2003
Amanda Seyfried was the newcomer on the Mean Girls set. Lindsay was the big star, Tina, Lacey and Lizzy all had prime time TV experience, and even Rachel had a body swapping Rob Schneider film under her belt. But Amanda just had a few years of soap opera work on her filmography, but Mean Girls would be her very first movie -- making her new to this side of the business, just like me. In a way.
I told myself it was a big reason why I couldn't take my eyes off her. It wasn't just her own incredible blue/green eyes, blonde hair, bright face and irresistible figure. At least those weren't the only reasons.
Yet after the mishaps with Lacey, Tina and Lizzy, I felt nervous about the same thing happening with Amanda. I knew I should have been excited and hopeful, though. She was just starting out in the movies, but I could tell she wouldn't be an unknown for long. If she was ever not going to be untouchable, this would be it.
But although I wasn't star struck or intimidated by Lacey, Tina or Lizzy, Amanda made me more....hesitant. I told myself I'd stumbled onto moments with them, and now thinking of it was throwing me off. If I just let it happen, something weird and hot would come up, as it had before.
Yet nothing did. It wasn't for lack of talking to her or trying to bond, though.
Whenever I was nearby and Amanda needed something, I helped get it for her. When I ran into her heading to the set in her sexy Santa costume, I kept eye contact throughout -- though that had its own set of problems. I appreciated her smiles and nods at me whenever she noticed me, and admired how she could go from playing a total dimbulb to being super bright off camera.
On her last day of shooting, I found her alone as she prepared to leave. I wished her luck and told her how this was my first film experience as well -- and joked that this would be a fun thing to look back on at the Oscars in 10 years.
She said, "I hope so too," with her big smile, then left after giving me a hug goodbye. It came too fast for me to savor her chest against mine, or to really hold her right back. Perhaps I was overconfident that this would set up something more, after coming close to it so many times on this set.
But Amanda left and took those hopes with her. And my ever growing "What could have been" list of fantasies had a new, perhaps permanent leader.
January 2014
I'd done a good job repressing and ignoring my old thoughts about Amanda. The old and new thoughts about Lacey, Tina and Lizzy certainly helped. In fact, they made me less nervous and intimidated by the time I reached out to Amanda.
Unfortunately for me, she had the busiest movie career of the group other than Rachel, who'd already been too busy to come onboard. So it didn't bode well when her agent told me she was on a shoot.
It bode somewhat better when he called me back an hour later. It got much better when he said Amanda did want to talk to me -- and do it in person. I was somewhat deflated when he said she couldn't until two days from now. But when he shared the next bit of news, I stayed high for the next 48 hours.
The nerves came back when I reached the restaurant Amanda would allegedly meet me at for dinner. I was told she'd meet me there when the shoot was over -- and I held back fears that she wasn't coming for about 10 minutes. It was better than five or two, like I expected.
Yet right after the 11'th minute, I saw someone coming.
I'd seen other women come by and been disappointed that they weren't Amanda. But when I saw an unmistakably familiar, unmistakably gorgeous blond in a light green dress, I had no problem letting that disappointment go. "Sorry I'm late," Amanda Seyfried added.
"Sure," I blurted without thinking. "Another thing to laugh about at the Oscars, then," I said with even less thought, since she was less likely to remember a 10-year old joke from a crewman.
"If you meet me there this time, I will. I'm the only one who went there on schedule this year, so don't put this on me," Amanda answered.
Oh, right. She was at the Oscars with the Les Miserables cast, 10 years after my joke. She remembered the irony and I didn't. Now I was the one laughing, almost in spite of myself.
Amanda broke out into a smile when I composed myself, conceding, "Well, better late than never." She went over for another hug, and this time I fully joined in.
When we broke, I led her into the restaurant and we were sent to our table. After we settled in and ordered, Amanda clarified why we were here.
"I knew we wouldn't be able to talk on the set. Like, really talk," she said. "Doing it on the phone or through my people seemed too impersonal. I mean, look at this. We started out together, kind of, and now here we are again. I figured that was worth a nice night to ourselves."
First, I made sure this dinner was all that came to mind as the definition of a 'nice night.' Then I made sure to warn her, "Well, we're not there yet. If you're in, we've gotta pick a free date you can drop by on. One that matches with the others."
"You got the others?" Amanda asked.
"Most of them," I had to recap. "Lacey, Tina and Lizzy are in. Rachel couldn't make it. And....the big get is next," I faced up to. "And that's gonna make or break this whole thing."
"I heard Lindsay was doing good," Amanda encouraged.
"Either that or she's covered up her antics better. She had to figure out how eventually, right?" I joked, albeit cautiously in case Amanda was still close with Lindsay. "Who knows with her? I guess I'll find out in a jiff now."
"Your magazine won't do this without her?" Amanda wondered.
