Hi, everybody! … I'm going to assume you all said "Hi, Doctor Nick!" and move on. There's no real need for a lot of preamble here: This is a sex story. If you're under the age of 18, or you live in a part of the world where you're not allowed to read sex stories, then you really shouldn't read this. Cause it's a sex story, remember?
With that out of the way, let's get down to business. Feedback is nice; I really do enjoy getting it. Send me some at the address in my profile and I promise that I will get back to you.
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Chapter 1: McPheever
Saturdays in Las Vegas are Hell. It's always a tourist town, but on Saturday it seems like every moron within 300 miles of the place comes down to lose money, get drunk and generally annoy the folks like me who have to live here. Of course, LA's within 300 miles, so it also means we get a fair share of celebrities coming down and having everything handed to them. It's like the casinos think they'll get more business if Andy Dick shows up every now and then.
Now, not every Hollywood bitch that shows up here is a worthless twat like Andy Dick; some of them are attractive enough to briefly distract you from the horrible character flaws. Luckily, I happened to be sitting at a table across from one of those lovely "ladies" on one usually hot October Saturday; "Miss McPhee," I heard everyone calling her. I had already taken at least a couple thousand from her, though it probably would have been more if I had been able to take my eyes off of her and look at my cards for the past hour. She was annoying, she was bossy, she made sure to smile and strike a supposedly-sexy pose for every single camera that she saw, but God DAMN was she hot.
I was so distracted by her, I didn't even notice when she started beating me. My eyes were somewhere around her cleavage when she went all-in with what I was sure was nothing. I called. I looked down to my chip stack to push whatever meager amount she had left in, when I noticed something that shocked me.
"Where did all my chips go?" I turned around, expecting to see someone running from the table with their arms full of stolen chips. She laughed, the sort of infectious giggle that would be really annoying if one was exposed to it more than once every month or so. I turned back, and for once my eyes settled somewhere other than her body. My chips, the ones I had spent the past two hours winning from her, were back on the other side of the table, and I was the one who was all in! I had her on a bluff; she wanted me to fold, I called to get her out of my hair, thinking that my nothing would be better than hers. Of course, she actually had a hand, and I was broke. In an instant, it seemed, I had gone from wondering which new plasma to get to wondering if I was going to be able to pay the rent next month. She stood up, posed for a camera, smiled at me, and left. Her assistants gathered up my plasma, my rent and my pride, and followed after her.
I felt like I was moving through a daze for the next couple of hours. I got some cash out of an ATM, grabbed a cab back to my apartment, and just sat there, flicking channels aimlessly. After a drink, and then another, I decided that sitting around and feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to help anything. It would be much more productive for me to hit a bar, find some skank who thinks "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" gave her a license to fuck the first guy she saw, and take out my frustrations on her pussy rather than my liver.
Of course, it was still Saturday in Las Vegas, and that meant my regular stomping grounds were swamped. I had to wait 20 minutes just to get in, and even when I did I found it almost impossible to move through the place. I eventually managed to wiggle my way over to the bar, and had just ordered a Heineken when I saw her. She was in a corner, barely wearing a tight green dress that showed off nearly every bit of skin she had. After I got my drink, I called the bartender back over.
"Hey Tony," I shouted over the crowd and the loud music, "Who's that?" I gestured towards her with my bottle.
"Over in the corner?" I nodded. "You should know, man; she's famous."
"I guessed." She smiled, and stuck her ass out for one of the cameras that seemed to follow her everywhere. I could hear her stupid giggle all the way across the room. She looked in my direction, and for a second I thought our eyes met, but then she looked away.
"Come on, man, don't tell me you don't know Katharine McPhee!" The look on my face must have told him I didn't. "She was on AI, man! Runner up!" I opened my mouth, but quickly shut it. If Tony didn't know by now that I was the only guy in the world who had never seen a second of that crap, he never would. "Want me to introduce you?"
"No." I was already headed over there. "We've met."
"So I've got to ask," I started, with a combination of awe and anger, "How does a brainless Hollywood cunt like you wind up clearing me out?" Okay, it was mostly anger. Still, Katharine wasn't surprised; she smiled (God, she has a pretty smile) before answering.
"Well, you shit-eating douchebag," she said in a voice that, while friendlier than the one I had used, wasn't exactly friendly, "You have a tell."
"A tell."
"Yes. You give away your hand."
I rolled my eyes. "I know what a tell is, and I don't have one."
"Maybe not normally, but with me you sure did."
"Oh, really?"
"Yep. You see, when you had a good hand, you got lost in my eyes."
I stammered. "I wouldn't say I got lost…" Truth was, I did. Go ahead, look her up, see if you don't. Now imagine them in person.
"Oh yes, you did. You're doing it now." I made a point of looking away. "But, when you didn't have a good hand…" she stuck out her impressive chest, and everything around me went sort of quiet as my eyes made their way down, past her neck, finally coming to a stop staring at the gorgeous mounds of her soft, beautiful— "—tits."
I had to shake my head and blink a few times before responding. "…what?"
Again, she smiled when she should have hit me. "You looked at my tits when you had a bad hand."
I sighed, and started wondering why I had bothered confronting her. "Well, the least you could after practically robbing me blind is buy me a drink."
She licked her lips, looking me over as she did. "Sure. Not here, though." She took my hand and started to lead me through the crowd. I couldn't see where we were going, partly due to the crowd and partly due to the uncountable number of flashes that were going off all around me. After about a minute of this, we made it through a small door and into an alley next to the bar. Once I was able to rub all the little green circles out of my eyes, I was able to surmise that Katharine had pulled me out the side door, the star showing a rare urge to avoid the paparazzi.
Before I could open my mouth and get out any of the questions I wanted to ask, she was pulling me again, this time toward a white limo that had just pulled up at the end of the alley, maybe thirty feet away from us. She got in the back, and was trying to pull me in with her when I managed to break free. I heard shouting behind us, and turned my head to see what was causing it. Mistake. The press had followed, and I was greeted by the sight of about half a dozen photographers running toward me, and again with the damn flashbulbs. Katharine grabbed me with both hands and pulled me into the car, the driver gunning it before the door had even been shut.
Katharine climbed over me and pulled the door shut while I took stock of my new surroundings. The back of the limo was less like the backseat of a car, and more like a fancy living room that just happened to be moving. Black leather seats wrapped around the entire interior, except for a bar area and the door I had just been yanked through. The floor was soft, carpeted, red with an intricate black pattern in the shape of a rose. I temporarily lost myself, and tried to get to my feet. After bumping my head on the ceiling, I sheepishly crawled into a seat. Katharine had poured two glasses of champagne, and she gave me one, raising her own.
"To Simon Cowell," she said enthusiastically, downing her glass in one sip.