Author's Note: All characters are over the age of 18. This story is a work of fiction. Please do not republish on other platforms without my express permission. Constructive criticism is welcomed.
Sincerely apologetic. Sorry if I mess up Xeltan's speech patterns. I'm not used to speaking Elcor!
With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy!
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"This...I...will speak with her."
Jane lets out an exasperated sigh as she watches the Elcor diplomat shuffle away. So much for shore leave. She had been running around the past couple days trying to fix General Septimus' little disinformation campaign against Sha'ira and it was exhausting.
"Everything alright back there," asked Jane as she contacts Joker. As tired as she was, there were still some things which needed to be handled.
The impish face of the Normandy pilot appears as replies. "Oh, hi, commander. Enjoying your shore leave?"
"You're a regular comedian, Joker. Clearly not. Just give me the report."
"Well...the parts that we're looking for need to be signed off by a commanding officer, you, and there are some delays with the supplies too because the Turians are hogging the supply chains..."
Jane groans. "Of course. This day just gets better and better."
"Heh, yeah. That's life, I guess."
"Anyways. Let's change the subject. Did you check out the link I sent you?"
Joker looks around and leans towards the holo monitor as he whispers, "Yeah, I did. There's an Asari on page 4 who looks like she'd be good."
"The acrobatic one? Hah! I knew you'd like her! You know, she says on her profile that she's a contortionist too. Maybe you can convince her to bend back-"
"Ahem! Yes, yes, I can certainly get those parts for you, commander!"
Jane chuckles as she sees Joker swear under his breath as a crew member walks by.
"Alright. Relax. I'll be right there."
The commander was bent over as she pointed to the screen while Joker typed. After a while, she straightens her back.
"Ugh, finally done. I feel like my eyes are gonna fall out," groaned Jane as she runs her hand through her fiery locks. "I need a stiff drink after all this."
Joker opens his mouth, but she cuts him off. "Don't."
"Aww, come on! You're practically baiting me!"
"I'm baiting you? Really, Joker? I'm done here so I'll be going now."
"Oh, ok. Thanks a lot, mam. But..."
Jane stops and turns back arching her eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Um...so my day off is tomorrow and I don't have enough credits for...uh...for...uh...her..."
"Joker," begins the commander as she crosses her arms. "Are you asking me for credits?"
"Uh...shit! It sounded less ridiculous in my head."
"What have you been spending it on?"
"Well...I might have gambled it away...again," replied the sheepishly pilot as he scratches his chin.
Jane facepalmed. "Joker..."
"Sorry, I was just feeling it, you know? I couldn't just stop when I'm on a roll."
"...maybe next time, save up your money and try not to blow it all. Good night, Joker."
"Yeah...I get it. You too, commander..."
She gives him an amused smile before walking away. Jane found the first bar and entered it eager to get a drink. As she sat in the chair, she realized she was at the Chora's Den again.
"Heh, I can't seem to avoid this place, can I?"
The human commander was glad she could finally unwind. As she gulped the concoction, Jane lets out a satisfied sigh feeling her muscles relax.
"Fancy seeing you here again."
She looks over to see a familiar face. "Hm? Oh, General Septimus. Still hanging around here, huh?"
The Turian general slips into the seat next to her. "Well, I was waiting on a certain human commander to update me on a sensitive matter."
"Sorry, I just met with Xeltan and gave him the proof. I was going to message you later."
"Yeah and how did he take it?"
"Not too well. He seems to think your credibility is impeachable."
He chuckles as he takes a drink. "What a fool! Those Elcor are so gullible! You know he was the easiest to deceive. He left his data pad out in the open and it was like taking candy from a child!"
"Oh, is that right? You just took it from him like that," prodded Jane as she took a sip from her own glass. It seems the general spent the whole day drinking, though he was very good at hiding it.
"Of course! When you've lived as long as I have, you pick up on certain things. Stick with me, commander, and maybe I'll share some with you," said the Turian with a wink.
"Maybe I should. I'm sure you have a lot to offer," Jane shoots back with a coy smile.
"Haha, smart girl! There's some things only an experienced player like myself can do that others cannot!"
"Like framing an unsuspecting Elcor and getting revenge on a famous Asari consort in one fell swoop?"
Septimus throws his head back as he roars with laughter while his right hand slaps her shoulder. "You know me so well now, Shepard! Should I be afraid?"
"Oh, me? I would think not! There's little I could do against someone as decorated as you."
Jane wouldn't normally put up with all this bullshit, but for one, she was tired. Two, he probably had a lot of intel and he was in a talkative mood. Three, she felt like teasing him.
It was fairly easy to get Septimus going as she had to act naive. He even paid for her drinks too, not wanting to lose a captive audience. As the night went on, he moved closer and closer. His hand was on her left thigh as he leaned in to whisper to her about his top secret missions against the Krogan.