Hi, everybody! … I'm going to assume you all said "Hi, Doctor Nick!" and move on. There's no real need for a lot of preamble here: This is a sex story. If you're under the age of 18, or you live in a part of the world where you're not allowed to read sex stories, then you really shouldn't read this. Cause it's a sex story, remember?
With that out of the way, let's get down to business. Feedback is nice; I really do enjoy getting it. Send me some at the address in my profile and I promise that I will get back to you.
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Chapter 1: McPheever
Saturdays in Las Vegas are Hell. It's always a tourist town, but on Saturday it seems like every moron within 300 miles of the place comes down to lose money, get drunk and generally annoy the folks like me who have to live here. Of course, LA's within 300 miles, so it also means we get a fair share of celebrities coming down and having everything handed to them. It's like the casinos think they'll get more business if Andy Dick shows up every now and then.
Now, not every Hollywood bitch that shows up here is a worthless twat like Andy Dick; some of them are attractive enough to briefly distract you from the horrible character flaws. Luckily, I happened to be sitting at a table across from one of those lovely "ladies" on one usually hot October Saturday; "Miss McPhee," I heard everyone calling her. I had already taken at least a couple thousand from her, though it probably would have been more if I had been able to take my eyes off of her and look at my cards for the past hour. She was annoying, she was bossy, she made sure to smile and strike a supposedly-sexy pose for every single camera that she saw, but God DAMN was she hot.
I was so distracted by her, I didn't even notice when she started beating me. My eyes were somewhere around her cleavage when she went all-in with what I was sure was nothing. I called. I looked down to my chip stack to push whatever meager amount she had left in, when I noticed something that shocked me.
"Where did all my chips go?" I turned around, expecting to see someone running from the table with their arms full of stolen chips. She laughed, the sort of infectious giggle that would be really annoying if one was exposed to it more than once every month or so. I turned back, and for once my eyes settled somewhere other than her body. My chips, the ones I had spent the past two hours winning from her, were back on the other side of the table, and I was the one who was all in! I had her on a bluff; she wanted me to fold, I called to get her out of my hair, thinking that my nothing would be better than hers. Of course, she actually had a hand, and I was broke. In an instant, it seemed, I had gone from wondering which new plasma to get to wondering if I was going to be able to pay the rent next month. She stood up, posed for a camera, smiled at me, and left. Her assistants gathered up my plasma, my rent and my pride, and followed after her.
I felt like I was moving through a daze for the next couple of hours. I got some cash out of an ATM, grabbed a cab back to my apartment, and just sat there, flicking channels aimlessly. After a drink, and then another, I decided that sitting around and feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to help anything. It would be much more productive for me to hit a bar, find some skank who thinks "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" gave her a license to fuck the first guy she saw, and take out my frustrations on her pussy rather than my liver.
Of course, it was still Saturday in Las Vegas, and that meant my regular stomping grounds were swamped. I had to wait 20 minutes just to get in, and even when I did I found it almost impossible to move through the place. I eventually managed to wiggle my way over to the bar, and had just ordered a Heineken when I saw her. She was in a corner, barely wearing a tight green dress that showed off nearly every bit of skin she had. After I got my drink, I called the bartender back over.
"Hey Tony," I shouted over the crowd and the loud music, "Who's that?" I gestured towards her with my bottle.
"Over in the corner?" I nodded. "You should know, man; she's famous."
"I guessed." She smiled, and stuck her ass out for one of the cameras that seemed to follow her everywhere. I could hear her stupid giggle all the way across the room. She looked in my direction, and for a second I thought our eyes met, but then she looked away.
"Come on, man, don't tell me you don't know Katharine McPhee!" The look on my face must have told him I didn't. "She was on AI, man! Runner up!" I opened my mouth, but quickly shut it. If Tony didn't know by now that I was the only guy in the world who had never seen a second of that crap, he never would. "Want me to introduce you?"
"No." I was already headed over there. "We've met."
"So I've got to ask," I started, with a combination of awe and anger, "How does a brainless Hollywood cunt like you wind up clearing me out?" Okay, it was mostly anger. Still, Katharine wasn't surprised; she smiled (God, she has a pretty smile) before answering.
"Well, you shit-eating douchebag," she said in a voice that, while friendlier than the one I had used, wasn't exactly friendly, "You have a tell."
"A tell."
"Yes. You give away your hand."
I rolled my eyes. "I know what a tell is, and I don't have one."
"Maybe not normally, but with me you sure did."