Two months into their relationship, Rachel grew curious about Ross's past. She had attended Ross and Carol's wedding, and was eye-witness to their marriage and divorce. She had no visibility into his college years, and very little into the two years since his divorce. They had not delved into one another's sexual histories, except to declare themselves free of disease and Rachel protected against pregnancy.
They were watching a movie in which one character had married young, and later regretted not having had broader experience with the opposite sex. Rachel paused the movie, and asked Ross, straight out, "Do you ever wish you had more experience with women? I mean, more different women, when you were young?"
Ross was wary, "Well, no. I am happy with what I have."
"Bullshit, Ross! You must have had stretches when you wished you had a woman."
Ross tread carefully, "Of course, after I hit puberty, I was desperate for girls, and it was years until I got one." He looked at Rachel uncertainly, "The truth is, Carol was my first."
Rachel's jaw dropped, "She was not!"
"Yes, she was, and thank you for ridiculing me about a sensitive subject."
Rachel held Ross's arm, and backpedaled, "Oh, Ross, I didn't mean it that way. It must have been hard growing up, with high school and college, the way boys are. You must have some regrets, dear."
"I think I wouldn't have a problem with my dating history if Carol had not turned out to be a lesbian. Rachel, do not belittle me for this."
Rachel shook her head, "Oh, no, dear, no."
"Rachel, you were my second."
Rachel's face bore a look of paralyzing shock. She could not move or speak for several moments. She whispered, "Ross, is that true?" He nodded. "I didn't know, Ross. Oh, that is so sweet and precious, but the last two years must have been hell."
Ross did not meet her eye, "It was hell. Here I was, friends with a beautiful woman who I loved, but could not touch." He looked at her with a trace of anguish.
Rachel kissed him, and declared, "Ross, I don't want you going through life wondering 'What if?' I think you should sow some wild oats."
Ross knit his brow, "You want me to date other women?"
"No, I would be jealous if you dated other women. I want you to fuck other women. Just sex. Get it out of your system."
Ross said, "Rachel, what would that do to our relationship? My time with you has been the happiest of my life. I won't trade that for anything."
Rachel explained, "Well, without getting specific, I think you know I have had it pretty easy on the dating scene. I grabbed you only after I realized I never wanted a another shallow, temporary relationship. You are a real man, Ross. I know you're a one-woman man. I'm not afraid. I think the gulf between our backgrounds, especially since I have been your one and only straight lover, is liable to gnaw at you for the duration of our relationship. Aren't you even a little envious?"
Ross was apologetic, "I suppose so, in some ways, just like I've been envious of Joey."
