Dear Diary,
Wow. It's been a while. I hope you slept well too. Good thing I bought a Hibernating Diary 2.0!
Well, let's get the no fun stuff out of the way first: I had a cold. It lasted an entire week! Vampires, especially fit vamps in their twenties, aren't supposed to get colds. I slept day and night every day until I began to feel better.
Alright. That's enough of that. I'm back. And, dare I say, better than ever!
When I awoke from my slumber, I was famished. I needed food. Slick, red, human blood. Gallons of it. I needed to suck on the thickest neck until it was bone dry. I needed that sweet human juice to flow down my chin and onto my breasts. I needed it to splash my face and cover me with sticky goo.
Which brings me to last Saturday night. Now
that
was a party! Let me start from the beginning.
I awoke at 7 p.m. from my week-long slumber. Jonathan, my limp-dicked husband, left me a note on the spider table next to my coffin. I snatched it up before Spidey could run away with it, as she loves to do. (So annoying.)
The note read:
My sweet Mavis, (ugh. I hate that pet name. He's such a weenie.)
I've gone off to Ireland for a couple of weeks! My friend Richardβyou remember him? He came to our anniversary party last year. Long hair, bushy eyebrows, smells like menthol? β contacted me and wanted to know if I wanted to go backpacking with him across Ireland, Wales and Scotland!
Of course, I said yes! See you in two weeks!
Love,
Jonathan
Perfect! I squealed. No overbearing, rotten, no-good husband to spoil my fun. As far as I was concerned, he could just stay over there.
I ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, took a nice, hot shower. The water felt so good on my awaked skin. What humans don't know is that a week-long rest, like the one I took, makes a girl vamps skin absolutely glow! I felt so revitalized as I lathered myself up with a lavender soap and a honeydew shampoo.
I set my mind to shaving after my shower was over. I carefully shaved my legs, admiring my long, slender thighs. I massaged my feet and scrubbed off any rough skin. I then moved to my pubic area, shaving a cute, little heart into my black hair. I was so excited by the evening that was unfolding inside my head, and the naughtiness I was certain to get into, that I played with my clit while shaving. It was throbbing as I did so, and I allowed myself a small orgasm. But what I really wanted to do was fuck. And fuck hard!
After I finished grooming, I flung open the doors to my pride and glory: my wardrobe.
I thumbed through short dresses, long dresses, tight shirts, long-sleeved shirts, halter tops, skirts, socks, boots. You name it, I've got it.
I couldn't decide between my purple skater dress, or my black balloon sleave mini dress. On the one hand, the halter top style of my skater dress shows off my shoulders and my small but perky breasts. And I have well defined, feminine shoulders. On the other hand, though, my balloon sleave mini dress hides my lithe frame, hinting at what's underneath.
I was on the verge of calling my good friend Wendy and getting her advice, but I thought better of it. She'd ask where I was going, and the last think I wanted was to give Wendy the impression that I'm a slut. Which I am, but that's beside the point.
I ultimately chose the balloon dress. I picked a white string bikini. It shows off my ass, and it also sits low enough on my pubic area, and is just sheer enough, to hint at my heart shaped box.
For my bra, I went with a blood red demi bra because it shows off my petite breasts and cleavage.
And, to top off my sexiest look, I chose my ultra-feminine, black platform boots. The high heel on these boots makes me feel powerful. I imagine myself stepping over some hunky man's body, crushing his balls beneath my heel. (Take deep breaths, Mavis. Deep breaths.)
Last was my hair and makeup. I have beautiful porcelain vampire skin. I do not wear much makeup, but decided on a gentle, light pink, sparkling lipstick. I also gave myself a subtle cat eye, and with my naturally long lashes, I looked like a snack! An entire meal, even.
For my hair, I blow dried it, thus bringing out the tousled texture. My hair is should length now, black as a raven, with loose waves, giving me a sexy seductress look. I think the boys, and girls, and werewolves, mummies, blobs, ghouls, and vampires will love me!
Now I come to the moment we've all been waiting for. Or, rather, just me. Since this is just a diary entry and absolutely nobody will ever read it. I'm certain of that.
There was a new nightclub over in Cluj-Napoca, Transylvania's largest and most posh city. The club, called, Dacia, catered to monsters of all kinds. It was said it tolerated humans, but it wasn't a club for them. There are always the fetishists, who are allowed inside, but the monster clubs keep tight control over how many humans they let into their cherished spaces.
It's a long four-hour drive from my castle to Club Dacia. Good thing I'm a bad ass shape-shifting vampire. My commute was going to take me, at most, one hour, as the bat flies.
I locked my castle front door and shape-shifted into a beautiful, sleek bat and flapped away. I occupied my mind by enjoying the shadows of the trees below me, created by a silvery, full moon. The air was crisp, the night sounds were plentiful, and below me the elm, oak, and ash trees stood as sentinels to the black forests that lay thick between my home and the lights of the big city.