(This is a story in wrote in 2022 and which I've shared elsewhere. Jonah Falcon is an American actor, perhaps best known for owning the world's biggest functioning penis. Nine and a half inches long flaccid and thirteen and a half fully erect, with a girth of some eight inches, it is an impressive organ. Since coming to public attention in a big way in 1999, Jonah has undertaken numerous radio, television and online magazine interviews. Those interviews have, for entirely understandable reasons, focused in large measure on his sexual prowess and the challenges as well as opportunities which go with having a large penis in the bedroom. To the best of my knowledge Jonah has exercised a certain reserve about the urological implications of having such a large penis. That is his right and prerogative. It has a flip side though to the extent that those who have an interest in the urological side will, in the absence of authoritative information, join up the dots in whatever way stacks up or makes sense to them. In common with other stories, I've written featuring Jonah this is entirely a work of fanfiction, even though it contains some elements which may have a little basis in fact.)
Bright early morning sunshine streamed through the bedroom window, waking a somewhat sleepy Jonah. After a transatlantic flight he always felt a little tired and adjusting to the time zone difference took its toll these days. One thing apart from the sunshine had woken him and that was the need to pee. It was hardly surprising since he'd not been since finding a tolerably clean disabled toilet at the airport some eleven hours earlier. He disliked using public toilets and would certainly never have been caught using a urinal. However, at the end of a nine-and-a-half-hour flight it had been a case of either doing that or pissing his pants, which wouldn't have been the best way to start his visit to the United Kingdom.
Now he needed to go again -- and badly. Just as he was about to got up, he heard the door to the communal bathroom at the end of the landing slam shut. Damn! Someone had beaten him to it and, from the sounds he could hear, it was possible they might be in there for the duration. What on earth had possessed him to book a room in a cheap B & B which didn't have en suite facilities? Well, to be honest, he'd never actually checked. He'd just assumed, not unreasonably, that all British B & Bs must have en suite bathrooms in the 21st Century. Now he cursed his neglect of that little bit of due diligence.
Looking around he considered his options. There was a sink but it was set too high for even his cock to reach and even attempting to use it for relief would be futile. Now where was that travel flask he often carried and was designed to hold a litre and a half of whatever he desired? Rummaging through his bag, the grim realisation dawned that it was across the pond in his New York apartment. Clutching his penis and desperate for relief he considered the carpet. It would give the silverfish in this damp, stinking B & B something to swim in. No, he just couldn't do it, fearful that the flood would just be that too obvious. Then he considered pissing the bed. Some guests were bound to do it. No, he couldn't risk some chamber maid going to the tabloids and a headline appearing along the lines of "Guy with the world's biggest penis wets the bed!" If Jonah decided to wet the bed from time to time that was his business, but it really wasn't something he wanted on the front page of one of the Sunday tabloids. His legendary penis was a little like royalty. Much of its magic lay in its mystery. Right now, the magic and the mystery were starting to wear off as his desperation increased and he wondered how much longer he could hold out without pissing all over the place.
Reluctantly he pulled a pair of pants on and ventured into the hallway. Confound it, that bathroom was still occupied. Increasingly desperate, he grabbed his penis through his pants. If he started spurting, he was done for. There would be a torrential flood in no time. As he did so a voice boomed behind him
"Stop that right now, young man. It's disgusting!"
Jonah turned to look and an elderly woman, who he suspected might be a retired teacher, glared at him. Tightening the grip on his penis he answered her.
"Sorry madam but I'm desperate, really desperate."
The woman gave a snort.
"Well, that's not my fault, is it?"
Suddenly the door opened and what looked like a disgruntled businessman emerged. Jonah hurried past him, almost flying into the bathroom, yanked his pants down and flung himself onto the toilet and started pissing uncontrollably for what must have been a full two minutes. The look of shock on that woman's face when she glimpsed his cock as his pants came down, pee already starting to exit it, had been priceless. Finishing up, he examined his pants and they were slightly damp but it was nothing that wouldn't dry quickly. It was, however, the closest near miss he'd had so far without completely pissing himself.
Seven and a half hours later he drained the last of a large cup of Starbucks and consulted his watch. It was now a little after two thirty. It had been a productive morning involving an interview and meetings with a publisher and a film producer. However, he'd not used a toilet since that frantic early morning piss and, he would have to hold it for some time longer. Recently he'd met a woman online called Clare who'd expressed a wish not only that he'd fuck her if he visited her town, but do so with a full bladder too. Now Jonah had fucked plenty of women over the years and he'd quite often done it with a full bladder. It had never, ever, been planned that way or done at the woman's request. It was just the way things had turned out and most of them had never even known until he went to the bathroom afterwards to flush the tubes out.
Clare, however, was in a class of her own. She had specifically requested that he fuck her whilst his bladder was full and even hinted that she wouldn't mind if he emptied it whilst he was still in her. A few years younger than him, she was the antithesis of Susan, a woman he'd known several years ago, who adored his cock but was pee phobic. Until she'd discovered what really happened, he'd pretended to pee every night for a month in exchange for sex with Susan. Clare, however, was adamant that she wanted his cock in her when he needed to piss pretty badly.
Jonah mused that actually, sex was easier on a full bladder than an empty one. He got hard sooner and felt more aroused. However, he'd never before been in the position of deliberately holding his pee before sex and he only hoped that he wouldn't have to disappoint her. Considering his options, he decided that walking would be safer than getting a cab in view of his distended bladder which was starting to ache. He had her address and it was only a twenty-minute walk from here.
Twenty minutes later, as a nearby clock struck three, Jonah knocked on the front door of Clare's flat. It was opened by an attractive woman in her mid-forties. A broad grin spread over her face as she weighed him up.
"Hi. You must be Jonah."
"The very same -- and you're Clare I assume. Even lovelier than in the photo"
"Indeed. Thank you. I don't get so many compliments nowadays."
Clare fixed her eyes on the bulge in his crotch, her grin broadening.
"Well do come in Jonah, or should I say cum in? Would you like a drink first or should we get down to business?"
Jonah smiled.
"Let's get down to business. I'll have a drink later when I've made room for it."
Clare led him through to a bedroom which contained a king size bed, from which the duvet had been removed, and it was covered by a thick, plastic mattress protector. There was plastic sheeting all over the floor too. Clearly, she had expected the action to get wet and, quite literally, covered all bases.
