Let's Be Batman

Jim Gordon flipped the switch. The batsignal suddenly shone brightly in the sky. He waited.

'Where the Hell is he," Jim thought. 'He's usually here in 5 minutes, tops.' Jim continued to wait. Finally, he heard a familiar noise: the sound of a grappling hook whizzing through the air. Any minute now, Batman would appear seemingly out of nowhere and coolly and calmly take control of the situation at hand.

"Ahhh fuck!" Jim suddenly heard. A large thing had just slammed into the wall in front of him. Jim ran over to it and discovered Batman slumped on the ground.

"Batman...? Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine." Batman quickly straightened himself up. "So what's... what's up?"

"Uh, we've had a situation. Poison Ivy has run amok and destroyed the arboretum. She said it was a prison. Now she's threatening to destroy one of our prisons if we don't "free" all the parks in Gotham. She's lost her mind."

"Oh, okay. So... what do we do?"

Jim stared at him. "We were hoping you could stop her."

"Oh yeah, right." Batman cleared his throat. "And where-" he stopped as his voice had cracked "-where can I find her?"

"I think you can find her somewhere on the outskirts of Gotham, most likely by the old amusement park. We've heard rumors of trees being planted in the area."

"Okay. Don't worry, Commissioner... uh... Commissioner..."

"Gordon."

"Don't worry, Commissioner Gordon. I'll handle this."

Gordon turned his back on Batman. "Let me know if you run into any trouble. Batman, I don't think I need to tell you that Ivy is a very dangerous person..."

Gordon turned back around, expecting to find himself alone as he had so many times before. Instead, he saw Batman running away into the night.

'Must be having a rough day,' Commisioner Gordon thought.

***

Tommy had 2 words running through his mind: 'Oh' and 'fuck.' A week ago, Tommy had discovered a Batsuit and had proceeded to have the best week of his life. He had fucked Catwoman and had since foiled a series of minor crimes (mostly just by showing up), gathering a few appreciative blowjobs from damsels in distress along the way. It was the perfect racket! But this? Stopping another supervillain, one that he had no idea how to fight? This was way above his paygrade. He wished he could contact Batman, the REAL Batman, but he had been a ghost ever since Tommy had put on the suit.

"Just like me to be taken for a sap by fucking Batman himself,' thought Tommy. 'Fucker is probably banging 2 broads in Rio right now while I get ripped apart by a fucking plant.'

Tommy was wrong; Bruce Wayne was currently fucking two broads in Lisbon.

Still, though, in the deep recesses of Tommy's mind he was a little excited. Getting blowjobs as Batman was fun, but he also got a tiny twinge of self-worth from helping people. The look on victim's faces when he showed up to help him made him feel like a million bucks. It was like an orgasm for his soul.

And then there was also the matter of a story a friend of Tommy's had told him once, a story of Poison Ivy's break-in at an animal testing lab. She had killed 4 people, injecting them with the very thing they were injecting into the animals. It was horrible.

That's not the part of the story Tommy had always held onto, though; the part he remembered was only a single sentence:

"Dude, my friend in the PD saw the security footage and that Poison Ivy chick had the biggest tits I've ever seen."

***

Tommy worked his way over to where Commissioner Whats-His-Name had suggested. Tommy didn't know what he was looking for but he had a feeling he would know it when he found it. He was right.

From the top of the old ferris wheel, Tommy could see a stretch of forest that had grown much larger than the other areas surrounding it. And, at the center, he could just barely make out the top of a building.

Tommy took a deep breath. 'Well, here goes nothing. I'm sure she can't be that tough.'

***

Tommy awoke without being quite sure where he was. Last he could remember, he was wandering through a... forest, he thought. Now, as he tried to clear his eyes and look around, he was most decidedly not in any forest he recognized.

All around him was the most lush plantlife Tommy had ever seen. He couldn't recognize nearly all of them but his eyes were dazzled by a cornucopia of reds, greens, and blues. The colors made the pounding inside his head so much worse.

Through the pounding, Tommy gradually became aware that he could not move his arms or legs. He could barely lift his head enough but he thought he saw... vines? Vines were lashed around his wrists and ankles to keep him in place. One was wrapped around his neck, another around his waist. He realized that he was completely immobile. Helpless. Completely at the mercy of...

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Batman," a voice called out from the darkness.Tommy searched frantically for the origin but couldn't find anything. The vines gripped tighter.

"Now now, Batman, I don't want you going anywhere. We are going to have so much fun together."

Tommy was scared shitless. He was completely trapped, he was going to die, why did he ever... why did he... tits.

Poison Ivy had come into view. Tommy was surprised to find that, contrary to the rumors, she was not bright green. Ivy's skin was olive, tinted with green in the places that didnt get as much Sun. (Tommy could see almost all of those places right now.) Most people probably confused her from green because she was covered in vines and leaves in only the bare minimum of places. The ivy wrapped up the villainess's leg split up her crotch, covering just enough to deprive Tommy of seeing her pussy.

From there it worked her way up each side, rejoining to form a resting place for her rack. Tommy was even more surprised to find that, exactly like the rumors said, Poison Ivy had giant tits. They were barely covered by the ivy, almost the nipples only, and they bounced as Poison Ivy walked towards him.

Tommy finally made his way up to Poison Ivy's face. She had haunting green eyes and dark red lips to match her dark red hair. She had a look of triumph on her face.

Tommy knew he should be scared, knew he was about to die, but all he could think about was-

"-wits about you, Batman. I don't think I've ever seen you captured so easily. You may want to re-train your sneaking skills, by the way; I could hear you coming for miles."

Ivy was close now, within only a few feet. She was about 6 inches shorter than Tommy so he had to look down on her; he tried to concentrate on what she was saying but all he could do was stare at her breasts. They seemed to heave every time Ivy breathed.

"I thought you were going to be so much harder to catch, Batman. I had planned a grand execution for you, my masterpiece to show the world that the plants were truly Goddess's chosen creatures." Ivy reached into a pile of powder on a nearby table and blew the contents into Tommy's face. Tommy paid careful attention to how Ivy's breasts jiggled when she did so. He was completely lost in those tits. He faintly heard a whirring sound and felt a small pinch in his back but Tommy was too far gone to register it.

"I'm not sure if you deserve it, though. I thought you of all of them were special but it seems like you're just an impotent man, doomed to di- oh my God, do you have a boner?! What the hell? That was poison, not a love potion!"

Batman's suit was a marvel of invention. It had a small fan that could suck deadly toxins out of the air before they reached the wearer's lips and, if that didn't work, it carried a supply of antidote to Poison Ivy's concoctions, along with the Scarecrow's, the Joker's, and the Mad Hatter's.

What the suit could not do, however, was prevent blood from rushing to a certain area of the body.

***

Poison Ivy stumbled back, her face frozen in confusion. This wasn't how it worked; she tried to kill Batman, he defeated her in combat, she swore revenge. He wasn't supposed to get caught easily and then get a hard-on at the sight of her. This went against everything she knew. At that moment, only one thing seemed sure.

"...That is one big dick," she muttered aloud without knowing. She could faintly make out the outline of Batman's engorged cock. It seemed to run all the way to the outside of his thigh. She had never seen anything like it; sure, she had gotten many men riled up in her quest to rid the world of humanity but this was something else. Most of the men she encountered were small-dicked, or impotent, and took out their misfortune on Mother Earth. This was not a small dick.

She stared at it for a long time before finally deciding that nope, this couldn't be real. It had to be a wire or a codpiece or... something...

'Well there's only one way to find out,' Ivy finally decided. She had her vines tighten on Batman's body before she made her way over to him, reached into his suit, and pulled out what lied beneath.

Ivy fluttered when she saw it. In her hand was the biggest cock she had ever seen. She turned it over in her hands and marveled at its thick veins. Near the end, she noticed a small drop of precum on the tip.

Ivy had not bee with a man in a long time. She wasn't a lesbian; the way she was feeling at the sight of that cock made it obvious. She had just spent so long fighting the patriarchy that she refused to give in to her base, human desires. Her plants and the occasional supervillainess had done just fine.

Until now. Ivy thought that maybe she had been wrong about Batman. Maybe he was special. Clearly he wasn't like the other men she had defeated in at least one important way. Maybe she could take him out with a bang...

Ivy absentmindedly jerked Batman's cock as she thought.

***

Tommy ached. He wasn't sure what was happening; first this chick wanted to kill him and now she was lost in thought while she played with his dick. All he knew was that his balls were in desperate need of release.

"So here's what's going to happen, Batman." Ivy had finally broken the silence. "You are going to die. Before you die, I am going to give you the opportunity to make up for generations of genocide by humankind by satisfying me in carnal ways."

Tommy started to respond and then stopped, confused.

Ivy tried again. "I mean that your sentence will be carried out after you have transferred your gametes into my ovules."

Tommy still stared.

Ivy rolled her eyes and said, "I am going to let you fuck me."

"Oh, okay," Tommy said as he breathed a sigh of relief. "I can 100% do that."

Ivy motioned for her vines to droop Tommy onto the floor so that he was sitting now. The vines tightened once again, rendering Tommy immobile.

"You know, Batman, I don't think you're getting enough green in your diet," Ivy said.

She stepped towards him and the vines covering her vagina parted. Her vagina was now inches from Tommy's face. Tommy stuck out his tongue and lightly made contact with Ivy's labia.

Ivy responded by pushing closer to Tommy's face, burying him in her snatch. He was having trouble breathing in the mask and the vines hurt his wrists but he gradually found his rhythm and began massing Ivy's cunt with his tongue.

"Oh, Goddess," Ivy moaned. She ran one hand through her dark red hair while the other pushed Tommy's face even further into her pussy. Tommy responded by picking up his pace, flicking his tongue furiously on Ivy's clit.

***

Ivy shuddered. Batman's technique was poor; after all, how could a man know how to pleasure a woman more than a woman herself? But he was vigorous and she could feel an orgasm build up inside her.

Her knees began to quake. Both hands were on Batman's head now to keep herself upright. She thought about all the times she had fought Batman before, desired to crush him under her boot, and now he was totally at her mercy. It was enough to make her-

"Oh, oh, oh, mmmmmmmmm!!" Ivy convulsed through her whole body as an orgasm passed through her in waves. Ivy savored it, although it was hard to when she considered what she really wanted.

"Okay, Batman, let's pollinate."

***

Tommy was pulled further down until he was on his back. Ivy stood above him. She was beautiful and terrifying at the same time; her once green face had turned red from her orgasm and her pussy was flared and waiting. And of course, her heavy breathing made her big tits stand out even more.

Tommy decided to take a shot. "Before we, uh, you know, do you think you can...?" Tommy bobbed his hand up and down.

Ivy glared at him. "I don't eat meat."

"I was just thinking," Tommy said hurriedly, "That it might hurt a little if we don't have a little lubricant."

Ivy considered this for a second before stepping forcefully to a nearby plant. She held out her hand and the plant came alive to deposit some sort of liquid in her hand.

"Here," Ivy said, as she quickly rubbed the liquid up and down Tommy's shaft. Tommy couldn't seem to catch his breath at the sensation.

After 3 or 4 solid passes with her hand, Ivy straddled Tommy and positioned his dick at the entrance to her pussy. Ivy took a deep breath and lowered herself onto it.

"Holy shit!" they both exclaimed together. Tommy didn't know if he had felt anything so tight. Ivy clearly hadn't had a cock in her for a while and her vagina squeezed tightly around Tommy's dick. Once the initial sensation passed he became aware that he was only halfway inside her.

Ivy moaned on top of him as she tried to decipher pleasure from pain. She gingerly pushed herself deeper on Tommy's dick. In response, she bit her lip and clutched at Tommy's suit.

Tommy became aware that at some point Ivy had lost control of the vines around his arms and legs. Quickly, he thrust his hands up and grabbed firmly onto Ivy's breasts. Ivy was momentarily surprised but she quickly let passion override logic and simply kept on bouncing on Tommy's dick.

Tommy pulled himself up and took Ivy's nipple into his mouth. They were wrapped around each other now, the changed position allowing Ivy to take even more (but not all) of Tommy's cock. She quickened her bounces, feeling Tommy's huge dick deep inside her. She was turning redder.

All Tommy could think about were the heavenly tits in front of him. He took them one at a time in his mouth before resting his head between them. They bounced up and down and he quickly felt like his entire world was between these two tits. He was starting to lose himself but, before he could, Ivy started to shake once again.

***

Ivy felt another orgasm ruin her body. This one was much shorter but much more intense; she felt wave after wave emanate from her pussy and pass through every part of her. She lightly pulled herself off Batman's dick, grimacing as his head passed by her, and collapsed onto the ground.

She felt spent. She didn't understand how Batman wasn't. He was like one of her plants: desperately needing her, desperately wanting her, and willing to satisfy her over and over again.

She became vaguely aware of Batman moving; he rose and stood in front of her, his cock dripping wet from her juices. He grabbed her breasts and sandwiched his cock between them; quickly, he started pumping his cock.

Ivy moaned. She wasn't sure why she was letting him cum... wasn't she supposed to kill him...? but at this point she didn't care. She only wanted to feel at one. She lied down onto her back and pulled Batman down so that he was on his knees, straddling her.

"Give me your cum," Ivy stated authoritatively. Batman seemed happy to oblige. He started pumping fast between her tits, gritting his teeth, the head of his cock almost poking her neck with every thrust.

Ivy thought about where she would let him cum. Her hydrangeas had seemed a little sad; maybe she would have him cum on them. The Weeping Willow would be ironic. Maybe she would keep him as a prisoner and milk him onto every plant in her garden.

A vine worked its way towards Ivy's pussy as she thought. It began quickly flicking her clit. The idea of Batman's massive cock between her tits and the feeling between her legs quickly gave rise to another orgasm. She opened her mouth to moan.

"Ooooooooh- mmmmphph!" Ivy had found her open mouth filled with Batman's cock.

***

Tommy wasn't sure why he did it; like with Catwoman, he felt that this was a once-in-a-lifetime thing so might as well take a shot. As he felt his balls bubbling up with cum, he thought Ivy's mouth looked so inviting. Right as he came, he leaned forward and dropped his cock into her mouth.

Tommy saw flashes of black as he shot wave after wave into Ivy's mouth. The first shot hit the back of her throat, causing her to instinctively swallow. Now there was no stopping it; she would have to swallow all of it or else gag on Tommy's cum.

Finally coming back to Earth, Tommy looked down at Ivy's face. Her eyes were watering and a tiny river of cum was streaming out of the corner of her mouth. She was too disoriented from her own orgasm to truly comprehend what had happened. Finally, after one last burst of cum, Tommy pulled his cock from Ivy's mouth and dressed himself.

Ivy quickly rolled onto her side and began coughing. Tommy wondered if the meat in his diet had made his cum taste weird to Ivy. That thought was quickly replaced by the realization that he had just pissed off a very dangerous supervillain and he needed to get out of there.

Before Tommy could move, Ivy turned and lunged at him. "I'll kill you, parasite!" she yelled as she swiped at Tommy's cock. Tommy turned to the side and Ivy's hand found a recessed purple button on the suit's utility belt. Quickly, a puff of purple smoke filled Ivy's face. She coughed and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She collapsed in a puddle of their juices.

'Huh,' Tommy thought, 'So that's what that button does.'