Freaky Funland Resort

WARNING : TWISTED DEPRAVED PERVERTED HORNY ASS SLEAZY FREAKY AS FUCK SEX PARODY... IT AIN'T REAL... BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS DIRTY AS SHIT

THIS IS MY HORNIEST... FREAKIEST... AND MOST PERVERTED FUCK FILLED FUCKFEST STORY YET... THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CELEBS IN THIS... IT'S ABOUT FREAKY FUNLAND RESORT... ME AND MY FUCKED UP HORNY ASS FAMILY AND CREW OPEN UP THE WILDEST... AND HORNIEST... RESORT EVER... ENDLESS FREAK FUCKING FUN... HOT DAMN!!

OUR MOTTO : WE FUCK... IT'S WHAT WE DO!

"Now that's a sign. FREAKY FUNLAND RESORT. James really outdid himself with this one. 50 feet tall... 50 feet long... blue and gold neon... fucking pimp city for sure." My wife Penny (The Big Bang Theory) says to my wife Kim Kardashian, as they look over my huge new sign for our resort. We specialize in privacy...so celebrities love us. All my famous friends love it. It's nicknamed Fuck City USA... you can guess why. It's the most white trash, wild as fuck, crazy ass, perverted, sex crazed resort known to MANKIND. Penny and Kim run the resort for me. They're not only superbabes... but they're also superbosses.

"Hey Herbie. How's everything inside?"

"Ummmmm... I... Ummmmm..." My nerdy, shy lackey Herbie is really awkward around women. He's huge, fat and obsessed with Batman... and porn... Well, one isn't bad.

"Still have trouble talking to girls huh?" Penny smiles. Short blonde hair. Skimpy, orange bikini, daisy dukes and orange flip flops. Fuckin' babed out to the max. She flashes Herbie quickly. He stares wide eyed and sweats... Herbie sweats a lot. Kim laughs. Penny winks at her. Kim smiles at Herbie and pulls her black bikini top off her big tits, flashing Herbie too. Kim's the queen. Hottest bitch on earth. Got her hair long, straight and blonde. Skimpy, black bikini, black spandex pants and black pumps... black, designer shades too.

"You wanna fuck us don't you Herbie?" Penny asks. Herbie almost passes out. Penny and Kim giggle.

"Pull out your cock for us Herbie." Penny ramps up the teasin'. Herbie just stares, open mouthed, at those two awesome pairs of naked tits. He can't speak or do anything. He's frozen in pleasurable shock.

"Here... let me help you." Penny walks up to Herbie and reaches in his black Batman pants. She grabs his cock and smiles.

"Very nice Herbie. Very nice." Penny pulls out his 9 inch cock.

"Mmmmmmm... Look at this Kim. He's got a big one. We're gonna have a lot of fun with ol Herbie here." Penny smiles right at Herbie. He's still open mouthed and staring hard at Penny and Kim's luscious tits. Penny strokes his big cock slowly. Herbie finally closes his eyes, groaning so loud, shaking, totally shocked by his luck.

"Want us to suck it Herbie? You won't cum in my mouth right away will ya sweetie? I'll swallow your load, if you fuck us first.

"UHHHHHHHHH..." Herbie grunts. His cock explodes in Penny's hand. Cum bursts out all over the ground. Herbie runs off. Penny and Kim laugh. Penny walks back to Kim. She looks at her hand and sees a glob of Herbie's thick cum on it. Penny holds her hand to her mouth and sticks out her tongue. She licks at the semen, tasting it.

"Mmmmm... nice and yummy. Too bad he ran off." Penny and Kim giggle and put their boobs away.

Back at my trailer...

"DAMN JAMES... WORK THAT ASS DADDY!!"

"WHO'S ASS IS THIS BITCH? TELL ME BITCH!"

"IT'S YOURS DADDY... I'M YOUR BITCHHHHHHHHH!!"

I slap my cousin Terry's big ass, pounding my foot long dick up that formerly tight ass, thumping it HARDDDDDDDDDDDDD!! SHIT... FUCKING THAT SLUT HARDER HARDER HARDERRRRRRRRR MY HUGE COCK PLUNGING INTO HER DARK DEPTHS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON HARDER HARDER HARDERRRRRRRRR!!

Terry's big ass, beautiful, natural titties in my hands... feelin' so fuckin' good. She squirts for the fourteenth time. Fuck yeah... I said fourteen fuckin' times motherfucker. Been butt fuckin' the big titty whore for two hours. Woke up horny, so I grabbed her and booty banged the fuck outta her. Bitch loves my big dick up her ass. I pull her short hair and piledrive my foot long dick as hard up that whore's phat ass as hard as fucking possible. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... GOD DAMN YESSSSSSSSSS DADDYYYYYYYYY... POUND ITTTTTTTTTT... I'M YOUR WHOREEEEEEEEEE!!"

"DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE WHORE!" I pound the fuck outta her ass for another hour... Six more orgasms. Twenty, bitches. Then I pump my sticky seed deep up her bowels... Flooding her hershey highway. YEAHHHHHHHH!!

"TAKE... THAT... HO!!" My thighs slap her thick ass hard as I pump my wad up her whore ass. I pull out and piss all over her ass, back, pussy, head, hair and everywhere else. Bitch flips around and sucks me, drinking down my piss and cum mixture. Good whore. I slap her face and spit in it. Bitch loves it, lickin' it up, swallowing it down with my piss and cum.

Been pimpin' my cousin for years. She's a good earner. She's a cheap whore. $50 a blowjob. She'll do it for $20 if you give her some weed or whiskey. She's a freak... all my bitches are. Bitch loves swallowing jizz. She's a full fledged cum dumpster. I throw her $500 and some weed... she's my cousin, so I take care of the whore.

I get dressed. White and gold striped sweatpants and Air Jordans. Pimped out gold and diamonds PRETTY BOY chain. Kim bought it for me. Bought me my pimped out $650,000 Bentley outside too. Two thirds a million dollars Bentley out front of a trailer... Motherfucker, we keepin' it white trash as shit round this bitch.

"Make sure you earn me some fuckin' money today bitch. Got those rich motherfuckers at the resort. Walk that track right baby. Get daddy his cheese."

"I will daddy. I'll make you real happy pimp daddy." Terry kisses me. I slap her phat ass and squeeze her big titties, then head out.

"Sweetheart... Misha was looking for you earlier. I think she needs some money. I'm heading over to the resort. You wanna walk with me?"

"Of course mama." I'm a mama's boy. My mama Kathie Lee (Kathie Lee Gifford) is my first love and my greatest love. She's the best. My whole family works at the resort. We all work together and fuck together. Fuckin' is what we do. Not just the resort... but in our personal lives too. It's all about gettin' fucked.

Mama and I make our way over to Freaky Funland. Our trailer is next door. The resort is in the woods. It's a beautiful resort. Huge pool and stage outside. Huge lake behind it. Nice, comfy place for rich people... especially famous people... to come, relax, have some fucked up fun... and get fuckin' fucked.

Mama pulls me over to a tree. She's fuckin' horny... hot damn! She pulls out my cock and pulls up her tight, baby blue mini skirt and slide my cock ride up one of the prettiest... and juiciest... pussies ever. I fuck mama right against the tree. I pull up her baby blue tank top... mama never wears a bra... except a sports bra... I have a thing for em. I suck her beautiful, soft, mature titties, softly biting those hard nipples, sucking down her delicious milk, as I slam up her cunt, all 12 inches of pure bred dick thunder launching up her beautiful pink tunnel.

"FUCKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEE BABYYYYYYYYYY!!" Mama looks so beautiful, screaming out in ecstasy. I smile. I keep sucking her gorgeous, natural tits, drinking her awesome titty milk, and drive my foot long dick as hard and fast up her perfectly trimmed, dark blonde pussy as possible. GOD DAMN, MAMA'S PUSSY IS GOOD!!

Mama squirts hard, shooting out her pussy jizz like a shotgun. I fuck her faster and faster, roughly fondling her titties, her milk shootin' out between my fingers. We kiss with raw animal lust. Mama sucks my tongue so hard. She squirts again. I cum blast her beautiful, super soaked cunt, pumpin' my thick, sticky load deep up her horny pleasure palace.

"Mmmmmmm... thank you baby. I needed that. Your daddy can't fuck like you baby... he can't even get it up half the time anymore. (Mama Laughs)... I needed your super cock wrecking my pussy. Mmmmmmm... love you so much sweetheart."

"Anytime mama. Love you too."

Mama fixes her clothes, kisses me and heads inside. I see my daughter Misha gettin' fucked doggy style against a tree by my cousin Spence (The King Of Queens). Misha's horny as hell. I also pimp her. She wanted to be a ho, so I decided to pimp her myself. I watch Spence plow Misha's twat from behind, her big hanging titties jiggling like crazy. He cums up her pussy... she's on the pill, no need to get knocked up... unless it's by me. Spence hands her some money and walks off.

Misha sees me and walks over. "Hey daddy. Another hundred bucks." Misha hands me the money, but I wave it off.

"Keep it babe. Here..." I hand her $1000. "Mama said you needed money."

"Thank you daddy." Misha kisses and hugs me. "Yeah... I fucked Spence. He wanted me pretty bad, so I charged him. It's amazing what a hard dick will do to a guy." We laugh. Misha drops to her knees and sucks me off. My daughter is a fuck star. She can fuck with the best of em.

Misha jerks my thick base and sucks the rest of my big ass dick, lookin' up at me the whole time... she knows what daddy loves. I put my hand on her head and enjoy the blowjob.

Misha sucks me off quick, her tongue swirling all over my throbbing shaft, her lips gliding up and down it, drawing out my cum. I feed her my creamy load. Misha is a good ho, she swallows it all easily, smiling around my massive cumming cock. I smile, as I feed my hot ass daughter my jizz. Misha drinks it like a pro. She always makes daddy proud. She kisses all over my cock and puts it back in my pants.

Inside the resort...

"How have you been Tyra? Long time no see." My wife Kate Upton greets her supermodel friend Tyra Banks. They hug and check each other out by the bar.

"I've been great. Look at you girl." Tyra plays with Kate's awesome, natural breasts. "Titties looking spectacular as always. How's married life treating you?"

"It's wonderful. James is such a sweetheart. I love him so much. The sex is unbelievable. That's what we do here... we fuck. As James would say." Kate and Tyra giggle, smiling happily.

"I know. I miss James' cock. I haven't had that big ol white dick in me in way too long. Where is that fine white daddy at anyway?" Tyra looks around for me.

"Oh, he's around. I'm sure you'll have his super cock in you real soon." They laugh.

"I hope so. I need a good fuck... or a hundred. My pussy's getting lonely. It's been awhile." Tyra rubs her pussy through her tight jeans. Then she rubs Kate's, through her white Capri pants.

"Mmmmmmm... there's other dicks here too. (Kate Plays With Tyra's Big Tits)... We all fuck, so I've tried em all... Hey Herbie... come meet Tyra Banks." Tyra calls out to my nerdy lackey. Herbie comes over, nervously smiling. Kate grabs a beer from the waitor's tray and hands it to him.

"He's really awkward around women... but he's fine when he drinks a beer. He's got a big cock too." Kate whispers to Tyra.

Herbie stands by Kate, drinking the beer. For some reason a beer relaxes Herbie. He doesn't panic around women, like he did earlier with Penny and Kim. His huge gut sticks out of his black Batman tee shirt and over his blue shorts. Tyra looks him over. He's not her normal choice of lover... but she's horny... and Kate said he has a big dick, so she goes with the flow.

"Hello Tyra... it's a pleasure to meet you." Herbie says, staring at Tyra's big chocolate titties in her skin tight, white ANTM tee shirt. Her white bra is outlined in the tight shirt. Herbie pops a boner. Kate notices and rubs it. She grabs it through his sweat shorts, to show Tyra.

"See... I told ya." Kate shakes her eyebrows at Tyra and smiles.

"Tyra looks at the big, thick, white nerd dick and licks her lips. "Wanna fuck me Herbie?" Tyra asks, her big, full tits rubbing on Herbie's chest.

"Yessssss." Herbie says, nodding, finishing his beer. Kate smile and they all head up to Tyra's room.

Back in the kitchen...

"Yeah Spence... Eat it baby. Mmmmmmm... Ahhhhhhh." My cousins Anne Burrell and Spence are fooling around. Spence is eating whipped cream outta Anne's blonde pussy. Anne's a lesbian with a taste for dick. We fuck all the time... and I pimp her out to other dudes. She fucks on her own too. Spence has his chubby face stuffed in Anne's phat pussy, eating all that melted cream from Anne's warm pussy.

He fucks her too. Anne's sitting on the steel counter, as Spence slams up her whipped cream flavored cunt. Spence rips open Anne's white chef coat and slaps Anne's big titties, squeezing them hard as fuck. Spence is a horny motherfucker... Like the rest of us, so he's always fuckin' somebody. He's got a thick dick and the chicks... and dudes... dig his cum too. Spence slams Anne's pussy. Anne cums, her cream mixing with the whipped cream. Spence pulls out and leans over shoving his tongue up her pussy, eating both tasty creams.

"FUCKKKKKKKK... YEAHHHHHHHH... MMMMMMMM!!" Anne grinds on Spence's face. He slams back up her pussy, drilling that thick dick like a jackhammer up Anne's gorgeous cunt.

"You want my jizz baby?" Spence asks, grunting.

"Oh yeah. I wanna drink it all." Anne says, licking her luscious lips.

Spence pulls out. Anne drops to her knees. Spence jerks his cock off into Anne's open, thirsty mouth. "FUCKKK!!" Spence cries out, cumming in Anne's mouth. She smiles up at him, her mouth open, collecting all of his thick cream in it. When Spence stops cumming, Anne gulps it all down, then sucks his dick dry.

"Mmmmmmmm... Delicious Spence. I need to make some cupcakes with this cum for the topping. I know it'll be real popular. Now feed me some more baby." Anne starts sucking Spence off, wanting more of his tasty jizz.

Up in Tyra's room...

"YESSSSSSSSSS... FUCK ME WHITEBOY!!" Tyra screams out, as Herbie bangs her from behind on her bed. Tyra puts her face back in Kate's bald pussy, eating her out, shaking her head, loving that big, white, nerd dick plowing her chocolate honey hole.

Penny and Kim walk into the kitchen, to check on things, and see Anne blowing Spence. They walk over and watch. Spence smiles. He's getting sucked off by Anne and has two super hotties watching him.

Penny licks her lips. "Hmmmm... taking a cum break, huh Anne?" Penny asks, smiling. Anne nods and sucks away. Spence grunts, ready to pop. Penny grabs a cupcake and hands it to Anne. Spence shakes and cums. Anne pulls his cumming dick out of her mouth and points it at the big, vanilla cupcake. She jerks out this thick cream onto the cupcake, icing it with it, like a world class pastry chef. She twirls it around, making sure it's topped perfectly.

When Spence finishes, Anne swallows the jizz in her mouth and sucks his dick clean, popping her mouth off of Spence's thick cock with a loud plop. Penny takes the cupcake from Anne and looks it over.

"Nice job Spence. That's a lot of cum. Very nice... we should probably taste it... to make sure it's right." Penny says to Kim, smirking deviously. Penny takes a big bite of the cum topped cupcake and hands it to Kim.

"Mmmmmmmm... Very nice sweetie... so yummy." Penny compliments Spence, as she eats the cupcake and cum in her mouth, licking her lips.

Kim licks the cupcake, then takes a smaller bite than Penny. She eats it. "What do you think Kim? Is it a keeper?" Penny asks.

"Mmmmmmm... So yummy. Your cum is so good Spence. We need to make a lot more of these cum cakes. I'll take a dozen." Kim says, smiling, winking at Penny. Penny and Kim laugh, then kiss. Anne sucks Spence some more, wanting even more creamy cum.

Back in Tyra's room...

"Fuck her ass whiteboy! Slam that fat dick up Kate's ass!" Tyra smacks Kate's perfect, soft ass, while Herbie bangs it with his fat dick from behind. He's holding Kate's curvy hips, as he drills up my wife's ass harder and harder. Tyra smacks Kate's soft ass again.

"YESSSSSSS!! SMACK IT... FUCK IT... GIVE ME THAT BIG FUCKING DICK IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!!" Kate screams out, her big, full, heavy, hanging tits flopping. Tyra reaches under her and squeezes them. Kate cums.

"Take that fat dick in your ass bitch! You love it, don't you?" Tyra smirks at Kate.

"YESSSSSSS... I FUCKING LOVE IT IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!! CUM IN OUR MOUTHS, HERBIE BABY." Kate moans in sheer pleasure. Herbie pulls out. Tyra and Kate swing around and hang the heads... mouths open... off the end of the bed. Herbie jerks off, grunting loud, cumming in both supermodel mouths. He goes back and forth between them, cumming his thick wad in both gorgeous goddesses' wide open mouths. He keeps grunting loud, as he pumps out a huge, thick load. He smacks his thick dick on both women's luscious lips. Tyra and Kate kiss, sharing the huge amount of cum between them. They string out long strands of jizz between their lips, putting on a show for Herbie. They suck it all in, swallowing every drop. Kate and Tyra take turns sucking Herbie clean, their sweet lips stretched around that thick shaft, sucking out every last drop of jizz.

"Nice job Herbie." Kate compliments him, sucking him clean. Herbie smiles happily at Kate.

"Yes... real nice... now... for round two..." Tyra says, a sexually mischievous look on her perfect face. She and Kate laugh and get ready for more.

I look around the front desk for our reservations list. Kim comes up to me and squeezes my cock from behind. "Hey there handsome." She hugs my back.

"Hey there hot stuff. Trying to find the reservations book. Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox are booked... and I wanted to make sure they get the Horny Presidents Suite." Kim opens the big middle drawer and pulls out the book. She opens it and assures me Jennifer and Courteney are getting our biggest suite. They're both close friends if mine, so I want em to have the best. They're stayin' together. They're have been rumors about em being involved for awhile. That makes me fuckin' smile.

"Thanks baby." I tell Kim. She pulls me into the office and locks the door. Kim takes her black bikini off and drops to her knees, pulling out my soft cock. Kim slowly licks every thick inch of it, then slowly sucks me in. I groan happily, smiling at my perfect wife, those amazing lips wrapped so tight around my very thick dick. They glide effortlessly up and down my manmeat, her saliva lubricating my hardening shaft.

I pick Kim up and bend her over the desk. I slap that bootylicious booty and spread those super curvy cheeks. I spend the next twenty minutes pussy thumpin' and ass bangin' Kim. I do her doggy style, bent over the fuckin' desk... I pound her super horny holes, as she lays on the desk... she rides me in her super phat ass, as I suck her big, gorgeous, perky titties with horny glee.

Kim cums six times, floodin' my fuckin' cock and balls... and the carpet. I jizz up her pussy... pull out and shove my damn dick up her tight ass, pumping it past full with my piss. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH... PISS IN MY ASS BABYYYYYYYYYY!!"

Kim starts pissin' on me, as I overflow her magnificent, curvaceous ass with my warm urine. Fuck yeah bitches, it's piss party USA baby! God damn, it's hot. Piss everywhere. I pull out and piss all over Kim's big tits and perfect face. She opens her mouth and drinks it down. She even squats on my face and pisses in my mouth. I drink that sweet piss down with a smile. Kim sucks me, drinking the rest of my piss directly from my happy ass dick.

Kim sucks me so damn good... and fingers my prostate... I dump a huge ass load of jizz down her throat. Kim swallows it all, moaning in pleasure the whole fuckin' time. "Mmmmmmmmmmm... I love your cum James... it's the most yummiest cum ever. Even yummier than Spence's. I ate some of his cum cupcake earlier... but I'd rather have yours daddy." Kim says, smiling sweetly at me, making me fuckin' smile a big ass happy smile as always. She sucks me totally fuckin' dry.