Hitchikers Guide Zooey Deschanel

"Godamitmothafuck!" I screamed, kicking my tire and stubbing my toe, just adding to my frustration as I watched the smoke rise from my engine. My name is Kenny Jensen, and I'm a reporter for the Arts and Entertainment division of a local magazine , and I was supposed to be covering some up and coming bogus indie rock punk with more hair gel then talent if you ask me, but nobody does. And now my car is broken down, my keys are inside with my cell phone(no service of course) and the doors are locked. Did I mention it was a hundred and three degrees outside? Now I get along great in the heat, but this isn't normal heat, this is the devils asshole heat, and I'm at least seven miles from anywhere useful go figure. So I start walking east.

I had been walking for over half an hour, when I hear a car horn, I think I would have wept with joy if I had any water left in body. Turning around I see a newer black BMW pull up right behind me. I walk over to the passenger door and the black tinted window rolls down and I'm looking at an extremely sexy black haired woman who smiles at me.

"Was that you're car back there?" she asks, looking like she's trying not to laugh at what horrible luck I'm having. And that smirk makes her look familiar, but I cant place her.

"Yeah it is," I replied. "I think it over heated," I said trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about.

"Yeah I'll say, that's what happens when a car catches on fire." Finally she smiled, and the way her face lit up made me not realize what she said for a moment, I just stared at her and finally it hit me.

"Wait, what?!" I cried, "you're shittin me right?"

"Afraid not boss, I can take you back there if you want." She said and I finally realized who she was, it was Zooey Deschanel from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

"No, its fine, would you mind giving me a lift to the next town so I can call for help?" I asked sounding more desperate than I would have liked.

"Hmmm," her face contorted into a mock mask of concentration that made me give a short hoarse laugh. "Well, I could do that I guess, as long as you're not some weirdo."

"Well I'm only a weirdo on Wednesday's and Friday's on odd months." I said, giving her my best toothy smile.

She smiled back, "whew, dodged a bullet there." we both laughed and I got into the car and she pulled off the shoulder throwing gravel behind her as we took off.

"Hi I'm Kenny," I said holding out my hand.

"Hi Shamus, I'm Zooey," she shook my hand and gave me a quick flash of a smile before turning her attention back to the road.

"Zooey Deschanel right?"

"Yup that's me!" she said with a sarcastic note of annoyance. "It's weird being noticed by people, I mean I'm not even that famous."

"Yeah I bet it is. Sorry, didn't know you were famous, I guess I forgot to tell you that today was one of my stalker days." I said failing to keep a straight face and she started laughing.

"You're cute you know that?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Well aren't we modest," she said with an eyebrow cocked making her look mischievous as well as extremely sexy.

"Yup that's me! You're everyday modest stalker and occasional weirdo!" we both started laughing at that and I couldn't help but notice the way her breasts jiggled when she laughed.

"So what do you do?" she asked when we quit laughing.

"I'm a reporter for a local magazine. I do interviews with local bands and cover concerts and stuff, nothing big but I have a passion for writing."

"That's really cool, I'm on my way to shoot a music video right now, if you want you could cover that and give me an interview... if you want that is, I mean you don't have to, it's just that I could use the publicity for the music, and I mean its up to you if you wanted..." she was rambling, and it occurred to me that she was nervous and self conscious, and it made her completely adorable. "So what do you say? Want to interview me?"

"Hmmm, not really, no." I said watching her out of the corner of my eye as her face fell. I instantly felt guilty about my joke and quickly added, "I'm kidding, I would love to!"

She smiled and looked relieved, "ok awesome! You can take a shower there, no offense but you kind of stink." She waved her hand in front of her nose like a kid waving away a fart and I laughed. "my ex-boyfriend left some clothes at the studio a couple weeks ago and he's about your size and you can change into those if you want."

"That would be wonderful thank you, you are so amazing!" I said meaning every word of it, and she blushed a little bit.

We made small talk the rest of the drive which lasted about twenty-five minutes or so, and when we got there she showed me to her dressing room and the shower saying that she would be back in a couple minutes with his clothes.

I started the shower and let it warm up waiting for her to return. I took off my shirt and looked at the dust and grease stains all over it and with a look of disgust I threw it in the trash. I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm 24, about 5'11 with a very muscular figure, earned from years of sports and exercise, with dirty blonde, and very curly hair that women love, and pale blue eyes. I ran my hands under the water in the sink and splashed it on my slightly sunburned face and washed some of the grit off.

I was drying my face when the door opened and Zooey walked in with the clothes. She saw my half naked body and flushed a little bit covering her face, which made me laugh, I told her it was fine, I was still dressed from the waste down.

"Sorry about that," she said. "I should have knocked first."

"It's fine, don't worry about it. If I suffered from a peeping tom half as gorgeous as you I'd be lucky."

She blushed again, this time her pale face becoming redder than before. "You're very sweet."

"No ma'am, just honest."

"Quite the Gentleman aren't we?" she asked giving me a cheeky smile and a wink. It was my turn to blush now. "There's shampoo and conditioner in the medicine cabinet, and the soap is in shower already." I thanked her and turned to the medicine cabinet to get the shampoo and conditioner and saw her mouth "Wow" in the slightly fogged up mirror. With that she left.

I showered and dressed then went out to the studio floor where she was singing along with a record of the song "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" she was dancing around in a wedding dress that showed off her amazing legs. I just watched her dancing around and having fun. It was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen, and she wasn't even trying, it was amazing. I just sat there mesmerized, when the director finally called cut, and called for a costume change, and that filming would resume in thirty minutes. She left the floor and motioned me to follow her.

"What did you think?" she asked when we were in the hallway to her dressing room.

"Amazing, very catchy song, but you were gorgeous out there."

"All you're flattery is going to go to my head you know," she replied laughing, giving me another of those sexy winks. We reached her dressing room and she went inside and I waited outside. "Aren't you coming she asked?"

With my jaw on the floor I followed her into the dressing room. I shut the door behind me and no sooner had it closed than she was on me. She kissed me, and her soft lips felt amazing, her tongue wiggled its way into my mouth and we were making out like high school kids at prom.

She placed her arms around my neck and drew me in tighter, and I placed my hands on the small of her back pulling her close, my semi-hard cock pushing into her leg. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist, forcing my hands onto her amazing ass. I squeezed and kneaded the soft flesh while her perky breasts were mashed into my chest.

She pulled her head back, "Wow," was all she said, I began nuzzling her neck and moaned my agreement as her crotch ground against my now raging hard-on. She dropped to her feet and slowly sank to her knees unbuttoning my shirt as she went kissing her way down my chest and abs as she went. When she was done she was on her knees eye level with the bulge in my pants. I took off my shirt as she unbuttoned my belt and pants, and with one swift jerk she had my pants around my ankles. I wasn't wearing any boxers so my 8 ½ inch cock sprang up and smacked her in the face, causing her to gasp both at the size and sudden smack in the face.

With a giggle she said "down boy," and gave my cock a few quick strokes. She grasped me at the base and squeezed causing my hips to arch forward, and gave a quick lick at the slit causing me to moan. She then took about three inches into her velvety soft mouth and slowly pulled out swirling her tongue as she did so, sending waves of pleasure straight from my cock to brain. Finally, with a soft pop my cock left the haven of her mouth and she gave a few more strokes and dove in again this time going all the way down to the base for a few seconds with her nose buried in my trimmed pubic hair and my cock buried in her throat. She hummed a bit, but then began to gasp. She now had tears running down her pale cheeks making her look sexier than ever with a cock in her mouth. She pulled off and stroked me a few times while she took one ball in her mouth and sucked, letting it pop out in a similar fashion before attacking the other one.

I couldn't take it any more and bent down and swept her up into my arms and carried her over to the couch on the other side of the room. I laid her down and she arched her hips is I pushed her wedding dress skirt up around her waist. She wasn't wearing any panties and her shaved pussy was glistening with her arousal.

I kissed my up her inner thigh swirling my tongue along the way from her knee to her pussy. The smell of her arousal was intoxicating, and I gave he slit one quick lick, swirling my tongue around her swollen clit and moving on down the other leg. Causing her to moan and try to push her crotch into my face. Slowly I made my way back up her leg and kissed her outer lips lightly causing her to whimper. She grabbed my head, entwining her fingers in my hair and pulled my head into her, forcing contact. I began to flick at her clit with short fast strokes while I guided one finger into her silken hole and my pinky into her ass causing her to yelp in both pain and pleasure. I wiggled it around until I found that elusive inner nub, and scraped my fingernail across her g-spot, causing her to squeal in pleasure as her first orgasm hit her like a freight train, taking her wind and causing her to convulse as waves of pleasure ravaged her body. Her feminine juices flooded out of her as she pulled my face in even tighter. As she came down from the purest and most natural high you can get, her grip loosened on my hair and I pulled free, climbing on top of her stopping at the hollow between her breasts and kissing my way up to her neck.

"Fuck me, please! I want to feel you inside me!" she gasped, still short in breath.

Never one to disappoint, I guided myself to her soft hole and pushed myself all the way in with one forceful thrust kissing her to silence her squeals of pleasure as another less powerful orgasm hit her. With slow deep strokes I plowed into her very tight, and very wet love hole.

"YES! Please, fuck me hard, use me please! Oh God don't... oh fuck! Don't stop!" I gradually increased the pace until I was slamming into her with quick violent thrusts. I pulled the top of her dress down and took one of her small dark puffy nipples into my mouth sucking on it hard then lightly pulling on it with my teeth sending waves of pleasure through her body as she was hit with another orgasm, causing her pussy to flutter around my cock, increasing my pleasure ten fold, when I felt my cock twitch and my balls tighten up. She must have felt it too because she wiggled her way out from under me and pushed me onto the sofa and got on her knees between my legs and took my glistening cock into her heavenly mouth and sucked hard, pulling off she started stoking furiously and aimed it at her face. With a grunt of pure ecstasy I shot my enormous load onto her face. The first spurt catching her on her left cheek and covering her eye which she closed, re-aiming, the second and third spurt shot into her waiting mouth. The rest dribbled onto her tongue as she milked my cock. She took her left hand, and gathered the cum that landed on her face collecting it on her finger and sucking it off sexily before swallowing my load.

"Mmmmm tasty!" with that she licked my cock clean and stood up and walked to the shower with her dress still bunched up around her waste swaying her ass seductively she beckoned me to follow her...

to be continued...