FRIENDS: Deleted Scenes - Staying in Phase Three
Down at Central Perk, Chandler sat with Monica and Rachel. They were drinking coffee and talking about the day. To Chandler, Monica seemed unusually anxious. In the half-hour they were there, she must have looked at her watch a dozen times. Then as Chandler took a sip of latte, he noticed Monica discretely touch Rachel's leg, and then tap on her watch. Within a few seconds, Rachel said nonchalantly, "Ya know, I think I wanna get out of here. You guys want to head back to the apartment?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty much done," Monica replied, trying to mask her restlessness. Chandler glanced at her cup, which was still half-full.
Something was up, and he decided to see what it was. "Sure, we can go, if you want."
As they walked back, bundled against the winter chill, Monica and Rachel hung on Chandler's arms. Monica was the first to speak.
"Ya know, Chandler, we were a little concerned that you might not be completely over Kathy yet, in spite of last night." All three smiled, thinking back to the wonderful sex they'd had. "So we got Joey and Ross tickets to the Ranger game tonight."
Chandler objected, "What? You didn't get me a ticket too? If I'm trying to forget about Kathy, shouldn't I do stuff to take my mind off her, like... let's see... A HOCKEY GAME!"
Rachel laughed, "Oh Chandler. We just thought that you might want to spend the evening with a couple of girls."
"Yeah," her roommate went on, "maybe we can figure out something fun to do."
They walked upstairs to their floor. "Let's hang out at your place," Rachel suggested, opening the door to Chandler and Joey's apartment.
"Yeah, sure," Chandler said, following her in. Monica closed the door behind them as he realized that the apartment was not empty. Phoebe was there, along with four of the women from the strip club that the girls had taken him to the day before.
Rachel cleared her throat. "Now, in case you haven't caught on by now... when I said 'spend the evening with a couple of girls'," pointing to herself and Monica, "I really meant 'the seven of us'."
"And, um, when I said 'figure out something fun to do'," Monica spoke slowly and directly, "what I really meant was... 'have a BIG orgy'."
Chandler tried to stammer questions. His incoherence was comical. Both girls laughed, and Monica answered what was on his mind.
"Well sweetie, we figured that this would help you stay firmly in Phase Three."
Rachel finished her sentence, "And if not, at least we all could have a damn good time trying."
"Thank you," Chandler said to Rachel, then to Monica, "thank you..." and then to both, "thank you, thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you." They giggled at his excitement.
"All right, Chandler," Monica explained, "there are only two rules for tonight. One, you have to do something sexual with each one of us."
"I... always... have been the kind of guy who follows the rules."
Monica smiled, "And TWO, you can't tell Joey about this... ever."
"And you can't tell Ross, either," Rachel added.
"Oh god, no," Monica agreed, "you can NOT tell Ross."
"Well... all right, I think I could suffer through that."
"Now, Phoebe and Rachel and I have pooled all our toys and scattered them around the room so feel free to use anything you want."
"I think I'll be using the 'toy' that Mother Nature gave me," he replied.
"That's just fine. Okay, let's make sure you know everyone here," Monica began, "With Phoebe, there in the kitchen, that's Candy." They were opening a couple bottles of wine and filling glasses.
"So, Phoebe's going to 'make' Candy in the kitchen?" he smirked, pleased with himself.
"Um, a word of advice," Monica said, patting his chest, "avoid the jokes and just stick to the sex."
They took him over to two girls, chatting beside one of the recliners. "This is Chantal," Monica said, gesturing to a tall, buxom brunette.
"Well, hey there, darlin'." Southern charm dripped from her voice. Chandler greeted her, but his eyes never left her large breasts.
"This is Alexis..."
"Hey, you're the one that slapped me while you were dancing," he said indignantly.
"Well, you were leering at me," she teased.
"It's a strip club. I'm supposed to leer. You're a stripper. I'm supposed to leer at YOU."
Alexis laughed. "Oh, well, sorry. But I promise I'll make it up to you tonight."
Monica finished the introductions. "And that's Michelle, sitting on the couch. She's the one who helped me put all this together." Michelle waved and Chandler recognized her as the cocktail waitress, who the girls had convinced to teach the third grade.
"So that's the Michelle you were talking about last night? She's pretty cute."
"Uh, YEA-ah. I mean, look at her. Don't ya just want to eat her up?" Monica said with complete lust in her voice.
"Well, yes. But it sounds like you're the one who will be eating her tonight." Monica gave him a sideways look and a demure smile.
"So how do you want to start?" Rachel asked Chandler excitedly. Phoebe and Candy were passing out glasses of wine.
"Ooo, ooo, I know," he said excitedly as he ran to his bedroom. He returned wearing a burgundy smoking jacket, with black satin lapels. Monica and Rachel couldn't hide their amusement. "What is THAT?" Rachel laughed.
"It's a smoking jacket. You know, like Hef."
Monica put her hand on his shoulder. "Ok, I think 'Hef' wears silk pajamas... but whatever..."
"Well, I don't plan on wearing it for very long," Chandler protested.
"Ok, everyone. Gather 'round. Our guest of honor is ready to start," Monica announced, always the one in charge. All the women gathered, sitting in or standing around the recliners.
"All right ladies, here's what we're gonna do." He pointed to Alexis, ready to make good on her promise. "You are gonna take off my clothes." Then directing Candy and Chantal, "You two, go get the oils." And finally to Michelle, "And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!"
Phoebe suggested a change, "I-I wanna be with her." She pointed to Candy, who stood beside her. "I like her."
Chandler was VERY understanding. "Oh, that's fine! Go with your instincts, go with your instincts."
"Wait... now, what am I doing again?" Monica asked, a little confused.
"Come on! Would you please pay attention." Chandler could hide his mild frustration. "we have a lot of work to do before Joey gets home! You're doing whatever... and whoever... you want."
"Oh... OKAY!" Monica was clearly satisfied with her instructions.
-----
Phoebe and Candy were already going with their instincts. They were passionately making out as Candy sat on the arm of Phoebe's recliner. Phoebe hungrily pawed one of Candy's D-size breasts.
In her sexy porn-star voice, Phoebe said, "Is the stripper going to teach an innocent girl a little something about sex?" Candy smiled lustily, knowing that Phoebe wasn't so innocent at all.
Candy stood and walked around in front. She wore part of her "fighter pilot" costume. At this point, it consisted of a pair of fishnet thigh-highs, a dark blue halter bra with wide gold bands on the top of the cups, and a very short blue miniskirt. A strip of narrow gold piping ran down each hip. Up the center was a gleaming gold zipper. Candy swayed her hips seductively for Phoebe. Then she took the blonde's hand and brought it to the tab of the zipper, between her legs.
-----
Alexis walked straight to Rachel and said, "You're the one I want."
Shocked by her directness, she laughed sheepishly. "Oh, well, okay. But I'd kind of like to be with Chantal first."
"Oh that's fine," the auburn-haired beauty replied, bringing her lips close to Rachel's. "Just make sure you save a dance for me. Monica says you're a damn good stripper." Leaving Rachel with a lingering kiss, Alexis went over to Chandler.
Rachel turned to Monica. "Um, did you tell her about me stripping for you guys last night?"
"No!," then Monica's response softened as she bit her nail, "But I mighta mentioned something about it to Michelle." She went on, trying to put her roommate at ease. "Besides Rach, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. You were a lot better than some of the girls at the club yesterday."
"Ya think so?" Rachel asked. Her nose was crinkled in her cute way.
"Oh totally," Monica reassured her. Then she looked up at Chantal, "Now let's have some fun with Chantal."
-----
As Candy held the two halves of her skirt, Phoebe pulled the zipper, undoing it from bottom to top. Candy opened the flaps like a book, revealing her dark blue thong. It had a line of gold right down the center, disappearing between her legs.
