Ivy And Harleys Fun Night Out

Greetings, everyone! Sorry I've been gone for so long. Here's a one-off I wrote to get back in the swing of things, based on an excellent idea by a loyal reader. Hope you like it!

*****

'Every time,' Poison Ivy thought.

Ivy looked at the woman who was standing sheepishly at her door step. Trying not to sound judgmental, Ivy acknowledged her.

"Harley."

"H-Hi, Red."

Harley Quinn always ended up on Poison Ivy's doorstep eventually. Sometimes it took weeks, sometimes months, but Harley always ended up appearing in front of Poison Ivy looking like she did now: her blonde ponytails disheveled, lines of black mascara running down her white powdered face, perhaps a rip or two in her red and black jumpsuit, a ratty bag thrown over her shoulder, a hangdog look on her face.

Each time Harley left, Ivy had threatened her that that Harley wasn't allowed back, that Ivy would leave no clues for Harley to find her, that next time she'd be all alone. But, each time, Harley would show up at Ivy's doorstep and Ivy couldn't bring herself to turn the lovelorn jester away. There would be a pause, a heavy sigh, and then Ivy would step to the side and allow Harley to enter.

"What happened this time?" Ivy said heavily.

"Oh Red, it's all my fault!" Harley said as she walked past, burying her head in her hands. "I'm never getting him back this time!" Harley collapsed onto the first thing she came past, which happened to be an immense violet. The flower lurched under Harley's weight and Ivy winced.

Harley began to sob, her hands still on her face, her body shaking the violet underneath her. Ivy crossed her arms and tapped her foot; this little routine also happened every time. Harley would cry and cry and blame herself for losing the favor of her psychotic boyfriend, The Joker, and then she'd mope around wherever Ivy was laying her head. Ivy steeled herself for the next few days.

The vegetarian villainess sighed once more, walked laboriously over to Harley and patted her on the head.

"There, there, Harley," Ivy said, rolling her eyes, "It'll be okay."

Harley didn't reply, only sobbing into her hands even harder. Ivy continued patting the top of her head and bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying something crass.

'Men,' Ivy thought to herself.

Harley cried and cried while Ivy waited and waited. Finally, the jester's sobs began to subside. Harley grabbed a leaf off of a nearby plant and used it to blow her nose while Ivy gritted her teeth. Harley wiped her nose and tossed the leaf behind her, then looked up with red eyes and smeared mascara.

"Can I stay here tonight, Ivy?" Harley said pitiably.

Ivy sighed once more. Every time.

"Sure, Harl," Ivy said with resignation. "Cot's in the back."

***

The next night, Poison Ivy was busy at her work desk. She had her fiery red hair held behind her head by a pencil and a white lab coat on that stood stark against her light green skin. Safety goggles securely fastened on her head, Ivy busily concentrated while she combined two chemicals.

Tried to concentrate, it should be said.

"OH HARLEY

YOU'RE SO FINE

YOU'RE SO FINE

YOU BLOW MY MIND

HEY HARLEY!

HEY HARLEY!"

Ivy placed the chemicals down and then leaned back in her chair. She glanced in frustration at the door to the next room, where Ivy could hear the sound of running water and the off-tune wailing of her wayward roommate. Ivy took off her safety goggles and rubbed her eyes.

Harley's mood had been veering from euphoric to deeply depressed all day. It was hard for Ivy to keep track; one moment Harley would be doing cartwheels, the next her eyes would tear up at the sight of some random trinket that reminded her of The Joker. Right before she had gotten in the shower she had become despondent when she saw a purple lilac because it reminded her of her beau's favorite color.

But now she was happy again. Ivy glanced over right as Harley bounded into the room clad in a small white towel. She was drying her wet blonde hair and smiling brightly.

"So Red," She began, "I was thinkin' that you and I should hit the town. Y'know, do somethin' fun. Get up to some mischief. Commit some hijinx. Hit the town runnin'. Paint the tow-"

Ivy put up her hand. "I get it," She said. "But Harl, I honestly have a lot of work to do. They're planning on opening up that new make-up plant in 3 days and if I don't get this poison up and running by then..."

While Ivy spoke, Harley's face fell. Her wide smile withered and died on her face and her shoulders slumped towards the ground.

"Oh," Harley said softly. "I understand." Harley turned and walked slowly back to the bathroom, her head hanging towards the floor. She stopped once and looked back with welling eyes at Ivy. Then she continued her long, doleful walk.

"Harley, wait, I-" Ivy began.

"No, no, it's okay," Harley said. "I understand that you're too busy for me. You probably don't want me around, just like... just like..." Harley's shoulders began to convulse and Ivy could tell she was winding up for a breakdown.

"Okay, okay," Ivy said quickly, jumping out of her chair and walk-running towards Harley. "I can wait until tomorrow to work on this. Let's go out. Whatever you want to do." Ivy put her hands on Harley's shoulders gently and steered her around.

"Ya mean it? Whatever I want to do?" Harley said softly as she slightly raised her head. Her wet hair was in front of her face and Ivy pushed it to the side.

"Sure," Ivy said, forcing a smile.

"Okay!" Harley said, suddenly smiling brightly. "I'll go get ready!" Harley hugged Ivy tightly, surprising her, and then skipped towards the bathroom. Her towel fell off as she skipped, giving Ivy a brief glimpse of Harley's tight ass.

Ivy had the sinking suspicion that she had just been conned. With Harley, you could never be sure. She sighed and headed over to her work bench to clean it up.

"So what DO you want to do tonight?" Ivy asked as she began dumping beakers and test tubes into the large sink. "Liberate an animal shelter? Scare some fat cat into saving a rainforest or two?" There was no response.

"...Harley?" Ivy said, louder this time. She didn't hear a response and looked towards the door. Harley was sticking her head out, smiling mischievously around the toothbrush in her mouth.

"You'll see..." Harley said somewhat ominously.

***

"You know, at some point you have to tell me what we're doing," Ivy said grumpily as Harley veered their stolen car wildly through the streets of Gotham. Harley only looked at her and smiled around the lollipop in her mouth, then looked back at the road and yanked at the wheel to avoid a semi.

Ivy crossed her arms grumpily. Harley had gotten Ivy into strange situations before, sure, but Ivy was generally included in the planning of the mischief. But now she was a passenger on Harley Quinn's Wild Ride and she didn't exactly appreciate it.

And she DEFINITELY didn't appreciate the drab outfit Harley had made her wear.

"We're goin' undahcovah!" Harley had said in her unmistakable accent as she slapped a floppy sun hat on Ivy's head. Ivy looked up to see underneath the brim at her friend.

"But Harley, it's night time," Ivy replied, yanking the hat off her head and examining it.

"We gotta stay hidden, Red," Harley explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You don't want anyone to see who ya are." Harley tossed a long brown trenchcoat at Ivy. "That'll cover your skin, I think."

Ivy grumbled, conceding that if they were going undercover then Harley had a point. But Ivy didn't appreciate dressing up for a scheme when she had no idea what the scheme actually was. She put on the trenchcoat over her familiar green costume, one that only covered the bare minimum of Ivy's skin. Ivy scowled when she noticed that the coat was several sizes too large.

"Why are we dressing up, exactly?" Ivy said, trying again to get Harley to spill her secret. Harley only smiled mischievously again and worked on her lipstick. She smacked her lips together and stepped back, presenting herself to Ivy.

"How do I look?" She asked triumphantly, already knowing the answer. Harley was wearing a tight white t-shirt that didn't quite go down to her skintight shiny red booty shorts. Thick black high-heeled boots went up to Harley's knees. She had a choker on and her blonde hair was pulled to each side in pony tails. Ivy could tell that Harley wasn't wearing a bra.

"If you're trying to be inconspicuous then I don't think that outfit's going to do it," Ivy said. Harley didn't look like Harley Quinn, wanted criminal, but anyone who saw her was definitely going to give her a second look.

"Ah it'll be fine," Harley said before running her tongue along her red lips. "Now put on ya disguise, Red, before it gets too late."

Ivy looked once again down at the droopy hat. "What is this made out of?" She asked tentatively.

And now, as they careened through Gotham, Ivy was examining her hat. "This is made out of hemp," Ivy said seriously. "Do you realize how many plants are murdered every year so that stoners can-"

Harley turned up the radio on the car, gave Ivy a sideways glance, and then began singing along loudly with the song. Ivy sank into her seat.

Finally, mercifully, Harley spun the car into an alley. Slamming on the brakes, she triumphantly proclaimed, "We're here!"

Ivy looked up and stared in confusion at the building Harley had stopped near. It was a 2-story brick building, relatively nondescript. It looked like a thousand other buildings in Gotham, with the exception of a large guard standing near the back entrance.

"What are we...?" Ivy asked with uncertainty.

"C'mon!" Harley responded, bounding out of her seat and slamming her car door. She disappeared before popping her head back into the window frame. "And put ya hat on!"

Ivy grumbled and gently put the hat on her head, being careful not to hurt the poor plant corpses that comprised it. Ivy stepped out of the car, wrapped the trenchcoat tightly around her, and followed Harley.

Harley busily sucked on her lollipop as she approached the burly man at the back entrance of the building. Ivy had been right; the man scanned his eyes towards the two of them, continued scanning, and then snapped his eyes right back towards Harley. He smiled at her as she approached.

"What's up, girl?" The man said, eying Harley lecherously up and down.

"Hi, Sugah," Harley responded. Ivy's eyebrows raised in surprise; the voice that had come out of Harley sounded much deeper than her normal, nasal voice. Apparently she knew how distinctive her normal voice was and was trying to disguise it. But why...?

"What can I do for you?" The man said, his eyes now focused only on Harley's tits. She pushed her chest out a little as she replied.

"We're here to have fun," Harley replied deeply, holding her hands behind her. This caused her breasts to stand out even more and the man licked his lips. Ivy wondered which one of them had the ability to control men's minds after all.

"Certainly, sweetheart. Is it just you or..." The man said. He finally unglued his eyes from Harley's tits and glanced over at Ivy. "Who's this?"

"Oh, that's my friend," Harley replied nonchalantly. She leaned forward to whisper. "She's tryin' to keep a low profile."

The man eyed Ivy suspiciously. Ivy thought their cover had been blown but Harley took the opportunity to give her lollipop a long lick and the man's attention was once more on her. He smiled and glanced down at his clipboard.

"You two will be in booth 5," He said. He leered at the two of them and smiled. "Same deal as everyone else: $75 per. Have a good time."

Harley winked at the man and brushed past him into the building. Ivy followed and found herself walking down a long hallway. The hallway, like the building, was nondescript; there was some light graffiti on the blank walls but that was it. Low uncovered bulbs gave only enough light to see where one was going.

Along one side were a series of doors, each numbered. They passed "1," then "2," as they entered deeper into the building. As they passed door number 3, Ivy stopped. A strange noise was coming from the door; Ivy leaned towards the door and thought she heard a person's voice. It almost sounded like they were moa-

"C'mon, Red!" Harley said, grabbing Ivy by the trench coat and pulling her down the hall. They reached a door with #5 scrawled on it and opened it up. Ivy felt a push on her back and stumbled inside.

Ivy was surprised to find that the room was a small booth, perhaps about 3 feet wide and a little deeper. A lone bare bulb hung from the ceiling, giving off inconsistent light. There were scratchings all over the walls and...

'Wait, those aren't scratchings,' Ivy thought. It was graffiti, hundreds of lines of graffiti on almost every inch of the walls. A large drawing of an erect dick was drawn on the back wall. "Magpie Was Here" was written to Ivy's left. On each side wall, approximately waist high, were two dark drawn circles. And to Ivy's right, the most common graffiti you could find in Gotham: "Fuck Batman."

Ivy heard a click and turned to find that Harley had followed her inside the booth, locking the door behind her.

"Harl, seriously, what the Hell is going on?" Ivy said.

Harley giggled. "Here, you don't need these anymore," She said, pulling off Ivy's hat and coat and tossing them into the corner. "Just wait like one more minute an-"

"HARLEY," Ivy said with a tone that let Harley know that her little game had gone on long enough

"Shh!" Harley responded, holding a hand to her lips. She glanced around furtively and then finally began to give up her game.

"Okay, okay, okay," Harley whispered. "You know how you're always sayin' that I should see other men for a while...?"

Ivy looked around; from somewhere nearby she thought she had heard a door open and shut. "Get to the-"

"Shh!" Harley said again, shutting Ivy up. "Well, I figured out how to see a lotta men at one time."

Ivy stared at Harley. The girl had clearly lost it this time. "Harley," Ivy whispered. "I think you need to stop and... what the...?"

Ivy had felt something poke against her leg. She glanced down and suddenly realized that what she thought was a circle drawn on the wall was not drawn at all; it was a hole.

And sticking through the hole, brushing against Ivy's leg, was a cock.

The dick was fully hard, pointing directly out into the booth. The hole said dick was sticking through was big and round, with duct tape wrapped around the sides. Whoever it belonged to was apparently straining to push as much of him through the hole as possible. The cock almost pulsed, as if searching for something.

"Oh my God," Ivy breathed, jerking her leg away from the cock. She brought a hand up to her mouth, the villainess in shock at what she was seeing. She looked at Harley and was startled to see her busily applying more lipstick to her lips. Harley finished and smacked her lips before tossing the lipstick into the corner

"Harley!" Ivy whispered harshly. "Harley, what're you..."

But Harley paid her friend no mind. Swiftly, she dropped down to her knees, smacked her lips one final time, and threw herself onto the disembodied cock.

Ivy gasped. Behind the wall, a voice groaned. And Harley breathed harshly as cock quickly filled her mouth. Harley sucked cock just like she did everything else: violently and with vigor. The small booth quickly filled with smacking and glugging sounds as Harley threw herself on the dick again and again. She paused only occasionally to run her tongue around the head of the quivering cock while she gripped hard around the slick shaft and jerked it. Then she'd throw herself back onto the cock, her hands and breasts pressed up against the wall, her tongue sticking out as the dick touched her throat.

Ivy still had her hand to her mouth, staring with wide eyes at this sudden turn of events. She had imagined Harley Quinn capable of a lot of things, but this? This was... Ivy wasn't sure what. Ivy gulped, unconscious of the fact that her mouth was beginning to water.

Harley, meanwhile, was still busily fucking her mouth. She pushed herself forward and held herself there, her lips coming millimeters from the wall. She convulsed slightly, prompting a moan from beyond the wall. Finally, Harley pulled herself back. A healthy amount of spit stayed behind, providing ample lubricant for Harley's hand as she began to furiously jerk the cock. She looked up at Ivy, smiling widely as lines of mascara began to run down her face.

"I think this is helping!" Harley whispered excitedly to Ivy. Spit hung from her chin, falling onto her white shirt. The damp shirt hung heavily between her perky breasts. On the wall, someone had tagged, "Crazy Bitch," the graffiti sitting just above Harley's head. Ivy couldn't disagree.

Ivy was about to haul Harley out of there when she suddenly heard a door opening to her left. It took her a moment but she was finally able to process what was happening as she heard footsteps coming closer. Her eyes slowly fell to the other hole in the wall, opposite of Harley's. She waited until, finally, she saw it.

Another cock.

This one, like Harley's, was moderately sized and already fully erect. It popped in to booth, bobbing around in search of a caretaker. Ivy didn't breathe.

"Hello...?" Came a voice from beyond the wall. Harley turned around and saw the unattended cock. Stroking her cock with her right hand, she looked up at Ivy and jerked her head towards the cock behind her.

"Uh-uh," Ivy said with closed lips, shaking her head.

"Mmmhmm," Harley said back. She pointed at the unattended cock, then brought a clenched fist up to her mouth and brought it back and forth to pantomime a blowjob. The implication was clear to Ivy.

"Uh, is anyone there?" Came the voice beyond the wall again. The cock was deflating slightly, drooping towards the floor.

"Just a-" Harley began to say before realizing she was speaking in her normal voice. She coughed and disguised her voice. "Just a second," She said throatily. Harley stared angrily at Ivy and then shifted her cock to her left hand. Reaching over with her right, she began jerking the new cock.

Harley was facing Ivy now as she knelt on the floor, both hands quickly jerking a cock. She grumpily glared at Ivy, as if Ivy had committed some sort of faux pas by not taking part.

"You promised, Red," Harley said with a mixture of sorrow and scorn, "Whatever I wanted to do."

Ivy shook her head once again, albeit less vigorously this time.

Harley scowled. "You're always saying that you love cock but hate men," Harley whispered. "Well..."

Ivy looked down at Harley. She then eyed the erect dick with a mix of fear and fascination. And then, for the umpteenth time in the last two days, Ivy sighed. Harley had a way of making Ivy do things she didn't want to do.

Slowly, uncertainly, Ivy dropped down to her knees. She shuffled herself over towards Harley and the cock. Harley pushed the cock forward towards Ivy. Reaching for it, Ivy gradually took over for Harley Quinn. Her hand moved slowly, pumping the cock. Beyond the wall, Ivy heard a groan. Ivy situated herself in front of the cock, her ass now rubbing against Harley's as they kneeled back-to-back towards the walls of the narrow booth.

As Ivy began to jerk the cock off, she noticed the graffiti written around the hole. One read, "Suck this and get a prize!" with an arrow pointing towards the cock. The other was written on the floor and Ivy noticed it as she positioned herself. It read, "Slut goes here," With an arrow pointing towards a spot on the ground. Ivy was sitting in that spot now. She frowned as she heard someone gasp from beyond the wall.

It wasn't well-known but Poison Ivy had a natural talent for stimulating cock. She had spent her whole life nourishing things, helping them grow strong and tall before coaxing them to bloom wonderfully. It only made sense that she was as adept at nurturing cocks as she was plants.