Married with Children: Al's Vacation Ch. 1
Al Bundy entered his home tired and very upset with the shoe business, the mall, and the fat women. He was very disgruntled. He slammed the door as he entered to find his wife Peggy sitting and watching television and eating Bon Bon's(tm). He felt a new form of hatred for his wife. He slaved all day to support her and the children, while they did absolutely nothing to contribute to the family. Bud his only son, couldn't get laid to save his life, while his daughter Kelly, well that was all she did. She was a persistent flunky at school and barley could spell her name, but by God she was hot. Al had noticed Kelly ever since her thirteenth birthday and knew that she was destined to spend her life on her back with her legs in the air.
Still Al felt no remorse for any of them. Bud couldn't even have the decency to mow the lawn while Al worked; he simply stayed in his room with Al's porno books and jerked himself into oblivion. Al approached the couch and seated himself beside Peggy who drew her attention away from the screen long enough to say "Hi Al." Al, never responded, only sat there awaiting a dumb question from his wife. Peggy sat there engrossed in her show.
Al noticed she was wearing black spandex pants and a floral button up top. While it was true in her day, Peggy was the biggest whore in school. Al felt lucky to have her even if she didn't do anything, and always wanted sex, which with all his worrying and lack of career status, his sex drive was in the dumps and had been so for years. He'd always wondered what kept Peggy happy. Al knew better than ask what was for dinner, anytime he gave her money, she shopped for clothes and needless junk like that damn Tubro, god of money doll she'd spent seventy five dollars for.
Al rose from the couch and found the kitchen and looked through almost empty cabinets and found nothing. His stomach was rumbling and he was indeed hungry. Al's attention was drawn to the living room where Peggy stood and straightened her clothes and proceeded up the stairs. Out of curiosity maybe she'd dropped a Bon Bon(tm) between the couch cushions. Al stealthily crept to the living room and quickly removed the couch cushions and to his wondering eyes appeared a ten-dollar bill lying all-alone. Al happily picked up the money and pocketed it and yelled to Peg that he was going out.
Al left the house and was immediately greeted by his good friend Jefferson Darcy. The two exchanged greetings and Al said "Jefferson, would you like a beer? My treat!" Jefferson took a step back and was amazed at Al's newfound generosity. Jefferson quickly accepted and Jefferson and Al were off to the store for twelve cold ones. Al quickly purchased the beer and began funneling them down Jefferson's throat until he was buzzing a great deal. Al inquired if he could borrow Jefferson's video camera for a day or so. In his current state of mind yes was the only answer that would form on his semi intoxicated lips.
Jefferson quickly entered his house and retuned quickly with the video camera. He handed it off to Al, as Marcy bellowed Jefferson's name from the top of their staircase. Al peered in to see Marcy wearing a cowboy hat, a nipple less bra and a g-string. Damn Al thought she was hot too. Her smile faded quickly seeing Al standing there as she simply said "Hi Al." and turned and walked up the stairs saying "C'mon Jefferson, time to play!"
Al and Jefferson chitchatted for a few moments more when Marcy still wearing her cowboy outfit flung the door open. She said "Alright you boys can suck each others dicks later. I've got a need for Jefferson's big cock right now! Bye Al." Marcy quickly snatched Jefferson by the collar of the shirt inside and closed and locked the door behind them, leaving Al standing on the stoop.
With the Annoyances gone, Al could now think. Where could he place this camera while he worked where Peggy would never find it? The moment of awakening had struck Al like a bold from above. The Kitchen he thought. He quickly eased back to his house, it was getting kind of dark now and the kids would be home soon and God only knew what Peg was doing. Al entered through the garage and eased into the living room behind the couch. Peg had resumed her spot on the couch and was in a mindless dull. He tip toed behind her and eased into the kitchen unnoticed. He sat the camera on top of the cabinets. He aimed it directly at the front door. He peered through the lens and could readily see the front door, the couch, the stairs and the screen leading out to the yard. Perfect he thought.
Al got down quietly and eased out the back door and went around the house. Al entered the front door and said "Hello Peg, keeping the couch in place?" Peg returned with "No Al, are you keeping the failures of America with a poster boy?" Al felt like he should smack the hell out of her, but decided now wasn't the time. Al said, "Well Peg, I'm off to bed. Gotta work tomorrow and need a little extra sleep." Peg never looked up and replied "Night Al." As al ascended the steps, he retrieved the remote control from his pocket and hit record on the Video camera and proceeded up the stairs.
Morning came far to quickly for Al; he stumbled out of bed and took his morning piss. He quietly dressed and descended the stairs and quickly found his precious camera unmoved from the night before. He climbed atop a chair and removed the tape inside and placed it in his jacket and placed a new on inside the camera. He hit the timer to go off and begin recording at eight am. He got down and repositioned the chair and made sure he'd left no footprints on the counter top.
