FRIENDS: Deleted Scenes - Staying in Phase Three
Down at Central Perk, Chandler sat with Monica and Rachel. They were drinking coffee and talking about the day. To Chandler, Monica seemed unusually anxious. In the half-hour they were there, she must have looked at her watch a dozen times. Then as Chandler took a sip of latte, he noticed Monica discretely touch Rachel's leg, and then tap on her watch. Within a few seconds, Rachel said nonchalantly, "Ya know, I think I wanna get out of here. You guys want to head back to the apartment?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty much done," Monica replied, trying to mask her restlessness. Chandler glanced at her cup, which was still half-full.
Something was up, and he decided to see what it was. "Sure, we can go, if you want."
As they walked back, bundled against the winter chill, Monica and Rachel hung on Chandler's arms. Monica was the first to speak.
"Ya know, Chandler, we were a little concerned that you might not be completely over Kathy yet, in spite of last night." All three smiled, thinking back to the wonderful sex they'd had. "So we got Joey and Ross tickets to the Ranger game tonight."
Chandler objected, "What? You didn't get me a ticket too? If I'm trying to forget about Kathy, shouldn't I do stuff to take my mind off her, like... let's see... A HOCKEY GAME!"
Rachel laughed, "Oh Chandler. We just thought that you might want to spend the evening with a couple of girls."
"Yeah," her roommate went on, "maybe we can figure out something fun to do."
They walked upstairs to their floor. "Let's hang out at your place," Rachel suggested, opening the door to Chandler and Joey's apartment.
"Yeah, sure," Chandler said, following her in. Monica closed the door behind them as he realized that the apartment was not empty. Phoebe was there, along with four of the women from the strip club that the girls had taken him to the day before.
Rachel cleared her throat. "Now, in case you haven't caught on by now... when I said 'spend the evening with a couple of girls'," pointing to herself and Monica, "I really meant 'the seven of us'."
"And, um, when I said 'figure out something fun to do'," Monica spoke slowly and directly, "what I really meant was... 'have a BIG orgy'."
Chandler tried to stammer questions. His incoherence was comical. Both girls laughed, and Monica answered what was on his mind.
"Well sweetie, we figured that this would help you stay firmly in Phase Three."
Rachel finished her sentence, "And if not, at least we all could have a damn good time trying."
"Thank you," Chandler said to Rachel, then to Monica, "thank you..." and then to both, "thank you, thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you." They giggled at his excitement.
"All right, Chandler," Monica explained, "there are only two rules for tonight. One, you have to do something sexual with each one of us."
"I... always... have been the kind of guy who follows the rules."
Monica smiled, "And TWO, you can't tell Joey about this... ever."
"And you can't tell Ross, either," Rachel added.
"Oh god, no," Monica agreed, "you can NOT tell Ross."
"Well... all right, I think I could suffer through that."
"Now, Phoebe and Rachel and I have pooled all our toys and scattered them around the room so feel free to use anything you want."
"I think I'll be using the 'toy' that Mother Nature gave me," he replied.
"That's just fine. Okay, let's make sure you know everyone here," Monica began, "With Phoebe, there in the kitchen, that's Candy." They were opening a couple bottles of wine and filling glasses.
"So, Phoebe's going to 'make' Candy in the kitchen?" he smirked, pleased with himself.
"Um, a word of advice," Monica said, patting his chest, "avoid the jokes and just stick to the sex."
They took him over to two girls, chatting beside one of the recliners. "This is Chantal," Monica said, gesturing to a tall, buxom brunette.
"Well, hey there, darlin'." Southern charm dripped from her voice. Chandler greeted her, but his eyes never left her large breasts.
"This is Alexis..."
"Hey, you're the one that slapped me while you were dancing," he said indignantly.
"Well, you were leering at me," she teased.
"It's a strip club. I'm supposed to leer. You're a stripper. I'm supposed to leer at YOU."
Alexis laughed. "Oh, well, sorry. But I promise I'll make it up to you tonight."
Monica finished the introductions. "And that's Michelle, sitting on the couch. She's the one who helped me put all this together." Michelle waved and Chandler recognized her as the cocktail waitress, who the girls had convinced to teach the third grade.
"So that's the Michelle you were talking about last night? She's pretty cute."
"Uh, YEA-ah. I mean, look at her. Don't ya just want to eat her up?" Monica said with complete lust in her voice.
"Well, yes. But it sounds like you're the one who will be eating her tonight." Monica gave him a sideways look and a demure smile.
"So how do you want to start?" Rachel asked Chandler excitedly. Phoebe and Candy were passing out glasses of wine.
"Ooo, ooo, I know," he said excitedly as he ran to his bedroom. He returned wearing a burgundy smoking jacket, with black satin lapels. Monica and Rachel couldn't hide their amusement. "What is THAT?" Rachel laughed.
"It's a smoking jacket. You know, like Hef."
Monica put her hand on his shoulder. "Ok, I think 'Hef' wears silk pajamas... but whatever..."
