To say that Danielle Colby Cushman blew my mind from day one is an understatement. There I was, watching (I thought) the innocent "American Pickers". Next, there appeared onscreen the most delectable siren I'd ever seen on TV. That would be Danielle Colby Cushman, who runs their office and researches for their "missions".
For those of you who don't know of "Pickers", it's about two guys who journey the country, buying all kinds of interesting junk for their curio shops that they hope to sell at a mark-up. Fun, interesting program for any guy. Now add Danielle.
She's a classic Amazon. Tall, big-boned, with clear blue eyes, long wavy black hair, and truly heroic proportions. Danielle is a big girl lover's big girl: not heavy, but surely voluptuous. She also has some very interesting ink that apparently leads to some interesting places. Danielle is bright, has a playful, kittenish sense of humor, and a friendly, outgoing personality. She's been the center of some very intense fantasies of mine.
Since I travel for my work, I was delighted to land in a town where Danielle would be performing in a burlesque show. This is her first love, and she did it for a living for years before being recruited for "American Pickers".
I was quite excited to take in the show. When the lights came up and the curtains opened, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. The stage was filled with singing, dancing girls in racy costumes. At the center of it all whirled the delectable Danielle. They swayed in time to the bawdy music, sang risque' songs, and flirted outrageously with the entire crowd. Each number was more fun than the last. I'd only gone to ogle Danielle, but the talented troupe had served up an entertaining program, and I applauded wholeheartedly at the end of the show. An encore was roaringly requested and graciously fulfilled by the now-sweating lovelies.
Next, Danielle herself came to center stage under a pencil spot. "We'll be having an informal meet-and-greet backstage. Convince me!" she said in a teasing tone, smiling impishly.
Hands shot up by the dozen in the audience. Danielle picked people in turn, listening to their reasons and making her selections. The process had gone on for several minutes and I sensed the opportunity slipping past. I waved both hands like a referee signaling a touchdown. With the corners of her mouth turned up, Danielle pointed to me. "What's your name, and why would YOU like to attend the meet and greet?" she queried, tilting her head in exaggerated listening pose.
"I'm Dean, and... and I'm your biggest fan!" I stammered out. "SHIT," I thought, "totally unoriginal!"
Danielle didn't miss it. "Hmmmm.... yeah, I've heard THAT before!" she said with mock gravity over the laughter and booing of the crowd. I managed to catch her eye, and shot her such a look of appeal that it must have made up her mind. "You know, I DO like your balls for running out THAT old fossil. You're in. He's the last one, folks."
Her people quickly fanned out through the audience, doling out ID's to us chosen few. We were led backstage, and seated casually on various packing cases and directors' chairs.
Danielle fielded the many questions with humor and wit, and kept us laughing for the whole session. But then, too soon, she stated, "It's time to wrap up, folks. Anyone got anything you want autographed?" Like magic, photos appeared and she good-naturedly signed each with a witticism. One brave soul piped up, "Can you sign my dick??" The room went silent. Danielle fixed him with a steady gaze that could have meant anything. Finally, he looked away, no longer feeling so brash. She replied coolly, "Of COURSE I can't sign your dick. Foolish. I'm married!"
I was the last to approach her. As she signed, I asked, "Can I buy you a drink? Really, I'm such a huge fan of yours!" She looked directly at me, speculating. "No," she replied, "I don't think we know each other that well." Crestfallen, I didn't know what to say. Then she continued. "If you can behave yourself, I'll take you back to my hotel. I can show you some things that may interest.... my biggest fan." She tipped her head prettily and looked at me with that playful glance.
"Of course I'll be a gentleman," I answered. She appeared to consider a moment more, then said briskly, "It's good. Let's go." We left the theater, surrounded by bodyguards. She surprised me by getting into a very ordinary-looking black pickup rather than a limo. She was followed by only one bodyguard. "Do you think this is safe?" I asked. "I can take care of myself PRET-ty well," she responded, "and besides, he's armed to the teeth."