Everybody Loves Raymond: Debra Does Voodoo

A story of complete fiction about fictional characters

*****

It had been another three long months since her husband Ray had received a regular paycheck. He had been "furloughed" by his employer, NY Newsday, where he had been a sports columnist for the last ten years. Since then, Debra had come to realize that "furlough" was just a fancy word for "terminated." They had continued to periodically purchase a few of his free-lance articles, but this was so substitute for a steady paycheck. The latest indignity was that now they were no longer eligible for the newspapers' health and dental insurance coverage. Luckily their daughter Ally had gotten braces on her teeth before he was laid-off, but there were still the regular adjustments and checkups. Their twin boys, Michael and Geoffrey, were due for checkups, and who knew if they would eventually need braces also. It had been a long, cold winter and heating the house had cost a small fortune. The furnace had conked-out on several occasions, and would probably need a major overhaul,or replacement.

It seemed like all the normally small expenses were piling up and causing one huge headache. The car had been acting up, and their credit at the garage was no longer considered a sure thing. The boys would have been completely satisfied to stay in the house every day and play video games, but Ally had her heart set on ballet lessons, and Debra hated to deprive the children. It wasn't just the lessons that were expensive; she also had to have the ballet clothing and slippers. Ray had sold a few articles to other publications, but they were becoming increasingly desperate for money.

Debra had accepted a few jobs from her professional photographer friend Sheila in the past, and she had made up her mind to call her again. She had originally met Sheila when having some "boudoir" photos taken to give Ray on their tenth anniversary. She had told the family that the jobs were "product modeling" assignments, where she was just the background for various products, like earrings or watches. This way she could just point to as ear, or hand, in a printed advertisement and say it was hers. The truth was: the jobs were extremely sexual in nature, and she could never let anyone find out the actual details.

She had posed for nude photographs to be sold to "niche" publications; like bondage magazines or web-sites. She had also performed sexually at a couple of private functions, and been paid handsomely. If she was being honest with herself, she would admit that she had enjoyed the extreme sex immensely; and maybe was even becoming addicted to it. These sexual performances were in a very controlled setting and she preferred the term "performance" to "gangbang." Just remembering these occasions was causing Debra's nipples to harden. She rationalized her infidelity by convincing herself that it was necessary to provide for her family. She was just about to reach for the phone to call Sheila, when she heard the backdoor slam shut. As soon as she heard her mother-in-law's voice call her name, Debra thought, "why don't I ever lock that damn door."

Marie came marching through the kitchen, and blurted out that she wanted to take the twins to the barber for haircuts. Her in-laws, Marie and Frank, loved directly across the street from her, and thought noting of barging in at all hours of the day. Debra wanted to explode and scream at Marie for butting into their family business, but she decided to take a different tact. "Why thank you Marie," she responded, "I've been wanting to do that, but with Ray out of work, we really can't afford it." She knew that implying Marie's favorite son Ray couldn't provide for his family, would annoy her deeply; and she was proud of herself for the way she handled Marie's intrusion.

Marie was immediately flustered, and meekly muttered, "well, I just thought their hair was getting a little shaggy."

Debra knew that this was just another of Marie's not-so-subtle ways of labeling her a bad mother, and she had heard enough of it in the last ten years. She was the most intrusive, critical, sarcastic person Debra had ever met; and she thought that it was no wonder both her sons were so psychologically messed up. Ray was tied to Marie's apron strings permanently, and his brother Robert, despite being a Sergeant in the NYPD, was afraid of getting close to any woman. So Debra had decided to play Marie's game today and answered, "that would be great. I'll call them down. That will be one less expense Ray has to worry about."

After Marie left with the twins, Debra was alone in the house and punched Sheila's number into the phone. Ray had been gone all afternoon, interviewing some Quarterback or Cornerback, or something; she didn't really care which; and Ally was playing at a friend's house. Sheila answered immediately with, "oh Debra; so glad to hear from you. The truth is I was debating whether to call you about an opportunity that just came up."

"I am getting kind of desperate again, Sheila," Debra admitted, "I will probably take just about anything at this point."

"Well, this is another job involving a performance for a private club...would you have any objections about dancing with a snake," Sheila inquired.

She thought a minute, and although she wasn't crazy about snakes, she assumed Sheila would not refer her if the situation was not safe; so she asked Sheila for the contact number.

Sheila gave it to her, and added, "let me know how it goes, if you decide to do it."

Since she was thankfully still alone in the house, Debra quickly called the number provided by Sheila, and was taken aback when a man who identified himself as Antoine answered the phone. His voice resembled James Earl Jones, and it was as if she was speaking to Darth Vader. She indicated she had been referred by Sheila, and the emotion in his voice changed immediately from one of disinterest to one of intrigue. When she told him her name, he became even more excited and mentioned that Sheila had shown him some photos of her, and he was fascinated by her red hair.

She found his deep voice almost hypnotizing as he explained the performance: " we are a private group made up of men , formally from the New Orleans area, who were displaced by Hurricane Katrina back in 2005. Our jobs and homes were lost,and instead of rebuilding in a flood-plain; we were well enough off financially to relocate here to the New York metropolitan area where we all had family. Besides our previous geographic location, the one thing we all have in common in that we practice the Louisiana form of Voodoo. We are very serious about our beliefs, and have regular ceremonies to celebrate it. Next Saturday we have our largest celebration of the year scheduled to celebrate Marie Leveau's birthday. In case you're not familiar; she was the most famous high priestess, or mamba, in New Orleans history. Unfortunately, the woman who usually performs for us, had to leave suddenly for an extended period, to care for a sick relative, and we are in desperate need of a featured performer."

Debra interrupted his silky voice temporarily, "Sheila mentioned something about dancing with a snake..."

"That's correct," he continued, "Marie Laveau always performed with her pet python, and you would be required to perform a short, erotic dance with our python. I can assure you that she is completely safe. She is used to being handled in this manner, and is totally comfortable with people. You see, the trick to keeping a python docile, is to keep it well fed. We are all descendants from former African slaves, and as opposed to the Caribbean Voodoo who portray snakes as being evil; we believe that snakes are the most basic form of life; our connection to the earth and water. The fact that they can form a perfect circle with their body, symbolizes the circle of life. The snake deity is called Li Grand Zombi in our religion. Specifically, during our ritual, you would be required to perform the snake dance and engage in sexual acts with the members. At this point, I'm not exactly sure how many members will be in attendance, but there are seven of us. One more thing you should know before deciding, is that all the members are quite well endowed, and we don't believe in wearing condoms. Given the short time between now and this weekend, I would hope to hear from you with a decision within forty-eight hours."

Just the thought of all those large penises had made up her mind, and the soothing nature of his voice was the clincher, as she assured him, "you have found yourself a priestess." Antoine provided her with the address and they discussed compensation and a few other details before she hung up. Although she was extremely excited at the proposition, Antoine's voice had such a calming effect that she found herself actually feeling drowsy. Antoine had told her that the "snake dance" should be performed in a skimpy bikini, and since she didn't own one, she would have to go shopping tomorrow. She had already decided to tell Ray that this "modeling" job was for shoes; that way she could just point to any feet in a magazine ad, and say they were hers. She was fairly certain that Ray had no plans for Saturday, so he could watch the kids. Knowing his habits like she did; it really didn't matter what time she got home because he would fall asleep watching TV, and be oblivious to the world.

On Friday evening, as Debra was tidying up the kitchen before going up to take a nice, relaxing bath; the kitchen door flew open and in barged her least favorite house-guest: her mother-in-law. Marie blurted out, "you don't have to worry about tomorrow dear; I'll come over to help Raymond with the kids."

This was just Marie's obnoxious way of trying to make Debra feel guilty for leaving, and Debra had the perfect reply: " why should a father need any help with his own children? You know I wouldn't have to take these modeling assignments if Ray had a steady job."

Once again she had turned the blame to Marie's pride-and-joy, and Marie was almost speechless, " well...yeah, ok...where is Raymond?"

"Oh, he's asleep in front of the TV, as usual," Debra replied; rubbing it in. The truth was, Debra really didn't hold any resentment because Ray hadn't found steady work; she just liked to push Marie's buttons. She sometimes wished Ray would look for something part-time; but anything like manual labor was considered beneath him (at least by Marie). And truthfully, he really wasn't good at anything that required manual labor.

Marie glanced in the living room; saw Ray slouched down on the sofa asleep; and meekly left through the back door. Debra smiled to herself as she climbed the stairs...it wasn't often that she got the better of Marie. She drew a nice, hot bath, complete with a generous dose of bath oil; and felt immediately relaxed as she eased her naked body down into the water. She folded a towel and draped it over the end of the tub for a pillow, and lay back in the soothing heat. The water was so hot it was steaming, and all her tensions (even Marie) seemed to melt away as her body went limp. She began to think about her plans for the next night; all the large hard penises worshipping her, and her crotch began to tingle. She realized she knew nothing about dancing with a snake, even though Antoine had assured her it was safe. The only experience she had to go by, was she remembered watching Britney Spears dance with a large snake on some MTV music awards show about ten years ago. She would just do her best and improvise.

Her razor glided over her silky skin as she shaved her legs, underarms and pubic mound. Since the birth of the twins, she had alternated keeping her mound completely bald or leaving a thin "landing strip" of bright red pubic hair. She decided to leave the "landing strip" for this occasion, since Antoine had mentioned her red hair. As she was toweling off, she checked out her reflection in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. "Not bad for a middle aged housewife," she mused. Her ass cheeks were very firm with just the beginning of a sag, and her legs were completely taut with no indication of impending cellulite. Her breasts, widely considered to be her best feature, were a full 38 D with dark pink nipples which protruded like gumdrops when aroused. They hung down on her chest from the sheer weight of them, but did not sag. She knew all of Ray's friends admired them, and he had once nicknamed them "Barnes & Noble."

Retrieving the tiny black string bikini she had purchased yesterday, she decided to try it on. The bottom triangle of cloth just barely concealed her slit; and the top two triangles did not even fully cover her half-dollar sized areola. The string on the bottoms disappeared up between her cheeks, leaving them fully exposed. She thought to herself that if Ray ever saw her in this, he would be all over her. She knew that she would look even better in heels, stretching her shapely legs; but Antoine had indicated that she would be dancing barefoot. When she walked around the bathroom, her wonderful breasts bobbed and wobbled, threatening to spill out of the top. She was pretty sure this bikini would have the desired effect.

Before she went to bed, she used her curling iron on her long lustrous, red hair. As she stood in front of the sink mirror, she laughed to herself, remembering the time the iron had gotten caught in her hair; and Ray had invoked his father's old rule : A-I-S, which stood for Ass In Seat. He had left for a sports award banquet without her and she had made him pay dearly: for the next two weeks she had paraded around the bedroom in her skimpiest negligee, and would not let him touch her. She hoped she could manage to get in bed before him tonight because she did not want him getting her all sweaty before her big night tomorrow.

The next day went quite quickly: some shopping with the kids, and watching a movie with the family before ordering pizza from Nemo's. She threw some bright red lipstick and her bikini in her purse, and went downstairs to leave. She kissed the kids goodnight, and Ray gave her a peck on the cheek and wished her a good time at her modeling job. "If you only knew," she thought. She noticed that Marie was not there yet, but was sure that as soon as she left the driveway; Marie would run across the street to be with her favorite son. Getting into the car, she realized that instead of being nervous; she was surprisingly calm. The address Antoine had given her was only about thirty minutes from her neighborhood. It turned out to be further out on Long Island, and only about one block from the beach. The neighborhood was very ritzy, and when she pulled up the driveway at the given address; she would have called the house a mansion.

She quickly applied her lipstick, and made her way to the front door. The stone facade made the home seem very impressive and when she rang the doorbell, it opened almost immediately. When the large black man spoke the words, " welcome, I recognize you from your pictures. You are an incredibly beautiful woman, Debra...please come in, " she knew from the deep, mellow voice that it was Antoine. " Welcome to my home, please follow me," he instructed.

As Debra passed through the foyer, and into the "great room," she was almost in awe at the opulence of the furnishings. It was obvious that Antoine did not have any financial worries. His physical presence matched his voice: he was at least six foot four inches tall, and when they shook hands, her hand felt like a child's in his. He was dressed in a black silk (she was pretty sure it was silk and not just satin) robe and barefoot. As they walked through the room and down a flight of stairs to the basement, he explained, " we have a total of seven members, but one had an urgent business trip, one had to attend to his wife who had an emergency appendectomy, and another had to attend his daughter's play; so there are only four of us at the ritual tonight. I think you will be surprised when you see the basement."

And indeed she was, as she reached the last step. It looked like she had gone through some sort of portal and emerged in the jungle. There were huge potted palms and ficus everywhere. The walls had been adorned with wallpaper embossed with green palms and ferns. The carpet was a deep pile in mixed shades of green that mimicked the jungle floor; it was so soft and spongy that it was like walking on thick moss. There was a background soundtrack of jungle drums and tropical bird sounds. Debra twirled around like an astounded child; the effect was truly amazing. In one corner was a king size platform bed covered in green, silk (she assumed) sheets and pillows. In another, there was a built-in bar, also in a green, jungle motif. Even the ceiling was like looking up at the leafy canopy of a rain forest. She was so fascinated by the decor that she almost stumbled over the other three members. All were clad in identical black robes and were also barefoot, as Antoine introduced them.

The first man, who Antoine introduced as Jake, was easily as tall as her brother-in-law Robert, who was six foot eight inches. His head was shaved, and she immediately thought of Mr. Clean. His hands and feet were immense, and Debra found herself wondering about other extremities. Maurice was probably just as tall, but very slender, seeming almost undernourished. His hair was set in long dreadlocks and fell around his head like a curtain. She felt like she was surrounded by imposing trees, as they towered over her. The fourth member, Jerome, was "only" about six feet two inches tall, but seemed almost as wide...not fat, just extremely solid and muscular. They all smiled and were extremely gracious, saying how glad they were she had come to perform.

"And this is Baby," proclaimed Antoine, leading her to a large cage, which contained an enormous snake. "We named her after Marie Leveau's python; it just seemed perfect. When she stretches out, she's about eight feet long. She weighs about fifty pounds, so we won't expect your dance to last terribly long. Trust me, she is used to being handled, and actually seems to enjoy it. Even if she became agitated; it's not a python's bite that is dangerous...it is when they coil around their prey and squeeze the life out of it. But there is nothing to worry about, that takes several minutes, and we will always be here with you. If something went wrong, we have a syringe filled with a muscle relaxant; kind of like an epi-pen; that would immediately cause her to uncoil." Debra watched Baby for several minutes, mesmerized by her movement. The snakes body contracted and expanded when it moved; changing its diameter from about three inches, to probably almost eight. Her trance was interrupted by Antoine, "if there are no questions, I'll show you to the bathroom where you can change."

He led Debra to a wall where a door was completely camouflaged by the wallpaper, and opened it for her. The bathroom on the other side was as large as her living room; complete with marble fixtures, and one of those huge shower enclosures where the water cascades down from all sides. The bathroom even had a sofa and TV in it. She quickly changed into the black bikini; arranging it carefully so that her intimate parts were (almost) covered. She put on the black silk (now she knew it was silk) robe that they had provided for her. She could feel her pendulous breasts sway when she walked, and it made her feel very sexy. When she stepped out of the bathroom onto the thick carpet, it felt heavenly under her bare feet.

The quartet was waiting for her, each holding what looked like a brass goblet. Antoine handed an identical one to her, explaining, "this is part of the ritual. They are filled with a drink composed of ground-up snake-shed and mandrake root. Mandrake is part of the Nightshade species and its root has been used in Voodoo ceremonies for centuries. It serves as a sedative and actually slows the heart rate. In some people, it has been known to produce minor hallucinations. Its effect is short lived, so no need to worry about the drive home. It's harmless, and we always drink it in our ritual." They drank the liquid down in one gulp, and then led her to a clearing in the "jungle" where her dance would take place.