And here I thought I was done.
This takes place outside of the world of DWB, but knowingly...if you know what I mean.
In fact, it is predicated on the, I suppose, ultimate fantasy that the subject of said DWB fantasy has actually read the story and felt compelled to reach out, to yours truly.
It is set before the Sequel by the way.
Getting pretty bloody meta now.
As always, no offence meant. Genuinely.
Anyway. Here we go.
DWB Meta
Hello Endorsin,
I read your story. And I just have to ask. Why her? Of all the women in the world, why 'E.W.'?
Anon.
Hello Anon,
Thanks for the email. The big question. I will try to be brief. Not quite as brief as you mind.
In short. It didn't have to be Her. In fact, although it might seem hard to believe, I am not even a particularly avid fan of hers. Nothing whatsoever against her of course, but this story did not start with the subject, but rather the topic.
The topic, or brief, by the way, was to tick as many boxes of erotica as I possibly could at once. And acts. And have it still make a lick of sense.
And those boxes by the way are -- an object of common fantasy -- a celebrity gives the writer somewhat of a pass on convincing the reader that the person of interest is in fact, of interest. I shouldn't have, of course...but it was more compelling.
Secondly, first times. I can't say if this is solely a male thing but, like explorers of old, there is simply something uniquely arousing in experiencing something for the first time, and also providing someone's first time. Hence the two main characters being inexperienced. I am not one of those internet fiends that think skirting the boundaries of legality is 'totally fine'. It just worked better having them inexperienced and with a birthday to celebrate.
Lastly, was to wend the story in such a way that very many things were experienced, and to so with some (admittedly fantastical) level of believability, or internal coherence. So the DWB mantra basically.
So with those criteria set, it was a matter of choosing the subject. Now in order for the DWB pendulum to swing fully, it had to be someone for whom their (publicly) known experience was just the opposite. Not to be pure per se, but to be clearly bound by fame, by the public's expectations of who they should be.
And so there were only a few real candidates. To name names, Natalie Portman would have been another perfectly acceptable one. Or some other very famous actor, perhaps known for some franchise, but also their beauty, their intellect, and even, the strong likelihood that their life could well be in some cruel way, a gilded cage of some sort.
I guess in the end, while it didn't have to be her, in a way, also, it absolutely did. And in some meagre form of defence, there are interviews with E.W. where she appears to be in fact 'sex positive' if I can use such a term, and thus I hoped that perhaps she might take it in the spirit in which it is written.
I would say lastly, that I really did struggle with publishing it at all. And in fact didn't for almost a year, and even tried to send the story to
Her
directly, only for it to bounce back as the email address I'd found was apparently no longer in operation. Likely for the best.
If I am being honest though, I think the only reason I actually did publish it was on the incredibly remote chance that
She
might read it. Anyone else reading it, to be frank, is quite embarrassing to me if I'm being honest. As in I feel bad for having done so. Too late now though I guess.
Well that went longer than I anticipated. I think that I actually wanted someone to ask me this exact question. And, in a fantasy land scenario, if
She
, were to write and ask me to remove it from the site. I would do so, immediately. I should anyway shouldn't I? No need to answer that last part.
Thanks again for the query.
Endorsin
Dear Endorsin,
Thanks for your prompt response.
You know it's quite hard to tell if you're being sincere. Your response sounds as if you're trying to convince yourself that you didn't do anything wrong. Or, worse; you know you did something wrong and went ahead and did it anyway.
I suspect it's because you know, or at least suspect that for the subjects of this Celebrity section, there is little to no chance that any of them would be anything other than completely disgusted by it, no matter how well written or developed the characters are. In fact that might make it worse than the lesser rest...
All of that aside. Let's pretend that '
She
' did write to you, which I suspect is your real and actual fantasy, and was actually intrigued by it. Likely not willing to admit that
She
liked it. But was nevertheless curious as to the why
Her
, and why the sheer scale and depth of the weird, really rather wrong scenes, acts, that you wrote.
Was that the goal? To touch a nerve?
Anon
Dear Anon,
I submit to, and admit all that you suppose. All things at once. I acknowledge the wrongness of writing about a real person. And I feel bad about it. I also, imagine a fantasy wherein the story is taken in a way that is considered no actual harm done or intended. And taking that even further, that they, She, Her, was actually able to get something out of it. A fun, twisted, totally imaginary, path not taken.
But enough about all of that. Did you actually like the story? Any of it? And if so, which parts?
I suppose one thing that would inform this discussion somewhat is whether you are male or female. If the latter, then I would very much like to know how it made you feel? Was there anything in there that broke away from the male gaze/perspective long enough to be of interest to you?
Aside from it being an obvious male fantasy, it was still written as an attempt to bring the female character along with it. In fact the central conceit was her breaking free after all.
Obviously it was heightened, to go as far and as dirty as possible, a more realistic version would simply have been to have some relatively carefree sex and leave it at that. But that would have been a wholly different, much more vanilla story, and one that anyone could easily think up on their own rather than bothering to read.
But I wrote it for myself. As an exercise in what was lacking. And as a fantasy as I apparently want to read.
That is all I can say about it really.
Endorsin
Dear Endorsin,
I am female. I can't prove it so you will just have to believe me.
Did it work? Does it work as a story? Sure. It's well written and there is an internal coherence.
Which parts? Well...the best part was the story B tells in the sauna. The worst? Probably the windscreen scene, just because it was the least believable, among many strong contenders.
I have to wonder...have you written anything else? Or more? A follow-up?
Also, you say you're not English, or British perhaps. Where are you from then?
Anon
Dear Anon,