Note from author- Here's a twist, a celebrity writing erotic fiction about herself! This is in no way based on any real event or persons. It is only inspired by those mentioned. I do not own the rights to the Lone Ranger character and have not written this for monetary gain, it's all just for fun. Remember also Kaley is writing this from her point of view and may not reflect actual details from the old West. Also disregard the crap Depp movie.
xxx
Kaley Cuoco laughed so hard that her ribs hurt and she was in danger of falling out of bed. Which would have made her broken leg, encased in its protective cast, highly likely to break for a second time. She had been bedridden for two whole weeks and had been forced to take a sabbatical from recording her hit television show in Burbank. Her fiance and she had been horse riding when the unlucky blonde fell and broke her tibia.
Bored and lonely, Karl had been summoned away out of town on business, Kaley had gotten passionate about writing. He had been a sweetheart and had purchased for her the latest Apple iPad Pro with the twelve inch screen and she loved it. First she attempted to write a script for a spin off series starring her as Penny but had scrapped it half way through. Then she stumbled upon the fan fiction site Literotica.com and she was highly amused by some of the stories purporting to be about her and her sex life. By far the funniest and downright outrageous ones were by some English guy calling himself 123z which left her in hysterics.
"Stupid moniker, he should have chosen Buck Ram or Stud-U-Like, something a bit more imaginative. Gee, I can write better than this."
She took a swig of her Mocha Java and began to write her tall tale.
x
'The tale of the female Lone Ranger.'
Texas, 1893.
The solitary figure rode along the dusty trail as the sun began to drop in the cloudless blue sky. The female rider was on a beautiful white mare whose coat glistened decidedly silver in the sunshine as she galloped to her destination. Dressed in a white felt hat and a short sleeved blue dress the young woman appeared to be slim and athletic and her long fair hair shone in the afternoon sun. The one thing that turned peoples heads, besides her sizzling look obviously, was the black felt eye mask that concealed her features.
Kaley had been widowed when her Texas Ranger husband and his crew had been killed by outlaws as they had carried out their duties two Summers ago. Heartbroken the daring and resourceful woman had vowed to get even and had taken up the mask as a disguise and she had become a vigilante.
"Almost there, Silver, good ride sweetie." She patted her horse and smiled.
Headed for the small town of Sweetwater, due west of Abilene, she had heard rumours of her husbands murderers holding up there. As night fell the excellent horse woman finally arrived and hitched her beloved Silver to the rail outside a well lit bar. All heads turned as she pushed open the swing doors of the Bull's Head Saloon and stood in the threshold.
"Now what in tarnation do we got here?" Said a male voice.
Apart from the bartender and a dark figure at the end of the bar the only others in the smoky room were four cowboys around a table playing poker.
"What'll it be?"
The fat saloon patron in the striped apron reached automatically for a whiskey bottle. He was polishing the long panelled Mahogany bar with a white cloth when he looked up.
"A glass of cold water. I don't imbibe." Said Kaley unblinking.
"Water? Fine, no charge."
"Thanks."
Kaley turned and leaned back against the bar as four lecherous pairs of eyes mentally undressed her. With her left boot backed up against the brass floor rail she drained her glass. Her blue denim dress came mid thigh and the lace up front was undone halfway so that her C cup breasts were clearly visible to all. The cinching waist gave her figure a curvaceous look that made the men dribble down their grimy beards. On her feet she wore a pair of black pointed cowboy boots with white stitching along the sides and a chunky two inch heel. All four men failed to take in her low slung cowhide gun holster with the two nickel plated Colt Army revolvers.
"Looking for a party? I see you came in masquerade costume already, love the mask."
The man who spoke looked her up and down and licked his lips. He got up and walked over and joined the silent blonde at the bar. His dirty duster was splattered with mud, and his hat had seen better days.
"Hey, you got some rack of tits on you I do declare."
His left hand cupped her right boob through her dress and whistled, his whiskey breath made Kaley grimace with disgust.
"Get your goddamn hands of me, creep!"
Kaley kneed the surprised cowboy in the nuts and he doubled over in agony. Two others leapt up and approached the seemingly vulnerable masked woman, but in the blink of an eye she drew both of her revolvers.
"Relax fellers and don't get me riled." Kaley's eyes flashed pure fire as she pointed the single action guns at the men's groins.
"Best do as she says boys. This little Miss is meaner than a rattler and faster than lightning with a gun."
Kaley looked past the heads of the cowboys and saw the Sheriff of Sweetwater with his Winchester model 1892 rifle cocked and loaded. The winded man got to his feet and all four saddle tramps hightailed it out of the saloon double quick. Kaley locked eyes with the man in a wide brimmed brown hat atop his tousled shoulder length hair and holstered her guns. He looked the spitting image of Wild Bill Hickok with his chin beard as he lowered his rifle.
"What brings you to town, Lone Ranger. Yeah, I heard of you, a broad riding on the plains in a black mask on a silver horse. Is it true you only use silver bullets?"
This was Sheriff Mike Hunt. ( Say it very fast- note from Kaley.) He was tall and had a dustcoat down to his knees over a striped collar less shirt buttoned all the way up to his neck. His brown frontier trousers looked a little too tight in the crotch and a generously sized bar ran down his left upper thigh. Kaley tipped her white hat back further on her honey blonde mane and peered at him from behind her mask and scrutinised his law badge.
"Now what brings your fine and peachy ass to Sweetwater?"
"Unfinished business, I'm looking for a low down critter who goes by the name of Bud Light. You seen him?"
Mike scratched his beard and sighed as he gazed into her big green eyes under her mask and then looked directly at her sensual mouth. The smoking hot blonde wore her hair long and it now cascaded around her high cheekbones and about her shoulders in loose waves. Up close he could smell the sweet scent from her golden locks.
"Now why would a pretty little thing like yourself be wanting business with that piece of shit outlaw."
"I just said cloth ears, unfinished business. Pay attention."
Kaley pouted and stared into his pale blue eyes and felt a small quiver in her stomach.
"Look, I want no trouble from you young lady, you've only been in town for five minutes and already you're brandishing your shooting irons."
"Can't make any promises, Sheriff. Just make sure you have an empty cell or two in the jailhouse."
The dark haired lawman nodded at her boldness and checked out her cute posterior.
"If you need help I sure can watch your back." His eyes didn't waver from her butt.
"Seems to me it ain't my back you'll be concentrating on. Eyes up here if you please. Now, I need a room for the night. A single bed mind."
"Fair enough mystery lady. First room upstairs on the right. Pleasant dreams."
She watched Mike leave the saloon in a loose limbed but graceful stride, his spurs ringing on his boots, then the bartender handed Kaley a fresh towel and full water jug. Exhausted after her long ride she attended to Silver and brought one of her saddle bags and sought out her crib. Entering the room she lit the solitary oil lamp. She had barely taken off her white hat when Kaley saw black as she was coshed on the back of her head.
x
Kaley awoke and found herself tied and naked to a wooden chair by the wrists and waist with two yards of rope. She looked around the dimly lit room and perceived what seemed to be some sort of cabin, with a stone fireplace and a single window. Across from an oak table stood two surly looking men silhouetted by the light. One was almost certainly Bud and the other probably his creep Jack Meoff. ( Say it fast.) For some reason they had left her in just her mask. She tested her binds and her bared big tits jiggled as she discovered she could not move an inch.
"I hear you been looking for me, masked lady, and I don't like being looked for, get me?"
She looked at Bud in his worn jeans and light blue shirt. His eyebrows were thick and dark above eyes so brown she couldn't make out his pupils.
"Oh yeah, well you don't know the half of it. I'm taking you in Bud Light for killing Karl Cuoco and his crew."
"Who? You mean those Rangers years ago? Just who the hell are you anyhow? The Lone Ranger? Didn't you have an Indian sidekick?"
"Duh! The LONE Ranger? As in I ride alone, with nobody else, dumbass!" Kaley rolled her eyes in exasperation. "And where are my clothes?"
Bud made to remove Kaley's mask and she tried to back away as much as possible in the chair keeping her well shaped thighs tight shut. Realising her situation the shrewd blonde thought quickly as she squirmed on her soft ass in the chair.
"Don't get sassy, you're in no fit state to be throwing your weight around, right Jack?"