"You are loco!" he practically shrieked at her proposal.
"Why, because I'm honest? Because I'm willing to admit I'm a sexual creature too?"
"No," he hissed. "Because you just told me that you want to watch me fuck my COUSIN and two of my best friends, who happen to be brothers! This sadistic sexual fantasy of yours involves a hell of a lot of incest. A little too much for my tastes."
"I'm sorry MY fantasy wasn't to YOUR liking, Matthew. Jesus Christmas, you know a fantasy is supposed to be...."
"I know what a fantasy is! I'm just disgusted by yours!"
"Are you really?" she sneered. "Or are you just afraid to admit that it turns you on, too?"
Matt paused at this, considering before he growled back. "No, nothing about fucking Tony turns me on. NOTHING!"
"What about the twins?"
He considered this for several minutes, tugging on his lip ring as he pondered. "I'll be honest, Madison, the thought of sharing you with Joel doesn't...bother me. But Joel AND Benji? And fucking Tony? Tony, of all fucking people. No. It's too much for me. I can't handle it."
"That's fine, Matt," she sighed. "It was just....an idea."
"Let's leave it at that then, Madi," he pleaded. "Let's just let it be."
"Fine," she spat and stomped from their kitchen.
One Month Later
"So, baby, what do you want for your birthday this year?" he asked, a Cheshire Cat grin across his face.
"Apparently you have something in mind," she laughed. "What is it?"
"Oh," he grinned, circling his body around behind hers and leaning forward to blow softly into her ear. "Just a little idea I've been thinking on for the past few months."
"And what's that?" she gasped breathily.
"Let's just say," he breathed huskily onto her neck, causing her skin to crawl with the promise of pleasures to come. "It involves you, me, and Samantha and Katey."
"Huh?" she frowned and spun to face him, their noses almost colliding. "That's sexy to you?"
"Yeah," he grimaced at her aggitation. "Why, what's wrong with that?"
"It's MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, MATTHEW!" she began screaming at him, raising her fists into the air for emphasis. "There's nothing exciting about you watching me parade around our bedroom with two of my best friends!"
"Sorrrrrrrry," Matt hissed with resentment.
"How could you think that I would want that, Matthew? Do you think I'm a LESBIAN?" she screamed the last word loudly.
Matt shook his head to clear his thoughts. How had his suggestion hit her in such an utterly wrong manner? "Na...no! Why would I think my girlfriend is a lesbian?"
"Because for my FUCKING BIRTHDAY- MY BIRTHDAY, MATTHEW- you want me to live out YOUR fantasy!" she was screaming at him again.
He stared at her with a complete loss for words.
She was pacing their den now, hands gesturing wildly, and her hair flying behind her as she moved about freakishly. "Do you remember what we did your YOUR birthday last year, Matthew Eric? Do you, Mr. Lovato?"
Matthew stared at his Vans and then at the carpet beneath them. "No."
"NO? NO? YOU DON'T....AGH!" she shrieked and stormed out of the room.
He stood staring around the room for a few minutes, before trailing into the kitchen where he found her resting against the refridgerator massaging her scalp.
"I love you, baby," he muttered so softly it was barely audible.
"Matthew," she heaved, pushing away from their fridge and walking to the sink. "I love you too, but this is just...."
"What?" he asked, raising his brown eyes to meet her own, saddened irises.
"Look, baby, we need to talk," she sighed and placed her tiny frame roughly into one of their kitchen chairs. "Not just about this. I want you to know that this...It's not just this, Matt. I love you, I do, but there's been some problems for a while."
"Oh," he frowned and sat in a chair next to her, taking her dainty hand into his own, much larger grasp. "Okay?"
"Matt, I've been feeling a lot lately like I am putting my everything into this relationship. It's frustrating, yet, it can be rewarding. I love you. You are the ONLY- and I stress that, ONLY- man that I can see myself being with. But lately, it's like I'm giving you everything I have plus some, and you....give me nothing. You're here, Matt, but you're not here. Do you get me?"
Matt sighed. "Yeah."
"I want you to be here with me, mentally. But you're off somewhere and I can't seem to bring you back! I ask you to do things for me, dumb things around the house, and you forget or come up with excuses. I ask you to come home in time to go to bed with me, and you're gone till sunrise with Tony. Lord only knows what trouble you two are getting into at 3am when the rest of the world is trying to rest up for the next day."
She took a deep breath and exhaled.
"And it's not just household things anymore, Matthew. Lately, I share something with you- a fantasy, a thought, an idea, even a song I've written- and you seem so disengaged. So bored with it. With me. Do I bore you, Matt?"
Matt shook his head emphatically. "No, baby, you don't bore me. Why would you think that?"
"Because," she frowned. "Whatever I'm doing, it does not hold a candle to whatever it is Tony does for you! The two of you are..."
He raised up in his seat and dropped her hand. "Is this going to be a big speech about Tony? Cause I see it headed there and I'm going to forewarn you to drop it before...."
"Before what, Matt?" she growled.
He slunk back into his seat and shut his mouth.
"Matt, I adore Tony. This isn't about Tony. This is about you and me and our problems! One month ago, I shared something with you and asked you how you felt about the idea, and you FLIPPED OUT on me! You made me feel like a whore, a pervert. Someone who was a freak beyond all freakishness."
She placed her elbow onto their kitchen table and began to massage her temples once again.
"You made me feel like I was dirty for wanting to spice up our bedroom antics, and now tonight, you come to me and you want to live out a fantasy- YOUR fantasy- for my birthday present. That's fuckin fine, Matt, great. I'm going to get laid on my birthday. At least I know I have THAT to look forward to," she hissed. "But what I want to know is . . ."
She paused, looking at her boyfriend who sat twiddling his thumbs in his khaki-covered lap.
"Do you still love me, Matt, or are we lying to each other?"
Matt wanted to clutch his chest and fall to the ground. Why was she being so overly dramatic today? All he'd suggested to her was a simple foursome. It wasn't like they hadn't partook in wild sexual antics before- because they had, on many an occasion. Why was this suddenly such a big deal? He wanted to heave something at her, scream, stomp around screaming for God to take mercy on him and strike her mute. But he couldn't and he wouldn't.
"Yes," he sighed.
"Yes which, Matthew?"
"Yes, I love you, Madison," he frowned. "I've never stopped loving you and I don't think any of this really has to do with...."
"WHAT?"
"...love," he finished gingerly.
"Matt...."
"No, Madi, look, will you listen to me for once?" he half asked, half begged.
She sat silently staring at him for the first time in the past twenty minutes.
"I love you and you know that I love you, so that's not even a question here. Yes, I have been off on some other planet lately, but fuck Madison, I'm so rarely home! I'm still readjusting to being here and not in some strange city with no clean underwear! It doesn't seem like something that takes adjusting to for you, but for me, it is. I am no longer used to living a 'normal life'. When you say 'take out the trash', I file that away and for whatever reason, 'write new material for the next CD' gets filed ahead of it and I forget! Jesus, Madison, I'm only human!"
He paused to collect his thoughts.
