Let's Be Batman

"Wake up."

Tommy groaned and rolled over in his cot.

"Wake. Up."

Groaning again, Tommy pulled his pillow over his head.

"Wake up!"

Tommy groaned once more, this time in pain as he felt a sharp poke in his side. Tommy grumpily picked his head out from under his pillow and looked up at his attacker. When he saw who it was, his eyes went wide with more than a little fear.

"Wake up," Barbara Gordon repeated once more through gritted teeth. She was staring down at Tommy from her wheelchair.

"Shit," Tommy muttered. He hadn't had communication with Barbara in a week or so at this point, preferring instead to fight crime and get drunk (not necessarily in that order). He had gotten an angry e-mail the night before with the headline: "MAD HATTER FOUND, ANSWER ME." Tommy didn't know what the body of the e-mail said; he hadn't read it.

"I hope you can appreciate what me being here means," Barbara said lowly. "It's not like the Batcave is exactly handicap-accessible."

Tommy glanced around. He had never really thought about it but she was right. 'Well, it's not like a safety inspector is going to come around here,' He thought.

"Are you drunk, or still hung over?" Barbara asked disdainfully. Tommy looked up through bleary eyes.

"Little bit of both," He said after giving the question careful thought.

"Well, sober up," Barbara told him. "You've got work to do."

"Leave me alone," Tommy said, placing his head back under the pillow. A sharp jab once again found his ribs.

"Will you-" Tommy began.

"Shut up," Barbara told him. "I get that Black Canary dumped you. I get that you're sad about it. I get tha-"

"But you-" Tommy began.

"LET ME FINISH," Barbara said. Her tone silenced Tommy instantly. "I get that your personal life is not what you want it to be. But you are supposed to be Batman, and being Batman means that you don't let that shit affect your work. You need to quit this maudlin little routine you have going and get back to your job."

Tommy leaned up on his hand, reaching an even eye level with Barbara. "You wouldn't understand," He said. "You wouldn't know what it's like to lose..." Tommy trailed off when he realized what he was about to say.

'Maybe Barbara didn't catch that,' He thought.

Barbara's eyes went wide.

'...Shit.'

"I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOSE SOMETHING???" Barbara yelled. She struck out at the hand holding Tommy up, folding his elbow and sending his upper body hard into the cot below. As Tommy fell, Barbara twisted his right arm behind him. Tommy yelped as pain shot through his arm. "I lost my legs because of this, you little asshole! Don't tell me about losing something!"

Tommy squirmed, trying to get himself free. Barbara increased the pressure on his arm, causing Tommy to stay still. The pain was excruciating.

"Listen, you little prick," Barbara hissed from behind Tommy, "You're being a baby and Gotham is suffering because of it. Your work is sloppy, you're missing things, your updates have been terrible..."

"My what?" Tommy eked out.

"Your updates," Barbara said. "The after-action reports you're supposed to be writing. They're sloppy, riddled with errors and just sub-par. You should be embarrassed."

"But I-"

"I don't give a shit!" Barbara yelled. "So Dinah dumped you. I. Don't. Care. Lex Luthor is still out there, still planning something, and YOU need to stop him. Stop being a sadsack, stop with all your drinking, man up, and save Gotham."

Barbara let go of Tommy's arm. Tommy rolled himself over and rubbed his shoulder.

"You know, you're kind of mean," He said softly. Barbara wheeled away and headed towards the Batcomputer.

"Oh, shut up," Barbara said as she typed quickly on the keyboard. She brought up a profile of a purple-haired woman whose eyes were completely white.

"This is Tala," Barbara said. "Powerful sorceress and close associate of Lex Luthor. She's in Gotham for some unknown purpose. If anyone knows what Lex Luthor is going to be up to, it's going to be her."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Tommy asked. His right arm hurt like hell.

"Find her and interrogate her," Barbara said. "INTERROGATE her," She repeated. "Tala is one of the few people on Earth who knows Lex and also is powerful enough to potentially open up the Phantom Zone to free Faora. She must know what's going on. You need to get it out of her."

Tommy hopped off his cot and walked to the edge of the Batcave, looking down into the abyss below. "Fine," Tommy said softly. "What do I need to do?"

"Last we heard she was in a high-rise downtown. Has the whole floor to herself. Nice place."

"I'll try to find out how much she's paying for it for you," Tommy said dryly.

Barbara actually smiled. "I guess you're not so sad you can't be an asshole," She told Tommy.

"My arm hurts," He replied.

"Get suited up," Barbara said. "Fighting crime will make you feel better."

Tommy grumbled and began putting on his suit. As he did so, he continued complaining. "How exactly am I supposed to stop this Tala lady, anyway? I don't know if batarangs work against magic."

"You stopped Circe," Barbara reminded Tommy. "She's magic but she's not invincible."

"I got... lucky against Circe," Tommy said. He thought of his battle with Circe and smiled.

"Besides, I got you some help," Barbara continued. When Tommy heard this, he jumped.

"Who is it? It's not... look, I don't think I can deal with other people right now. Maybe I should take this one on my-"

"It's Zatanna," Barbara said.

Tommy paused. "...Well I guess a little help never hurt anyone."

Barbara turned and frowned at Tommy. As he buckled the utility belt around his waist, Tommy walked to the Batmobile.

"You're all set," Barbara said. Tommy was at the car when Barbara called out to him. "Tommy, wait."

Tommy paused. "You're not going to hurt me again, are you?" He asked.

"No," Barbara replied. "I just wanted to know... when my accident happened, you gave up being Batman. When Black Canary ended things, you didn't. Why not?"

Tommy stared at Barbara, dumbfounded. "I... I don't know," He said. "I guess it never really occurred to me."

Barbara considered this as Tommy hopped into the Batmobile and blasted off towards Tala's hideout.

***

Tommy arrived downtown and parked the Batmobile in an alley. As he stepped away from the Batmobile, the car recognized that Batman was no longer close by and automatically set itself to crowd control: armor quickly covered the windows and wheels, while the gun on top began to roam, looking for people who wished it harm. Tommy watched with delight. He couldn't help but be delighted; it was just so cool.

"Bruce!" Came a voice from behind him. Tommy quickly turned and tried not to gawk when he saw Zatanna, the Mistress of Magic, bounding towards him. The buxom magician wrapped her arms around him, giving him a great big hug.

"Uh, hi, Zee," Tommy said. In his hangover haze he had forgotten that Zatanna thought he was still Bruce Wayne, not some random schmo. He had remembered covering Zatanna with his cum, however.

"It's so good to see you!" Zatanna said brightly. Tommy melted at her smile. It was almost as nice as...

"Bruce, what's wrong?" Zatanna asked, somewhat concerned. Tommy realized he probably looked pretty glum right about now.

"Nothing," He said quickly. "Just eager to get this villain off the streets."

"Oh, of course," Zatanna said, once again smiling dazzlingly. She adjusted her white gloves. While she did so, Tommy admired her: the way her white vest just barely held in her breasts, how the hot pants rode up just enough on her thighs, the fishnets giving glimpse to her long legs, the top hat cocked on her head... she really was beautiful in every way Tommy could imagine.

"So, what's our plan of action?" Tommy asked. He glanced across the street at the large high-rise. The lobby looked full of gruff men, men who were most likely there to prevent people like Batman from coming in. Tommy looked for an access point but could see nothing.

Zatanna looked at him, somewhat puzzled. "You want to know what I think we should do? Usually the plans are your department."

"Oh yeah," Tommy said. He struggled to formulate a plan. "Maybe we could... that vent might... what about the sewer?"

"The sewer?" Zatanna asked, crinkling her nose.

"Yeah, the sewer," Tommy said. "We could go down there and then, like, come up through a pipe and... we'll figure it out from there."

Zatanna stared at Tommy oddly. "Why don't I just fly us up to the top?"

"...That works too," Tommy said meekly.

"Etativel!" Zatanna yelled as she reached out and grabbed Tommy's hands with her own. Both Tommy & Zatanna began to glow a soft blue and they lifted off the ground slowly, gradually rising out of the alley and up into the sky.

"Tala is very dangerous, Bruce," Zatanna was saying while they floated up into the night. "She's not exactly human. If I had to guess, I'd say demonic. I've prepared some spells that should give me a good chance against her, but I'll need you to watch the door. And my back."

Tommy barely listened. He was too busy thinking, 'Don't look down don't look down don't look down.'

As they drifted up, Zatanna moved closer to the high-rise. They were about 50 stories up, halfway to the top, and Tommy could see rows and rows of darkened apartments. They suddenly floated by one that was faintly lit by the light of a television. Tommy barely made out a woman getting railed from behind in the dark. He dropped his head, trying to see more.

"What is it? Do we need to investigate?" Zatanna said.

"No, it's okay," Tommy told her. "I thought I saw something but it was just... a dog."

Zatanna nodded and continued upwards. They gradually made their way to the top and landed softly on a balcony. Zatanna let go of Tommy's hands and the blue that surrounded both of them faded away.

The two examined the high-rise apartment. It had a large picture window that gave a spectacular view of Gotham. There was no furniture in the apartment; instead there was only a workbench filled with bottles of various sizes. Some of them bubbled while others gave off fumes. Against the wall hung a large mirror that seemed to be tinted purple. Tommy checked a door to the inside and, finding it unlocked, stepped inside.

There didn't appear to be anyone there. As Tommy crept in, he could feel Zatanna close behind him. He stopped short and felt her chest push against his back.

"Did you hear something?" Zatanna asked softly. She sounded worried.

"...Yes," Tommy said. Zatanna couldn't see but he was smiling.

The two paused, Zatanna still pressed up close against Tommy, for a few seconds. Finally, Tommy stepped forward further into the apartment. They neared the workbench.

"Any idea what this stuff is for?" Tommy asked. Zatanna quickly began to look over the vials, bottles and tubes that covered the bench.

"Hmm... cat's eye... philosopher's stone... elixir of the..." Zatanna sniffed it. "Elixir of the ages... Bruce, she's trying to find something."

"We know that," Tommy said, "We're trying to find what she knows."

Zatanna thought. "Well, it would have to be something mystical. Something hidden. Something no one knows about. Bruce, have you run into anything mystical lately? Something that would be impossible to find if you didn't know exactly where it was? Bruce?"

Tommy looked up quickly from Zatanna's cleavage. "No," He said quickly, although he hadn't heard the question.

"Hmm..." Zatanna was thinking. "Well, whatever it is, it must be very powerful. And dangerous. We need to-"

Tommy cocked his head. This time, he thought he had actually heard something.

"Get down!" He yelled, grabbing Zatanna and pulling her to the ground. A purple burst of energy flew above them, just barely missing Zatanna. Her top hat tumbled off her head and to the floor. The two scrambled behind the workbench. Above them, they could hear cackling.

"It's good for you to come, Batman, and with a friend no less," a thickly accented voice said. She sounded cartoonishly Russian. "I've been expecting you."

Tommy sighed. 'These fucks are always expecting me,' He thought. 'Why didn't they just go do the evil thing they're trying to do instead of sitting around waiting for me to stop them?'

"We're here to find out what you're doing here, witch," Zatanna said aloud. "Just tell us and we won't have to get nasty."

Tommy took the opportunity to peek around the side of the workbench and catch a glimpse at their attacker.As Tala the sorceress glided down from the 2nd floor of the condo, Tommy caught a glimpse.

He was surprised; the picture Barbara had shown him was of Tala's face and her purple hair and ghostly white eyes had given her a ghoulish appearance. Seeing all of her, though... she was pretty hot. She wore a long black robe, cut deep down to her navel and with slits on both sides of her legs. Skin was showing almost everywhere, shining white. She was tall and thin, but with nice breasts that were just barely covered by the thin material of her robe.

Apparently demonic things could be hot, Tommy noted to himself.

"You, getting nasty?" Tala replied to Zatanna with disdain. "You know nothing of nasty, daughter of Zatara. I have descended to the depths of Hell itself. I will show you nasty!"

Tala muttered something low and the workbench began to glow purple and rise into the air. It was thrown to the side, somehow landing with not a drop of potion spilled. Tommy rolled to the side, expecting an attack. Tala ignored him, though, preferring to shoot a beam of purple energy at Zatanna.

"Dleihs!" Zatanna yelled, forming a blue energy in a semi-circle around her. The purple energy collided heavily with the blue, and both women seemed to be struggling to keep their spells active against the power of the other.

Tommy wasn't quite sure what to do, as this fight seemed a little out of his league. He did what Zatanna told him to do: he guarded the door. Tommy glanced back as he began to barricade the door, trying to get a sense of Zatanna's progress. He deflated a little when he saw that it wasn't going well.

Tala was smiling, both hands held in the air and shooting purple energy. Zatanna's teeth were gritted and she seemed to be faltering just a little, her blue shield shimmering in the light. Tommy looked back and forth between the fight and the door, debating whether he should watch or help, when finally he decided.

"Fuck it," He said. He grabbed a batarang and threw it at Tala. To his shock, she suddenly turned and ensnared it in purple magic with one hand while the other continued to blast at Zatanna. Tala re-directed the batarang and sent it spinning towards the heroine. The batarang pierced Zatanna's energy shield and clipped her along the shoulder. Zatanna yelled and grabbed the wound. Her concentration broken, the shield broke.

"Thanks, Batman," Tala said towards Tommy, "Just what I needed to defeat our little magician."

Zatanna, still grabbing her shoulder, began to back up as Tala approached her. The sorceress lifted her hands and once again blasted purple energy at Zatanna. There was no shield this time, though, and Zatanna was consumed with purple light. Zatanna screamed and collapsed to the ground.

"You bitch, what did you do???" Tommy yelled out. Tala turned to Tommy and smiled.

"This magician, while pathetically weak, can still prove useful to me," Tala said. "In particular, her essence can help me find what I'm looking for. I need her to be amenable to this process, however."

"So you're torturing her?" Tommy asked. He slipped his hand to his side and grabbed his glue globules. Maybe if he bound Tala's hands together he'd prevent her from using her magic...

Zatanna was lying on the ground, groaning softly. She began to squirm while she groaned. She clearly seemed in distress.

"In a sense," Tala said. "Do you know what the greatest torture is, Batman? It's not pain, though most think it is. No, it's bringing someone to the brink of pleasure and then denying them. The greatest people to ever walk the Earth would break in minutes at such agony."

Zatanna's groaning began to grow louder and she writhed more openly. Tommy gradually became aware that Zatanna's groans weren't groans of pain, they were...

"You're... making her cum?" Tommy asked, baffled.

"I am bringing her to the brink of an orgasm and then denying it," Tala said. She laughed. "She'll soon do whatever I ask in order to cum. And she better act soon; kept in this state for too long will overload her body and put her in a coma."

Zatanna looked up at Tommy with pleading eyes. She tried to speak but instead she moaned harshly, her eyes seeming to water from the intense feeling in her loins.

"You... bitch?" Tommy said. He was far too confused to put any force behind his words.

Tala laughed again, a hint of menace on her tongue. She raised her hands as they took on a faint purple hue. "You think me evil now? I need Zatanna. I have no use for y-"

Zatanna suddenly broke through her groans. With the last of the coherence in her mind, she managed to force out one final spell.

"M'i rebbur. Er'uoy eulg!" Zatanna cried out. A purple burst of energy erupted from her and struck Tala in the back. The great sorceress dropped to her knees, groaning almost before she hit the floor. Zatanna collapsed onto her back and writhed passionately.

"What... what the fuck is going on?!" Tommy shouted. He didn't understand any of this shit.

"She's... she's reversed my spell!" Tala said. She was on her knees, her hands clasped between her thighs. "Impossible... oh my..."

Tommy looked at the two powerful magic users, both of them now groaning while they laid on the floor. Zatanna was on her back, slapping the ground as she bucked her hips into the air.

"What do I do?" Tommy asked. Maybe he could cast a spell or something...?

"You must cancel out the spell," Tala said. She grimaced as a wave of pleasure passed through her. "The only way to do this is to... is to..."

"What???" Tommy asked, eager to find out.

"Make me cum!" Tala finished. She collapsed onto her side in the fetal position. Her leg spasmed periodically, twitching from pleasure.

"...What?" Tommy asked.

"Make me whooaaa-AAHHHH!!" Tala responded. She couldn't form words now; she could only moan wildly as wave after wave of pleasure passed through her.

"What in the fuck...?" Tommy muttered.

Tommy looked at the two mighty magicians as they pulsed with orgasmic delight. Their bodies would build, rising into the air as an orgasm built inside them. Then, right as Tommy expected them to cum, they would suddenly collapse and whimper as the sensation vanished at the last possible moment. Zatanna reacted with sorrow while Tala acted with anger at the lost orgasm before they would inevitably begin to moan once more.

Tala fell onto her back, her legs spread wide. Only a small piece of dark blue cloth covered her slit and her body arched severely as she moaned. The sorceress's hands gripped the carpet tightly, bits of the fine material coming loose from the carpet as she tore at it.

Zatanna had managed to roll over to her hands and knees and was crawling towards Tommy, her eyes still pleading. Occasionally she had to stop as the pleasure running through her became overwhelming; she would collapse her arms, her head buried in the carpet while her ass hung high in the air. As the sensation suddenly disappeared, Zatanna would wearily pick her head up and crawl forward a few feet until collapsing once more.

Tommy was at first struck dumb by the bizarre scene in front of him. All his mind could think was, 'What the fuck,' in a variety of different ways. He grappled with the idea that he needed to make them cum to save them from their torment. But who should he save first? Zatanna was a friend and a superheroine, someone who had done and would do much good for the world. But Tala might be the only person who could help them stop Lex Luthor. There might not be time to save one and then the other before their brains turned to mush. Tommy looked at the two women, going back and forth, frozen by indecision.