, or let you look ridiculous. They can't afford to."
"You can never be too careful. How do you think I stayed a star after growing up?" Rachel asked.
"Nicholas Sparks?" I answered without a second thought. Luckily, Rachel laughed a little and bailed out my lack of thinking.
"That and covering my bases. Surrounding myself with reliable people, that sort of thing," Rachel explained. "You're reliable, right? I mean, you convinced the rest of them like that! You must have gone all out to get them on board, so why not do it for me, too?"
Before I answered, or admitted I didn't have much of an answer, Rachel decided to assume, "Is this because I turned you down? Okay, I could have set my schedule aside from the start, fine. But you didn't even know if this was real back then! What's done is done, so what do you want from me now? A blowjob?!"
Funny she went right to that. The only funny thing about it, really. But she kept being hilarious and said, "For all I know, that's how you got them on board! I could only put it off for so long, I guess!"
This was her being frustrated at me. Nothing else. I had to believe that. It wasn't because Amanda was that big of a snitch, or that Rachel was....that interested in my help.
Yet it had been over a month since that....experience with Lindsay. I hadn't had any with anyone else since, due to work, a few other possible factors, and the unlikelihood of topping January 2014 anytime soon. I was probably rusty by now -- but what if I wasn't?
I looked at Rachel to see if she was kidding around yet. Instead, I lingered on her annoyed but still pretty face, then down to her red polka dot dress. But when I looked down further and saw her legs in those heels, she really had my attention. Even if she didn't want it like that yet.
Despite Rachel being more accomplished than any of the Mean Girls -- on the big screen, anyway -- I'd followed everyone else a lot more, even before having sex with them. As such, it was news to me that Rachel had legs that shapely -- and had those kind of outlines on her ass.
If she could work those legs and everything else fast enough, then....
No. It seemed I learned nothing from Lindsay after all.
Blackmail comes with a cost -- even if Rachel probably wasn't into Lindsay's kind of 'payment plan.' It would be just my luck to be proven wrong the hard way. Why test that and make her think she had to blow me, so I'd do something I was already going to do? Doing that once was enough.
Plus if she was going to be in the shoot tomorrow, we really had no time to waste with blowjobs. It'd have to be a sloppy, disappointing rush job, which would be a real disappointing end to these sex escapades. And she'd have less time to prepare too, or something.
"We'll discuss other payment plans later," I finally shrugged off. "Now we've gotta get you to the office. And some other people too." Once I got my keys and my cell phone, I headed out with Rachel to start the busiest day off of my life.
March 3, 2014
So this was what five rounds of sex, incredible gambles, massive stress and 11-year-old connections yielded.
In the end, the editors and photographers settled on typical school-themed sets and costumes. The cover photo would have the Mean Girls walking down a hall, with Lizzy and Tina nearby. The lead photo for the article would have the girls sitting around a classroom and posing, while Tina was trying to teach them. And there'd be assorted individual photos in classrooms, the gym, a cafeteria, etc.
I might have tried to be more original, but that wasn't my job yet. I did my job just by getting everyone here, getting Rachel and my bosses in the same room yesterday, and helping them pitch their ideas to her. The rest was their problem -- although if this issue and these photos didn't take off, it's not like they'd take the blame. After all, getting them here was all my idea, no matter how I did it.
Still, I didn't see anything too disastrous or controversial. Maybe they saved that for their interviews, but I didn't see that part. As for the shoot, the girls weren't arguing, Lindsay wasn't making a scene, and their school clothes were in the revealing yet tasteful category.
Rachel had her old Regina George poise and command back, while Amanda and Lacey looked appropriately doting -- though I don't know how successful they were in not upstaging the Queen Bee. Maybe that was just my bias talking. In any case, Lindsay mustered up some of her old star power, Lizzy still rocked it in black, and Tina showed why the old "hot for teacher" fantasy was still so popular.
Whether I would have been more creative or not, this seemed to have all the elements that would make readers buy the issue -- or read it online. Once they did and I got credit for getting the ball rolling, the sky might be the limit after all.
There wasn't even any revealing, post-sex awkwardness between any of us on set. If these actresses felt it, they acted well enough to hide it. Maybe it helped that I only had time to greet and hug them before they had to work. But after they left for their interviews and came back for some final shots, I thought I felt some of them looking at me funny.
Perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps I should have savored it either way, since they might not ever look at me again after today. Either way, I chose to keep taking a victory lap in my head.
When it was exhausted and everyone else was changed and ready to go, I decided I needed a moment to myself before I said goodbye. I looked for the nearest storage room on the lot we were shooting at, then went in, closed it up and took it all in.
It was over. I did what I set out to do. And it looked like I did it just fine. Maybe I'd get to do other, more important things just fine too. All because of a hair brained idea that paid off in ways I....never imagined. Well, maybe not never.
I got to live a whole bunch of dreams and get away with it. Personally and now professionally. If that didn't call for a non-professional fist pump, and jumping up and down with silent cheers, nothing did.
"Should have saved that for the blooper reel," I stopped jumping around to hear.
While I was distracted, it seemed Tina had entered the room. She was back in the regular blue dress she had on before the shoot. Yet while she didn't have her glasses, her legs still had those tempting stockings on. But the time to notice that stuff had passed. "There are some things that even web exclusives aren't ready for," I joked to distract myself.
