Let's Be Batman

Tommy removed his cowl, flinging it across the Batcave in anger.

"An entire night, fucking wasted," He muttered to himself. He walked to the equipment bench and leaned against it, both hands pressed into the reinforced plexiglass that covered the table. Tommy hung his head and then, suddenly, slammed his fist into the table.

"Fuck!" He yelled, both in anger and because he had hurt his hand. He held his mitt in his other hand, rubbing it gingerly.

Tommy had spent all that night trying to find Black Canary and he had gotten nowhere. He was scared and confused and more than a little worried about his... girlfriend, he guessed? It occurred to him that he and Black Canary had never really talked about that.

They had talked about everything else, though. Tommy knew everything about her and she him. She had a way of getting through both his wannabe Batman AND his wannabe frat boy exterior, getting to know the real him in a way no one else did. And he liked to listen to her talk; she was nice and funny and he actually spent a good 75% of the time she talked not secretly staring at her tits.

Still, Tommy thought, there was no reason for him to be THIS upset.

'Unless you really do love her,' A voice in his head said.

Love? Tommy shook his head. Sure, he told Dinah that he loved her but that was just a thing you say. He didn't think he knew what "love" even meant. He loved, he guessed; he loved being Batman, he loved sex, he loved his mom a little. But he didn't think he had ever really loved someone, not like that.

'Until now,' A voice said.

Maybe. Tommy tried to wrap his head around the concept. He thought about Black Canary: her easy smile, her carefree laugh, the way her suit hugged her body... if Tommy could love anyone it would be her. Then he got images in his mind: her hurt, her tied up, her being beaten, her dead. It made his heart seize.

'Marry her,' A voice told him.

Hahahahahaha, no. Not happening.

'Fine, move in with her,' The voice said. It seemed exasperated.

Move in? ...Maybe. The fact that Tommy was thinking about it meant something.

"You need to find her," A voice said.

Yeah, I d- wait...

"What the fuck?" Tommy shouted in surprise, turning around. The last voice wasn't in his head; it was coming from behind him. There, standing before him, were 2 tiny impish men. One was dressed up like Batman, his round face peering out from the cowl that wrapped tightly around his face. The other was a small man in an orange suit. He had white hair that stood out straight to the side and a large stogie hung from his mouth. Tommy recognized him and began to get angry.

"It's you! That fucking, uh... Mr. Mxzzz... whatever the fuck!" He said. He ran after the imp but both of them vanished as he got close. Tommy heard them laughing behind him.

"Easy there, champ!" The one dressed as Batman said. "We're not here to fight. We're your biggest fans!"

"Biggest fans?" Tommy said. "Your buddy caused nothing but mayhem a few weeks ago!"

The man with the impossible name laughed. "Oh boohoo, I made you fuck Mary Marvel. I'm sure it was torture for you."

Tommy paused. The imp had a point.

"Relax," Tiny Batman said. "We're not here to cause you any trouble. In fact, we're here to help! My name is Bat-Mite and you know my friend here is Mr. Mxyzptlk." Bat-Mite took a small bow.

"Help?" Tommy said suspiciously. "And how exactly are you going to 'help' me?"

"Easy," Mr. Mxyzptlk said. "We're going to help you save Black Canary."

Tommy eyed the two imps suspiciously. "What the fuck are you guys?"

Bat-Mite responded. "We're just two average Joes from the 5th dimension here to watch you work. We're your biggest fans, Tommy!"

Tommy started. How did these little twerps know his name?

"So... you're from the 5th dimension..." Tommy said. "So that's why you can teleport and do all that shit?"

"Oh, we can do a lot more than that," Mr. Mxyzptlk said. "We can pretty much do anything. We can change things, send people pretty much wherever... oh, and get you laid many times over."

Tommy furrowed his brow. "Huh? What are you talking about?" He asked.

Bat-Mite laughed, a high-pitched whine emanating from him. "How do you think you've been fucking all these hot superwomen? Your smarts?"

"Well..." Tommy said. "Yeah?"

Both Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite laughed uproariously, leaning against each other for support. Mr. Mxyzptlk slapped Bat-Mite on the back as he laughed from deep in his gut.

"...Fuck you guys," Tommy said quietly.

"Sorry, sorry," Bat-Mite said through guffaws. "The point is, we're big fans of you and want to help. Black Canary has been captured by the evil villain Roulette to fight in an underground superhero bloodsport ring."

"...What," Tommy said. That couldn't be a real thing... could it?

"Oh yeah, it's all very exciting," Mr. Mxyzptlk said. "Bat-Mite and I have been betting on it and it's a lot of-" Bat-Mite elbowed him in the ribs, telling him to be quiet.

"We'll take you there and help you get to Roulette so you can free Black Canary," Bat-Mite said. "...If, you know, you do something for us."

There it was, Tommy thought. He wasn't sure if he could trust these two; they seemed a little weird, even for magical imps from the 5th dimension. But, if they did know where Black Canary was, he couldn't exactly afford NOT to trust them.

"What do I have to do?" Tommy asked.

"Simple," Mr. Mxyzptlk said. "You just have to let us go with you. Oh, and you have to let us watch you fuck Roulette."

"Yeah, and you have to fuck her REALLY hard," Bat-Mite added.

Tommy sighed. "Look, guys, I really need to save Black Canary and I don't really have time to fuck around this ti-"

"Fuck around!" Bat-Mite said, laughing once again. "Oh ho ho, that's great!"

Tommy continued. "...Don't have time to mess around with anyone this time."

Bat-Mite looked glum while Mr. Mxyzptlk angrily tossed his cigar to the ground. "C'mon, we're helping you!" Mr. Mxyzptlk said angrily. "You get your little girlie back, we get to watch another high & mighty super get fucked!"

"Yeah," Bat-Mite added in, "You have to fuck her. Besides, she's hot! Look at her!"

The monitor on the Batcomputer suddenly flicked on and Tommy glanced at the screen. A beautiful dark-haired woman looked back at him, her eyes obscured by a set of small sunglasses. Her hair was done up with pins in it, holding it tight against her head. Two small Japanese characters were tattooed on her left cheek.

Roulette's tall, curvy body was bound in a showy red dress that hung tightly to her neck and clung to everywhere else. The dress had a hole at Roulette's navel, showing her toned stomach. It then cut short at her right leg, showing at least one of her long, slender legs. The woman was a monument, a shining example of beauty for the world to worship. And then there was the tattoo...

"Does that..." Tommy struggled to say, "Does that tattoo go from her leg to her stomach to her...?"

Both Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite nodded eagerly. Roulette had a dragon tattoo that started at her exposed leg before winding up her stomach (the tattoo visible through the hole in her dress) and ending at her exposed left shoulder. Tommy couldn't decide what was hotter: the tattoo itself or the fact that Roulette knew it was hot and picked a dress that exposed it. He badly wanted to fuck her. And yet...

"No," Tommy said, snapping himself out of his day dream. "I'm sorry, guys, I can't. Even if Roulette is super... super hot... no, I can't. I need to focus on Black Canary."

The two imps sagged at the shoulders, clearly disappointed.

"Fine," Mr. Mxyzptlk said sadly. "I guess we understand."

"Will you guys still help me anyway?" Tommy asked. "I promise that next time I'll fuck whoever you want."

The two imps huddled together, whispering. Tommy tapped his foot impatiently. He heard Bat-Mite snicker in delight and then the two unhuddled, apparently having made their decision.

"Sure, we'll help you," Bat-Mite said. "We figure we owe you one."

"Awesome!" Tommy said, smiling widely. He was finally going to get Black Canary back! "Thanks, guys. So, what's the plan?"

Mr. Mxyzptlk smiled back. "We got it all planned out. This Roulette likes to gamble, you see? So, all you have to do is bet her for Black Canary's freedom. One spin of a roulette wheel... get it, because her name's Roulette... and you'll have Black Canary back!"

Tommy was skeptical. "I'm not sure leaving my girlfriend's freedom up to a roulette wheel is such a good idea..."

"Don't worry!" Bat-Mite said. "We got it all set for you. We'll make sure you can't lose."

Tommy was still a little skeptical but he figured that if these little guys could make things disappear then fixing a roulette wheel would be a piece of cake.

"Alright," He said finally, "Let's get-"

***

"Started... wait, where the fuck are we?" Tommy asked. They had gone from the Batcave to a hallway. The hallway was painted blood red and there were a series of pictures up along the walls. They were costumed heroes, long passed. A sign hung above one, stating, "In Memoriam."

"We're at Roulette's lair," Bat-Mite informed Tommy. "She's right through that door at the end of the hall. Oh, and in 2 seconds a guy is going to come through that door to your right."

The door opened and a man looked at Tommy in surprise. He tried to pull a gun but Tommy, ready for him, knocked the man out with a chop.

"Thanks," Tommy told the imp. "So... just go through that door?"

"Yep," Mr. Mxyzptlk said. "Don't worry, we're right behind you."

Tommy walked down the hallway and, deciding a dramatic entrance was best, kicked in the door. He strode confidently into the circular room, heading straight for the large desk in the center. Sitting behind it was Roulette, looking up in surprise at the sudden interruption. She began to smile slightly when she saw who had entered.

"Well, well, isn't this a surprise," She said calmly, waving away the two guards who had burst in the door behind her at the commotion. "Please, Batman, have a seat."

"I'll stand," Tommy said gruffly, trying to sound intimidating. "We're here to free Black Canary."

Roulette's smile faded and she looked at Tommy with genuine confusion. "'We?'"

Tommy looked behind him, discovering that both imps had disappeared. He cursed silently to himself.

"I'M here to free Black Canary," He corrected.

Roulette laughed. "I'm sorry, Batman, but she's a little... indisposed at the moment. She and our newest recruit, Batwoman, are... getting acquainted."

Tommy swore again. He knew Black Canary could take Batwoman in a fight but he also knew she wouldn't be willing to hurt the other superheroine. He hoped he could free her in time.

"I have an offer for you," Tommy said, going forward with the imps' plan. "Or a bet, I guess."

Roulette arched an eyebrow in surprise. "I do love a good bet," She said. "What did you have in mind?"

Tommy panicked. He had forgotten to actually come up with a bet. "Uh... well... if I win I get Black Canary freed, and if you win you get... um..." He absentmindedly fiddled with his utility belt.

"You get my utility belt," Tommy said, pointing at it with his hand.

"Your... utility belt?" Roulette asked, leaning backwards and crossing her arms. She seemed nonplussed at the idea.

"Um, it's really cool!" Tommy said, trying to sell her on the idea. "You have the grapple gun, some batarangs, the line launcher, tracers, the glue gun is fucking sweet.. a whole bunch of other stuff..." Tommy took it off and laid it on Roulette's heavy oak desk.

"Hmm..." Roulette spoke to herself, running through all the angles. "The glue could be useful... tracers would make it easier to find combatants... and I'd love a trophy like that for my office..." She glanced to her left and Tommy saw that corner of the room was filled with gadgets, trinkets and costumes from superheroes past. He wondered what happened to them.

As she was contemplating Tommy's offer, he looked off to the side and there, by another entrance, he saw Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite. The two imps looked at him encouragingly and gave him reassuring nods.

"I accept your wager, Batman," Roulette suddenly said, jerking Tommy back to attention. "On what were you planning to bet?"

"Hmm..." Tommy pretended to think, "How 'bout roulette?"

Roulette smiled and said, "I like it." She pressed a button at her desk and a section of the desk slid open, revealing a rising roulette table. It settled next to Roulette and she stood, leaning over the roulette wheel. Tommy noticed how her breasts hung and guessed she wasn't wearing a bra. She picked up the small white ball, holding it gently in her hand.

"Are you sure I can trust your table?" Tommy asked suspiciously. He figured he should play it straight, despite knowing he was guaranteed to win.

Roulette was offended. "Batman, I am a strict adherent to the motto of my grandfather," She said, pointing behind her. Tommy looked up and saw a portrait of an old superhero. Emblazoned on his chest were the words, "Fair play."

"So you're an honest fight pit owner," Tommy said.

"Exactly," Roulette replied. "Now, Batman: red or black?"

"Black," Tommy said.

Roulette smiled. "I guessed," She said. Then she spun the wheel and dropped the ball.

Tommy was only half-paying attention. He already was planning on what he was going to say to Black Canary when he saw her again. He'd want to get her to a hideout, either hers or his, and then help her soothe any wounds. Then, after she had rested and recovered, he'd sit with her and tell her how much she meant to him, that he was in lov-

"Red," Roulette said triumphantly. She hopped from her seat and grabbed the utility belt, holding it as a prize won. Tommy did a double-take and stared at the table, shocked.

"Wait, red?!" Tommy said. "That can't be right, I... we... huh?" He looked over at the imps, scowling when he saw them laughing uproariously, yet silently, to one another. Roulette saw his eyes and glanced over but by then they had vanished.

"Tough luck, Batman," Roulette said. "Now, if there's nothing else...?" Roulette returned to her desk and began to look over some documents.

Tommy didn't know what to do. He looked at the side of the room and saw Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite once again, the two still laughing. Mr. Mxyzptlk saw him staring and got behind Bat-Mite. He pointed at Tommy, then Roulette, and then began to hump Bat-Mite from behind. Bat-Mite was alarmed, shoving Mr. Mxyzptlk off him.

Tommy got the idea. He sighed heavily.

"...How 'bout double or nothing?" Tommy said.

Roulette didn't even look up at him. "No thank you, all bets are off at this time."

Tommy felt a bead of sweat running down his back. What could make Roulette be willing to bet again...?

"I'll fight," He said softly.

Roulette's eyes slowly glanced up from her papers. "Excuse me?" She asked.

"I'll fight," Tommy said again. "In your little ring. I'll fight if I lose. If I win, you have to let Black Canary go. And Batwoman too, I guess." Tommy didn't think it was right to leave her there.

"Hmm..." Roulette said, her fingers once again arching in front of her face. "That is a tempting offer."

Tommy sighed again. He saw the two imps, egging him on out of the corner of his eye. "And you have to suck my dick."

Roulette's eyes went wide enough that Tommy could see the tops of them behind her sunglasses. Then she began to laugh.

"Hahaha, oh Batman, I always thought you were smart," Roulette said. "I am a businesswoman, not some whore. Go find Catwoman if you need a blowjob and get out of my office." She pressed another button under her desk and 10 large men entered through every door in the room, all of them holding a weapon of some kind. Tommy gulped.

"I'll pick zero," Tommy said suddenly.

Roulette held up her hand and her henchman stopped. She flicked it away from herself and they slowly exited the room, glaring at Tommy all the while. She laughed once again.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to enjoy more," Roulette said acidly, "The amount of money I'm going to make on you or watching you get murdered in my pit." Roulette grabbed the ball, spun the wheel and flicked the white ball the opposite direction.

Tommy watched intently this time, his back damp with sweat. The ball whizzed over the numbers, bouncing wildly. As the ball danced the wheel began to slow and Tommy's eyes went wider. He glanced over at the imps and they were watching as well, their mouths in wide smiles.

Tommy returned to the wheel as it slowed even further. The ball's bouncing became less furious and it seemed to be settling. Tommy muttered, "C'mon, c'mon," as the ball made its way towards zero. It didn't seem to have enough juice, though, and Tommy was just about to curse loudly as the ball seemed to settle into the number eleven.

"Sorry, Batma-" Roulette started to say when suddenly the ball made an impossible bounce from eleven to zero, finally settling into Tommy's winning number. Tommy pumped his fist while Roulette slammed hers against the table.

"Fuck yeah!" Tommy yelled out.

"You cheated!" Roulette shouted at the same time.

"Fuck ye... cheated?" Tommy asked, trying to look offended now. "How could I cheat? It's your table!"

Roulette searched for a reason. "You must have a magnet... or something... I know you cheated!"

Tommy held his hand up to his heart. "I would NEVER cheat. Fair play is my motto, too." He looked at the imps and noticed that they too had their hands over their hearts.

Roulette sputtered and then collapsed into her expensive leather desk chair. She knew Batman had won. "Fine," She said quietly. "Black Canary and Batwoman are free."

Tommy began to smile. "And the other thing?"

Roulette glared up at him, her eyes shooting daggers from over top her glasses. "I'll do it," She said softly.

Tommy feigned ignorance. "Do what?" He asked.

Roulette gritted her teeth. "I'll suck your dick," She said angrily.

Tommy broke into an open smile now as he walked around the desk. He wedged himself between Roulette and her desk, leaning against the thick oak. His hips were pointed towards her and, with her sitting, his crotch was just below her eye level. He grabbed the arms of her chair and pulled her close to him, her legs going between his.

"A bet's a bet," He said lecherously, his hand slowly reaching into the pants of the Batsuit. He pulled out his half-hard cock and let it hang, the tip almost touching Roulette's nose. Her eyes went from narrow & angry to wide & shocked as she glimpsed Tommy's girth & length.

Roulette eventually recovered herself, remembering that she was supposed to be angry, and slowly dipped her head. Her tongue stuck out of her mouth and she tentatively touched it against the tip of Tommy's dick. His cock bounced in response, growing ever harder. Roulette licked more confidently now and then lifted Tommy's cock into her mouth with her tongue, placing the head of his dick in her mouth. She then began to slowly bob her head on his dick.

Tommy groaned. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back, savoring the feeling of Roulette's mouth on his dick. He decided to let Roulette blow him instead of throating her; he had been doing that a lot lately, he'd realized, and he missed the feeling of someone taking their time on his dick.

Still, his hips couldn't help but pump while Roulette bobbed on his dick. Her warm mouth took more and more of him, going about halfway down his shaft. She had bright red lipstick on and it made marks on his cock, making it easy to gauge her progress. Tommy was fully erect now, his cock stiff on Roulette's tongue.

Tommy slowly opened his eyes, lowering them so he could watch Roulette work. He was surprised to see Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite standing on either side, getting a good look at Roulette's blowjob. Tommy tried to shoo them away but his hands seemed to phase through them. The two giggled silently in response.