Just like I do every night, I sit at my computer with my Baconator, large fries, and Coke, looking for losers who don't love my food, and putting them in their place. Like usual, I'm wearing my dress with vertical white and light blue stripes, my flaming red hair tied into pigtails and my feet up on the chair, which makes my dress bunch up around my waist. If you were here, you could see my strong, smooth, perfect legs in their entirety. Yeah, go ahead and fap to that mental image, nerds and fatties. I don't care.
"McDonald's is way better than you," someone tweets at me. Seriously, are they even trying?
"You have my sympathies for being born without tastebuds," I fire back.
"You claim that McDonald's is worse because they freeze their beef," says someone else, "But I've seen those freezers in the back at your place."
"Those are refrigerators. Not the same thing."
"So you admit you're lying about @McDonalds freezing their beef?"
"Hey, don't bring McDonald's into this. It's not their fault you don't know what refrigeration is."
Then he unleashes a string of profanities like a 12-year-old who's just discovered swearing. Why do they always make it so easy? Ooh, here's another one, though it's not directed at me. "What should I get at Burger King?"
"Directions to the nearest Wendy's," I type, cackling. This is just too much fun. A small knock sounds on the door. "Is that you, Bucky?"
I receive an exasperated sigh in response. "Yes, Wendy, it's me."
"Come in if you want. I won't bite, even though I know for a fact you love it."
In walks my girlfriend, Starbuck. She's wearing a nice ensemble-a green and white striped off-the-shoulder shirt, her tiara, and a pair of extremely short black bedazzled shorts-and she's carrying two plastic cups with a weird pastel rainbow filling. Her waist-long wavy hair is dyed green, as usual. "Wendy, are you trolling people again?"
I smirk and raise an eyebrow. "You even need to ask?"
Another sigh. "Here, I brought you a little something I made today. But, knowing you, all it's going to do is fuel this childish pastime of yours."
I accept the drink. "Thanks...though it's a bit odd to show your love by giving me something that was pumped out of an anus. Even if that anus is attached to a unicorn."
She folds her arms and turns out her lower lip. "Fine. See if I ever make anything for you again."
I can't help but grin. "Oh, Bucky, you're so cute when you pout."
"Wendyyyyy, stop calling me that!"
"And now you're pouting even harder. You're irresistible."
She scrunches her face several times, and the pout goes away, though it's clear she's pouting on the inside. "Why is it so hard for me to stay mad at you?"
"Because you love me." I grab her wrist and pull her close, kissing her. She melts into it, stroking my face, then pulls back.
"You taste like a burger."
"I was just eating one now."
"Smartass."
I goose her. "Hot ass." She giggles and I turn my attention back to the computer screen. "Oh, get a load of this. It's Ronnie. He thinks he can get one over on me."
The clown has tweeted at me. ".@officialWendy I'm surprised your attitude hasn't driven all your customers away."
".@RonMcD I'm surprised your restaurants that look like they're stuck in the 90's haven't driven yours away, but here you are." I hit send, then gloat out loud. "Get here in the next 20 minutes, Ronnie, and you'll get a large Frosty half off. You'll need it for that burn."
"Why do you keep telling me about your tweets like they're hunting trophies?"
"Because they are. I'm hilarious, and you love it. Oh, he's back again. '@officialWendy Aren't you a little young to be on social media?' Hah, stupid clown. '@RonMcD I'm 20, so that makes me two years younger than the meat in your Quarter Pounder.'"
"That's the last one tonight, Wendy," Bucky says.
"Or what?"
"Take a wild guess," she says.
I weigh my options, then close my browser. Those booty shorts, I tell you. They're gonna be the death of me. "Fine." I lift my dress off, now clad in nothing but a pair of red and white striped panties. Bucky smiles, but says nothing else. Her eyes say it all.
I can control you, too.
I drink down about half of her weird unicorn drink as I watch her strip, her hair moving the entire time. She finally gets down to nothing and puts her arms around me, kissing me again. I kiss back, putting my hands on her rear underneath her hair. She bends at the waist, teasing my nipple with her tongue, then kissing my cleavage. Not quite satisfied, I take my half-used ketchup packet from dinner and empty it over my nipple. "Oh, you dirty little minx," she purrs as she starts cleaning me.
"That's more like it." I put my hand on her head, giving her a small push down. Her head instinctively moves between my legs as she pushes my panties to the side. While she works, I finish the drink. "This thing's actually pretty good, Bucky. Is it selling well?" She nods as well as a woman with a mouth full of pussy can nod. That familiar tingle starts, spreading outward and up my spine. I reward her by stroking her ears. Her tongue makes its way deep within me and her upper lip locks her nub against it. She flicks her tongue up and down in me, humming one of the jingles she no doubt shelled out four hundred dollars to a starving hipster for. It works surprisingly well, and before long, I reward her with a free fountain drink, so to speak. Her hands grab my ass firmly, keeping me from falling over. Don't let her appearance fool you, this girl's got serious muscle where it counts.
Bucky stands up and kisses me. "Mmm... that was better than dipping your fries in my frappucino."
I lick my essence off her, kissing all over her face. "That better be a really bad innuendo, because everyone knows there's nothing better than dipping the fries in a Frosty."
"What was it you said that got me into bed with you the first time? 'Don't knock it 'til you try it'?"
"I'll show you knocking," I push her onto the bed, hoping she won't notice that my wit has dulled for the moment. She laughs, and I pounce on her, taking her left breast into my mouth and sliding my ring and middle fingers into her. Her laughter slows, then melts into moans.
"Ohh...ohmygod, yes, Wendy, that's the spot.." I add my index finger to the mix and use my free hand to take care of her other breast. Drumming my fingers against her special spot, I push her nipple in and out with my tongue. Her hips buck and she moans louder. "Give it to me, give it to mmmm...eeeeeeeeeee!" I rub her outer lips softly as she rides out her afterglow.
When she finally calms, I put my fingers in her mouth for her to clean. "Just how many of those unicorn frappucinos did you have today?"
"F-four...no, three. I didn't drink the one I brought home for myself." Deciding I owe her for my earlier behavior, I slide out of bed and pop it into the mini-fridge for her. "Wendyyyy..." she reaches out to me.
I get back into bed, pulling the covers over us. "You're just too cute sometimes."
She wraps her arms around me, nuzzling my neck. "I know. And I'll always use that as a weapon against you."
