Friends: Deleted Scenes - The Sex Party
"There's nothing on TV," Joey said as he tossed the remote control onto the table. "I'm so bored." The six friends sat in Rachel and Monica's apartment that evening.
"Yeah, I know," Ross complained, "Even the Discovery Channel sucks tonight."
Rachel was snuggling with him on the couch. She smiled at her geeky boyfriend as she rubbed his chest.
"Ohh, not just tonight, sweetie," she teased. This got smirks from the others. "But Joey has a point," she added, "I don't get many evenings off from the coffee shop, and I'm wasting this one watching TV? Come on. We need to all do something."
"Oh! Oh! I know!" Phoebe exclaimed, "We should all have sex." Various objections echoed from around the room. "Well, why not? Why not? You four did it after that New Year's party... and, and Ross and I weren't even invited."
Monica, sitting on the arm of the chair beside Chandler, explained, "Phoebe, that was different. We were all a little drunk at the time..."
Joey looked down at his knees. Their little "after-party" had been his idea, and he wasn't at all drunk. He just saw his chance to have sex with Monica and Rachel.
She went on, "and besides, you and Ross left the party before it ended, so it's not like we didn't invite you. You lost out because you just didn't stay." Monica was pleased with herself in making that point.
"Yeah, I don't think I could get into the whole 'group sex' thing," Ross offered.
"Oh, you two are such prudes," Phoebe said. "Meet the Gellers... New York's Two Biggest Tight-asses."
The others laughed as Monica and Ross voiced their objections.
"What? I am NOT a tight-ass," Monica said. Everyone just stared at her. "Well, not about sex," she clarified.
"And, and I can be pretty wild in bed, too," Ross asserted, "Go ahead, tell 'em, Rach."
"Well, yeah, with me, you are, but with someone else... I'm not so sure."
"No, I could be... I... just... don't think I want to be." His words trailed off.
Chandler jumped in, choosing his words carefully. "Just for the sake of argument... if we did do this... what all would be... involved."
Phoebe answered. "Well... masturbation... hand jobs... vaginal..."
The friends looked at each other in disbelief as Phoebe rattled off sex acts like she was reading the salad dressing list on a menu.
"...cum shots, facials, oral, anal, spanking, whips, chains... ya know, regular stuff. Whatever you want."
"Okay," Monica said, as she gestured with her finger raised, "No whips... no chains."
Rachel added, "Yeah, and that whole 'butt thing'... none of that for me either."
"So, IF... we did do this... how would we... um... start?" Joey asked.
"Oh! I know," Phoebe said excitedly as she got up from the couch, "I have another great idea."
"You're just full of ideas tonight, aren't you," Ross said flatly.
She came around the back of the couch and purred in his ear in her best sex-star voice, "Well maybe tonight I'll be full of YOU... lo-ver."
Everyone, including Rachel giggled at his embarrassment.
"You... you'd be okay with this," Ross asked Rachel, "if I had sex with Phoebe tonight."
She thought a moment. "Well... sure. I mean, it's Phoebe. It's not like you're out banging some girl I don't know. But, would you be okay with me having sex with Joey or Chandler?"
He paused, looking at the floor, uncertain. "Um... I don't think it'd bother me too much."
"I'll try not to show ya up," Joey offered. Ross looked at him with thinly veiled irritation. Not necessarily at the comment, but that he knew Joey had to be great sex for any woman.
Chandler broke the tension. "And I'm sure that you have NOTHING to worry about from me." Monica smiled and rubbed his arm.
Phoebe returned from the kitchen with two small bowls.
"Ooo, yeah... this'll be fun! Okay... I've put slips of paper with our names in each of the bowls. One bowl for the guys and one bowl for the girls. I'll draw one name from each, and that couple starts us off."
"So what do the rest of us do?" Chandler asked.
"Well, we will probably watch for a little while, and then as things just happen naturally... So is everybody going to do this?"
They all agreed, with varying levels of enthusiasm.
"First, the guy's bowl," she said as she drew a name. She read it with excitement, "ROSS! Ok, you get up and go over there."
"It figures," he complained, as he stood up.
Rachel smiled and patted his butt as he walked away. He stood on the other side of the coffee table in front of his friends.
"And now... the lucky lady," Phoebe smiled drawing a slip from the second bowl.
"Please be Rachel, please be Rachel," Ross said to himself.
"MONICA!"
"What?" both Gellers said in unison.
"I am NOT having sex with Ross," Monica objected.
"Oh, come on, Monica," Phoebe encouraged, "it's just us. It's not like anyone else would find out about it. And besides, those are the rules, and I know you... you never break the rules of a game."
"Yeah, Monica," Joey said. "The bowls have spoken!"
Rachel sat there, smiling to herself. She knew that, ever since Ross' shower surprise, they both were secretly aroused by the other.
"Look, guys, I just don't think I could... you know... get turned on by my little sister."
Monica left the arm of the chair and stepped up to him.
"What, am I not HOT enough for ya?"
She was clearly insulted. Ross laughed nervously, trying to explain.
"Am I too ugly for you?"
"No, Monica, you're beautiful... REALLY!"
"So am I too FAT?"
"No, no, that's not it... that's DEFINITELY not it." He looked to Rachel for help.
"Hey, you got yourself into this, you get yourself out."
Phoebe helped bail him out. "Well, you don't have to go all the way, if you don't want to. Just go as far as you feel comfortable, and then we'll switch around and stuff. Besides, it's not REALLY sex until the guy's in the girl. The rest is just fooling around."
As if she hadn't heard Phoebe, Monica said firmly, "I can get you turned on, mister. And I'm going to prove it."
She reached up and kissed Ross hard. At first, he resisted slightly, but quickly he melted into the passion of her mouth.
"Ross really is a good kisser," Rachel smiled over at Phoebe, pleased that her boyfriend and roommate were finally doing it.
Their tongues intertwined as Monica's hands felt Ross' back through his shirt, tracing the muscles that her fingers found.