Live Without Regrets

**A special thanks to Pixiehoff for all of her assistance with this project!***

Slow dancing with Brandon was everything she'd hoped for. He wasn't the type for clubs and she'd outgrown the party scene years ago, so this wedding was the first time they'd had the chance to really dance with each other.

He held her close and she moved with him. Slow and tender, just like his lovemaking. He felt familiar and warm.

The wedding itself had been fairly predictable. Just some young starlet getting hitched to a studio exec's son. Not interesting in and of itself, but the guest list had several A-listers and she needed the good opinion of a lot of the people in this room. If pressed, she would have admitted that the whole thing was staggeringly boring without alcohol, but fortunately Brandon had found ways to make it more interesting.

Dax and Kristen were floating around. The four of them had ended up at the same table thanks to some sharp-eyed assistant who had been on the ball about the seating arrangements. Hayden was grateful for small blessings.

A ceremony on the beaches of Catalina Island has been one of the things she'd thought about before. She'd been with Brandon long enough now that her daydreams sometimes included seeing him in a tux, pledging his life and love to her as their friends looked on. The backdrop of a Pacific sunset would give it a heavenly glow. She idly thought about what kind of dress she would want, and that's usually when the fantasy came to a crashing halt.

The last time she'd bought a wedding dress, her fiancé had abandoned her before she could wear it. It was enough to give any girl a moment of pause when thinking about her next great romance.

Hayden shook off the bad memory and looked into Brandon's eyes. He swept her into a light dip and she giggled at the motion. She brought her hands up behind his neck and pulled him into a kiss as he put her back on her feet. He grinned and she moved her lips to his ear.

"Let's get some cake," she said.

He nodded and led her off the dance floor as the song ended.

When they got back to the table, she sat down with the tiniest of gasps and smirked at him. She whispered in his ear and he nodded and went to get the cake. A moment later, her eyes rolled back and she purred softly.

Kristen came to sit down next to her and she knew her face had given her away. She blushed in the dim light of the reception hall and Kristen called her out.

"You two are being very naughty," Kristen said.

"We're not hurting anyone," Hayden said, defensively.

"Still, a bit of a risk, don't you think?" Kristen said.

"Only if someone notices," Hayden said.

"Someone noticed," Kristen said, gesturing to herself.

"You don't count," Hayden replied.

"I think that's up to me," Kristen said.

"Oh yeah? You gonna call me on it?" Hayden said, smirking. She bit her tongue softly as a good vibration hit her just right.

"I should," Kristen said.

"Do it," Hayden challenged.

"What kind of girl comes to a wedding with a remote vibrator in her pussy?" Kristen said, staring down her best friend eye to eye.

"Ha!" Hayden said, keeping her voice quiet relative to the music, "They're anal beads... and they... ohhhh... they're the only thing keeping this party interesting right now."

Kristen nodded, "He's got the app on his phone?"

Hayden nodded fast and hard, eyes shut, clearly enjoying being caught.

"I should spank you," Kristen said.

"You absolutely should," Hayden said, not opening her eyes.

"Are you even able to come from those?" Kristen said.

"Not from lack of trying. You wanna help me out?" Hayden said, biting her lip.

Kristen laughed, "You're on your own. Where's your nerd?"

"He's getting us cake. I told him I didn't want to be bored while I waited," Hayden said, rolling her hips and groaning a bit.

Kristen chuckled, "Mission accomplished."

Brandon appeared at that point, carrying two plates with wedding cake. He set down the plates carefully in front of the two women.

"The line was getting kind of long. Glad I went when I did," he said.

At that point, Dax came in from the crowd and Kristen didn't want him to disturb Hayden's pleasure. She put a finger to her husband's chest before he could join them at the table, "Why don't you go get us a couple of pieces?" she said to him. Dax nodded and wandered off.

Kristen smirked at her best friend's boyfriend. She nodded to Hayden who was frozen at the cusp of pleasure in the chair between them, "She's having a good time," Kristen said.

Brandon sheepishly took the phone from his pocket, pressed a few buttons and Hayden whimpered as the vibrations in her anus diminished.

"Why'd you stop?" she pouted.

"Can't let you come right at the table," Kristen said, by way of an explanation.

"Like anyone would notice," Hayden said.

"You're loud when you come," Brandon said.

"No, I'm not," Hayden said, defensively.

"Yes, you are," Brandon and Kristen both said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed.

Hayden liked seeing the two of them agree on that topic. She let them share a bit of mutual embarrassment as she took a bite of cake.

Hayden turned to Brandon, "Kristen likes to fuck me in her daughter's bed while I call her a bad mother."

"Hey!" Kristen said, swatting Hayden on the arm.

Hayden turned to Kristen, "Brandon squeals like a schoolgirl when I put a finger up his ass."

"Nice," Brandon said, flatly mortified.

Hayden kissed her boyfriend on the mouth, "Also both of you like me to play with your nipples."

Kristen and Brandon both groaned and failed to make eye contact with each other. They looked away in silence while Hayden took another bite of cake.

"Do you want to know whether K's strapon is bigger than Brandon's cock?" Hayden asked them, with a Cheshire cat grin.

"Oh, dear God. Turn the beads back on," Kristen begged.

Before she could go on, Brandon dutifully hit the right buttons to give Hayden something else to focus on. The blonde bombshell purred with pleasure as the beads went into action.

"Ohhhh, okay. Mmmm, one of you needs to take me upstairs and fuck me," Hayden declared.

"You wanna take this one, or should I?" Brandon said.

"How about you take this one and I'll get the next one?" Kristen said.

Brandon rose from his seat and took Hayden by the hand. She didn't get up.

"These heels are killing me. I want a piggyback ride," she demanded.

Brandon nodded and shifted his weight a bit. Hayden climbed on his back and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Kristen couldn't help herself. She tapped Brandon on the shoulder before he could carry her away.

"Brandon, don't forget, she likes it when you pull the whole string out all at once. Don't go one bead at a time."

Hayden blew a raspberry at her best friend, then her blushing boyfriend carried her away.

The next morning, Hayden let Brandon sleep in. She had danced and fucked him into exhaustion last night and the poor boy deserved his rest. After a hard sleep cuddled against his soft form, she was invigorated and determined to enjoy the beach for a few hours before they had to head back to the mainland.

In her suitcase, she found the white bikini with the red polka dots. It was one of her favorites. She threw it on, grabbed a towel and some sandals and walked down to the sand. In the warm light of the early morning, she swam out into the surf. It felt good to let the salt water soak her skin and hair. Let the ebb and flow push her around a bit as the ocean did its thing. She liked the feeling of being a very small speck in a very large ocean. There was no danger here. Not from sharks or photographers.

She liked feeling small. She liked feeling small and safe at the same time. It was how she always felt next to Brandon.

Making her way back to shore, she spotted Kristen coming down from the hotel. Her bestie was carrying a chair and a bag, wearing a bikini that left very little to the imagination. Hayden settled low in the water, watching Kristen set up a spot. When she was seated, Hayden gave her a catcall whistle and popped up out of the water.

"A suit that small, you might as well go topless, K," Hayden said.

Kristen jumped a little, then laughed and waved her off, "Eh, can't have you being the best looking girl on the beach."

Hayden took a towel from Kristen's chair and started to dry off with it, "Call it a running tie."

"You're down here alone?" Kristen said.

"Brandon needed the rest," Hayden said, casually jutting her chin back towards the hotel.

"Long night?" Kristen asked.

"He's an overachiever," Hayden said, grinning. "Very eager to please."

"I imagine he had to put in a little extra effort last night, after your little spiel at the reception," Kristen said.

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Hayden said.

"I know," Kristen said, flatly.

Hayden giggled at the memory of embarrassing her two lovers.

"Well, it was a good thing he got you out of there. I was about to tell him your Daddy-thing," Kristen said.

Hayden froze. She stopped drying her face and looked at Kristen with a shivering stare.

"Off limits," she said, quietly.

Kristen realized she'd gone too far.

"Hey, hey. I was just kidding. It's fine. I wouldn't..."

"Don't joke about that," Hayden said.

"You said you'd told him..."

"I told him that it was consentual. I didn't tell him that I liked it," Hayden said.

Kristen paused, contemplating that, "You know he wouldn't judge. Hell, he'd probably be into it."

"That's not..." Hayden started, "If I just use 'being pretty' as a way to get everything I want, then he's not a boyfriend, he's a vending machine."

Kristen nodded, "I'm glad you get that."

Hayden tossed the towel back to Kristen, "Besides, the sex is plenty good without getting into my more fucked-up fetishes."

"There's something you're not thinking about," Kristen said, looking up at Hayden.

"What's that?"

"If you can't be honest with him, totally honest, then what's the point of any of this?" Kristen asked.

Hayden sighed, "There's a time and place for everything in a relationship. I think the right time for saying, 'I was an incest whore' is when I'm on my death bed."

"You're not an..."

Hayden put up a hand, "Leave me my shame, K. You already know how much I enjoyed the sex with my father. Let's not pretend it was something else, okay?"

Kristen dropped the subject and followed Hayden's gaze. Together they looked towards the hotel and saw Brandon and Dax coming down to the shore. Brandon was carrying a chair and an umbrella and a cooler and looked every bit like an overloaded pack mule. Dax's shirt was already off and he seemed oblivious to the burdens being carried by his companion.

The two men made their way down to the girls. Kristen berated her husband lightly for not lending more of a hand to Brandon. As Brandon put down his various loads, Hayden swirled around him.

"Did you bring my...?"

"Fruit snacks," Brandon said, holding up a bag, "Right here, babe. You know I've got you covered."

Hayden beamed at him, tearing open the pack and biting into one.

"Thank you..." she caught herself before adding the 'Daddy' on to the end of that sentiment.

Brandon peeled off his shirt and walked down towards the water. She turned to watch him go. His dad bod was in full effect and she loved watching him go.

A few days later, the familiar routines had been restored. Brandon still rose early for his job at JPL. If Hayden saw him at all in the morning, it was only for a goodbye kiss. An actress was entitled to her beauty sleep and most of Hayden's work these days didn't begin too early. Sometimes she would make him an egg or a cup of coffee if she found herself awake, but more days than not, she didn't rise until after he was already at the office.

Brandon had fallen behind schedule a bit this morning. He had somehow managed to sleep through his first alarm and had only woken from the second. As a result, he had to scramble a bit to run through his usual hygiene.

When he emerged from the shower, he wasn't able to locate the new pack of razors that he'd put out the night before. Unbeknownst to him, Hayden had moved them behind her skin cream and he was always reticent to disturb her countertop apothecary.

Searching elsewhere, Brandon tried the medicine cabinet, only to discover not the razors, but a mostly-empty bottle of Obsession, by Calvin Klein. He hadn't seen a bottle like that in years. There was a small coat of dust near the base, but it was still a quarter way full.

Scrambling to get out the door without further delay, Brandon decided that a single-day's growth of beard wouldn't cause much of a problem. He decided that a few dabs of the Obsession might be enough of a distraction to keep anyone from noticing. Unsure of the chemistry involved, he settled for a light splash on either side of his neck, gently set the bottle on the countertop, and then got out of there as quickly as possible.

Hayden awoke with an immediate sense that something was different. It took her a moment to sort out reality from the dreamscape she had so recently left. Her body was giving her feelings of arousal. Her brain was firing all kinds of sense-memories into her cortex. She remembered her old childhood home. Evenings at her parents' dinner table. The feeling of a black leather belt strapping her hard across her creamy white ass cheeks.

"Oh, what the fuck?" she said, aloud, as the memories crashed through her brain. Her hips bucked almost against her will. She chose not to fight the urge as she reached between her thighs and felt the warm wetness that had gathered in her core.

As she so often had in her younger days, she rolled over, onto her chest, letting her hand take responsibility for her arousal. She didn't want the Hitachi in the nightstand. Didn't need the dildo in the drawer. She wanted to do this the old fashioned way. Her ass rose into the air and she moaned softly into the empty room. Her eyes shut tight and she imagined cotton panties around her ankles.

"Please, Daddy. I'll be good," she said.

She bucked at the memory of that black leather belt working her so hard. The sharp fire that cut into her milky flesh echoed down decades of memory. She let the daydream take control as she cried out in a hazy mix of pain and pleasure.

"Daddy..." she moaned, feeling her fingertips work her inside and out. She strummed her clitoris and pumped her fingers in her core. The wetness gathered and she felt shame and sex mix together in a lovely little maelstrom.

"Harder..." she cried, feeling the fullness inside her. The clash of taboo and temptation fought in her brain, with her body as the battleground. Soon enough the orgasm was upon her. When it came, just as always, she didn't resist.

"Daddy..." She screamed again, letting the wave crash over her. The built up flood of energy cascaded through her limbs in a ripple of ecstasy. She soaked the topsheet as the rush of endorphins filled her muscles and mind. The orgasm was powerful, but somehow not enough. She blinked back a few tears as she tried to understand what had just happened.

The smell in the air was very familiar. She didn't need to investigate to know what it was. What she didn't understand was where it had come from, or why.

Padding into the bathroom, she spotted the bottle of Obsession out of place. Brandon must have used it, but he couldn't have known... could he?

If this was intentional, it could only have one source. She grabbed her phone and called Kristen.

"Hay, what's up?"

"Did you tell him about the cologne?" Hayden asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kristen, don't fuck with me. Did you tell Brandon about the fucking cologne?" Hayden said.

"No. I wouldn't have... No way, sweetie. I wouldn't do that to you. What happened?"

"He used it! It's out on the counter," Hayden said.

"Okay, just calm down," Kristen said.

"Don't tell me to calm down. You were joking around about this last weekend. Did you put him up to this?" Hayden said.

"I really didn't. I swear, babe," Kristen said.

"So, this is just..."

"If I didn't tell him and you didn't tell him, then it's just random. I'm betting he has no idea what that bottle means to you," Kristen said.

"I don't know what to do," Hayden said.

"What do you mean?" Kristen said.

"He's gonna come home smelling like..." Hayden said.

"Ah... yeah... that's..."

"Yeah," Hayden said.

"I think you've got two choices here," Kristen said.

"What are they?" Hayden asked.

"You can either run from it... or you can run headlong into it," Kristen said.

"You think?" Hayden asked.

"You're still thinking about the future with him, right?"

"Yeah," Hayden said.

"Then this, or something like it, was gonna happen sooner or later. Just... let it ride," Kristen said.

"Let it ride?" Hayden asked.

"It's your fantasy. You said yourself that he's always good, giving, and game. You really think that's gonna stop now?"

"I... I don't know. I'm scared," Hayden said.

"Isn't that part of it?" Kristen said.

Despite herself, she gave a single chuckle, "Um... yeah... a little bit," Hayden said.

"I think, when he gets home, give in to the fantasy. Show him what it can be like," Kristen said.

"And after it's done and he says 'what the fuck'?" Hayden asked.

"Then you be honest."

Brandon would come over to her place after work. They'd been doing this long enough that it was implied. He didn't need to call ahead. He had walk-in privileges at this point.

What to wear? A balance had to be struck. Too far in one direction might scare him off. Not far enough and she wouldn't really be able to explore this properly. Twice she stripped off everything and considered calling this whole thing off. But a quick whiff from the bottle of Obsession put her right back into the headspace.

For the third time, she chose her outfit carefully. The unicorn t-shirt hung off her frame. It was threadbare and three-sizes too big for her. She'd used it as a sleep shirt for years. The white cotton briefs were a must for this. They'd been part of the fantasy. She had added in a pair of booty shorts, partially for modesty, partially for the story of it. Given the time of day, she wanted this to feel like after-school, not early morning.

Pigtails would have been too suggestive. They'd have made this whole thing seem more tawdry than taboo. She wanted to feel innocent, not like a slut who was actively trying to look innocent. She opted for a single thick braid that she folded over her shoulder. It was girlish, but it would also give him a firm handle if... well...

when

he needed it.

The lips were a big deal as well. Red was too much. Pink was better. But the right shade of pink was everything. Hot pink was for slutty teenagers. Bubble gum was for good little girls. She let the gloss slide over her lips until they had a perfect sheen. Any more makeup would have just been a distraction. Her face had always been enough for him.

The one part that was non-negotiable were the ruffle socks. White, ankle-high, soft cotton with a lace trim. Putting them on was like a journey into her most fervent memories. They somehow managed to make her feel innocent and naughty at the same time. The material hugged her toes and the arch of her foot. The lace rippled out in random swirls. She felt her body respond to the material and the feel. She stole a look in the mirror and was able to mentally travel back to those nights so long ago.

Her phone buzzed. Daddy was home.

The first thirty seconds would be the most critical. She had to get him to join her in the roleplay without breaking the fourth wall inside her own mind. She had to convince him, instantly, to accept what was happening and not ask too many questions. Looking like a petite, innocent sex kitten would go pretty far. Brandon wouldn't question a blowjob or a deep kiss. But she needed him to buy in for all of it. She needed to control the scene, but still remain submissive.