I hadn't been working at the coffee store for more than a month. It didn't pay much. But I wasn't working there for the money. It was located in the heart of Hollywood. I had always been starstruck. And, like all other movie and television fans, I had my favorites. But there was one in particular. One about whom I was more passionate than you could ever imagine. My dream was to one day meet her, perhaps even speak to her. Then my life would be complete. If I was ever going to bump into her, I thought this would be the place.
I hadn't worked up to barista yet, although our two-week training had included how to make all the drinks. The women managers had me bussing tables and sweeping the floor, getting supplies and washing the windows. They seemed to enjoy the public contact and making the drinks. I didn't mind. It was all the same to me.
During my first month at the coffee store I had seen Charlie Sheen (I would rather have seen Denise Richards), Mariska Hargitay and Anne Heche. Not bad for my first month, I thought. But I still was waiting to see Her, My Goddess.
One Thursday, about eleven in the morning, I was sweeping the floor, right in front of the entrance. I was about to go outside and sweep outside, in front of the door, when a jogger turned from the sidewalk and walked through the threshold and into the store. She was wearing a hoody that was spotted under the arms and down the front from the neck to the midriff. It was hot and she had obviously been running for some time. I couldn't see who it was because of the hood, but, when she approached the order desk she pulled the hood off her head to reveal matted, wet and absolutely gorgeous jet black hair my heart began to palpitate in anticipation of the possibility. But I didn't dare expect it or even want it, thinking it would jinx the whole thing. I couldn't be sure until I heard her speak.
"I'd like a double chai capuccino, please."
Oh, My God! I'd recognize that amazing voice anywhere. It was My Goddess. She was in my store, standing about four feet away from me. I was dumbfounded and immobile. All I could do was slowly approach her from behind, trying to get a smell of her and a look at her adorable face. Just as I came within a foot of her, she suddenly turned around and looked straight into my eyes, scaring me. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Her skin was pale and clear, her eyes were bright and blue, her lips, even without lipstick were pink and full. Her forehead and neck were covered with perspiration. I could only imagine what the rest of her body must have tasted or looked like, as I had imagined thousands of times before. It really was My Goddess, Rose McGowan.
"Hi," she brightly said, smiling at me and destroying me with her charm and grace.
"Hi," I said. "Did you order a chai cappuccino?"
"Yes, why?" Rose said.
"I can't imagine those being any good. Are they?" is all I could muster.
"You get used to them. They're not really that good, but they're all I can allow myself to have. I've constantly got to watch my weight," said the goddess.
I had controlled myself and acted normal as long as I could. I couldn't refrain from being a freak any longer. "I'm beyond a huge fan of yours, Miss McGowan. I've adored you for as long as I can remember. I'm just catatonic right now. Please forgive me for saying anything inappropriate. I probably can't help myself."
Rose laughed and looked so amazingly beautiful in doing so. She gave me a sideways grin and tilted her head a bit before saying to me, "I think you're handling it all quite well. I'm impressed."
Shit! She was flirting with me! Rose McGowan, a total and ultimate babe who could have any man on the planet in any way she chose was flirting with me! But it wasn't a romantic type of flirting. It was more of a "You're cute when you're adoring me -- keep it up!" kind of flirting.
"I.....I.... I'm sorry, Ma'am. It's just that I've dreamed of this day for so long. I don't really know what to say. I'm so confused and amazed. You're such a huge part of my life. It's not fair to you. I'm so very sorry."
Rose looked at me with pity and with amusement. Kind of the way a cat looks at a ball of yarn. Finally she said, "I'm used to it. I have a pretty serious effect on a lot of guys. And some women, too. Do you believe that?"
"Oh, yes. I sure do. I can barely stand to look at you." We both smiled and giggled a little.
"Could you stand to sit with me while I drink this cappucino?" Rose asked.
"Yes, I'll try," I said to her.
She led me to one of the tables. It was the one in the far back corner of the store. We sat while she sipped her cappucino.
"So, what's your name, Honey?" she asked me.
She was so poised and accustomed to interacting with admirers. The "Honey" almost made me a puddle on the floor, but I managed to answer her. "It's Jeff, Miss McGowan."
I think I like it best when you call me "Ma'am". Is that OK, Jeff?" asked Rose.
"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you," I replied.
"So, Jeff, I'm interested in this fascination you have with me. Would you mind telling me about it?" She was toying with me, fishing for compliments and adoration. I didn't mind. I had been waiting to be her catnip for so long.
"Well....of course you're beautiful. But that's not all of it. You have something, some quality, which makes me want to make you happy. I don't know what it is. A command, a presence, an air about you, a strength. That's what it is, I guess. An emotional strength. Of course, since I don't know you, it's just my imagination. I imagine you're strong. And demanding. And I love that about you. I need to be around someone who is strong. I'm not strong myself often enough. I'm more of a follower than a leader. Especially when it comes to you, Ma'am." I caught myself blushing.
Rose pondered this for a little while, then said, "So you want me to take charge of you, is that it, Jeff?"
I was afraid to answer. If I said, "No", nothing I had previously said would make any sense. If I said, "Yes", she would think I'm some kind of freak -a pussywhipped, submissive slave to my feelings for her. In the nanosecond I had to decide which to answer, I decided the truth was better than a lie. "Yes, Ma'am," I blurted out. I was afraid to look at her. I was afraid she would be sneering, or getting up to walk away. After all, what breathtaking woman would want to be with a man who didn't have the backbone to stand up to her, or to even attempt to be on equal footing with her?
"Look at me," she commanded. I lifted my face to see her smiling at me and her eyes actually dancing. "Do you think you're the first pussyboy to beg me to tell him what to do?"
I was speechless. Finally she said, "This is your last chance to answer me or I'm gone, bitch."
"N.N.N.No, Ma'am. I mean.....I imagine you have many men approach you in many ways. I'm not trying to approach you, Ma'am. I know I don't deserve to spend time with you. Forgive me, please."
Rose smirked. But I could tell she was happy. "You're right. Lots of guys feed me lines of all kinds. Some of them tell me they'd do anything for me. That covers a lot of territory. I have a great imagination and can be a real ball-buster when I want to be. But almost all of them think they're going to find a way to fuck me. That's what they want. Is that what you want, Jeffie?"
