Guilty Pleasure

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warning: Angst, Incest, Slash

Rating: FRAO

Italics and/or * indicates thoughts

*

"Please Luke, don't do this," I whispered, as I sat watching him outside the club two weeks later. Ever since that day when we had finally taken the next step in our relationship, things had been going well. Several times during the last two weeks, we had managed to slip away to the old cabin. Luke still hadn't managed to stay hard long enough to cum, but he got closer each time we were together. I was hoping that he no longer felt any urge to be here, but then something happened tonight and Luke ran. I just wish I knew what to do, how to show him that letting these men hurt him wasn't the answer. If only I could turn back time....

I had just finished bedding down the animals for the night when Luke slipped up behind me. Using skills he'd learned from Uncle Jesse and the Marines, he had moved up behind me without a sound. The first that I knew he was there, was when I felt his arms wrapping around my waist. Leaning his head on my shoulder, Luke whispered my name. Turning my head slightly, I brushed his lips in a gentle kiss, before turning in his arms and returning the embrace. "What brought this on?"

"Saw you standing here, just couldn't resist," Luke whispered his response. Pulling my head down for another kiss, we were both soon lost in the moment. So lost that we didn't hear the back door opening, didn't know Uncle Jesse was there...

"What in tarnation is going on here?" Jesse yelled, shocked and angered to find his two nephews in a passionate embrace.

"Uncle Jesse!" I yelped, jerking away from Luke, though I kept one arm around his waist.

"I knew about Luke, but since when do you like men Bo?"

"It's not like that Uncle Jesse. I've never really been attracted to any other man, Luke's different though. I love him Uncle Jesse, and he loves me. I'm sorry you had to find out like this, neither one of us wanted to upset ya, please believe that. Now that you do know though, I hope you'll be able to accept our love for what it is."

"Accept? You want me to accept you two as...no, I ain't gonna do it. I can't accept this, it's wrong, and you Luke. How could you take advantage of Bo like this?"

"Uncle Jesse, Luke ain't taking advantage of me. I'm a grown man and I know what I want. I love Luke with everything I am. I'm sorry you can't accept that, but don't you dare accuse him of doing anything wrong," I growled out, my voice tight with anger. By this time, I was standing directly in front of my uncle. Knowing Uncle Jesse like I do, the slap didn't really take me by surprise. As the words had been leaving my mouth, I knew I was on thin ice, Uncle Jesse had never tolerated any of us talking back.

"Don't you..."

The roar of a powerful engine interrupted him, taking us both by surprise. Running out of the barn, I was just in time to see Luke racing off in the General. I knew I'd never catch him in the pick-up, but if I was right I wouldn't need to worry about that. I ran into the house and grabbed my uncle's keys from the hook by the back door. When I came back outside, Uncle Jesse stood next to the pick-up, barring the door with his body. "Uncle Jesse, please move out of my way."

"I ain't gonna let you go after him, especially when he just proved me right."

"What are you talking about now?" I snapped at him, frustrated by the delay and terrified at the thought of where Luke might be going.

"Bo don't you see? If he really cared about you, he'd have stayed here instead of taking off. Oh I know he loves you as a cousin, but this...this other thing, for him it's just about getting what he wants. He's taking advantage of the love you feel for him, using the fact that you've always admired him to get what he wants. He's just got you confused Bo and I aim to put a stop to it."

"You're going to put a stop to it? Uncle Jesse weren't you listening to me, I'm a grown man and I know what I want. I can't believe what a hypocrite you are, ya say you're okay with Luke being gay, but now here you are objecting to me wanting to be with Luke."

"It ain't like that and you know it boy! If you was wanting to be with some other man, I'd be okay with it, but Luke's your cousin..."

"Bull! When that conman was here pretending to be our cousin, you sure didn't have any trouble with Daisy getting cozy with him." I reminded him, hoping I could get through to him before I had to move him out of my way. I was as angry with him as I could ever remember being, but he was still my uncle and I loved him, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

Uncle Jesse staggered back against the truck as though my words had been a fist. "I...I'm sorry, guess I was being a hypocrite. But that still don't change the fact that he ran, left you to face me on your own. Bo if he really loves you wouldn't he be here by your side?"

"That's not why he left, he loves me, that's the reason he left. Uncle Jesse, Luke doesn't think he deserves my love. He spent so much time feeling guilty for being gay and for being in love with me, that he..." I broke off as I realized what I'd nearly told him. "I know you don't understand, and I can't tell ya without Luke's permission. Just know this, he did some things in Atlanta because of that guilt, things that make him feel like he doesn't deserve to be loved. Please Uncle Jesse, let me go after him before he does something he'll regret," I begged, barely holding back my tears.

I don't know if it was my words, or the tears shimmering in my eyes that convinced him. I sighed with relief, when he moved to the side, letting me climb into the truck. Grabbing my arm as I began to get into the cab, he looked at me his own eyes shining suspiciously. "You bring him home Bo, and tell him I'm sorry."

"I will Uncle Jesse," I told him. Jumping into the cab of the truck, I took off after Luke, hoping I wasn't too late.

I was surprised when I pulled up across from the club and saw him sitting in the parking lot. I didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, I was just glad he was still outside the club. Getting out of the pick-up, I walked over to the General and climbed into the passenger seat, "This ain't the answer Luke."

I jumped in surprise when Bo spoke from the seat beside me, "Dang it Bo, don't do that! What are you doing here anyway?"

"Trying to stop you from making a mistake," he answered honestly.

"It ain't a mistake Bo, the mistake was being with you. Uncle Jesse was right, I've been taking advantage of you..."

"Now you wait just one dang minute Luke Duke! I may not ever have been with a man before you, but that don't mean I don't know my own mind. You just listen to me, I...love...you, and I'm right where I want to be."

I saw him leaning towards me, his intent clear in his eyes and I turned my head, avoiding his kiss. "Don't Bo, you said it yourself, I'm the only man you ever considered being with. If I wasn't your cousin, you wouldn't ever have thought about being with me, I should've seen it for myself. I'm just glad we haven't done anything more than what we have. I thought about it all the way here," I hesitated, knowing he wasn't going to like what I had to say. "I'm leaving Hazzard Bo, maybe after I'm gone Uncle Jesse'll get over being mad at you and you can get back to being normal."

"Normal? Damn it Luke there ain't nothing wrong with us loving each other and Uncle Jesse knows it too. Don't look at me like that, he even told me to say he was sorry for what he said. We ain't talked it all out, but he knows he's being a hypocrite. Come home Luke, please don't go in there," he begged, the pain in his voice nearly a physical thing.

"How can you want me? I say I love you and at the first sign of trouble, I run off and come to this place. I don't deserve you Bo, please let me go before I hurt you," I plead with him, trying not to let him see my heart breaking at the thought of leaving him.

"I can want you because I love you. I done told you before Luke, the only way you can hurt me is if you leave me."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough, but I don't want to go in there either," I told him. Reaching out to caress his cheek, I wrapped my hand behind his neck and drew him towards me for a kiss. "I thought coming here was the answer, but it's not. Before you got here, I was sitting here, looking at the door and remembering what you said about me being a good person. I didn't know where I was gonna go, but I had already decided that if I went in there it'd be a betrayal of your love. Are you sure Uncle Jesse'll be okay with me coming home?" I asked him, still not sure going home was a good idea.

"I'm sure Luke. Uncle Jesse knows he was wrong to say the things he did. He knows you'd never hurt me or take advantage of me. You ready to go home now?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," I replied, kissing him once more. Drawing back, he grinned at me before pulling himself out of the car. Watching him jog across the street, I waited for him to climb into the pick-up, before starting the General and heading home.

Pulling into the yard, I parked the truck beside the General and got out. Stepping over to Luke, I pulled him into my arms. "I love you," I reminded him, before drawing back and leading the way inside. As soon as we stepped into the kitchen, Uncle Jesse called us into the living room. Walking into the living room, I was surprised to see Daisy sitting there too. I hadn't even noticed her jeep parked in the drive, "Uncle Jesse, um, does Daisy know?"

"Yeah Bo, I do, y'all ain't got to worry about me. I admit I'm not real sure how I feel, but I've always wanted y'all to be happy. If being with each other is what makes ya happy, then I'll accept it and I'll get past whatever discomfort it causes me." Daisy told us. Standing up and coming over to give us each a hug, before going back to her seat.

I looked at Luke, relieved to see that he didn't look like he was ready to run again. Stepping over to the couch, I pulled my cousin with me and sat down. When Luke sat beside me, I made a point of putting my arm around him and pulling him close. "I'm glad to hear you say that Daisy, I'd hate to break up the family," the gasps that statement caused wasn't a surprise.

"Now Bo there ain't no reason to be talking like that," Uncle Jesse told me. "Luke, I'm sorry for what I said. I had no call to accuse you of taking advantage of Bo. I know you better than that, and Bo is right, he's a grown man, capable of making his own decisions. I ain't gonna say that I'm real comfortable with it, but I don't have the right to tell either of you who to love. I've always told you kids, Dukes don't fight Dukes, I'm sorry I forgot that for a little bit. I hope you both can forgive me, but I'll understand if you can't."

"Of course I forgive ya Uncle Jesse, can't really blame ya for being upset, it must've been a shock to ya." I told him. "I know ya ain't either one real comfortable with the idea of me and Bo being together, not that I don't understand. But this is your home too and you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable, which is why I'm going to move out."

"Luke! What are ya talking about? I...I thought you weren't giving up on us," Bo stuttered out.

I knew it would hurt him, I could only hope he would understand after I explained. "Bo, I'm not giving up on us. But I realized tonight, I need some time alone, and so do you. Now listen to me please, ever since you found me at that club in Atlanta, you've been by my side nearly every minute. I'm not angry about that Bo, I love you for wanting to protect me, even from myself. The thing is Bo, I'm on the verge of letting you become an addiction, and that ain't healthy. Look you only realized how you felt that night, the thing is, with all that you saw that night, how do you know it's real."

"Not you too, Luke I told you I know what love feels like and I lo..."

"I know Bo, I'm not saying you don't love me. Damn, I'm not explaining this very well. Okay, what I'm trying to get at is this; How do you know that the love you feel isn't just a reaction to what you saw. Bo, I know you want me safe, that's why you've been hovering. But if I never get time alone, how will I know if I've really beat the addiction, or just replaced it with another one. And if you never get time alone, how can you be sure that what you feel isn't just coming from your need to keep me safe. I ain't talking about us not being together, I'll still be here every day to help with the chores and we'll see each other all the time. I just need a chance to learn to get past my problem without using you as a crutch. Please Bo, don't argue with me on this," I plead, caressing his face, hoping he would understand.

"I love you Luke, I don't think I need time to know that for sure. But if you feel like this is what you need, I'll support you. Just remember I'm always here if you need me," he whispered. Leaning forward, he gave me a soft kiss, ignoring Daisy and Unlce Jesse's presence in the room. Pulling back, I lightly brushed the tears from his cheek, before turning to our uncle.

"Uncle Jesse, if it's okay with you, I was thinking I could move up to still site four. It wouldn't be any problem to make it livable, I can put a cb inside so I can be reached in an emergency. Would that be okay?"

"Of course it's okay Luke, but I do have a question. What is this addiction y'all are talking about? Did Bo lie when he said you wasn't doing anything illegal?" Uncle Jesse asked me, obviously not happy.

"Bo didn't lie to you Uncle Jesse, I do have a problem but it ain't anything illegal. I won't go into details, trust me ya don't want to know, but I was doing something in Atlanta to deal with the guilt I felt. Guilt about being gay and about loving Bo, um, it involved, dang this is hard to explain. It involved me being hurt, kind of to atone for not being normal and well after a while it became kind of an addiction." I tried to explain, without going into any details. I just hoped that the explanation would be enough for now, I really didn't want to tell Uncle Jesse or Daisy just what it had involved. It was bad enough that Bo knew, the thought of anybody else knowing how weak I'd been was more than I could stand.

"Alright Luke, I won't ask anything else right now. If you ever need to talk, I'll be here. So when do you figure on moving to the cabin?"

"Well, I guess it'll take a couple of days to get everything ready. I suppose I'll move up there this weekend, okay?"

"That'll be fine Luke. Well we got chores in the morning, so we'd better all get to bed. Goodnight," Uncle Jesse said, standing up and heading to his bedroom.

A moment later, Daisy followed him, stopping to give me and Bo each a quick hug and a kiss goodnight. Turning to Bo, I stood up and pulled him to his feet. "Come on darlin, it's been a long night," I said, before heading for our bedroom.

Reaching our bedroom, I wasted no time in getting undressed and climbing into bed. Several minutes passed before Bo walked into the room. Silently he undressed and climbed into the bed beside me. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him against me, "I love you Bo," I whispered softly in his ear.

"I love you too Luke," he replied, closing his eyes and snuggling into my embrace.

Lying there, holding him in my arms, I let the sound of his steady breathing and the solid feel of him relax me. As I drifted to sleep, I prayed that my decision was the right one.

TBC

Feed the muse, please review.