Note- The BBC Corporation own the rights to Doctor Who and TARDIS. This is only a fun spoof and not to be taken seriously.
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"It's a distress call! From another TARDIS! There's another Time Lord out there! Hold on, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
The current incarnation of the time traveller known only as the Doctor scrambled around the central six panelled control console of her ship in a frantic rush. The platinum blonde female pushed this and pressed that and rotated a lever as she set co-ordinates for the location of the call for help. This rare type of signal was typically sent by someone with a problem they could not handle alone.
"Another Time Lord. Oh, my."
Since the dreadful Time War with the terrible Daleks, a warrior race made up of genetically engineered mutants, she had feared she was one of only a handful of survivors from the home world of the Time Lords, Gallifrey. The last great war had been fought through countless time periods and millions were killed, maybe even billions. Only a small number of Daleks and Time Lords survived.
"I love getting distress calls."
The slim, green eyed female smiled to herself and brushed her medium length hair from her face. Hailing from Gallifrey the Doctor had absconded hundreds of years ago in an attempt to escape from the awful boredom and tedious bureaucracy of the stuffy race of observers. She had taken a type forty, mark three time and space machine called a TARDIS.
"Nearly there."
Manufactured by the genius of the Time Lords the machine spelled out 'Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.' Capable of travel in time and space it had been the primary means of transportation for the Doctor through twelve regenerations. The Time Lords also possessed the ability to renew their physically injured or decrepit bodies with a new form. The last time for the Doctor had seen him given a female incarnation for the first time.
"Pity the others are not here."
During her countless adventures she had for the most part been accompanied by friends or assistants. Since crash landing in Sheffield during yet another traumatic regeneration she had teamed up with Graham, Yaz and Ryan. On this occasion they had stayed on Earth and she was alone. As the TARDIS traversed the time vortex the Doctor excitedly ran around the console in a desperate attempt to stay on course.
"We're here. Well done old girl."
In a sudden motion the ship shook, the time rotor ceased grinding and the familiar wheezing sound meant materialisation at the final destination. She peered at the readings as she sought to discover her whereabouts.
"Moxypoxytoxin. That's where we are. Wow! According to the information in the Time Lords Matrix this world is considered to be one of the most poisonous planets in all the known Universe. No sentient life for millions of years, just toxic and potentially lethal plants and flora. Why would anybody want to come here?"
She looked on the view screen at the image outside. The terrain appeared to resemble a tropical rain forest on Earth. Tall broad leaved trees dominated the area and formed a dense upper canopy. A diverse array of vegetation and foliage could be seen for miles but no animal or bird life seemed to exist. Bubbling pools of some unknown liquid could be seen here and there, and odd red flowers abounded everywhere.
"I think some protective gear is called for before I go out there."
The Doctor headed to her wardrobe room and there studied her reflection in the full length mirror. First she shed her full length coat and then drew the yellow braces over her shoulders and let her blue high waist culottes fall to her brown lace up boots. Then she tugged her navy shirt off over her head and tossed it aside. Now naked she again looked on her new body, full breasts, wide hips and narrow waist. At the apex of her upper thighs was the novel view of her light pubic hair that hid her spanking new vagina. She turned side on and nodded in approval at her firm and lifted bottom. She jiggled the cheeks with both hands and smiled in satisfaction at how they resumed their pliant shape.
"Could be worse I suppose."
She opened one closet door and laughed when her eyes fell on the iconic orange spacesuit that had been used on more than one occasion, most memorably on Sanctuary Base Six. Once ready, the Doctor checked her readings on a device on her right forearm and read the temperature outside to be 30 degrees Celsius. The door of the ship opened and immediately the Doctor had to draw her sun visor down as the intense sunlight hit her eyes. She stepped out and looked up into a cloudless sky through gentle swaying leaves. The green vegetation and tall evergreen trees were so intertwined that it seemed like a closed canopy hung over the area,
"That's curious, something blue in all this green."
Only a hundred metres away was the unmistakable vision of the familiar blue police box, identical to her very own!
"The TARDIS! Mine! It's the Doctor in distress! Me!"
A remarkable feature of the astonishing time and space machine was the so called 'Chameleon Circuit' which changed the appearance of the ship in order to blend in with its surroundings. Unfortunately the Doctor's machine had several faults and one of which was the broken circuit causing this TARDIS to remain as a small blue police box from twentieth century Earth. As she neared the welcome sight a silhouette of a hunched figure, a man doubled over, by the door of his own ship. He raised his head, his right arm around his stomach, and then stood upright.
"I need help. Something's inhibiting my enzymes."
The tall male looked about six feet tall with spiky brown hair and long sideburns. Dressed in a crumpled blue four button suit with a light brown faux suede overcoat he was clearly the worse for wear. When he looked up his dark brown eyes met hers through the helmet of her spacesuit and her jaw dropped when her gaze fell on the face of her tenth persona. That likeable and easy going incarnation, and undoubtedly handsome fellow that many women adored.
"Doctor!" She gasped.
"You know me? How?"
The female in the orange suit looked unfamiliar to him and then he dropped his gaze as he coughed and bent at the waist. He raised his head again momentarily and perceived the second blue box.
"The TARDIS! The Doctor, is he with you? Is he!"
"First things first. Let's get you inside shall we?" She reached out to steady him.
"You sound like you come from Yorkshire on Earth. Are you English?" He said as he was unceremoniously bundled into his ship.
The unique ability of the TARDIS to have a bigger interior than the exterior is explained as it being dimensionally transcendental. In other words the inside exists in a different dimension to the outer. The pair of Time Lords half walked, half stumbled into the large control room and thirteen removed her helmet as ten fell into an easy chair.
"Ah, I remember this design," she hissed. "Hideous bright green lighting. I HATE it!"
She wrinkled her cute nose as she noted the whole look of the interior which had an organic feel, with different levels and staircases leading off in different directions. The walls had hexagonal shapes and a metal floor.
"Who are you? And where is the Doctor? And which one is it? Er...which one am I?"
The attractive blonde stood proudly with both hands on her hips and held her chin up.
"Brace yourself Doctor, I've got news for you. I'M the Doctor, the thirteenth no less."
"You? The Doctor! A woman now am I? And still not ginger. GAGH!"
The female hurried to his side as he cried out.
"What's happened to you? Are you hurt?"
"No, well. Not exactly."
The good looking man straightened in his chair and looked at his future female self a tad sheepish.
"You DO know where we are don't you. Moxypoxytoxin."
