*This story is the second of the Arkham series. Each part functions as a stand-alone with its own plot-line and they do not need to be read together (although please feel free to do so). This part takes place during Batman: Arkham City, using the same characters and plot-line as the series, up until the start of the story obviously. I tried to keep the characters' physical aspects and personalities as close to their video game versions as possible. Please note that this is purely a work of fantasy/parody. All characters and settings are property of DC Comics.*
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Harley quickly made her way out of the old, dilapidated police department building, the sounds of the fight still echoing behind her. "Mista J's gonna be so happy when he sees what I've got for him," Harley said aloud in her thick Brooklyn accent, the two vials of blue liquid tucked safely away in her bra. "Stupid Bats. He and Ice-Man won't even notice it's gone," she continued to herself, referring to the cure. "Now me and Mista J can live happily ever after without havin to worry about this disease or the B-Man anymore." She began skipping in delight as she strode down the partially sunken highway running through Amusement Mile.
Harley heard the sound of an explosion coming from back near the police department, causing her pace to slow. She recognized it as the news helicopter, and knew that the plan was working to perfection. The only thing she couldn't understand was why there weren't any snipers on the rooftops like there were supposed to be.
"Huh, that's weird," she thought to herself. "They must just be waitin to see if Bats leaves the building." She continued walking down the street without thinking about the snipers again. She eventually reached the end of the highway, which concluded at a raised bridge. While many abandoned cars lined the highway, she was only interested in one in particular, an old ice cream van. She approached it, but didn't see anybody nearby, causing her to pause. Harley checked all around the truck, before knocking on the back door.
"What the fuck are ya doin, bozos? You're were supposed to meet me outside the truck, not in. What are ya, fuckin afraid of the cold?" Harley chided. Hearing no response, she tried pulling the handle. Finding it locked, she knocked again. "Come on, open up, ya useless fuckwads." After still getting no response, she went over to the side of the truck and opened up the window normally reserved for distributing ice cream.
Even with the heels on her boots and her 5'7" frame, Harley had difficulty looking all the way in. Up on her tip-toes, she managed to look fully inside the truck. She was shocked to find the whole inside covered in blood, with the bodies of the 4 thugs she was supposed to rendezvous with lining the bottom of the truck. "Uh-oh. This is really fuckin bad," Harley exclaimed. "This couldn'ta been Bats. Who the fuck would challenge us out here?" she wondered to herself.
A deep voice quietly spoke behind her, "What's the matter? Expecting someone?" Harley immediately spun around, surveying the situation. The man was dressed in the traditional garb of a thug inmate, with what appeared to be old Penguin symbols on his sweatshirt, only drawn over. The most important thing, however, was the dark face mask that the thug wore.
"What the fuck is Black Mask doin takin us on? I thought Strange woulda killed him anyway after that stunt he pulled," Harvey said to the thug, referencing Black Mask's escape and subsequent recapture that involved blowing a hole in the outer wall of Arkham City. "Instead of tryin to fuck with us, he should be focusin on takin down the Bat or Str..." Before Harley could finish her last sentence, she felt something sharp inserted into her neck.
She immediately felt drowsy and nauseous. "Wha...what the fu...fuck was..." Harley's speech slurred and she collapsed down onto the pavement, unconscious. "Alright, you move her. I'm gonna call the boss and let him know we got the bitch. This oughta be fun."
βββNINE YEARS EARLIERβββ
"Hey. It's me." The soft voice penetrated the silence that had previously enclosed the small corridor that surrounded the maximum security cells. Harleen Quinzel, now a brand-new psychiatrist, walked up to the bars and looked in at the patient. "I think I figured out a way for you to escape. That way you and I can live together and be free from this horrible place," she whispered. The man sitting on the other side of the bars from her slowly nodded.
Harleen had first met the Joker a few months earlier, on last year's Christmas Eve, when she was still an intern. After he had been brought in following the hotel incident, she was the highest-ranking doctor on site at Blackgate, as not too many people were jumping at the opportunity to work Christmas Eve at a prison.
She immediately felt an attraction to him when they first talked, and Joker revealed to her his backstory, or at least the version he wanted her to hear. From then on, Harleen tried to see Joker as much as possible, talking with him whenever she could. Her eagerness and increasing affection for the Joker began attracting the attention of other doctors, but Harleen didn't care, knowing it was only a matter of time until she and her love got away.