This is my first attempt at a celebrity story. Hope you like it.
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My buddy Dave and I were over at his place for another Monday night ritual. Watching WWE Raw. We sat there and commented on the angles and storylinesVince McMahon had concocted for his wrestlers. The always mouth-watering Lita came on screen and we both perked up. As we commented on the things we'd like to do to Lita that had nothing to do with wrestling, our girlfriends rolled their eyes. They were used to us talking like this whenever she came on screen. She was without a doubt our favorite WWE Diva.
"I'd do her." I said to Dave, matter-of-factly, and not for the first time.
"Oh hell yeah." he agreed with me. "Like that." he said snapping his fingers.
The show went to commercial and Dave headed to the fridge to fetch us two cold beers. Our girlfriends were not big wrestling fans like we were, but they watched for guys like Edge, Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw and my girlfriend's favorite, The Undertaker. As Dave came back into the room I was pointing at the TV. "Dude, check it!"
The commercial on TV was by the local radio station, apparently the WWE was going to be in town next month for a live broadcast of Raw. The radio station was holding a contest. Every morning they'd ask a WWE trivia question and the first person to call in with the correct answer would win two tickets to the show. At the end of a two-week period a grand prize winner would be randomly drawn from the ticket winners, and that person and a guest would get to spend the day after the event with the WWE wrestler of their choice.
Dave looked at me and grinned. Out of all our friends we knew a hell of a lot about wrestling.
"You know who I'm picking if I win," Dave said.
"Lita!" we both said.
Ever since her days as Miss Congeniality in ECW, I always had a thing for Amy Dumas (Lita's real name). And when she came to the WWE (back when it was still the WWF) as the valet of first Essa Rios and then The Hardy Boyz, I had a new appreciation for her. And realized how hot she really was.
We had missed that mornings trivia question, but we made a deal that if either one of us won, we would invite the other one. For the next week, I listened to the radio every morning and tried to call in, but was unsuccessful. I knew the answers, but so did other people and they called in before I could. As week two wound down Dave and I realized that we might not win the tickets as he never got through to the station either. The next morning that was all about to change. Thursday morning I got out of the shower and turned on the radio waiting for the trivia question.
"And here is today's trivia question for two tickets to the live taping of WWE Raw next Monday...."
"Just ask it already!" I said to the radio as I got dressed.
"What was the name of the character Hulk Hogan played in the movie
Rocky III
? Once again, what was the name of the wrestler Hulk Hogan played in
Rocky III
?"
I practically dove on the phone. I had the radio station on AutoDial and hit the button. And then I felt butterflies in my stomach as I got through! I turned down my radio as the DJ got on the line.
"Ok, what's your name man?"
"Tony." I said, breathless.
"Okay, Tony, now for two tickets to next Mondayβs taping of WWE Raw, answer this question. What was the name of Hulk Hogan's character in the movie
Rocky III
?"
I smiled confidently and said "Thunderlips."
"That's right, you've just won two tickets to next Mondayβs taping of WWE Raw and are automatically entered in our drawing for you and a friend to spend the day after the event with the WWE star of your choice. Any idea who you'd like to spend the day with?"
Again I smiled, "Lita. She is my absolute favorite!"
"Well we'll see tomorrow." he put me on hold for a moment, "Remember folks the drawing will be tomorrow afternoon at 5pm, during the Drive at 5 show." He then started the next song, and transferred me over to the contest department. I gave them my full name, address and phone number so they could FedEx me my tickets.
My phone rang three seconds after I hung up.
"I just heard!" Dave said, "So you're taking me right?"
"Of course," I said, "A deal's a deal."
"And if you win a day with a WWE superstar we're spending the day with Lita right?"
"You even have to ask?"
"You are the fuckin' man."
However, I did have to go to work, so I said goodbye to Dave and headed out the door. That night as we watched WWE SmackDown! We discussed all the things we would ask Lita if I won the grand prize. The next morning my tickets arrived, and I had the day off from work. (I worked an irregular schedule, and got odd days of the week off.) That afternoon at 5pm I sat through a ten song set before they announced the winner. My heart sunk when my name was not the name they called out. But the winner had five minutes to call in. After another two song set the winner they announced hadn't called in and they said the guy had missed his chance. My heart sped up.
"Our new grand prize winner is...Tony Sal--" I was dialing before they finished telling me I had five minutes to call. As I claimed my prize I was put on the phone with a rep from the WWE to confirm which wrestler me and Dave wanted to spend the day with. When I told him Lita he told me he would clear her schedule for Tuesday so she could spend the day with my buddy and I.
I heard a knock at the door and there was Dave with a shit-eating grin on his face. "You are my new God!" he said. "We get to spend the day with Lita!"
The two weeks until the show passed way too slowly. Dave and I spent the whole two weeks planning for the Tuesday after the show (and I had managed to get off working that day). The Monday night of the show finally arrived and we sat ringside and watched Raw live. It was another good show. Before the show the rep from the WWE told us to wait in our seats after the show was over. When the show was over and the arena cleared out the rep came back down to our seats and told us to follow him. He gave us VIP passes and invited us backstage. We walked past the wrestlers and were introduced as the contest winners. I couldn't believe that Dave and I were shaking hands with Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, the Big Show, Booker T, Trish Stratus and a whole host of others. Finally we stopped outside Lita's locker room. The rep knocked.
"Come in." We heard Lita say. He opened the door and the site that met us made our jaws drop. Lita was wearing the same thing she had worn for her match that night. A blue halter top under a red fishnet shirt, her black baggy JNCO jeans, with a blue thong showing and her boots. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and the dragon tattoo on her shoulder grinned at us.
"Lita, this is Tony and Dave. They won the radio station contest. I figured you'd like to meet them before you spent tomorrow with them."
"Thanks Brad," she said, "Give me a minute." The rep made a face, "But Miss Dumas, Mr. Ross said--"
"I'm a big girl, Brad." she said, "If Jim Ross has a problem with it he can come see me."
Brad reluctantly left the two of us alone with Lita; she smiled at us as we stood there nervous as two schoolboys. "If you boys don't say something I'm going to be real disappointed."
"Sorry," I said finally finding my voice, "But I--we've waited a long time for this moment. We are your biggest fans."
"Yeah," Dave said, locating his voice as well. "I've followed your career since you came to the WWF."
"I remember you from your days as Miss Congeniality in ECW." I said. "The first time I saw you I thought to myself, 'She is a babe'."
Lita laughed, "Well I'm flattered. And I hope you boys are ready for a busy day tomorrow. However that Brad twerp is gonna have to be there, so..." she grinned wickedly "...we'll have to find a way to loose him. I hate being confined to someone else's schedule."
Well Dave and I had spent our whole lives in the city and we told her we knew side streets and back doors to get away from Brad. She grinned again. She gave each of us a hug and kiss on the cheek before we left the arena.
The next morning at 9am a Limo showed up at my door. Lita herself knocked on my door while Brad stood frowning from the limo. She was wearing a zebra striped top, her black jeans, a zebra striped thong showing (she always wears her thongs showing for those of you that don't follow wrestling), and a pair of sneakers. We headed back to the limo that Vince McMahon had provided for the day and I gave the directions to Dave's house, which was just two blocks up from mine.
We talked to Lita about her career, and she told us to call her Amy. "Away from the ring and the cameras I'm just Amy." she said.
"So was that relationship with Matt Hardy real?" Dave asked. Dave liked Jeff Hardy and hated Matt.
"For a while it was, but when they broke up the Hardy Boyz, he and I started travelling on different schedules since I'm on Raw and he's on SmackDown."
"Good," Dave said, "I always hated that clownshoe."
Lita's laugh made her magnificent tits bounce inside her top, "Clownshoe?! That's great."