Leave Me

Author's note:

This story is a sequel to Hate Me.

*

As usual Alex was filled with a mixture of emotions as she approached Nikita's HQ, but most notably fear and excitement. Fear that she would find the woman she loved dead or worse that she would lead their enemies to them and live just long enough to see Nikita die. But Alex was constantly haunted by those thoughts and while they got stronger whenever she was about to see Nikita again they were overwhelmed by her feelings of joy at once again seeing the older woman who was her everything.

Her heart pounded ever faster in her chest the closer she got and then it skipped a beat upon seeing Nikita alive and well. However no sooner had a relieved smile crossed Alex's face her training kicked in forcing her to analyse her surroundings. It was then that Alex noticed the totalled computer. Other things seemed in disarray but on further inspection of the room, and Nikita, it was only the computer screen and hard drive which was riddled with bullets.

"What happened to the computer?" Alex asked.

"Michael. He and I had a heated discussion." Nikita said, a tiny smirk briefly crossing her face as she approached the younger girl, "It ended with a trip to Russia to help him settle an old score. That's where I've been the last couple of days."

"With him?" Alex found herself blurting out, hating how blatantly jealous she sounded.

"Yes." Nikita said softly, not missing Alex's tone, "And in case you're wondering, nothing happened. He has feelings for me, he always has, and maybe in another life I might have explored that, but I made it clear to him there was someone else."

"Oh." Alex mumbled, happiness overwhelming her for a second before she asked, "Is that going to be a problem?"

"I doubt it." Nikita said dryly, "We found out that Percy was the one that arranged to have his family killed so he's agreed to help us take the bastard down."

"That's great." Alex said, before quickly clarifying, "Not about what Percy did, that's horrible, but if this means there'll be two of us on the inside-"

"No!" Nikita almost yelled before calming herself, "Michael has almost unlimited access to Division. With him on our side there is no reason for you to go back."

Alex just stared at Nikita for a moment and then asked, "So what do you want me to do?"

Nikita moved so she was standing right in front of Alex, "First we need to remove your tracker. Like I said, I know a guy who can do it, and give you a new identity-"

"I don't want a new identity." Alex snapped angrily, "I don't want to run. I won't. I won't leave you!"

"I don't want you to leave!" Nikita snapped back, somewhat softening her tone as she added, "I want you to stay. I want you to stay here with me, and I want to make this place nuclear bomb proof and lock it down so tight no one could ever get to you. But the truth is as long as Division is around it doesn't matter what I do your life will be in danger. So me and Michael are going to finish this. Finish them once and for all. And I want you by my side for that, but I need you to understand... if you stay I can't guarantee your safety."

"I don't care." Alex snapped again, albeit without a hint of anger this time, "I'm staying."

Nikita half smiled, "I hoped you'd say that."

Alex cautiously stepped forward, "Were you really expecting me to say anything else?"

Again Nikita softly smiled, "You should know by now I always expect the worst, but-"

"Prepare for every potential outcome, I know." Alex said, stepping into Nikita's personal space, "I just don't see how you could ever think me leaving you was a possible outcome."

"It should be. You should leave me. You should hate me. You should-" Nikita snapped, and then when her lover gave her a look she sighed, took Alex into her arms and said, "And I know, I know you don't care how I think you should feel, but honestly Alex I don't deserve you. And for all my careful planning I didn't see this coming. I didn't see falling in love with you as a possible outcome and now I can't sleep, I can't eat... I can barely function because I'm worried they'll take you away from me the way they took Daniel. And I loved him, but not as much as I love you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. So please Alex, leave Division. Please leave Division so I can keep you safe. Please... stay with me."

What was possibly the most genuinely happy smile she'd ever had crossed Alex's face as she replied, "With you, is the only place I've ever wanted to be."

Smiling with the same obvious happiness as her protégé Nikita stroked Alex's hair and whispered, "That's good. So good. But we still need to remove your tracker. After you called I contacted my guy but he can't do it until tonight. In the meantime... I'm open to suggestions..."

Alex was a little taken aback by that last comment, particularly the tone of it. Back before they were sharing a bed Nikita had been strictly business with her for the most part, and when they had become lovers Nikita had grown cold as ice. It had been worse during sex, Nikita treating Alex like trash in a misguided attempt to stop the younger girl from falling in love with her. So it was kind of jarring for Nikita to be playfully flirting with her, albeit a little cautiously, the deadly assassin looking a little worried as Alex hesitated to reply.

Refocusing on what was important Alex softly smiled and said, "I could think of a few things."

Then she lent in to kiss Nikita which led to another pleasant surprise for Alex. Namely Nikita leaning in at the same time and with the same slow pace resulting in a kiss which was more reminiscent of strangers than long time lovers. Once their lips met there was still the passion of two people who had thoroughly explored each other's bodies but there was still a cautiousness more associated with a first time kiss and a gentleness Alex had never received before. It was breath-taking. Not that kissing Nikita wasn't always breath-taking because it was, this was just... different. Wonderfully different.

It was different because Nikita wasn't kissing Alex like she was her lover, but like she was in love with her. Of course Nikita had been in love with Alex for a while but she was now embracing those feelings instead of fighting them. Embracing her passion for the young girl, Nikita trying to tell Alex she loved her through the kiss. Which admittedly she had done right after finally telling Alex how she felt, but a hello kiss is different to one given in the middle of sex. Or right after it. Or a reluctant goodbye.

For the most part Nikita enjoyed gently kissing Alex. It brought back a few bittersweet memories of former lovers but fortunately it was difficult to concentrate on anything that wasn't this girl in her arms. The only other thing that was really on Nikita's mind was guiding the younger spy to the bed and stripping them both of their clothes, something she took a great deal of time and care in doing. Nikita used that same amount of care to lower Alex on the bed before gently pushing her into the centre of it and then getting on top of her.

After that Nikita just concentrated on kissing her young lover, just enjoying what felt like a perfect moment for who knows how long until eventually she broke away from her protégé, looked into her eyes and whispered, "Alex... the way I've treated you, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." Alex whispered breathlessly, "We've been through this. You don't have to be sorry about that, I loved every minute of it."

"I know, but..." Nikita hesitated briefly, then added, "But I wish our first time had been different. By then I was in love with you, I should have acted like it. I should have accepted it and told you how I felt. I should have shown you how I felt. I should have made love to you. I was just so scared. Of loving you, of admitting the truth... and I somehow deluded myself into believing as long as I kept telling you and myself you were nothing to me then if I ever lost you it wouldn't completely destroy me and leave me a useless wreck. I, I was a coward, and for that, I'm sorry. But I'm going to make it up to you. I promise. And I'm going to start by giving you the first time you deserve."

With that Nikita pressed her lips to Alex's again, this time pushing her tongue into her mouth right from the get go and using a tiny bit more force than before as an attempt to make her forget about the last thing she had said. It was something Nikita had considered bringing up more directly before chickening out, that being because she trusted the wrong people Alex's first time was a nightmare. Of all the many, many mistakes Nikita wishes she could go back and change that somehow, or at least change her own unforgivable behaviour, but alas she couldn't. All she could do right now was make love to this girl who she could no longer live without, Nikita determined to keep her promise of making it up to her protégé.

Breaking the kiss again Nikita whispered, "I love you."

Alex smiled softly, "I love you too."

Nikita returned the smile and briefly kissed Alex again before moving from her lips to her neck, the more experienced spy leaving a trail of gentle pecks in her wake before stopping a while to lick, suck and nibble at her lover's soft flesh. She repeated this process when she moved from Alex's neck to her tits, Nikita first kissing her way down the other woman's body until she could take one of Alex's nipples into her mouth and suck on it. And lick it, Nikita moving back and forth between those nipples and using a varied amount of force to worship each one. The biting was less frequent and less rough than usual, Nikita only using her teeth because she knew how much Alex loved it.

While Alex did love it she wasn't so much a fan of this gentle teasing. Of course Nikita had teased her in other ways before, and the older woman had trained her to withstand much harsher tortured than this so Alex kept her mouth shut and just tried to enjoy what was happening to her. Which in some ways was easy, given everything Nikita was doing felt good and it was blissful to have the goddess she loved gently making love to her. However even when Nikita moved lower she deliberately ignored the place Alex most wanted her, the deadly assassin instead concentrating on gently kissing her stomach, thighs and even all the way down her legs. Seemingly everywhere except Alex's needy pussy.

So by the time Nikita finally pressed her tongue against the bottom of her cunt Alex was nearly delirious with need, the young spy letting out a guttural cry of relief which quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as the wicked tongue travelled all the way up to her clit. Nikita kept her tongue on Alex's clit just long enough to make the brown haired girl's eyes roll back in her head before starting a steady rhythm, Alex whimpering as her mentor deliberately avoided her clit but more than made up for it with her skilled licking.

Again this was so different to what Alex was used too. Normally Nikita would go down on Alex until she had made the younger girl cum at least once, the older spy wrapping her upstairs lips around Alex's downstairs lips so she could suck the cum from her before tongue fucking her. When Nikita was stressed out and in need of an orgasm right from the get go she would shove Alex to her knees so the Russian girl could eat her pussy, after which Nikita had often return the favour using the same suck and fuck technique. She had only started by tongue fucking Alex a couple of times, most recently when Nikita had her pinned down underneath her on the training mats and the far more deadly assassin hadn't been able to resist turning it into an 69. However this, this was new.

Alex wasn't sure what to think of this new treatment at first. She was so used to instant gratification, or at least instant incredible pleasure, that all the gentle foreplay had been a little jarring. In some ways it was the same with the gentle pussy licking she was now receiving. It also felt increasingly frustrating not to get the overwhelming ecstasy she knew Nikita could so easily give her. However there was a new intensity Alex adored and when it was combined with the sensation of the soft cunt lapping it was more than enough to make the young brunette writhe joyfully on the bed.

Nikita was feeling a little lost so Alex's writhing and moaning was more than welcome. It always had been as Nikita got a primal thrill out of pleasing her lovers regardless of what they meant to her, or what she pretended they meant to her. However this was particularly welcome because while Nikita had fucked many, many women she had never made love to one before. Her attempt at the end of their last sex session didn't really count and Alex had needed to rush off in the morning so this was the first time Nikita had a chance to truly make love to this girl and she desperately wanted to do it right.

Luckily Nikita had a chance to do some research before Michael destroyed her computer, and she had occasionally ordered Alex to give her pussy a gentle licking, so she did have some idea of what she was doing. There was also definitely something to be said for instincts. However Nikita had never been this anxious and nervous to please a lover before and combine that with using an unfamiliar technique it was such a relief to receive positive, if unintelligible, feedback.

It also helped that Nikita was really, really enjoying herself. Licking Alex's pussy like this was so wonderfully intense and Nikita felt more connected to her young lover than ever, which was really saying something considering the past year or so. Best of all Nikita was really getting to savour the heavenly taste which was pure Alexandra Udinov. Sure, Nikita had known from the first time she buried her face in between Alex's legs that her protégé had a delicious little cunt, but she had always devoured it so ferociously she had somehow not truly appreciated how amazing it was.

Nikita was unsure how long she spent savouring that flavour. It could have easily been hours, Nikita not wanting to check but knowing she had to, and sadly not just because her plan demanded that at some point she replace her tongue with her fingers. So eventually Nikita did just that, for once taking the time to watch as she rubbed her index finger along Alex's pussy lips before slowly pushing it inside her younger lover and began fucking her with it. To have such a close-up view of her finger pumping Alex's pussy was enough to make Nikita want to stay in between the other brunette's thighs forever, yet the more mature spy forced herself to lift her head up and look at the clock.

Seeing she still had plenty of time Nikita slowly moved up Alex's body until they were face to face, the whole time finger fucking the younger woman at a slow and gentle pace. She then stared into her beautiful blue eyes for a while before whispering, "Alex..."

"What?" Alex gasped after a little while, hoping Nikita wasn't going to ask her to leave her again.

Nikita wasn't, but she was struggling to find the right words to say what she wanted to say, "I can't give you everything you deserve. I can't take you out to the movies or to dinner, but I can spoil you in other ways. I can buy you pretty things, or steal them, and I'll cook whatever you want... do whatever I can to make you happy. So... if this is what you really want... if I'm what you really want... I'm ok with labelling this now. I'm ok with labelling us."

Alex was stunned, and not just by Nikita nervous for once but because of what her older lover seemed to be saying, "You mean like... labelling us the G word."

"Yes." Nikita smiled softly, "We could die at any moment, and... and I'm done holding back because of it. So, if it's really what you want, I'm all in."

Almost literally crying with joy Alex cupped Nikita's face and softly whispered, "You're the only thing I've ever truly wanted. The only thing. So, yeah... I'm all in too."

The two women exchanged a soft and extremely brief smile. Then a wicked grin crossed Nikita's beautiful face and Alex trembled in anticipation. Sure enough the young Division agent was soon trembling in pleasure as her beloved sensei picked up the pace of the finger fucking. At first it was only a little bit but it was more than enough to make Alex gasp joyfully. Then Nikita worked her way up until she was truly displaying the rhythm she was capable of, although this time while it was hard it was not quite rough, the experienced assassin once again showing off that she was a master of sex.

As Alex enjoyed the benefit of that she briefly took a moment to appreciate how unusual it was to talk about commitment during sex. Or at least she imagined it was. At least a meaningful conversation which pushed the relationship forward. Then again Alex's understanding of 'normal' was limited as it was something she could only study and never be. Nor was it something she truly wanted because what she had with Nikita was anything but normal and Alex loved it. So if anything it seemed appropriate to have an unconventional conversation about commitment, especially during sex which had defined their relationship for so long, and yet helped it change into what Alex had always wanted it to be.

Of course Alex thought this was it. All Nikita could manage for now. But she was wrong.

"Alexandra Udinov." Nikita huskily whispered, the older woman using a Russian accent which somehow made Alex's body tremble just as much as Nikita deliberately pausing to curl her fingers inside her, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Those earlier tears of joy which had threatened to fill her eyes were now streaming down Alex's face, the Russian girl literally weeping, "да! да да да! Yes! Oh God yes!"

"Then cum for me." Nikita demanded, as she began to slam her fingers in and out of Alex's cunt as fast as she could while staring into her lover's eyes, "Cum for me my girlfriend."

Hearing Nikita call her that, something she had wanted for so long, immediately sent Alex over the edge. Her body trembled, her pussy clenched down on those skilled fingers and she let out a sharp cry as she came, the whole time Nikita staring deep into her soul with a breath-taking intensity. Nikita kept her fingers still, allowing Alex to coat them with her cream. Then she smiled softly down at her protégé and began fucking her again, at first switching back to the gentle technique before gradually building Alex up to the point she was ready to cum again.

It was strange, Nikita had spent so long hating the way Alex looked at her because she didn't deserve it. Because it was wrong. Because it was a lie, Nikita truly believing that when Alex learned the truth about her involvement in her father's death the other girl would hate her. Yet here they were almost a week after Nikita had finally revealed the truth and Alex was looking at her with those big puppy dog eyes, wordlessly telling the deadly assassin she loved her in spite of everything.

Now that she had truly accepted Alex's love Nikita adored those big puppy dog eyes. Adored the way they showed total devotion to her, told her that Alex would never leave her, that she would always be hers. And they of course told Nikita of the tremendous pleasure Alex was now receiving from her touch, other parts of the younger spy's body telling Nikita the same thing. Specifically in the way Alex's face was awash with bliss and the way the other girl desperately clung to her as she rode out her orgasms.

Even when Nikita hadn't enjoyed the love she saw in Alex's eyes she had still stared into them when Alex came because it was perhaps the most intoxicating sight Nikita had ever seen. As she liked giving her lover's pleasure it was only natural she enjoyed staring into their eyes when they came, however there was something special about Alex. Perhaps it was because Alex had always been special to her, but there was just something about the way the Russian girl's eyes lit up when she came which drove Nikita wild.