This anthology of porn reviews contains detailed, original and highly personal descriptions of my favorite scenes featuring pornographic actress Jenna Haze.
The impact Jenna Haze has had on my masturbation career is immeasurable. The truth is, try as I might, the mere words written here will never truly do justice to the imprint Jenna Haze has had on my solo sex life. Nonetheless, I try my level best here to put into prose, insufficient as it may be, the bond I share with Jenna Haze. A bond built through decades of viewing her pornographic performances on video while gripping my cock and tickling my balls.
Through this series of porn reviews, I pay humble tribute to my parasocial romantic relationship with my sweet little girlfriend, Jenna Haze.
My Sex Kitten
The first ever porn I saw of Jenna Haze, which was also the first ever POV/interactive style porn I ever saw, was Jenna Haze's
My Sex Kitten
DVD. The DVD featured two modes. "Good kitty" and "Bad kitty".
It was her "Good kitty" act that first captured my heart. It was here that I first fell in love with her flirty voice, her naturally naughty giggle, her mischievous eyes, her playful confidence, her radiant smile, her slim sexy figure.
However, switching to the "Bad kitty" mode opened up a whole new level of sexual adventure for me. After weeks of only beating off to her "Good kitty" part, and naturally getting accustomed to her as my sweet, playful girlfriend, I was instantly shocked into erection when I heard her snarling at me "You want to fuck this tight little fucking cunt don't you!"
This DVD quickly became my favorite jerkoff material for years. And yes, I mean years. Masturbating and cumming to one face and one voice over and over for years made me form a monogamous parasocial bond with Jenna Haze. Every night, I either sweetly made love to my "good kitty" girlfriend or aggressively hate-fucked my "bad kitty" whore. Repeatedly watching her POV sex on DVD, repeatedly taking myself to the bliss of orgasm to her flirty smile, her dirty voice or her sexual writhing, I pretty much built a long term psychological relationship with her. I had unwittingly trained my base physiological responses with her flirty smile, her naughty giggles, her filthy dirty talk and her sexy figure.
Neuro-chemically speaking, Jenna Haze was now for all intents and purposes, my porn girlfriend.
Zero Tolerance - Interactive Sex with Jenna Haze
If the Sex Kitten DVD was what made me bond with her, you can imagine my giddy obsessive excitement when I first purchased her
Zero Tolerance - Interactive Sex with Jenna Haze
DVD! This DVD is the greatest piece of pornographic content ever produced. This DVD was worth GOLD.
There were so, so many scenes and features on this DVD that would alone qualify as A+ jerkoff material. For example, I jerked off more times than I can count purely to her outdoor schoolgirl striptease. The way she looks back at the camera (at me!) through her glasses, the way she teases up her short schoolgirl mini skirt, the way she slowly strips off her top to play with her perfect A-cups, the way she flirts and smiles and giggles the whole time ...
Then there were the POV blowjobs. In the POV blowjob scene, the DVD options on the side were "Talk dirty to me" and "Shut the fuck up".
Yes, you can literally tell Jenna Haze to shut the FUCK up while she blows you on her knees and the DVD seamlessly switches feed, making Jenna literally shut the fuck up and continue to service you like an obedient blowjob prostitute. And if you're in the mood for her filthy dirty voice again, you can simply switch back!
There were days I'd be backed up and in a particularly aggressive mood, so I'd often start off the blowjob accompanied by Jenna's sexy voice to get myself stiff and randy, enjoying her filthy dirty talk as she sensually licked and slurped my dick. Then as I got close I'd literally scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP CUNT!" and switch options. Jenna would instantly shut the fuck up and the DVD would switch to a faster and more vulgar kind of blowjob allowing me to virtually fuck Jenna's bitch face POV style! The feeling of aggressively dominating this prime bitch-tease beauty, orally ravaging the kneeling woman vicariously through my screen and being able to virtually fuck her face and cum down her throat anytime I wanted always made me shoot extra hard and I often ejaculated copious volumes of extra slimy, extra sticky semen in thick, powerful ropes onto my laptop screen each and every time!
The clean-up afterwards was often arduous, but always worth it. :-)
Whore next door BJ
This one is a classic gem. The video opens with a close up on Jenna's face, and the cameraman bluntly asking her "How many dicks have you had in your mouth?"
Jenna just brazenly replies "I don't know! Honestly! I don't know! Hahaha!"
The guy eggs her on more. "So what, like more than a hundred?"
Jenna is slightly taken aback by his blunt personal question and then actually seems to do some math in her head! The airhead bitch goes blank for a few seconds and mutters out "ummm ... like how many guys cocks ... or ..." She then continues "Well I haven't fucked over a 100, but I've sucked over a 100 for sure! Oh yeah, well over that!" followed by her signature playful, flirty giggle. This was one of the classic evergreen Jenna Haze clips that I replayed a lot in my early Jenna Haze jerkoff years. The fact that this bitch admitted that she's had "well over 100" dicks in her mouth always got me stiff!
The rest of the video is a standard gonzo blowjob scene, interspersed with menial banter with the cameraman about how much of a whore she is and how much she loves being a slutty dicksucker, etc. However, one memorable moment at the end does stand out. She eagerly gulps down the guy's massive cumshot like she's been starved for days and enthusiastically states "Ah! Protein to help me get through the day!"
Flesh Hunter 2
This one opens with Jenna stepping out of an SUV, having ostensibly just won a beauty pageant! She has on a low cut black top and a sexy black flirt skirt that flairs open to expose her long teasing legs. Her outfit is complete with a cheap dollar store pageant queen tiara resting on her head and a sash draped over her torso that reads "MISS TEEN CALIFORNIA". The camera is set low, panning up to frame her as a pedestalized beauty queen goddess and, well, simultaneously giving us viewers some sweet upskirt action. ;-)
Jenna looks down at the camera from her vantage point and proudly beams:
"Hi! I'm Jenna Haze, and as you can see, I've just been crowned Miss Teen California!"
She quickly changes to a softer whisper, stating "... and I only had to suck off two judges to get it!" followed by her signature flirty laugh.
The cameraman doesn't let her off the hook. We hear him mutter out "Oh you little slut!"
Jenna coldly, without hesitation, simply agrees "Uh, little bit yeah!"
The cameraman continues, his voice dripping with lustful contempt "Oh, if everyone at the contest only knew what a little slut you are ..."
Jenna whispers to him "Shhhhh ... it's our secret!" followed by another naughty giggle, ostensibly making this cameraman now complicit in her dishonest pageant sluttery. :-D
We then have the classic gonzo porno trope of "walk up the stairs while the camera captures maximum upskirt". Jenna puts an extra sway in her hips with each step while arching her back to pull her skirt up even more, specifically going out of her way to make this voyeuristic upskirt treat as enjoyable as possible for the viewing perverts. Jenna keeps periodically turning back to look directly into the camera, and by extension, directly at us the porn viewers, treating us to flirty smiles, naughty winks and playful waves, giggling and jiggling the whole way through.
She reaches the top of the stairs to stand outside a door and declares:
"To celebrate my victory, I'm having a party. But the real party is in my mouth, and everyone's cumming!"
Jenna Haze is probably at the peak prime of her beauty in this video alone. Her flirty giggle after uttering that last line has often been enough to make me cum.
Jenna enters to three older scuzzy looking men already there waiting for her, ready to grab and ravage this teen beauty queen. Jenna is at her playful best here, continuing to smile, giggle, laugh and playfully flirt with each of them as these rough disgusting men grope her, grab her, strip her naked and prepare to devour her like a piece of meat.
Jenna is quickly pushed down to her knees as she opens her mouth to orally service these goons. She offers each man an extra sloppy, slurpy, sensual blowjob, moving from one dick to the other to make sure each man gets an opportunity to enjoy her slutty wet mouth. The best part here is that she keeps her tiara on to provide these men the ultimate fantasy of being sucked off by a teen prom queen beauty pageant princess!
What follows here is a wild 3-on-1 gangbang as these three perverted bastards grope, grab, strip and fuck Jenna every which way possible. After a combination of serial blowjobs, parallel blowbangs, spitroasting the bitch, double penetrating her ass and pussy, sodomizing her with fury and face fucking her with aggression, it's time for each one to blast their angry loads in Jenna's mouth.
I believe the plan here called for Jenna to hold all their semen in her mouth to perform the gonzo pornographic trope of "gargling multiple men's semen simultaneously to show off what a depraved slut I am" routine before swallowing. However, I believe Jenna swallows prematurely here in a rare misstep for this porn superstar. Being the consummate professional porn slut she is, she smoothly covers up for it, quickly blurting out in her dirty talking porn voice "I had to swallow it quickly ... the taste was making me horny!"
Jenna Haze Dark Side - adult store creeper blowbang
Though Jenna Haze was a seasoned whore in offering herself up as a sex slut to two men at once, she rarely, if ever, did any real multi-man blowbangs or gangbangs. One exception is her adult store creeper blowbang from
Jenna Haze Dark Side
. This one has always been a favorite of mine.
Yes, it is exactly what you think it is. Jenna Haze goes to the back of a porn video store where the private masturbation booths are, loudly and mockingly calls out every pathetic pervert in there, and brazenly presents herself to them as their blowbang slut. It's fun seeing her offer herself to these grimy masturbating mooks, as she taunts them by asking "want a real slut to get you off?" in a mocking tone of voice, almost sneering at them for being socially rejected sexless losers who have never actually had, as she put it so eloquently, "a real slut".
What follows henceforth is porn superstar Jenna Haze enduring an aggressive, bordering on violent, blowbang at the hands of these low status peep show creeps on the filthy backroom floor of a seedy porn shop's private masturbation room. These losers seize this rare opportunity to make full use of this "real slut" to get themselves off, slap her around, spit on her, push her head down on their dicks into their pubic hair, face fuck her into oblivion and then one by one blast their pent up frustrations onto her servile slut face.