Em. What u up to 2nght? –J
I stared at my phone for a while after opening the text. J, also known as Joe or Joseph on occasion. The real question here was 'why are you texting me?' You see, Joe is my ex. We've been broken up for about 8 or so months now. But the thing with us, we always go running back to one another. And guess who just broke up with his most recent victim. Oh I mean, girlfriend. Yep, that would be him. Now, don't get me wrong, Joe is amazing. I could go on and on about how amazing he was, really I could. But who has that kind of time?
The thing with Joe Jonas is, well, he just can't make up his mind. He doesn't want a commitment, but he doesn't want to be without a girl. And the second it becomes serious, he bails. Which, I know, some people are like that, yes. But it's so hard not to fall for this boy. His looks alone will kill you. His caramel color eyes, the perfect curve of his lips, the way his hair used to fall in his face, till he cut it off. And that's just his face. Don't even get me started on the rest of him. I've always been in love with his voice, especially when he sings. Not that he'd ever admit that he has sung.
But he's more than just another pretty face; he's got the personality to back it up. The adorable awkward-ness too. Plus, he's a good listener and he's got great advice. So what happened with us, you may ask. Ha. Maybe I can shorten it up a bit.
When I was 18, I had gone out with a friend of mine, Amanda. She had just recently met a couple of people and they had asked her to hang out. And since she didn't want to go alone, she took me along with her. Well, basically, it was just a random gathering of people getting drunk, oh and swimming. Yeah, we were out at a lake. I later found out that the place was called 'The Berryfarm', I still don't know why.
Well, Joe had been one of the guys Amanda had met. And she actually had a crush on him first, and wanted me to approve, so to say. Yeah, I approved alright. I don't exactly remember what happened after we got there. I mean, I know that sounds bad, but I may or may not have had one or five drinks. :) Don't judge me. But, what I do know is that Joseph and I ended up in the back of Amanda's car, talking. You pervs. We talked about everything, from school; we were both seniors, to the stars and the moon. We talked past boyfriends and current girlfriends. Oh yeah, I stole him from another girl. Well, not literally stole, but you know what I mean.
Joe had been dating this girl, whose name isn't important anymore. She was a year or two younger than us, and he wound up cutting her lose the next day. Which, I did feel really bad about it. But she was a bitch to me, so I don't care anymore. (more about that later) Within the next few weeks, graduation had happened and it was officially summer. Every weekend was spent out there with him and his friends. It was the best summer of my life. Eventually Joe and I started dating, after much teasing from our friends. He had finally got the courage to ask me out. Of course, I said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? He was my best friend, and honestly, I couldn't wait to kiss him and hold his hand. Just call him mine.
I fell completely head over heels for him. I was a hopeless romantic that didn't know any better. Our first date consisted of him cooking me dinner at my house. My parents had gone out of town, so we had the house to ourselves. Then we cuddled up and watched Fly Away Home. I'm not even sure why we watched that movie, but we did. Kind of a weird first date, but we had already spent so much time together, we basically knew each other inside and out.
Our first kiss had happened before that though. It's kind of funny though. I wouldn't let him kiss me till we dated. We'd be sitting down by the water at The Berryfarm, and he'd lean real close to me. I knew exactly what he was doing, so I'd just smile at him and simply say, nope. He hated it, but I wasn't about to give out my kisses. Let alone my FIRST kiss. So our first kiss happened, the day before we started dating. It was electrifying. Ever nerve lit up, and I can't even explain it. I was just tingly all over. It was amazing.
We didn't date for very long though. Maybe a month. A lot of drama happened between us, that I'll spare the details about. (it wasn't pretty, and I regret it) I didn't cheat on him or anything like that. Nor did he cheat on me. Just this girl tried to mess things up, and well, it worked. Jen, the girl, liked Joe and had liked him for some time. Well, Joe didn't return those feelings for her, but she was in denial about it. Anyway, the second we broke up, she was after him.
But, hehe, a month or so after we broke up, Joe and I started talking again. Jen had told me he'd been with some chick the night before and that I needed to watch my back. I didn't care what she said, or did. Well, that night Joe and I made up, and decided just to talk for the time being. We talked for about 3 months, and never got to hang out. Because by now, it was winter. We both had a million things to do, with college, and work. Along with personal things. So we wound up not getting back together.
It wasn't until March of 2010, just last year that we started talking again. We instantly fell back into our friendship, and started hanging out all the time. I was spending at least two days out of the week over at his house. We'd just sit out in his backyard, talking. Filling in each other about what had happened over the past year. A lot had changed since then, just like a lot has changed now since then. Anyway, we wound up texting one night, and I asked him.
"Ya know, I kind of miss it. –E"
"What do you mean? –J"
"I mean, the whole, couple part of it. –E"
"Would you maybe want to try dating again? I mean, we have a stronger relationship now, and I think we're kind of stupid not being together right now. –E"
So naturally he fell asleep, in the middle of this. I woke up the next morning in a panic, like always. Thinking maybe I had just messed everything up. I usually did, so it just came naturally. So, in an attempt to save myself.
"I have no idea what I was thinking last night, I mean, that's just crazy. I don't want to mess up our friendship. –E"
Well, I had been wrong, because he had been thinking about it too. We wound up dating for about 4 or so months before he randomly broke it off one day. I still don't know what actually happened. I had just been out to see him the weekend before that. And when I was leaving I had joked around with him.
"Oh come on, ya know ya love me." I teased him.
"I don't know, maybe." Joe replied, his face getting serious. I didn't know what to say, so I just hugged him, and gave him a kiss. That night he told me he loved me. I had been asleep, so I didn't text him back. Of course, I did that morning. I knew I loved him, so there was no if and or buts about it.
So, it broke me pretty bad. I laid in bed for days, just crying. Then I blamed myself for it. I had realized that I shouldn't have gotten attached, because I knew exactly how he was. Then I went through the phase of not caring anymore, and that's when my friends stepped in. They made it all better, of course. That's what friends are for, right?
I hadn't even talked to him since we broke up. Sure, he had text and even called me since, but I just couldn't talk to him. I couldn't hear that voice that I loved so much. But of all things I didn't block or delete him out of, I left him on my facebook. I was curious. And that would be my downfall. So I knew he had been with some chick for the past few months. And I also knew that they had just broken up about a month ago.
So, here I sit, staring at my phone. 'What am I up to tonight?' Well, if he must know, I'm doing absolutely nothing. Because well, I have no life. I'm 20 years old, and I'm sitting at home on my computer. I have no life anymore. All of my friends have boyfriends, who they spend ALL...and I mean, all of their time with. College friends? Nope, I've very shy and I can't ever make new friends. If I have to talk, I will, but otherwise I don't.
Not much. U? –E
I patiently sat at my computer, gripping my phone tightly. A little too tightly. Trying to keep my nerves calm. I don't know why, but he always had a way of making my heart speed up, whether he was around me or just simply texting me.
Drinking beer. Lol –J
Of course he is. Because that's all he ever does. Rolling my eyes, I texted back quickly.
Naturally. By yourself? –E
No, I got my buddies out here, just need some booty. ;) –J
Wow...so now he wanted what? A booty call? This could get fun. Ahem, I mean, is he kidding me right now? I'm his ex/ex best friend. We never even did that. And for all he knows I still haven't lost that card. (I have, but like I said, he doesn't know that) Also, on a side note, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months. He was just...too clingy. But this isn't about him.
Aww, you poor thing. :( :P –E
Lol. You should come out. –J
I had a feeling that was coming. Now, the question is, do I go or not? A reason not to go would be because this would simple be a bootycall. But a reason to go, is because well, it could get fun. And I kind of want to see him. I know that's a down side to it, but I do want to see how well he is. And that might be a reason not to go. Let's say I didn't go, I would sit here, and be bored for the rest of the night, wondering what would have happened had I gone. Let's say I do go, I have a ton of fun. Do a little teasing. Show Joe what he's missing out on. Have a random hook up. Yep, I think I'll go. What's the worst that could happen anyway? He smacks my ass? Truth be told, I like that. So.....awkward...
Well, where are you at? –E
