Emma Ch 04 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You're welcome.

***

Good food, a bottle of wine and a burning candle between us. I'd been looking forward to this for a long time. I looked at her from across the table and was captivated by her piercing green eyes. Her foot playfully brushed against mine under the table and she spoke in that soft, sweet voice of hers.

"London is amazing this time of year. It's all sunshine; no typical dreary London fog."

"I've heard. I'd love to go again sometime."

She took the wine glass to her lips once more and took a small sip. There was something so elegant about her. A quality I hadn't noticed before. But as she sat there in her dark green dress peering over the top of her glass at me, I couldn't help but be captivated by her.

"I'm glad we did this Nate, it's been too long."

"Over two years by my count. I must admit, I have missed you. I've thought about you more than once."

She smiled and despite the dim lighting in the restaurant, I could see her blush. I was quite pleased that I could elicit such a reaction from her. There was a time when I hadn't in my wildest dream, even thought I could be with her. And while I wasn't quite there yet, tonight was going rather well.

"I'm surprised," she said shyly as she avoided my gaze.

"Why? We were close. Of course you'd be in my thoughts."

"No, it's not that. Just with the company you keep, I didn't think I'd register in your mind anymore."

"The company I keep?" I replied, feigning confusion even though I already knew where this was leading.

"You know who I'm talking about. I didn't want to tip-toe around it or make you uncomfortable but you know me and my curiosity," she said slyly.

"That I do Amber. I remember our high school days like it was yesterday."

"So, and I'm sorry if this sounds crass, but why did you and her break up?"

"Her"; I didn't need to ask who she was referring to. It seems that my whole life is now defined by the time I spent with Emma Watson. Amber, an old friend (and crush) of mine from high school, was not the first person to ask about Emma and she certainly wouldn't be the last. I use to enjoy explaining at first; that thrill of being able to tell people that I dated a famous actress. But the thrill soon wears off once I realise what I've lost. I debate the decision constantly. Some days it makes perfect sense while others it seems like the stupidest thing I've ever done.

Lately I've taken to dodging the question the completely. But Amber and I used to be very close friends, and even though we'd long since fallen out of touch, she did agree to go on a date, and that entitled her to some small amount of candour.

"To be honest, I'm not sure anymore. I mean, I remember the events and the conversation that led up to us breaking up but now that I think about it, those problems don't really seem like that big a deal. Not really. Does that make sense?"

Amber chuckled and replied, "That was pretty vague."

I nodded in agreement. "Put it this way; at the time, being close to family and friends and starting my career felt really important. With her, normalcy seemed like this weird, unattainable notion. Our time was beautiful in the moment but it couldn't last. We never had a normal relationship. Not really. We stayed at expensive hotels, dined at expensive restaurants and spent an obscene amount of money on pointless shit we didn't need. It was fun. It was the type of thing you do when you're madly in love and had millions of dollars to waste. But we never did normal relationship things. And with our situations, we couldn't find a way to just be together normally. So we broke up," I said morosely before more cheerfully adding, "So basically, that's a very long way of saying, she lives in England, I live in Australia and neither of us wanted to leave our lives behind for the other person.

Amber was silent for a moment as she took in all this information. Amber could be a hard person to read. If she was anything like she was in high school, I had the feeling she was getting ready to drop some advice. After neither of us said anything for a while I said,

"Well, nothing kills a date like talking about your ex huh?"

Amber laughed. "No, it's not that. It's just what you said..."

"What about it?"

"It doesn't sound like you at all."

"How do you mean?"

"You hate your job," she said bluntly.

"I wouldn't say I hate it. But it can be tough."

"You literally said you hated it 30 minutes ago. We're only seeing each other tonight because you cancelled last week due to some last minute emergency at work. Not to mention you spent 10 minutes after we first sat down complaining about the partners in your law firm."

I shrugged, not really having a good response. She was right after all. She continued and said,

"And no offence, but you're not exactly the most social person."

"I asked you out didn't I," I said proudly.

"Almost 9 years after high school ended and after I'd been single for a year."

"I didn't know you were single," I pointed out.

"Yeah, because you didn't call for three years," she added.

"Correction, you didn't call nor did you express any interest in hanging out. So who's really the anti-social one?" I replied, sounding more bitter than I had intended.

Amber merely raised an eyebrow and stared at me for a moment. It's up for interpretation which one of us let our friendship fade away and while I contend (albeit silently) that it was her, I was beginning to suspect she felt differently. But this was a date after all and Amber was significantly less stubborn than me and said quietly,

"Look, I'm sorry if that sounded like an insult. I'm just saying, Emma Watson seemed to make you happy. I don't understand why you'd give that up for a life that's-"

"Shit?" I interrupted as I felt my old, and perhaps unwarranted resentments, towards Amber bubbling to the surface. "Boring? Humdrum?"

Amber simply smiled and said, "I was going to say full of regret. Regret that even for all your good and valid reasons for breaking up, there was only one factor that really mattered. That you were in love," she said quietly before adding, "And I suspect you still are. And it baffles me why you don't just call her right now. I mean, if you have the chance at happiness, take it. Who cares about silly little things like distance or work? They can wait."

Suddenly I remembered one of the reasons why I loved Amber so much back in high school, why it hit me hard when we fell out of touch and why it made me so happy when I bumped into her and she agreed to go on a date; she knew me well and unlike my other friends, she could cut through the bullshit and identified exactly what was bothering me. I returned her smile and looked down at our plates; half eaten and beginning to grow cold.

"Wanna get out of here and grab a drink?"

Amber smiled and replied, "Absolutely."

***

Days past and I debated whether to call Amber back. The rest of the date had been pleasant, but I was beginning to think the friend-zone suited us both quite well. This was quite a backflip for someone who once fantasised about her daily during the latter years of high school. But the funny thing about dating someone like Emma Watson is that suddenly everyone else seems to pale in comparison. I tell myself I'd get over her. Hell, I often tell myself I'm already over her; but my increasing unhappiness and a newfound high standard of women says otherwise.

Outside of my dating life, things were normal. Today was routine, I went to work, had a few drinks co-workers afterwards before coming home to watch some TV. It was actually a good day. My complaints aside, I had to admit that lately my work had been quite good. Despite the long hours, I still found time for friends, both new and old. And as an unexpected bonus, with all the expensive clothes I bought from my time with Emma, girls in bars often mistake me for some big-shot lawyer; unfortunately only the lawyer-part was true and none of those encounters led anywhere but female attention is always welcome. It was a good life, but it was nothing compared to my time with Emma.

I arrived home to an empty house. I'd been accustomed to living alone for sometime and prior to running away with Emma, it never bothered me; but after I came back, the silence in the house seemed deafening. I missed having her there with me. We'd broken up a long time ago; watching her board a plane at JFK airport in New York seems like a distant memory now.

And so there I am, sitting on the couch, watching my second nightly news broadcast of the evening when my phone rings. My attention was mostly focused on the sports recap and so I didn't even bother to look at the caller ID as I answered.

"Hello, Nate speaking."

"Hi Nate," said a soft, English voice that I recognised immediately.

I sat up straight and put the TV on mute. "Emma," I said after a pause.

"How've you been?"

I was so blindsided by her call that all I could muster in reply was, "Good. Really good."

"I'm glad."

There was a brief silence. It was as if she didn't anticipate the conversation getting this far.

"Happy Valentines Day," she said, clearly without thinking it through.

Confused, I replied, "Valentine's Day was yesterday."

"Oh, right; Australia's a day ahead, I forget sometimes. I suppose that's not a completely appropriate to say such a thing to an ex-boyfriend."

"No, it's fine. It's nice to know you're thinking of me."

She chuckled quietly. That same chuckle that typically accompanied her blushing.

"Are you busy?" she asked.

"Not at all. I'm alone tonight."

"Aw, I'm sorry," she said sincerely.

"Don't be. It's a good TV night."

This time she laughed out loud. Music to my ears. I let the moment linger and didn't say anything for a moment.

"So listen, I'm just calling to..." she said before drifting off for a moment.

I didn't interrupt and waited for her finish her sentence. Truth was, I was curious as to why she was calling. If I had to guess I'd say she'd become lonely again like the first time I met her; but this was just a guess.

"I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you," she said.

"I miss you too," I said with a smile. "What have you been up to?"

"Work; it's always work. And a few charity gigs here and there. The usual."

For a moment, I almost blurted out that she should fly to Australia and stay with me. But I knew things could get messy. We'd broken up for a reason and Emma wasn't the type to simply pop in for a quickie. And so instead of suggesting that, we continued on with idle chit-chat.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Same here; I've been working a lot. The law firm is opening its first international branch in New York so it's been a madhouse recently. I haven't had much time for anything else."

"Really? That's no good. You have to find some time to relax," she said, sounding genuinely concerned.

"It's not that bad really. I still have plenty of time to myself. I even went on a date a couple days ago," I said without thinking and immediately regretted it.

"Oh?" Emma said in a tone that suggested this wasn't welcome news.

"Yeah. You remember that girl I told you about from high school. The one I was really close with but fell out of touch with?" I said as I felt myself digging deeper into the hole I had created.

"Vaguely. Her name was Amy wasn't it?"

"Close; Amber. Yeah, I bumped into her and we went on a date."

"How'd it go? Was it everything you hoped?"

"More or less," I replied before adding after a pause, "Well actually, less."

"Aw, I'm sorry. What went wrong?"

"Nothing went wrong. She was lovely, I was a bit of a jerk but other than that, we had fun. But I'm not madly in love with her like I once was. Maybe I just romanticised our friendship too much."

"Yeah, I do that too. There's been more than a couple of relationships that I've looked back on and said, "what was I thinking?". But like they say, hindsight is 20/20."

"I hope I'm not one of those."

"Of course not! Why would you even say that?" she asked sounding a little bit hurt.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I've just been thinking a lot about us recently."

"Oh? Care to share?" she asked eagerly.

There was something so terribly sad about merely reminiscing about better times with an ex. I paused for a moment before responding, "Maybe later."

And with that, our conversation suddenly grinded to a halt. It was a bit tense but truth be told, I was just grateful that the mention of my date didn't make things too awkward. I held the phone close to me ear and didn't breathe for a few moments. I listened intently for any sound and just heard traffic. It sounded like she'd stop breathing too. The silence probably only lasted about 5 seconds but it felt like an eternity. I was about to say something when suddenly she said,

"I don't think I ever told you but I finally got around to looking through my finances not too long ago. I managed to calculate how much we spent during our time together."

I sat up; my attention having been thoroughly aroused. "I always wondered about that. How much?"

"Guess."

"I don't know; $50,000?"

"Aww, that's cute," she laughed. "You do realize that Breitling watch alone costs over 3000 euros? And the hotel in Geneva we stayed at for over three weeks costs about 1500 euros a night."

"Jesus!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me we were spending so much?"

"You never asked. And I was afraid you'd tell me to stop spending so much."

"That doesn't sound like me," I replied. "Okay. Did we spend over 250,000 euros or pounds or US dollars or whatever currency we're going by?"

"Let's make things easy and go by US dollars. And in any event, we easily spent over 250,000."

"Wow,' I muttered before asking, "Over a half million?"

"Easily," she chuckled.

"Jesus," I mumbled. "Over a million?"

"Unfortunately we fell just short of a million," she said, almost sounding disappointed. "My accountant almost had a heart attack we he saw my bank balance. He said I needed to keep him in the loop more often. I think he just wants to increase his billable hours."

"Fuck. I don't remember spending that much."

"We spent 4 months together. I mean, the money spent on condoms and birth control alone."

I thought back on our time for a moment before replying, "I don't remember using condoms many times."

"That's because you didn't. I kept some on hand just in case but you kept leaving them behind in hotels rooms so I kept buying more."

"I ran out of space in my hand luggage," I shrugged.

"That reminds me. Did everything you sent back to Australia during our trip arrive okay? I never asked."

"Yeah. I had it all sent to my parent's house. When I got back, there were 4 large boxes and a whole bunch of smaller packages waiting for me. I hadn't realised we bought so much. It was hard keeping track of everything, what with me constantly sending stuff back to Australia. When I opened them up, it was like Christmas."

"Hence the reason we spent nearly a million."

Silence once more; but it wasn't awkward this time. I was merely thinking back on all our shopping adventures and I suspected she was thinking about that too. Suddenly a thought popped into my head,

"By the way, when did we last speak?"

"You don't remember?" she asked, sounding a just a tiny bit hurt.

"What do you expect? It's been two years since I left you at Kennedy Airport."

"I don't think it's quite two years, barely 18 months by my count, but it was a long time ago I suppose. Aside from the odd text message, we last spoke about 9 months ago; that was back when we were still calling each other once in a while. I called you and you said you were at work."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I don't remember that being a particularly memorable conversation."

"It wasn't. You just complained about all the paperwork on your desk. I'd had the feeling I'd caught you at a bad time."

"Yeah, that was a stressful period," I said while omitting the fact it was also a period in which our phone calls had become something less to look forward to and more done out of obligation. After months of intermittent phone calls, we simply ran out of things to talk about. Weird thing was, at that point we were officially broken up. We had actually been broken up since Emma ran off to do her film. Nevertheless, we talked for hours about the possibilities of continuing where we left off but due to our circumstances, we agreed to just be friends and decided that it was for the best that we didn't see each other in person again, at least not for awhile lest we decide to run off for another 4 months again and I do irreparable damage to my career, which at that stage (and arguably still at the current stage) was in its infancy, not to mention her pissing off her manager and agent again with another prolonged absence from the limelight.

"Why did you stop calling after that?" she asked.

Another good question. The honest answer was because at that point, I was happy with where we'd left things. And as much as I had missed her, I was fine with going back to my life. Of course that's not reflective of how I feel at this very moment. But like I said; some days, breaking up seems like the best decision ever, others times it seemed like the worst. All this time later and I'm still indecisive about it. Maybe that in itself says something. Despite all my musings on this topic, I just answered,

"Do you really want to get into that?"

"Not really," she replied glumly.

Another pause in the conversation. And once more we were back at awkward. But this time, I broke the silence relatively quickly and said,

"I saw some photos of you online the other day. You looked good. Thinner than I remember."

"You thought I was fat?"

"What? No," I stammered. "You were gorgeous. It's just you looked thinner in the photos is all."

"Well, exercise does wonders. The only exercise I got when we were together was when I was on top."

And with that simple nonchalant statement by Emma, a whole host of other memories began to flood back. And they almost all involved Emma in some state of undress. Nonetheless, I kept my response clean and replied,

"I seem to remember us playing tennis while in Japan."

"Yeah. We played for about 20 minutes before we ended up having sex in the sauna."

I laughed. Japan was early days for us so we couldn't keep our hands off each other. This wasn't a conversation I hadn't expected to be having with Emma after we'd broken up but I wasn't complaining.

"Hot, sweaty sex," I said fondly. "That was a memorable one."

"Yeah it was. Still, we only did that because I was kicking your arse on the tennis court."

"You were not."

"I was."

"Okay, maybe you were," I admitted. "But I was distracted. You're tits were bouncing everywhere and clinging to that shirt you were wearing. Not to mention those tiny shorts."

"If I'd known I'd be running away with you after my movie premiere in Sydney, I might've packed a sports bra."

"Hey, I wasn't complaining; it was ridiculously sexy what you sweat it out on the tennis court."

Emma chuckled, "Anyway, my point is, I've been going to the gym again so I'm back in shape. I'd gotten too soft when we were together."

"I had no idea you were such a health freak."

"I wouldn't call myself a health freak, I just like to keep in shape. A couple more months of constant sex and dining in 5 star restaurants every day and I assure you, my figure would have gone to hell. Also my manager would've killed me."

"I wouldn't have care."

"I bet you'd have cared a bit."

"I wasn't with you because I was attracted to Emma Watson the celebrity, Emma Watson the millionaire or even Emma Watson who was featured in Maxim's top 50 sexiest women of 2013."