Live Without Regrets

She woke up slowly. It wasn't a scary thing, but something had changed. Instinctually, she reached out for him. She found empty space and a cold pillow.

Hayden rolled over. Brandon was gone. She turned quickly. It was hard to see in the darkness. She heard a low scrape. It was a drawer sliding open. She sat up and rubbed her eyes to try and see a shadow in a shadow.

"Brandon?" she said.

He said back in a whisper, "Hey, I'm sorry. I was trying not to wake you."

"What are you doing?" Hayden asked, still talking to a barely visible boyfriend.

"They need me at the lab.

Adventure

's got a wheel issue and they want me to take a look."

"It's 2:30 in the morning," Hayden said.

"It's just past noon on Acidalia Planitia," Brandon said.

Hayden groaned and laid back down.

"Ugh, you do not get paid enough to be on call at this time of night."

"Sweetie, there's a robot on Mars that needs my help," Brandon said.

Hayden gave a low huff, "There's a girl in this bed who needs your help."

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm badly in need of someone to keep my back warm and fuck me after sunrise," she said.

Brandon sighed, "You know I would if I could."

Hayden nodded and watched him dress. "Okay, not gonna lie... you being all smart and devoted to your work... it's not bad. Like, I hate you for waking me up, but, bit of a turn-on."

He smiled at her. Her eyes had adjusted enough to see.

"I'll be back by lunchtime," he said.

"You big liar," she said, grinning at him. "They'll need you for something nerdy and the only thing you love more than me is your big, dumb, space robots."

He moved to kiss her. She drank him in. Holding his face. Part of her wanted to see if she could make him stay. It was just a game, but she liked playing it.

He gave a tiny moan as he pulled away, "Fuck. That is not fair."

She giggled at his agony.

He smiled at her minxy grin. "We've been through this. I'm married to my work. Which makes you the girl I'm cheating with. Which is why this is so fucking hot."

She nodded, "What cheesy sci-fi movie did you steal that from?" she said, pulling the covers back over her breasts.

"The Core," he said, putting on a pair of socks.

"You know, I've never dated an office-type guy before. My exes were athletes, actors."

"I'm very aware that I'm the lucky one in this relationship, sweetie," he said.

She shook off the self-deprecation, "No, I just meant..." she trailed off.

"What?" he asked, touching her face to bring her back.

"Never mind," she said, curling back up. She pulled the pillow he'd been using into her back. "Come back when you're done. Even if you're tired. I want you here."

He nodded, "Go back to sleep, mi amore."

She closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead. There was no good way to sneak out of a girl's bedroom in the middle of the night, but she liked how he tried anyway.

***

A shower, a scrambled egg, and a warm cup of tea and she had a new outlook on life. Yes, it was annoying that her boyfriend's job was interfering with her weekend, but she had other entertainments.

She went through her morning yoga with some Beyonce playing in the background. After she'd meditated for a bit in child's pose, her phone buzzed.

"Hey, Kristen. Que pasa?"

"Nada mucho," Kristen answered. "I wanted to see if you and your nerd boy wanted to do dinner tonight."

Hayden sighed apologetically, "That sounds fun, but he might be wiped. He had to go to the office last night. Something about the robot needing help. I didn't catch most of it. I think he'll be done this afternoon, but sometimes it takes a while and sometimes he's the walking dead when he gets back."

"Bummer," Kristen said. "Are you enjoying dating a normie?"

Hayden laughed a bit and nodded into the phone, "Yeah. He's still cute as a button. And I like that when he goes out at 3 a.m. it's not for a club opening."

"Very true," Kristen said.

"Still, I hate that he has to spend a perfectly good Saturday tied to a desk," Hayden said, looking out at her backyard.

"Eh, what are you gonna do?" Kristen asked. "You wanna get lunch somewhere?"

Hayden paused. The half-formed thought from last night finally clicked into place. Kristen heard nothing but silence.

"Hayden?" Kristen asked.

"Tied to a desk..." Hayden said.

"Hayden?"

"Yeah... sorry. Um... I think I'm gonna have a little fun. Can I call you this afternoon?" Hayden asked.

Kristen laughed, "I know that tone. Don't mess with him while he's working."

"Oh, I'm

so

gonna mess with him while he's working. You wanna talk me out of it, or you want to hear the details later?" Hayden asked.

"Definitely the details one," Kristen said.

"Bye, babe," Hayden said.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Kristen said.

"No promises," Hayden said, and hung up.

She walked back to the closet, shucking out of her yoga pants. She felt almost dumb for not thinking of this weeks ago, but the stars had aligned today and this was going to be fun.

She entered the walk-in closet wearing nothing but a wicked grin. She thumbed through her sundresses, thinking of what color would be absolutely devastating.

Before she could pick one out, something else caught her eye.

An old leather jacket that she hadn't worn in years. It was black, cute, but not too flashy. She wriggled her nose a bit, rethinking her sundress plan. She pulled it off the hanger and slid it around her arms. The leather felt warm and a little naughty against her bare skin. She got a look at herself in the mirror and knew that this was the right call. The way the sides pulled her breasts apart as a tease. That ripple of bare flesh from neck to waist. She would definitely have his attention.

She zipped up the jacket all the way to her breastbone. There was no need to give away the game right at the start. Now that she had a top, she would need the rest of the outfit.

Her first instinct was to go with a skirt and nothing else. Quick access would be good and she always felt naughty with air against her labia. But Brandon liked her in silk and he might want a souvenir. She slinked into a pair of black panties and admired the lace.

There would surely be other people in the building, so she settled on a sensible, but sexy, pair of jeans and sandals that wouldn't cause problems. She gave herself another turn in the mirror. She unzipped the jacket to see how the fabric clung to her breasts. She could walk without worrying about inadvertent flashing, but she didn't plan to do the big reveal until she was behind closed doors. Carefully, she zipped up the jacket again, primped her hair a bit and smiled into the mirror.

"Roll call, nerd boy," she said, walking out to her car.

***

She'd visited Brandon at his work a few times. Technically she didn't have a pass, but the gate guard knew Brandon, knew her, and liked her smile. Besides, it was a Saturday and she was a pretty unlikely terrorist. She was able to walk into his building without drawing much attention, which was unusual for her.

She liked JPL. It was full of interesting people doing interesting work. Most of them were too busy to notice a movie star in their midst, and the ones who did were usually too shy to ask for an autograph or a selfie, not that she minded giving either.

Brandon's cramped little office was at the end of a long corridor. It gave her warm memories walking down to it. It was where she'd met Brandon in the first place. She ran her finger over the Buzz Lightyear sticker on the door and grinned. She gave a light knock but there was no answer.

Hayden glanced back down the hall, but didn't see any sign of life. He might be in the control room, but she couldn't do what she had in mind there.

She opened the door and poked her head into the darkness. She found the light switch and confirmed that her boyfriend was elsewhere.

His office was cramped and filled with files and books. The walls had posters of planets and spaceships. Hayden admired the toys and legos that adorned his workspace. At the end of his desk she found something new. A framed selfie she'd snapped of the two of them at the beach. She loved how her hair looked as it flowed in the wind. She was hanging on his shoulder, in a piggy back. One arm draped over him, the other holding out the phone to snap the photo. They both looked really happy.

She smiled as she put the photo back down. Part of her wondered if he would be coming back to his office anytime soon. She wrinkled her mouth and frowned. He was probably in the control room, working on some technical problem. Texting him might be too much of an intrusion. She wanted to tease him, not to frustrate him. She pondered whether to write him a notenor just leave. Before she could decide, she heard footsteps coming from down the hall.

Hayden grinned and moved to unzip her jacket a bit, let the air reach her breasts suggestively. Before she could pull the tab, she realized that there were two pairs of footsteps coming. And voices. Brandon's was clear, but he was talking to someone else. She had a flash of panic before she settled on sitting in his chair, facing the door, looking cute, but not scandalous.

When Brandon came past the threshold, he stopped in his tracks. She prided herself on making him do that a lot. His companion was another engineer. A guy about Brandon's age. Brandon was carrying some papers and his coworker had a laptop open. The stranger gave Hayden a heavy look and his jaw dropped.

"Is that...?"

"It is. Maybe go finish that analysis and get the numbers back to Ken. Tell him I'm gonna reanalyze the power data and I'll have something for him," Brandon said.

"Are you sure you don't need some help, because I..."

"I'm sure, Tony. This is Hayden. She's very glad to meet you. If you want, I'll have her sign something... for your wife. Now go do a job," Brandon said.

"Bye, Tony," Hayden said, giving a playful roll of her fingers as Brandon closed the door, leaving Tony in the hall.

She rose from his chair and kissed him as soon as she heard the door latch shut.

"Mmmm," he said, "I love you, but I really do have to work," he said.

She gave a faux pout. She was a good enough actress to sell it, "What? I can't visit my boyfriend at work now?" she giggled.

He smiled and kissed her again, "I've got an hour's worth of work to do in about twenty minutes," he said, slowly pushing her back to reach his chair.

"As pent up as you've gotta be right now, I really don't think I need more than four," she said.

He laughed, "Baby, I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I do not have time to fuck you right now."

She laughed and nodded, "I'm fine just keeping you company. Sit down. I'll be quiet as a church mouse. I swear."

He eyed her warily as she sat down on his desk. She nodded to the laptop on the desk. "Get to work," she said.

He opened it slowly and she relaxed and crossed her legs. She craned her neck and stretched a bit as he started whatever nerdy engineering thing was ruining her Saturday plans. Casually she unzipped her jacket and let the air cool her bare skin.

She didn't have to look down. She could hear his typing come to a sudden stop. The silence spread out to the walls of the room and bounced back.

"Something wrong, sweetie?" she said, still looking up at the dull ceiling tiles. She brought her chin down to face him. Utter devastation swept across his face.

He started to babble something, desperately trying to look her in the eye. But her breasts had been sculpted by some of the finest plastic surgeons in the country. They did their job.

She reached down and pulled the edge of her jacket open a bit, like a cowboy revealing a gun. With her other hand, she cupped his cheek and drew him in. His lips parted just so and she nestled him against her chest. She felt him slowly start to suck her nipple and she purred in satisfaction.

"You can't walk around pent up like this when you need to focus. It's not good for you," she said as she cradled his head and let him lick. The intimacy was almost maternal. She could have passed a polygraph right now saying that she was actually helping him. She felt empathy for her favorite man. He really did need this. She was suddenly very glad she'd come.

A few minutes of light kisses and lovely licks and she gripped his hair softly, pulling him off of her bare chest. A soft kiss in the dim light and she held his eyes with her own.

She whispered as she held him close, "You can have me on your desk, or under it."

He smiled tightly and hesitated. She let him think. His voice was almost plaintive, "Would it be really bad if I wanted you under it?"

She shook her head, "No, sweetheart. It's okay." She pushed him back by the chest and slid down his body, "Keep going. I kinda want to do this while you're working."

Brandon put his hands on the keyboard and Hayden put hers on his thighs. She felt him tense for a beat and she held her pose on her knees. Under his desk it was even more cramped, but girls who were into bondage weren't usually claustrophobic. She felt fine under here.

The clacking of keystrokes told her that he was doing what she'd said. She slid his zipper down and brought out his cock. It was already up and hard and she had to be careful not to hurt him or herself as it sprung to life in front of her face.

Hayden dragged the flat of her tongue from his balls to his tip and heard him moan like a fucking whore as she pleased him. She'd given him a wake-up blowjob every Saturday for the last three months and she would be damned if he didn't get a blowie before the sun set on this day. She made a bowl of her tongue and held his tip against it. The gasping "fuck!" that he gave in reply told her everything she needed to know.

To his credit, he was disciplined enough to make it last. Brandon never missed an opportunity to try and impress her. Whether it was going the extra mile in bed or in the kitchen, or on a date, she knew him to be an over-achiever any chance he got. This was no exception. She slowly bobbed her head back and forth, letting him stay still as she stroked his cock with her lips.

There were times that one of her blowjobs devolved into a hard face fucking. She loved those times. But this was not one of them. Brandon elected to receive and simply let her draw his orgasm out at whatever pace she chose.

Usually he was talkative, and so thankful, when she did this for him. But now, she enjoyed the quiet naughtiness of the moment. He had coworkers down the hall. He really was still diligently working (as best she could tell). She enjoyed playing the temptress for him. Words would have ruined the moment. A good man deserved a blowjob now and then from an eager, loving girlfriend.

When his orgasm came, it was thick and heavy, but sudden. He hadn't warned her. He probably hadn't known himself. She felt him pulse and stiffen and then the first rope coated her tongue. She slid him deep to avoid any chance of spilling and rode his waves. She could taste the need in his flavor. That bottled up desire that she was glad to take for herself.

It was going to be hotter for her not to be fucked, not to have an orgasm right now, but to simply serve and go quietly and demurely. The leather jacket and the minxy demeanor had done their part. But she felt pride and grace as she swallowed. This was her man, he'd clearly needed this and she'd provided it. Of all the forms that love could take, she admitted a fondness for this version.

He rolled his chair back and she looked up at him for the first time in a few minutes. He nodded his thanks and she sat on her ankles and enjoyed the satisfied look on his face. Before he could say anything, there was a knock at the door.

In a flash, she slid back against the back of the desk and he sat forward, closing off her exit. The door to his office opened and she heard a familiar voice at the door.

"SysOps has a new packet," Tony said. Hayden could only hear his voice, but it sounded like he was still standing in the hall.

"I'm almost done here," Brandon said. From the change in light, she could see he was gesturing towards his computer.

"We need to get back down there and see the new numbers when they come in. We might be out of the woods."

"Give me a minute to finish this up," Brandon said. "I'll follow as soon as I'm done."

"Forget that," Tony said. "If the amps are back, you don't need to bother. Let's get down to the control room and see what they're saying."

Brandon paused for a second and Tony looked around.

"What happened to...?"

"She went back to her place. Which is where I should be right now," Brandon said.

Hayden quietly put his cock back in his pants and zipped them up. The girlfriend experience was a full-service thing, after all.

"Let's go," Tony said.

"Just give me a minute. I'll meet you," Brandon said.

Tony didn't reply, but Hayden heard the sound of the door shutting. When Brandon reached down to help pull her up off the floor, she couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm so sorry about that," he said, a mild panic in his eyes.

"Are you kidding? That was so fun," she said, kissing him deeply.

He ran a finger across the corner of her mouth and held it up. She saw his come on it and moved to suck the offending drop into her mouth.

"Goddamn," Brandon said quietly.

"You need to get to the control room. Get your big space robot fixed and then come back home. I have plans for you that involve full frontal nudity," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, in that Southern way that she hated to admit was charming.

She gave a playful swat to his ass as he walked out the door. The look he gave when he turned back was so fucking cute she wanted to squeeze him into a tiny ball and carry him around in her pocket.

Before she left, she playfully took off her jeans and panties. The jeans went back on, but the panties she left in the top drawer of his desk. An easter egg for him to find later.

***

Despite all the attention being on Brandon's cock, Hayden felt very satisfied as she walked back out to her car. The smirk that she had when she started the engine was still there when she got back to her house.

As she pulled into her garage, she felt her phone buzz. Likely a text from Brandon. If it wasn't to say that he was done, it was probably to thank her. Not for the first time she thought of the dichotomy in that he treated her like a goddess outside the bedroom, and fucked her like a bitch inside of it. She grinned and pulled the phone from her purse.

When she saw the notification, all her joy ran out through her toenails.

The text wasn't from Brandon.

It was from Vlad.

"She wants to see you."

Hayden stared at the phone for a beat as another text followed quickly.

"Can you come next weekend?"

She bit her lip, trying to remember if she had any commitments. Before she could pull up her phone's calendar another text came in.

Vlad sent a photo of her walking down a street with Brandon. She recognized it as one TMZ had put out a few weeks ago. She'd never mentioned Brandon to her ex. These days, she and Vlad mostly talked about Kaya, when they talked at all.

The photo he'd sent was followed by another text.

"He seems nice. If it's serious, I'd like to meet him."

She bit her lip now in something more than curiosity. She knew that Vlad could be intimidating. Hell, that was part of his appeal to her in the first place. She'd never introduced Vlad or Kaya to any of the men she'd dated, but Brandon wasn't like any of them.

With Vlad's texts seemingly halted, she checked her phone's calendar. There was nothing major that she couldn't move next weekend. It was a long flight to Poland, but she could manage. But she wasn't sure about Brandon.