Gilligan's Island, the Rescue
Gilligan hopped out of his hammock and ran out into the noonday sun looking for the Skipper. He ran into Mr. and Mrs. Howell's tent where he interrupted their noonday activities.
"Mr. Howell, Mr. Howell," he said, "have you seen the Skipper?"
Thurston Howell the third was dressed in a yellow wool sweater over a green button-down shirt, he was wearing a straw hat, and brown leather loafers, but no pants.
"Gilligan my boy," he said, "we have talked about knocking, just because there isn't a door--"
"Be a dear and come back in ten minutes," Lovey said, "Thurston almost has me there."
She was wearing a white dress that was flipped up over her back exposing her naked rear end, and a pair of very nice white patent leather pumps. Her hands and ankles were tied spread wide apart to the base of a vertical bamboo frame, and she was bent at the waist over a horizontal bar also tied to the frame. Thurston appeared to be enthusiastically buggering her.
"Uh, okay," Gilligan said, as he backed out the open doorway.
He looked in the Professor's hut but found neither the Skipper nor the Professor. Although he did pause for a moment to take another cup of the delicious Liqueur that the Professor made from fermenting coconut water. Then he went to the girl's hut.
"Skipper, Skipper," Gilligan cried as he burst in on them, "I just had this horrible premonition or dream... or a dream about a premonition...Or a ... Hey, what are you guys doing?"
"We are playing Parcheesi," said the Skipper. "What does it look like we are doing?"
It did not look like they were playing Parcheesi, all four were naked and the Skipper had his penis down Mary Ann's throat while the Professor seemed to have his penis buried in her vagina. The Skipper and the Professor were moving in in unison and moving out in unison as Ginger was kneeling and sucking on the Professor's scrotum.
"Hey," said Gilligan, "you guys said I could play too!"
"I tried to wake you Little Buddy," said Skipper, "just how much of Professor's Liqueur did you drink at brunch?"
"Well, I--" Gilligan said.
"I told you that it was stronger than the last batch," interjected the Professor, "the yeast really seems to like my improved process for refining Erythritol. This is the strongest batch yet, even though I cut the sugar by five percent."
"Yeah, yeah," said Gilligan, "we have a problem, I just had a dream about the island melting."
"Come, come now Gilligan," said the Professor, "I wouldn't worry. Although the island is made of igneous rock, which is of course cooled and solidified molten Lava. It would take sustained temperatures in the neighborhood of 2,000 degrees or so to melt the island, at which point we really wouldn't even notice it was happening."
"So it couldn't happen," said Gilligan, his eyes searching for an affirmative answer.
"No of course not," said the Professor as he continued to spit-roast Mary Ann.
"Well that's a relief," said Gilligan.
"Well, not unless the dormant volcano was to explode."
Gilligan screamed, "Ahhhyyyy," as he backed away and ran from the girl's hut.
***
"Count Von Siegfried," said the black-uniformed aide, "Fearless Leader will see you now."
"Danke," said Siegfried, "Shtarker, now, jetzt."
Shtarker rose from his seat and followed Siegfried and the aide into the palatial office.
"Vee haff a problem with zee first test of zee anti-Moose and Squirrel Thermonuclear Ballistic Tactical Neutralizer," said Fearless Leader.
"Ja," said Siegfried clicking his heels, "und how kann KAOS be of assistance to Pottsylvania?"
"Vee lost missile," said Boris Badenov.
"Vee didn't lose missile," Natasha Fatale said to Boris shoving him, "missile blew up."
"Not all of missile."
"ENOUGH!" Shouted Fearless Leader, "am I Fearless Leader, or are you two idiots Fearless Leader?"
"You are Fearless Leader, Fearless Leader," Natasha said.
"Yes, you are Fearless Leader," said Boris.
"Very well," said Fearless Leader.
"But he is not Mister Big," Natasha said softly under her breath prompting a smile from Boris and Sigfried.
"Wasn't Mister Big killed by the KAOS death ray?" Asked Shtarker, softly.
"No," said Natasha in a whisper, "was Potsilvanian manufactured death ray."
Shtarker looked puzzled.
"She mean it not work," Boris added helpfully.
"Zee scientists," Fearless Leader said, "controlling our MASTBTN--"
Everybody except for Fearless Leader snickered at the recitation of the missiles' name.
"ENOUGH!" said Fearless Leader loudly, "Zee scientists activated a self-destruct mechanism when dee missile became erratic, it vass supposed to destroy whole missile, but vee are receiving signal from zee guidance system. Vee need you to recover zee sphere."
"Sphere?" said Siegfried.
"The missile's guidance system is in an indestructible metal sphere a bit larger than a softball," said Natasha.
"Vas my idea," Boris said.