Let's Be Batman

Tommy and Dinah were lying in bed, tired after a long night of crime fighting. Black Canary had rooted out a gang of pickpockets, stopped a mugging, and gotten a lead on Black Mask's whereabouts; Tommy had tried to solve a puzzle left by the Riddler... and had failed miserably. Still, they were equally exhausted.

"So I was talking to Huntress tonight..." Dinah began.

Tommy's heart stopped. He liked hanging out with Dinah a lot and had promised never to lie to her. At the same time, he had agreed to fuck Huntress in order to keep her from killing anyone. His lies were compounding and Tommy knew he could be found out at any time. He worried that now was just such a time.

"...She thinks that we could really hurt Black Mask's operation with the information we found out tonight," Dinah finished. Tommy's heart beat once again.

"Yeah, I hope so," Tommy replied. He got off the bed and paced around the Clocktower. "I don't know why you hang out with her," He said, clearly agitated. "She seems unstable."

Dinah laughed. "Believe me, she's not your biggest fan either. She told me last night that you were a huge dick." Tommy winced. "But I really think if the three of us just got together that you'd see-"

"No!" Tommy said quickly. "I'm sorry, but I just don't trust her. I have to be careful with my identity as Batman."

"Okay," Dinah sighed. "I know how you feel about protecting your identity. Or his, I guess," Dinah said, referring to Bruce Wayne.

Tommy sat down on the bed by Dinah. She lifted herself up, the sheet barely clinging to her chest. "I just want to keep you to myself, is all," He said. He kissed her and she kissed him back.

"I have to head back to Coast City for a few days to take care of a few things," Dinah said. "Are you alright checking out this Black Mask lead by yourself? I'd ask Huntress to help you but she said she's busy tonight."

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Tommy replied. "Don't worry about me."

Canary nodded. "Remember, we're not just trying to capture him. We need to find out who his benefactor is. Someone's giving him the money he needs to finance his operation."

"Got it," Tommy replied. "Trust me, I'll get it done."

"I know you will," Dinah replied, smiling. "I trust you."

***

"God I love your slutty cock!" Huntress screamed, bucking up against Tommy as his dick stretched deep into her pussy. She had him pressed up against the side of a building in the industrial part of town and he hoped no one was around to here this superheroine screaming.

"Shut up," Tommy hissed, his hand grabbing Huntress by the hair and yanking back on it. He buried his dick in her pussy to the hilt, his balls slapping against the bottom of her ass. His other hand was cupped underneath her shirt, yanking on her tit.

"Fuck you," Huntress replied. She had one hand holding herself upright against the building while the other pawed at her clit.

It had been like this ever since that night on the rooftop. Tommy couldn't stop, both because he wanted to make sure Huntress didn't kill anyone and because he couldn't pull himself away from their dirty, dirty fuck sessions. He hated lying to Dinah. He hated that he liked fucking this woman. Most of all, he hated himself. He hated himself so much.

"Are you going to cum?" Huntress asked him with a smile. "Go ahead, I want you to cum. Show me what a weak little bitch you are."

Tommy glared at her and suddenly his face contorted into what looked like a sneeze. "Fuck," Tommy groaned. He buried himself in Huntress's pussy and came, shooting his load inside her. He sunk against the wall, moaning loudly, and shuddered with every burst from his cock. Huntress laughed shrilly and then her laugh turned to a scream as she came. Tommy began to pull out of her but she shoved herself against the wall, keeping Tommy deep inside her. Her hips thrusted forwards against his softening dick and she cried out harshly.

Finally, her orgasm subsided and she pushed herself back, Tommy's dick falling out of her. The two quickly began to dress.

"You whore," Tommy muttered as he wiped his dick clean with Huntress's cape. Oh how he hated her.

"Give me that!" She yelled out, grabbing her cape away. She quickly put it back on. "And I'm not the one cheating on my little girlfriend with her partner. Maybe we should ask Black Canary who the whore is here."

Tommy looked at Huntress with anger in his eyes. "If you say a Goddamn word to her I'll... I'll..."

Huntress laughed in his face. "You'll what?"

Tommy bit the inside of his lip.

Huntress laughed again. "See you next week," She yelled behind her as she took off into the night.

***

Tommy stared at the address Black Canary had given him and then looked at the building in confusion. This was the place but... it couldn't be, could it?

Across the street, Tommy was looking at a church. The First Lutheran Church of Gotham, to be exact. He stared again at the address, trying to figure out if maybe he had misplaced a number or something.

'Nope, this is the place,' He thought. The church looked old. It's roof arched high in the air and it had followed in the traditional crucifix layout that churches have. Tommy didn't see anything suspicious about it at all. He decided he needed to get a closer look. He waited until the street was empty and then carefully glided to the top of the church.

'Front door's no good,' He thought. 'Need to find a side entrance.'

Tommy finally found one. Not much of an entrance; a window had been left open just a smidge. Tommy forced it open and squeezed his way through. He was sure he was alone.

Tommy was in an office. It was most likely the pastor's office but there didn't seem to be any pastoral activities going on there now. Stacks of money lined the desk nearby and Tommy saw a pile of guns & ammo seemingly tossed in the corner.

"This is definitely the place," He muttered to himself. Tommy quickly made his way over to the desk and began to look through the papers there. If he could just find out what Black Mask was up to, where he was getting his equipment & men...

"Give me a sec, I'll be right back!" Tommy heard shouting coming from outside the door. He looked around panicked and saw a closet in the corner. Tommy was shutting the door to the closet right as a person entered the room.

"Now where the fuck are those drug shipment manifests," He heard the man say. The closet door had shutters and Tommy could just barely see the man through them. He was tall and was wearing a white suit. He couldn't see the man's head, either because of shadows or-

"Goddammit, I really need a secretary," The man muttered. Finally, he grabbed a piece of paper and held it up in triumph. He folded it and placed it inside his inside suit pocket. The man turned around and Tommy finally got a look at his face.

More accurately, Tommy got a glimpse of his mask.

It was black and shiny, the polish on it glinting in the light. Sinister eyes were the only part of the wearer that showed; otherwise, the mask perfectly covered his head. The mouth of the mask was stuck in a grimace, with the teeth bare to resemble a skeleton. Tommy noticed that the mouth seemed to be able to move as the man talked. Tommy recognized the man as Black Mask.

A voice called out beyond the door. "Hey boss, we need those new locations for the drugs before one of the costumed freaks gets to them. Where do you want them to go?"

"Just give me a fucking second, will you?" Black Mask replied. He turned back to his desk and picked up a phone. He began to dial.

Tommy crept out of the closet noiselessly and snuck up behind Black Mask. As silently as he could, he pulled out his grapple gun. Hoping Black Mask wouldn't notice that it wasn't a real gun, he pressed it up against the back of the villain's head.

"Make a sound and I'll kill you right here," Tommy whispered harshly.

Black Mask chuckled with his back still facing Tommy. "Batman," He growled. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Put that thing away, we both know you're not going to kill me."

Tommy swore in his head. "Maybe not kill you," He said aloud, "But I'll definitely hurt you if you don't tell me who you're working for."

Black Mask chuckled again. "Look at me," He said. Slowly turning around, he pierced Tommy with his psychotic eyes. "Do I look like the kind of guy who gives in to torture?"

Tommy thought. "That's... actually a good point." He lowered his grapple gun. After a moment's thought, he swung up with his other arm and jammed something into Black Mask's neck. The mob boss swore and then began to sway; he finally collapsed, tumbling onto the desk with a clatter. Tommy flinched and looked to the door.

"Boss!" A shout came through the door. "You alright? I heard a bang."

Tommy cleared his throat. "Uh... yeah, everything's fine. I... stubbed my toe! I'm alright, no need to come in."

"...Okay," The goon replied. "Just let me know when you find those addresses."

Tommy thought. He could leave with Black Mask now and it would short-circuit his crew's operations... but whoever was behind him would still be at large. Tommy needed to find out who he was but he had no way of getting that information. He could interrogate Black Mask but didn't think would get anywhere. Maybe one of his goons? Or maybe in the computer at the desk. There must be some way.

As Tommy was thinking, his head casually glanced down at Black Mask's unconscious body. It appeared that the mask was removable. A plan slowly formed in Tommy's head. He couldn't find out the information as Batman, but maybe if he was someone else...

***

"Boss, c'mon! Are you alright?" The goon shouted at the door, banging on it. He waited and heard nothing. Finally, after a careful evaluation of how bad a beating he'd get for infringing on his boss's privacy, the goon began to open the door.

Right as his hand hit the knob, the door flew open. Black Mask glared at the goon.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" He said gruffly to his henchman. Black Mask strode past his henchman to the altar and removed the slip of paper from his pocket. He held it up and read it aloud.

"I want you to move the drugs to the following safehouses," He said, before rattling off a list of addresses. The men moved quickly, eager to complete their work. Black Mask watched them and then turned to his lead henchman.

"Make sure that all... this gets done," He said, waving his hand towards the bustle of activity. "I need to take care of some business in my office."

"But Boss," The henchman said confusedly, "We still need to take care of Vinny."

"Vinny...?" Mask said slowly. "Oh, yeah, Vinny. Okay."

From the back of the church, two goons appeared. They were dragging a man forward, his legs trailing limply behind him. The man looked like he had been beaten severely. As they passed the rows of pews and neared the altar he raised his head with great effort and looked at Black Mask with tears in his eyes.

"So... remind me," Black Mask said, "What did Vinny do again?"

"He stole from you, Boss," The lead henchman replied. "He thinks he doesn't need to pay for protection and decided not to pay this month. That's stealing in our book."

"Please, Mr. Mask," The man cried out, "I just couldn't make my ends meet this month but I'll make it up to you, I swear! Please, I have 4 kids!"

Mask stared at the man. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. "So, uh, what do you usually do in situations like this?"

The lead henchman smiled. "We drop him into the sea." The lead henchman turned to two lesser goons. "You heard the boss, see what excuses this guy can come up with from the bottom of the fucking ocean!" The man being sentenced began to cry.

"Hold on!" Black Mask suddenly shouted. Everyone stopped and looked at him. He looked at the man who was cowering on the floor. "What's your name again?"

"V-Vinny," The man replied nervously.

Black Mask repeated the name. "Vinny, you're not going to miss a payment again, are you?"

"No sir, never again I swear!" Vinny replied hurriedly.

"Okay, good," Black Mask said. "So, just... don't do that again."

"Oh yes sir, yes sir!" Vinny said. He began to cry tears of happiness now. "Thank you so much!"

The lead henchman looked at Black Mask, confused. "Wait, that's it?"

"You got a problem with that?" Black Mask said with a tinge of menace.

"Uh... no sir," The lead henchman said quietly.

"Good," Black Mask said. "Now I need to take care of some shit in my office AND I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED!"

Black Mask turned and walked into his office. The goons all looked at each other, each one more confused than the next.

***

Tommy closed the door to the office and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He was lucky that no one could see how profusely he was sweating due to the heavy wooden mask covering his head.

The mask was ill-fitting on him. It was made of wood and it chafed against his skin. For Black Mask, it was probably a perfect fit but the nose was a little stubby on Tommy and there was space between his chin and the bottom of the mask.

And then there was the effect the mask seemed to be having on Tommy. He couldn't explain it but the mask made him feel... different. Even as he put it on, he felt himself acting different. He thought that it might be him getting into character as Black Mask but now he was starting to doubt. He felt mean, like he wanted to do bad things. Tommy dismissed the notion and chalked it up to his nervousness.

Luckily, at least, Black Mask's suit fit. It fit really well. Suspiciously well, actually. It fit as well as Batman's suit fit on him. Really, he was incredibly lucky that both Batman & Black Mask were his exact dimensions. Seriously, the odds of that happening seem suspicious, don't you think? I mean how are we supposed to believe that Tommy is the exact size of both men? It's just ludicr-

Anyway, Tommy adjusted his well-fitted suit and quickly made his way to the closet he was recently hiding in and where Black Mask was "resting" now. Black Mask was still there and still unconscious. Tommy turned and headed behind the desk to take a look at Black Mask's computer. He jiggled the mouse to turn on the screen and tried to navigate through the maze of files on Black Mask's computer.

"Jesus, this guy really needs a secretary," Tommy muttered. Nothing was organized and everything was named in incomprehensible jargon. Tommy quickly gave up trying to find a file. He decided e-mail might work better.

"Let's see... gun shipments, cop payoffs, discussing the murder of an alderman... nothing good," Tommy muttered defeatedly. He was about to give up when he saw a reminder notice on Black Mask's computer. He clicked on it and a meeting popped up.

"REMINDER: Meeting with Mystery Man and Calculator arranged 1 week from today at 5PM. Meeting to take place at TBD."

Bingo! Tommy clapped his hands. He didn't know who Black Mask's benefactor was but he knew where he was going to be. Tommy closed the notification and turned off the computer monitor. He was just about to change back into his Batman suit when he heard a loud bang on the door.

"Don't come in, I'm still busy!" He hurriedly called out. He listened but didn't hear a response. Instead, he heard what sounded like fighting.

'What the fuck is going on?' Tommy wondered. He crept over to the door to take a look. He pushed the door but it didn't budge. He put his shoulder into it and managed to push it open enough to squeeze his head out. He saw why he couldn't open the door: Black Mask's lead henchman was leaning unconscious against it. Tommy forced the rest of himself through the narrow opening and stepped into the church once again.

As he glanced around, he saw none of the earlier hustle & bustle that was going on. He couldn't see anyone, really. Everything had suddenly gone deathly silent. He stepped farther into the church, trying to find any source of movement. He thought to himself that it was a lot more fun to do the stalking than it was to get stalked.

"Hello?" He called out softly. Tommy was on the steps of the altar now, peering down the rows of pews for a sign of life. He saw nothing. He heard a noise behind him and quickly turned around, facing the front of the church. There was a thick marble table in the center, presumably used for communions. Above the table was a large statue of Jesus. Tommy noted with surprise that Jesus was wearing a black mask.

As Tommy was distracted, he suddenly felt something tight against his throat. It felt like a metal bar was squeezing his wind pipe. Tommy coughed and struggled to breathe.

"Sorry to spoil your party," A deep voice behind Tommy said. "But I guess that's why they call me The Spoiler."

Tommy wheezed. The name didn't ring a bell. Must be new. "What the fuck...?" He muttered.

"You've been running drugs through this neighborhood for weeks," The voice said quietly. "Tell me where you're keeping them."

Tommy's eyes were getting blurry. He cursed his luck. He had always figured his run would end getting overpowered by some supervillain; he thought it ironic that he was going to end up getting arrested by another superhero.

He tried to think of something to say. He couldn't exactly tell the truth; the story sounded crazy and he doubted the superhero would believe him anyway. He figured that his only hope would be to bluff.

He tried to laugh but it was a struggle with the bar against his throat. "You think I'm afraid of you?" Tommy choked out. He was absolutely afraid.

"Tell me where you keep your drugs!" The hero yelled louder. Tommy noticed that the voice got higher as it yelled. He began to wonder just who exactly The Spoiler was.

"I'm not saying anything," Tommy managed to say. The bar went higher on his neck, causing him to choke more.

"I can make you talk," The voice said. It seemed shakier than before. The hero was losing his nerve. Tommy knew exactly what that sounded like; he had heard himself with the same shaky voice hundreds of times.

Tommy thought of a response. Finally, it hit him. "Look at me," He said, beginning to turn around. The hero struggled but failed to keep Tommy from doing so. "Do I look like the kind of guy who gives in to torture?"

As he did spoke, Tommy finally got a look at this mysterious hero. They wore a dark purple cloak that covered their body and hooded over their head, leaving their face shrouded in shadow. All Tommy could see where the eyes, bright and shining. They looked up at him; Tommy was surprised to find that the hero was surprisingly short.

They were holding some sort of staff that was broken into 3 parts and held together with chain links; the middle one had been wrapped around Tommy's neck just a second before.

But what Tommy was focusing on was the small strand of something blonde that was sticking out from beneath the hero's hood. It was hair, Tommy realized. Slowly, it came together: the voice, the small stature, the hair...

Before the hero could react, Tommy grabbed the cloak around their head. The hero lunged backwards, assuming a fighting stance. As they did so their cloak stayed, her collapsible staff went flying and Tommy got a glimpse at what was underneath.

The Spoiler was a young woman. Underneath her cloak she wore a spandex purple suit that, unlike the cloak, did nothing to hide her curves. Her suit wasn't professionally designed like other heroes he had run into; hers looked storebought. It hugged in some places and hung loosely in others. She had good sized breasts that tugged at the spandex and her waist was small. She had sandy blonde hair that was currently messy from her disguise.

Tommy was surprised at how young she was, considering she had just beaten up Black Mask's whole crew; she looked like she should be hanging out at a sorority function, not fighting crime. Her face was cute. She had thin blondish eyebrows, soft eyes and full lips that were currently pulled back in a snarl. Tommy momentarily forgot that this hero had just been threatening to hurt him.