"The signal was mostly for generic humanitarian aid. Our plan should be to go down there and settle any issues we can on the ground, then evac anybody in need of more serious medical aid. Samara, you and Liara are coming with. Depending on how long the sender has been down there, we're going to need a soft hand at best and the ability to sedate at worst."
Liara gave a sort of nervous half-nod while Samara gave a casual salute.
"If I may, commander" Shepard was past the point of jumping when she suddenly heard Kasumi's voice behind her. "The signal was more than just aid. It's contradictory, calls for a lot of things at once. Either whoever sent it doesn't know what they're doing, or their console is broken."
Shepard didn't even turn, watching the expressions of her crew to gauge how Kasumi's face changed behind her, "Then, either way, I guess we'll need you along as well."
A couple of her crewmates winced, after a moment, Kasumi sighed from behind her.
"I was really hoping you wouldn't say that."
"Dismissed!"
By the time Shepard had turned to grab a helmet, Kasumi had slipped back into being invisible. There was nothing actually forcing her to be there, if Shepard didn't headcount before dropping, she could reasonably slip out before they took off. Even then, if Shepard did do a roll-call and she wasn't there, it was basically impossible to find her if she didn't want to be found.
But it was a question of trust. And Shepard trusted her.
***
It was a bone-rattling, teeth-clacking landing, but the Mako's supports made sure it wasn't a lethal one.
Initial entry pushed the cabin hot, the shuttle getting as close to orbit as it could without being snagged out of the air and folded like paper. With Metgos, that still wasn't very close. There were a few moments of compelling, lightheaded weightlessness, then pressure and gravity snapped against them and tried to jerk their skulls from their necks. Shepard heard the whine and felt the momentary biotic flex of Liara and Samara straining. She could feel her teeth digging into her mouthguard unconsciously, the taste of plastic and metal filling her mouth. Scientifically, if she were to start cursing, it would provide her a sort of euphoric effect that would have made the pain more tolerable. More scientifically, her tongue was glued to the bottom of her mouth, and opening her jaw would have likely pulled it off of her skull.
They went nose-down until impact compensation needed to level out, and the pressure slowly moved from head-on to pressing on top of them. As they got closer to the ground, it got worse. Each foot toward solid earth another few billion atoms of gas press down from the top of the atmosphere trying to reach the core. A small, dense planet covered in a soup of poison. Not much that could survive out here, but the signal hadn't been crashed vessel, it had been colony distress. Well... that and crashed vessel, according to Kasumi.
They slammed into the ground, impact compensation squealing. For a single moment, they were a thousand-ton bouncing ball, synthetic rubber straining against the surface. Then they snapped back against the ground and everybody nodded in involuntary unison as the restraints gave them back control of their necks, only to strain under the newly equalizing pressure.
"Status report?" Shepard groaned, leaning her neck to either side and shuddering at how loud the pops were.
"Undamaged," Samara reported back with more pain in her voice than she was letting on. Her usually incompletely-zipped zipper had slid another few inches, but she seemed otherwise unharmed.
"Similarly shaken but unharmed," Liara added.
"I think I messed myself," Kasumi groaned.
"Oh?" Liara asked, sounding embarrassed for her, "I assure you, it's p-perfectly natural. In zero gravity, the blood rushes to your head, causing a diuretic effect that when aided by newfound pressure-"
"I was kidding, Blue," Kasumi sighed.
"O-oh, I-" Liara trailed off for a moment, "Wait, if I'm Blue, what is Samara's code name?"
"Big Blue."
"Really? I don't believe that she is much larger in stature-"
Kasumi shimmered into half-visibility long enough to hold her hands in front of her chest like an overworked handbra. "Big Blue."
Samara watched without her expression changing from the same flat, focused face that she usually wore. "Hilarious."
Kasumi shimmered back out of focus as Samara tugged her zipper back into not-quite-right place. Shepard leaned forward and opened the comms.
"Landing party to Normandy, we're-"
The comms exploded with noise. Somewhere, in the distant background, she could hear Joker fighting interference and competing signals but he couldn't get a word in edgewise.
Using general comms, with an atmosphere like Metgos, there was always going to be some pretty intense interference. However, on top of the nuclear hum, the distress signal they had responded to sounded a hundred times louder and more clearly than before. Shepard got an earful of what Kasumi had been talking about before she turned it off and opened the shortwave personal comms to Joker. Distress signals, about eight or nine of them, all in the same voice and seemingly from the same source, were bouncing off of each other and cutting each other off, turning everything into a word slurry that succeeded in being very loud, but failed in making any sort of point.
"Joker, you read? Main comm channels down on the planet's surface are unusable. Keep official chatter on shortwave for the time being."
"Yeah, I noticed. I'm starting to lean on the whole "broken distress console" idea."
"What was the base transmission code and frequency?"
"Signal is commercial, no frequency base on the planet, it was bounced shortwave off of a satellite currently orbiting the planet and transferred to broadwave."
"So why is it the loudest thing in the galaxy down on the surface?"
"Could be both shortwave and broadwave, and we're feeling the wrath of it now." Kasumi mused.
"The satellite's orbit entered the last stage of decay right around the time you guys dropped. Keep your ears peeled for the sound of it crashing into the ground, should be any second now."
"Once it does crash, we'll either be left with a shortwave signal trackable from the Normandy or a broadwave signal trackable on the surface," Kasumi reported.